KHUSHI

I looked beautiful.

I couldn't stop staring at my reflection in the mirror and admiring myself, how my hair was put up, how flawless my makeup was or how beautiful my mint green engagement gown was.

"I still remember the day we saw the ad and I forced you to go to the interview." Arohi smiled at me.

How could I forget that day? It was the first time I met Arnav and I liked the kind of a person he was, I also remember hating Rahat, now look, here I was, all ready to get engaged to Rahat.

"I mean I can't believe you are actually getting engaged, I mean wow!" Arohi looked at me excitedly, trust me when I say this, I did want to be happy about this engagement, I did want to be excited but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't be.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and although I liked how I looked, I dint like the person I had become, this wasn't me, I would never get engaged to just any guy so that I'd get rid of my feelings for some other guy.

Someone tell me again, why exactly was I doing this?

Since when did I become so stupid?

"Why are you silent Khushi? Say something, it's your engagement day today." Arohi said.

"Can I ask you a question Arohi?" I asked.

"Sure anything." She nodded.

"You are my best friend, you've known me better than anyone so answer me honestly please. Do you think this is the right decision to make? I mean I get it, Arnav doesn't feel for me, but why do I have to get engaged to Rahat when I don't feel anything for him?

I know I agreed because I thought it was going to make a difference to Arnav, maybe make him jealous but nothing like that happened, and now when today the day had come, I can't get myself to get out of this room and go get engaged to Rahat, this isn't something I would ever do."

"Actually No. You are right, I know you better and although I am the kind of a person to take decisions like this, you on the other side are completely opposite of me, so I don't think it's the right decision given your personality, but according to me it's right." She said.

"Yes, exactly that. I just don't find this right, I've tried all I could but I just can't bring myself to get engaged to Rahat, I made a big mistake and now I realize it today, what am I supposed to do?

This is not me Arohi, I don't make stupid decisions like this, I don't know why I did this but now I'm scared, I am really scared.

In a time like this, I should have just left the job, tried to avoid Arnav to stop feeling things for him, but instead I'm getting engaged to his brother.

Why dint I ever think this through? Why did I become so stupid? I hate this girl, because this isn't me." I tried really hard to control my tears.

"Khushi are you ready?" Mom asked as she walked inside my room, I quickly blinked off my tears.

"Oh My God! You look so pretty." She looked at me in awe, she walked towards me and kissed me on the forehead with a huge smile on my face.

"Okay enough of the emotional time, we're late we need to leave, come on." Mom grabbed my hand and pulled me outside, I followed her like a lifeless person, literally.

"Wow, is this my sister?" I heard Kabir comment.

"Yes you idiot, you don't notice but I am beautiful." I said.

"No wonder you managed to trap such a famous musician." He giggled as he followed us to the car that Rahat had sent to pick us up.

Once we arrived at the Raizada mansion, my heart started beating so rapidly, I was scared as hell, this wasn't what I wanted to do, yet I don't know why I was doing it.

"Arohi, I can't do this." I grabbed her hand and whispered to her.

"Khushi, don't you think it's too late to decide that now?" she asked, mom and Kabir stepped out of the car waiting for us to step out too.

"Girls, come on get out." Mom said. We both walked out of the car and looked around, there were lots of guests and reporters around too, and this just made me scared once again and then out of nowhere I saw Arnav heading towards us.

My eyes became moist once again as I saw him walking towards us, he was dressed beautiful in a navy three piece suit, his hair was perfect as usual, and he kept on staring at me without blinking his eyes, and for a moment it was like everyone else around us disappeared, all I could see was Arnav, all I could feel was love for him and in this moment I just knew, even though I had been stupid all this while and made stupid decisions, I couldn't get engaged to Rahat, not when every time I looked at Arnav I felt this way.

I mean he was so perfect, so caring, the whole of yesterday he spent time around me, asking me if I liked this and that, he made sure that today was going to be perfect, all for me, how could I not fall in love with a man like that?

"Beautiful." He said as he stopped in front of me.

"Just beautiful? I was expecting some more compliments." I pouted.

