Hello lovelies!

How are y'all doing?

I am back with another update, this is an emotional one, just warning y'all before hand lol.

Kab tak may soon come to an end :(

Eid Mubarak to y'all in advance, stay happy <3

IG : mananxmoonlight ☁️

..........

M A N I K

“ Nandini tumhe pata hain, itne saalon me, aisa ek bhi pal nahi tha jab maine tumhe yaad nahi kiya ”
I confessed as this woman, the mother of my only child, lay on my chest, my hands never leaving her beautiful messy hair.



“ Manik, maine tumhe har pal yaad kiya hain, ghusse se, pyaar se, har emotion ke saath tumhe yaad kiya, i wanted you to be there beside me and
Ifra ”
She confessed, as soon as i heard her sniff, my heart couldn’t take it, immediately i pulled her up, into my neck.

“ Manik, please, i know you’re gonna apologize, Manik I’ve said this to you, crores of times, jo ho gaya, wo ho
gaya ”
She tried to make me understand, but what am i supposed to do with this heavy heart of mine, filled with guilt, i ruined a beautiful relationship, i ruined MaNan, if i wasn’t this lucky, i would’ve been on my bed, with nothing but darkness in the room, with my soul empty, living with what was left with me, mine and Nandini’s memory.

As that crossed my mind, my entire body, shivered, literally, i shut my eyes tight, i didn’t even wanna picture that, i want Nandini to spread her light in my dark room once again, only she can.

“ Manik, kya hua hain, look at me, Manik please open your eyes “
She would’ve seen me shutting my eyes tight, cupping my face in her hands, she caressed my cheeks.

And i left this girl, for them, woah News Flash, Manik Malhotra se bada bewakood koi nahi.


“ Jaan please bolo na, what happened all of a sudden? ”
I opened my eyes, and they saw her beautiful face, which held concern for me, her lips wobbled as she saw me so helpless.

“ Kuch nahi, bas tumhare bin, guzre din yaad aa gaye ”
I cried, i cried there, before her, in her arms, i couldn’tcontrol anymore, only she has this power over me, only Nandini Murthy.

“ Nandini, i..i used to just keep staring at your picture, ghanto tak, tumse baate karta tha, tumse shikayatein karta tha, lekin, lekin jab tumhara jawaab nahi aata tha, tab phirse toot jaata tha, phir ehsaas hota tha, kis baat ki saza mil rahi hain mujhe ”
I looked at her face, as tears dropped her eyes, she kissed my forehead and snuggled me into her chest, like a mother would.

“ Nandini people thought, people kya, my so called friends, they thought i was crazy, pagal samajhte the mujhe, jab mujhe tumhari tasweero se baatein karte dekhte the, bas kabhi mere muh pe nahi kaha unlogo
ne ”
She was breaking along with me, i know she cannot bear to see her Manik in such condition.




“ Nandini jab office se thak ke ghar aata tha, mere dosto ne kabhi mujhse khaane ka tak nahi pucha, fuck, they used to party all night, aur main, main baitha rehta tha, khule aasmaan ke neeche, ye sochkar, that atleast, we were under the same sky, agar pooja aunty, hamari maid nahi hoti, toh shayad bhook se mar chuka hota ”
I chuckled, remembering my bitter past.

She gasped, and broke once again.
“ Manik please, aisa mat bolo, please Manik ”

“ Nandini, I wanted nothing, but you. I was ready to fall in your feets, and beg for your forgiveness, mujhe tumhari zaroorat thi, mujhe tumhari zaroorat hamesha rahegi ”
She pecked my lips, crying, hiccups joing her cries now, i caressed her hair and tried to make her feel better.

“ Dad was busy, pata nahi kaha, Cabir aa jata tha kabhi kabhi, mujhe dekhne, lekin mujhpe kisi cheez ka asar nahi hota tha, mujhe bas meri Nandini chahiye thi, one day Dhruv spoke some shit about you, and that was it for me, i destroyed everything, pura ghar, everything into pieces, just like how they broke our hearts into pieces, i got severly injured, mere dono haath buri tarah se zakhmi hue the, i wasn’t able to eat for days, i survived on juice for starters, tum nahi thi na Manik ko apne haatho se
khilaane. ”
I was crying, bohot dino baad ro raha hoon, Nandini ke saamne, Nandini ke saath.

