Hello lovelies!!

This is an emotional chapter, I was maybe about to cry when I was writing :(

My IG : mananxmoonlight

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Zindagi maine ki hai lakho gunahein, 

par tu toh janti haina meri dost sirf wohi meri panha hai,

darkhwast karta hu mai tujhse aye zindagi,

pohochade mujhe waha, jaha rehta hai mera chota sa jaha.

                 - Mahek <3

M A N I K

Yahi yahi,  bas yahi feel ho raha hai aaj mujhe,  dard ho raha hai. Bohot zyada dard.

Ab mushkil ho raha hai iss dard ke saath jeena, kaash wo hoti mujhe sametne ke liye, par nahi, koi nahi hai mera.
Maine khud usse apne aap se dur kar diya. Tanha sa ho gaya hoon.

Pyaar chahiye mujhe aur wo bhi sirf meri Nandini ka. Thak gaya hu, uske bina jeena, aag ke lapton pe chalne jaise lagta hai. Maine khud apne aapki aur uski zindagi barbad kardi.

Apni aashiqui khatam kar di.
Wo naaraz hai mujhse,  aur ho bhi kyu na harkatein hi kuch aisi ki hai maine. Dil dhukane ki saza mil rahi hai, aur mai khushi khushi iss saza ko bhugatne ke liye tayyar hu.

Bas uska noorani chehra dekhna hai mujhe,  mano jaise chehra dekhte hi jaha roshan ho jayega mera.

Koi khuda ka banda aaye aur mujhe apni Nandini ke paas le jaye,  maafi mangni hai mujhe usse.  Chuna hai usse pyaar se. Bohot mulayam hua karti thi uski skin, aur usse pyaar se sehlana mujhe bohot pasand tha.

Uske khule baal mujhe sukoon dete the,  apne aap ko chupa lu unme aisa lagta tha. Uski nasheelin aakhon me phirse dub jana hai mujhe.

Mujhe meri Nandini lado, bheek mangta hu mai.
Chaar saal ho gaye hai,  par aaj mera sabra tut gaya hai.
Mere chote se jaha ka pata dedo mujhe. Ek baar uski muskurahat dekh lu meri kali zindagi rangon se bhar jayegi.

Galati hui hain mujhse, nahi nahi gunah kiya hai maine, par ab yeh gunehgaar maafi mangna chahta hai, beinteha sharminda hu mai. Apni Nandini ka dil dukhaya haina maine wo aaye aur mujhe koi bhi saza de.

Mujhe koi dikkat nahi hogi. Ziddi hai wo bohot jo thaan leti hai wo karke dikhati hai, karishma karne me toh mahir  hai wo.

Pata hai kyu,  arey meri Nandini ne ek monster ko insaan bana diya. Jaha jati hai pyaar barsati hai.  Pyaar hamesha se karta hu usse, bas saath nahi diya uska maine. Ghusse me naak laal ho jati thi uski par uss waqt usse zyada cute koi nahi lagta tha.

Hamari jodi thi hi alag, wo itni cute height wali aur uske hisaab se mai Eiffel Tower hu.
Wo itni shaant aur mai gusse wala monster jisse sirf Nandini Murthy kaaboo me la sakti hai. Wo tamilian mai punjabi par pyaar religion nahi dekhta bas ho jata hai.

Bohot dooriyan aa gayi hai humare beech,  aur iska zimmedar, sirf aur sirf mai hu.
Gidgida ( beg)  rahi thi wo ki mai usse na chodu par, apne doston ke pyaar me itna andha ho gaya tha, ki uske aasuon ki  kadar hi nahi ki.

Par jaise ki maine kaha meri Nandini dusro se alag thi.  Break up ke baad log ek dusre ko bura bolte hai. Usne  mujhe dua di ki main successful ho jau aur khuda ne uski baat sun li usne mujhe maathein  pe chuma aur uss waqt mere dil me mehsus hua jaise ki mai kuch khone wala hu aur bas khodi maine apni zindagi.

Talent hunt ke ek din pehle hi hum ek hue the,  usne mujhpe bharosa kiya, uske aakhon me maine wo chamak dekhi.

Usne mujhe apne aapko saupa, dil bhar ke pyaar kiya maine usse uss raat, shayad mujhe andaza ho gaya tha ki dusre din kuch galat hone wala hain.

Uss raat wo meri saason se bhi zyada kareeb thi,  hamare dil jude hue the shayad humari soch bhi milti ho.

Shayad usse bhi wahi khatarnak feeling mehsus hui ho.
Bohot khush thi wo dusri subah,  khilkhila ke has rahi thi par raat aayi uski khushiyan chin kar le gayi.