"I think there's no better compliment than that Khushi, as simple as the term is, it describes you perfectly, you are beautiful, in and out." He smiled, I just smiled back, I had a lot going on in my mind, I could only say it to myself though. Damn it, why was this so painful?

Yeh lamha bhi, guzar jayega... Yeh dard seene me hi dab jayega...
Yeh baatein, adhoori reh jayegi... tum aur me adhoore reh jayenge...

"You have something on your hair." He said as he stepped closer and looked at my head trying to get rid of whatever that was there, as for me, I felt like I had stopped breathing in that moment, all I could feel was how close he was to me, and I just wanted to hold him into my arms, hug him tightly and tell him how much I loved him, only if he were mine though.

Kaash aisa bhi hota... tum mere hote... me tumhara hota... to yeh ghum na hote...
Kaash aisa bhi hota... tum mere hote... me tumhara hota... to yeh ghum na hote...

Once he stepped backwards, he looked so awkward, he immediately excuse himself and walked away and at this moment when I saw him walking away, I knew I couldn't do this.

I dint care whether he loved me back or not, I wasn't going to be stupid anymore, I wasn't going to let my heart break more, I wasn't going to give Rahat any false hopes, it might be late, but not too late to mend my stupid mistakes and that's what I was exactly going to do.

I was going to accept that he might not feel a thing for me, but I was going to love him, with or without getting his love back, I dint need to get engaged to his brother to stop the feelings, this feelings were the best thing about me, and him.

"I need to go see Rahat." I said to Arohi.

"What? Can't you wait?" Arohi asked.

"No I can't, now come along. Mom I'm going to the washroom." I informed mom as I grabbed Arohi's arm and pulled her along inside the Raizada mansion.

I headed upstairs straight to his room, his door was shut so I stared at it nervously and inhaled deep breaths trying to give myself some confidence.

"What's going on in your mind Khushi?" Arohi asked, she looked scared, she was scared for me.

"Just wait for me here please." I said to her and I gathered the courage and finally knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" I heard Rahat.

"It's me, Khushi." My voice was literally shaking. Wasn't this too filmy? Me realizing my mistakes in the last moment and trying to mend them, too cliché already.

"The door's open." He said, I pushed it open and walked inside, I found him seated on his bed, he was wearing a white shirt and a black trouser, no tie, no coat or anything.

"Why aren't you ready yet?" I asked as I closed the door and walked towards him, I sat down beside him and looked at him, he looked like he was lost in some deep thoughts.

"And by the way, you know you can't wear black to your own engagement?" I said. Stupid thing to say Khushi, just say what you want to already.

He lifted his head up and looked at me with a smile, his eyes seemed moist, was he worried? Scared? Nervous? I had never seen Rahat like this before, I dint even know what the problem was.

He put his hand on my cheek and smiled faintly, looking into my eyes, his eyes seemed... lost.

"I haven't met a girl as beautiful as you, and today... you look extraordinarily beautiful." He smiled, but that smile dint seem to touch his eyes. What was wrong? I could feel like there was something bothering him, I just dint know what.

"So tell me what you couldn't say yesterday." He smiled again. Was this why he was sad? He knew what I was going to say dint he?

"Rahat?" I looked at him in surprise.

"Say it already Khushi, you might not have the chance again." He held my hand into his.

I nodded as I kept on trying to speak but it seemed like my voice was stuck in my throat, it wouldn't just come out.

"You know the Khushi I fell in love with would always tell me things on my face, quite honestly I don't like this Khushi who can't speak for herself." He said as he stood up and walked towards the window, looking outside.

"I can't get engaged to you Rahat." I finally said it. I wish I could look at him though, I just needed to see the expressions on his face.

"Go on, I'm listening." He said.

Damn it! Why was this so difficult?

"I am sorry Rahat, I know this is going to hurt you so much, and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I was just stupid, I made so many horrible decisions and there's no excuse for what I did, I shouldn't have just agreed to be with you, you were even ready to let me go, I just thought I could do this but I can't." I said.