She climbed on my torso, kissed my face, and cried, attached to me like a baby koala.
“ Baby how did you, how did you survive without me ”
She was sobbing, i caressed her back, this girl.

“ Nandini, har ek pal, everything showed me the value of you, you would’ve saved me, bacha leti tum mujhe, baahon me samet leti apne ”
It was my turn, to sob, like a baby, i hugged her so tight.

“ Alya tried to approach me alot, after you left, but i didn’t even like to see anyone’s faces, i just wanted to see your beautiful face, I knew she was obsessed and she’d get tired, that’s what happened, all her fake concern vanished and Dhruv and her became a
thing ”
Nandini listened to everything, while she caressed my face.

“ We just lived under the same roof, people looked at us, as a perfect happy family, only if they knew, kitna toota hua tha main andar se ”
These tears, they’re not gonna stop today.

“ Tumhare ghar ke neeche, baith’ta tha, sochta tha, abhi window se curtain hataogi, aur mujhe apna khubsoorat chehra dikhaogi, i used to sit under your window for hours, hamari yaadein yaad karta tha, kaise tum chupke mujhse milne neeche aati thi, and once you used to come down, i used to crib to let you go, those were the days Nandini, khubsoorat din the wo, lekin tumne kabhi wo parda khol ke apna chehra dikhaya hi nahi, phir ehsaas hota tha, ab tum mere kareeb nahi ho  ”
I remembered all the bad memories, i went through, without my Nandini.

“ Once, chacha saw me, tumhari window ke neeche, he got really very mad, aur unhone wahi kiya jo kisi bhi beti ka baap karta, he held me by my collars and threw me out of your area, he warned me to never come there again, aur uss din dil phir se toota tha, kam se kam uss window ke neeche baithne se mere dil ko sukoon milta tha, ab wo sukoon bhi chala gaya tha, ek din phir aaya tha, dheet thana hamesha se, lekin, gate locked tha, there was no way i could enter, phirse dil toot gaya ”
She just cried, sitting before me, her hands rubbing my chest, trying to calm me down.

“ Log bohot the aas paas, apne nahi the, apni toh bas tum thi, meri jaan, mera sukoon, sab le gayi thi tum uss din, sab kuch, Manik ko le gayi thi tum, Manik Malhotra chut gaya tha peeche, akele, tumhare bina, i never drank, kyuki Manik Malhotra never gets drunk, aur mujhe ghum bhoolna nahi tha shayad, main apne aapko pal pal yaad dilana chahta tha, unn takleefo ka, jo maine tumhe di thi, how could i do that to you Nandini? Maine apni hi jaan ko khudse alag kar
diya ”
I chuckled bitterly.

“ Manik ”
She sobbed, as i hid my face in her chest and continued to cry, i can only be weak in front of her.

“ I literally drowned myself in work , wo log sirf mere paas band se related kaam ke liye aate the, bas, uske alawa they never gave two flying fucks about what i was doing, on your birthday, i baked a cake, for the first time in my whole life, and i celebrated your birthday, i sang a song for you,  i was so into you,  i wished you a Happy Birthday and i begged you to come back to me. ”
I remember that day so well.

“ On your birthday, i visited an NGO, gave the childrens so many gifts, kyuki mujhe pata tha, you’d have done the same , i thought, you’d watch this from somewhere, and see how changed i was, and you’d come back to me, itna haar gaya tha main ”
Those were the scary days, which still gave me jitters.

“ Mohabbat me deewanapan dekha maine, mehsoos kiya, tum hamesha se meri deewangi rahi ho, hamesha se, khudko khatam kar chuka tha main tumhari mohabbat me, duniya ki har cheez mujhe aam lagti hain tumhare saamne, meri ek galti ne mujhe barbaad kar diya tha Nandini. ”
She held me so tight, assuring me, that she was here now, and my sufferings had ended.

“ Apni mohabbat ko dhoka diya tha maine, mujhe aaj bhi yaad hain, tumhara chehra, you looked at me with so much of hope, and i crashed them all, uss din jo tumne feel kiya, main apne aapko wo dard har roz mehsoos karwana chahta tha, itne saal, itne saal Nandini, tadpa hoon tumhare pyaar me, tumhe apni baahon me lene ke liya ”
I held her hand and kept it above my heart as they were caressing my hair earlier.