Uss din bas mujhe dekh rahi thi, jab mere apne dost uspe ilzam laga rahe the,  shayad apne liye mere aakhon me kuch dhund rahi thi.  Par mai uski khwaish puri nahi kar paya. Akela chod diya usse ladne ke liye iss zalim duniya se. Agar usse kuch ho gaya na toh mai apne apko khatam kar dunga. Mujhme itna ghussa bhara hua hai par mera ghussa kaboo karne wali nahi hai aaj.

Meri hateli se khoon beh raha hai par usse pyaar se chumne wali nahi hai aaj. Uski tasveero se baatein karna meri aadat ho chuki hai, subah uthte hi uska chehre dekhta hu mai.

Jis ladki ne mujhe itna pyaar diya, apni neendein gawayi jab mai beemar rehta tha,  apni saasein mere naam kardi, maine uss ladki ko thukhrakar Alia ko chuna. Abhi iss waqt mai kaha ja raha hu mujhe kuch khabar nahi hai bas gadi ke wheels chal rahe..

Dhoka dene se dhoka dene wale ko aur dhoka sehne wale dono ko takleef hoti hai.

Zindagi mujhe dusra mauka de degi shayad par Nandini, meri Nandini usne mujhpe apne se zyada bharosa kiya tha aur bharosa todne ke liye kabhi mafi nahi degi shayad.

Pagal ho jata hu mai jab mujhe uski zaroorat hoti hai aur wo nahi hoti,  mujhe aisi baahein   nahi chahiye jo meri Nandini ko apni baahon me na le sake.
Kyu itna tadapna padta hai pyaar me?  Kyu aasan nahi hota pyaar karna?  Isiliye kyuki agar wo aasan hota toh shayad wo kabhi pyaar nahi hota.

Mere paas toh bohot saare log hai mera khayal rakhne ke liye par Nandini toh akeli hai.
Kaise sambhalti hogi wo khudko? Kya kaam karti hogi?  Ye sabhi sawaal mujhe aur bhi guilty bana dete hai. Sab meri galti hai sirf meri.

Bohot ho gaya ab bas mujhe meri Nandini chahiye, zidd ban gayi hai wo meri ab.
Mujhe meri Nandini lauta do.

Mai uske pairon mein girke mafi mangne ke liye tayyar hu bas mujhe usse mila do.
Mila do mujhe meri jaan se phirse Manik aur Nandini ko do jism aur ek jaan bana do.

Lastly not being able to control my pain, i closed my eyes and shouted her name loudly.
         
 NANDINIIIIII
         

.......

N A N D I N I

I looked beside me and saw my life sleeping peacefully i pecked her lips, stacked lots of pillows beside my baby, tied the knot of my gown and adjusting the comforter on Ifra walked towards the balcony.

" Nandini have you gone mad?  Tu Manik ke baare me kaise soch sakti hai? Khwaab tha Khwaab hi rehne de. Kaise bhul sakti hu mai jo zyadti mere saath hui. Mujhe dhoka mila. Samaj me mera naam kharab hua.

Par samaj ki mujhe bilkul parwah nahi hai,  parwah bas apne parivaar ki hai. Kyu Manik ki wajah se unlogo ko iss samaj ki buri bhali baatein sunni pad rahi hain?

Hamare paak (pure)  rishte ko tod kar tumne mujhe bhi tod diya tha. Listen to me carefully tod diya tha, past is past ab nahi, ab toh maine apne aapko bohot mazbut bana liya hai.

Kyuki ab main sirf Nandini Murthy nahi ek maa bhi hu, aur meri saasein chalti hai Ifra ko dekhkar. Kyu meri bacchi ko baap ka pyaar naseeb nahi ho raha hai? Kyu har baar masumo ka dil tutta hai? Insab cheezon ka jawab kaun dega?

Manik ki yaadein yaad karke khoon khaulta hai mera, kyu aaj bhi uske khwaab aate hai mujhe?
 
Sukoon se sone ka bhi hak nahi hai shayad mujhe.  Mujhe bohot dar lag raha hai aiyappa, mai sabko kaise face karungi? 

Mai kaise bataugi wo logo ki pichle kuch saalon se me LA me reh rahi hu. Aiyappa mera saath dena meri bacchi ka dhyaan rakhna. Mujhe apne parivaar ko face karne ki takat dena.  Unki sari narazgi mitane me meri madat karna.

Bas ek guzarish hai meri aapse mera saamna Manik Malhotra se kabhi mat karana aur agar samna hua bhi toh mai uske samne kabhi weak na banu.

Mai ussi shehar laut rahi hu, jisne mujhe pyaar karna sikhaya.
Aaj bhi yaad hai mujhe jab mai first time space academy aayi thi. Kitni bholi thi mai, phir monster se mili, dosti hui aur dosti kab pyaar me badal gayi pata hi nahi chala.