"Why not Khushi?" He asked, his voice sounded so stiff.

"I... I can't Rahat."

"Why not? Why hide it from me Khushi? Tell me, be the Khushi that Arnav hired for this job, be the Khushi that says whatever is in her mind, be the Khushi that wasn't scared of Rahat Raizada." He finally turned to look at me, his eyes were so red, it was painful, he seemed angry right now, not even sad, just angry, angry that I was speaking.

Since when did Rahat change so much, I just knew him to be the bad boy who maybe fell in love with me and couldn't stop trying to force me to date him, what happened then?

"Because I don't love you Rahat, you might be the bad boy, every girl's type of a guy but bad boy isn't my type, it hasn't ever been. This isn't a romance novel or a movie where the girl ends up falling for the bad boy and let the good guy go, and if it is, I am not the girl that would fall for the bad boy.

My type is a good guy, a mature guy, a guy that acts responsible, a guy that respects girls, not just girls but everyone, a guy that believes in true love, a guy like... Arnav. I love him Rahat, I Love Arnav." Yes, I finally said it, this was exactly me, I always spoke my heart out, and I couldn't tell you how proud I was to have myself behaving like the actual me.

I looked at Rahat and realized I might have been harsh, I dint want to hurt him, I was just frustrated with bottling up my feelings and it just came out, but he dint seem mad anymore, wait he was crying! No!

"Why dint you tell me that earlier Khushi? Dint you think I would understand?" He asked.

"But you knew from before dint you? That's why you knew what I was going to say to you. How did you find out?" I asked, it was clear, I mean he must have known that's why he was even asking me yesterday but I couldn't say anything.

"That day when we came your place to finalize the engagement. I mean I should have seen it way earlier but I guess I was just stupid and proud of myself knowing you will fall for me, I mean who doesn't fall for Rahat Raizada right? I should have realized Arnav was the one for you, all along.

But as they say, better late than never, that day I could feel it, the way you two looked at each other, I just knew there was something, but I had to be sure, so the ice cream date at night.

I purposely left you two alone, I kept on looking at you and believe me, I could see what neither of you could see. That day, when Arnav secretly exchanged your ice cream cones thinking no one saw, I saw it Khushi, and it confirmed everything, I just needed a confirmation from your side, and I got it when I saw you yesterday, how you looked at him when he was with Tina." Rahat said as he wiped off his tears and tried to smile.

"Do me a favor will you?" He said before I could say anything. According to what he was saying, he was implying that Arnav felt for me what I felt for him, was that even possible? I mean wasn't he with Tina? I was confused.

"Sure." I nodded.

"I just remembered I had a mail to send urgently, go to bro's room you'll find the laptop, and the mail in the drafts, will you send it for me?"

I nodded in confusion, I mean here we were having a serious discussion, couldn't the mail wait? Anyway I did as he said, I rushed out of his room, ignoring Arohi who kept calling out my name, I wanted to send the mail quickly and get back to finish the talk with him.

I headed to Arnav's room, like he said the laptop was there, gladly it was on so I wasn't going to have to wait for it to turn on, I quickly opened the mail and checked the draft, there was only one. I opened it and it had an attachment, it was a video with a title 'watch me.' Was I supposed to watch it or send it? Maybe the watch me was for the person it was supposed to be sent to?

Curiously enough, I decided to watch it, if Rahat dint want me to watch it, he would have sent the mail himself anyway, I'm sure there was no big secret.

Once I played the clip, I was surprised, it was a video clip of the masquerade ball, the time when a stranger had kissed me, oh my God, was I going to get to see who it was finally?

A few moments into it and I saw Arnav and I dancing together, I remember how he was dressed that night and then the next moment I saw him bend forward and kiss me.

I wasn't shocked, when the kiss happened I expected it to be him, I wanted it to be him and now that I had found out it was actually him that kissed me, I was surprised but I was happy too.

Arnav was the one that kissed me that night, no wonder it felt that way, it came from a guy I loved, and if he kissed me, did it mean that he felt the same for me?