“ Yeh dil, sirf tumhare liye dhadka hain, samjhi tum, jal ke raakh ho jaata tha main, unn sab ko apni mohabbat ke saath dekh ke, aag lagti thi, mere seene me, dil chahta tha, khatam kardu sab, lekin main jaanta tha, mohabbat se bichadne ka gham, lekin wo aag Nandini, mujhe barbaad karke chodti thi hamesha, kyuki unke paas wo tha, jo mere paas nahi tha, unke paas unki mohabbat thi ”
I was a mess, when have i not been a mess without her?

“ Lekin khanjar maarne walo ko, dard ka kya pata? Agli bar mujhe jalan tab hui, jab cabir ke paas ek baccha, uska beta tha, i thought i’d never have a chance of having a baby with you, mujhe laga main aise hi zindagi bhar akele tadapta rahuga ”
I was never jealous about anything in my life, but all these things boiled my blood, because they had it and i didn’t, they fucking snatched it from me.

“ Jis din tumhe khwaab me dekhta tha, us din meri khushi ka koi thikana nahi hota tha, kyuki khwaab me tum mere kareeb hoti thi, meri baahon me, mujhe chid thi unn neendon se, jinke khwaabo me tum nahi dikhti thi
mujhe ”
She had her forehead on mine, as tears, rushed through our eyes.




“ Aur neend, neend kya hoti hain, wo bas mujhe sleeping pills khaane ke baad pata chalta tha, bina sleeping pills ke toh neend aana mere liye na mumkin ho gaya tha Nandini, mujhe deewana bana kar chod diya tha tumne Nandini, mera pyaar tumhare liye behadd hain, aur tumhari mohabbat me main koi bhi hadd paar kar sakta hoon ”
She nodded her head, as i looked at her intensely as if waiting for her to assure me, for her to get how mad i was in her love.

“ Maa baap toh kabhi the nahi dekhne ke liye, mujhpe dhyaan dene ke liye, aur jab tum chali gayi meri apni galti ki wajah se, i lost every fucking thing, Manik lost that day, i am sorry Nandini, please forgive me, please don’t leave me ever again, i love you, i love you so much, i was just a body without you, meri rooh hamesha tumhare paas hoti hain, maaf kardo mujhe, i need you in my life, i need every bit of you, main deewana hoon tumhara, tumhare bina jeena mujhe aata hi nahi hain, please forgive me ”
I continuously ranted the apologies, she was so fucking important for me to survive.

She said nothing but held my face, clasped my hair in her fists and kissed me, so deep, so passionately, as she sat on my laps, i held her by her neck, pushed her more into me, i entered the inside of her mouth, my tongue roamed on each corner of her mouth, tasting her sweetness, she tasted like honey.

My hands moved to her waist, i clasped them tightly, assuring myself, that she wouldn’t vanish anywhere, she’s right here, on my laps.

As soon as we were breathless, she broke the kiss, while i dipped my face into her neck, my safe place, i placed kisses down her neck, she shuddered on my lap, i gathered all her hair on the left and continued to torture and love her, my mouth worked perfectly on her neck, her adams apple bobbed, as she shifted in my laps, not being able to control her moans, she finally moaned
“ Ahh Manik ” and i got to hear her sweet voice, moaning my name.

I cupped the sides of her face, and studied her face, her lips were swollen and purple, her face flushed, her hair messy, her breathings fast, her eyes, that intensity in her eyes, as she stared back at me, my eyes finally dropped to her neck and there, i may or may not have given her a hickey or two, i just hope she doesn’t kill me for this.

“ Manik, thank you, thank you so much, for fighting all this, thank you mujhse itni mohabbat karne ke liye, you survived baby, you passed it all, mere bina, mujhe yaadon me rakhke, you are here, as strong as ever and only vulnerable in front of your Nandini. Manik, i am so proud of you, look at you, you’ve been through so much, you made it still, you’ve always been a fighter, you won Manik, our love won, you showed them all, how strong you were, how strong our love is, main bhi tumse beintehaa mohabbat karti hoon manik, tum’me jaan basti hain meri, please stop apologizing, please Manik, rehem karo mujhpe aur ye maafiyaa maangna band karo, main aise nahi dekh sakti tumhe, i love you Manik, i love you so
much ”
She always, always manages to steal my heart, she did it again, spoke these beautiful words and bursted into tears as she dropped her head into my neck.