Subeh chacha chachi ki sweet fight dekhna. Chachi ki nayi nayi dishes try karna dar dar ke.

Life kitni aasan thi, Amms ki meethi meethi daat khana. Rishu ko pareshan karna.
Aiyappa mujhe bohot yaad aati hai apne parivaar ki.  Meri Amms mujhe maaf karengi na? 

Mujhe...mujhe

I was crying remembering my happy days with my family, I  remembered my college days,  my  music classes

mujhe space ki bohot yaad aati hai, space ke competitions. Musicana, talent hunt kitna excited rehte the humlog.

Canteen ka khana. Navya aur meri masti.  Huh
i started wiping my tears at this point. usse yaad bhi hoga kya ye sab? Aisa kyu kiya Navya ne ? Khair mujhe kya? 

Main bas jakar apne  parivaar ko gale lagana chahti hu,  Amms ke god me sir rakhkar aaram karna chahti hu, par mujhe toh ye bhi nahi pata ki wo log abhi bhi Mumbai me rehte hai ya nahi?

Bhale hi mai sabko miss karti hu par maine apne aap se wada kiya tha, apne bacche ka dhyaan rakhne ka,  mere parivaar ka naam roshan karne la aur bohot successful hone ka jo ki mai accomplish kar chuki hu. Ab bas ek baar waha jaana hain aur un sab se milna hain.

Closing the doors of the balcony i came back towards the bed and saw Ifra had some frowns on her forehead.

" Mera baccha mere bina so bhi nahi sakta, mamma is sorry aa jao mere paas, meri jaan. "

I bent over Ifra and started talking.

My love woke up with a sad pout and yawned a little.

I  kept my palms on her lips and immediately held her tiny hands from rubbing her eyes and myself started caressing it very lightly.

" Mamma "
Ifra called me just like what she does the first time she opens her eyes from sleep.

" Jee jaan boliye "
I said pecking her cheeks.

Nandini and Ifra's night wears.

" Itne jaldi uth gayi aaj meri jaan,  batao mumma ko "
I said continuously pecking Ifra's smally palms.

"  pleash   "
She pointed at the balcony.

" Jaan balcony me bohot thand hai baccha, abhi nahi morning me okay?  "
Ifra didn't say anything.

" Okay mamma aur baby balcony me jayege par hoodie pehnoge aap toh hi "

Ifra immediately agreed to my condition and nodded her head frantically .

I took ifra in my arms, opened her cupboard and made Ifra wear her cute hoodie.

Inspite of making Ifra wear hoodie i carried a comforter also i knew how sensitive Ifra was.

We sat on the swing placed in the balcony.

" Mamma cly cly  " 
Oh know she caught me again.

" Nahi jaan this is water, mamma washed her face "
I hated lying to Ifra.

I made Ifra lay in my laps and covered both of us with the large comforter.

" Stals " ( stars )
oh i forgot to tell you all my baby loves stars too, uska bhi khoon hai similaraties hongi hi.

" Yes jaan mamma saw,  mera baccha it's late na aap kyu uth gaye ninni nahi karni ? "
I asked adjusting her hood.

" You wele .... You wele..not with ifla "
Ifra pouted .

" Mamma is sorry " 
I apologized and pecked her pout.

" Abhi mumma is with you na let's sleep,  chalo adora "

Saying this i layed over the swing as it had soft mattress and because I  was a bit short also,  I adjusted Ifra beside me and covered both of us again.

Ifra started rubbing her face on my chest, while hugging me tightly.

" Oh finally aapko bhook lag gayi,  jaan kyu aise karte ho aap ,kuch nahi khana hota hai aapko except for chocolates , mamma ka feedy bhi nahi "
I complained to this crazy baby of mine.

" Ifla hungly "
saying this she again hugged me.

I wanted to open the knot of my shrug but it was not possible due to Ifra's tight hug and i didn't want to separate my baby so i said lovingly.

" Jaan thoda peeche ho jao,  mamma ko knot kholne do. Bhook lagi haina aapko "
but Ifra didn't budge.

" Meli mamma "
Ifra started ranting continuously.

" Shh shh calm down jaan yes bas aapki mamma, but sirf 5 seconds ke liye hug ko break kare? Feedy is important na meri zindagi. "

Understanding my words Ifra calmed down a little and moved back wards.

I immediately opened the knot, seperated my inner clothes and attached Ifra to my buds.

But Ifra being hungry, she started sucking it hard but i knew it was not good for her.

" Mamma ki jaan, calm down drink peacefully, mamma yahi hai adora kahi nahi ja rahi hu mai. Don't stress yourself baby "

Ifra nodded cutely and i said gritting my teeth out of love just like always.

" Meri daulat "

......

Who's pov was more painful?

Are we in love with Nandini and Ifra?

How was the chapter? Please Let me know your reviews <3

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