“ I am sorry Manik, sorry for not being there, Manik, Manik, tum, t...tum, baby, i am so sorry, i wish i could chop their heads for what they did to you, akela chod diya meri jaan ko, mere Manik ko ”
She was short of breath, as she was continuously crying, i knew she can’t see her Manik in pain ever.

“ Lekin, ab main hoon na tumhare paas, tumhare kareeb, I’ll handle you, sambhal lungi tumhe , hamesha ki tarah, Kahi nahi jaugi tumhe chodke, i can’t let you go through, all that you’ve been through, no Manik, kab tak hum aise alag rahege ek dusre se? Kab tak Manik? We deserve each other, we deserve happiness, we deserve to have a perfect family with each other, I’ve forgiven you a long time back Manik, grudges rakhke kiska bhala hua hain? Aur tumse? Tum toh meri mohabbat ho. Tumne ek impulsive decision liya, but you went through so much, and that is enough already, i can’t let you go through more, no i can’t, i love you Manik. ”

She was crying so much, thank you universe for blessing me with her.

“ Na... Nandini, thank you, i mean, mujhe nahi pata mujhe kya bolna chahiye, but only a girl like you, who has a heart of gold can think about forgiving a monster like me, tumhara ehsaan rahega ye mujhpe ”
I broke down into tears, like a little child, who after suffering alot got his happiness.



“ Manik ye mera ehsaan nahi , meri mohabbat hain tumhare liye, and i love this monster Manik ”
She giggled, that beautiful sound calmed me down, assured me, that she was here for me, to love me.



“ You know what Nandini, she nodded for me to continue with a smile when i first saw you, you looked like a lioness, who had so much power over everyone present there, over me especially, who froze after seeing you, after having a look at that beautiful face of yours, after hearing your voice, you had so much control over the situation, you owned the aura, the place, the way you talked, looked at me, i knew, you were a Nandini with power and strength, nobody not even Manik Malhotra could stand beside you, you looked fierce, you knew what you
wanted ”
She looked at me, i saw how she asmired me when i talked.



“ You can give a person shivers Nandini, you’ve made it so far, made a name of your own, i am so proud of you ”
She smiled at me, as i bent forward and pecked her swollen lips.



“ Mujhe hamesha se pata tha, ki agar hum mile bhi, tab bhi tum, mujhse nafrat karogi, but trust me, when it actually happened, i broke into pieces, i didn’t want anyone to gather it but you, when you walked off, while i ran behind you, showed me how much i fucked up, my heart that had stopped beating, started beating fastly when i heard that little girl, who’s my whole world now, call you mamma, that scene still gives me jitters, where you my lioness was taking care of our little cub, i wanted to take you both in my arms and run away Nandini, thank you for giving me Ifra, meri zindagi hain
wo. ”
The corner of her eyes, again watered as she heard me speak.

“ Manik, i had to become the way i was, and i am, iss duniya me jaise acche log hain waise bure bhi hain, shayad thode zyada, you have to be strong and show them who rules, or else, they’d call you names and walk off, aur Ifra, Ifra toh meri jaan ka tukra hain, mere jeene ki wajah, she has given me nothing but khushiyaan, meri choti si zindagi”
She has a different type of glow and smile, when she talks about Ifra, who’s currently in the living room, playing barbie with her grandfather, who cancelled a meeting just so that he could play with her, I would do the same ofcourse.

“ Nandini, would you want to talk about your sufferings baby? ”
And that’s it, she turned cold and distant.

I was about to cry, when i wrote this update last night, after writing this chapter, i rushed back and read the old chapter, where Manik and Nandini meet for the first time, after the seperation, oof, they've had a journey of their own, and even me as a writer, I've seen myself evolve, i would request you to please take out some time and read that chapter again, just to feel once again, how we started, thank you being there and appreciating me
always <3

How was the chapter? please let me know, I'd be waiting for your reviews, love x