ARNAV

Yeh Lamha bhi, guzar jayega... Yeh dard, seene me hi dab jayega...
Yeh baatein adhoori rehjayegi... tum aur me adhoore rehjayenge...

"Calm down Arnav, calm down." I told myself as I inhaled deep long breaths, until today I had just seen Khushi and Rahat argue or talk like normal people, it was the first time I was seeing them together, like touching each other, sharing a hug and I swear I never knew it could hurt this much.

I was trying really hard, but the pain of losing her was too much, too difficult to handle, I dint even realize, but all over a sudden a tear dropped down my eye, making me realize how weak I was and no matter how strong I acted, seeing her with someone else was going to tear me apart.

Why couldn't she have been mine? Why couldn't she fall in love with me? Because I was a bad boy like Rahat and girls usually liked such kind of guys? I really wish she had fallen for me, I really did.

Kaash aisa bhi hota... tum mere hote...
me tumhara hota... to yeh ghum na hote...

"Bro." Rahat came in front of me suddenly, I dint even have time to wipe off the tears.

"What happened? Why are your eyes moist, bro?" He looked at me worriedly.

"Relax Rahat, this are tears of happiness, my little brother is finally going to settle, I've always wished for that you know." I faked a smile, I hope he was going to believe me, the last thing I wanted was for him to get an idea of what I felt for Khushi, I knew if he ever found out about my feelings, he would step back from this, he wouldn't get engaged to her which wasn't the right thing because no matter what we both wanted, the choice was Khushi's and she had chosen him.

"You sure?"

"Yup." I nodded and smiled more trying to make myself sound believable, just then I heard mom call Rahat so he excused himself.

"Arnav." I heard Khushi call out my name, I always loved how she mentioned my name, I loved hearing her say my name, she made it sound so beautiful. Okay Arnav stop this, stop feeling this way about her, she's going to get engaged to Rahat, all you have to do is look at her as your brother's wife and nothing else.

"Khushi." I smiled brightly as I turned to look at her, she looked worried, I had no idea why.

"I am scared Arnav." She looked like she was about to cry, I moved closer to her trying to make her feel better.

"Don't be Khushi... I know it's a big decision and I know how you always wanted to build your career, but just so you know, no one in our family is going to stop you from it, we will support you always.

And as far as Rahat is concerned, I'm sure you know him better by now, he might be stupid sometimes but I'm sure he would keep you happy so you don't have to be scared about anything okay?"

"If you say so."

"Great, I'll see you tomorrow, we'll start planning for the engagement, I promise I will make it perfect, just the way you want it, so you don't have to worry about a thing okay?"

"Can I ask a question?"

"Sure."

"Why are you doing so much for me? I mean even planning the engagement and all?"

"Let's just say it's my way of thanking you, Rahat has become a better person because of you and I'll do anything to make you happy." I smiled, she nodded and then we both walked back to the hall where everyone was gathered.

*****

Once I arrived back home, I headed back to my room and shut myself inside, I quickly played the video the photographer had left earlier so I could see if the footage of me kissing Khushi was there.

I plugged the flash drive to my laptop and sat on my bed as I played the footage patiently, I wasn't going to forward it because I dint want to risk missing out on any small detail.

Every time Khushi showed up in the video, my heart skipped a beat. She was the perfect girl I'd ever met, how could I have not fallen for her?

And then there it was, our first kiss, captured so beautifully in the video, it looked like I was watching a movie, the camera was focused on us two only, everything else was blur or out of focus, it was just her and me.

I could see how she shivered when I ran my fingers on her hand, giving her the tickly feeling, and then I moved closer and claimed her lips. It was evident she was going to push me away, but when I kissed her, she dint, instead she kissed me back.

This was confusion, if she was with Rahat, why would she kiss me? Okay she dint know it was me, but why would she allow a stranger to kiss her? Or maybe she thought it was Rahat that's why she let it happen?

Yeah it made sense, maybe she did think it was Rahat.

I pressed the pause button and for a moment I just stared at the picture in front of me, of how my lips were on hers, I swear it was the most beautiful picture.

All I wanted to do at this moment was grab her and kiss her again.

Damn You Arnav! She's going to get engaged to your brother, you can't think that way about her, it's wrong, it's completely wrong.

I couldn't do this to Rahat, he was my brother, I loved him, I couldn't look at the girl he was supposed to get married to like this, it was completely wrong!

"Bro!" Rahat startled me as he walked straight into my room, I thought I had locked the room? Maybe I just shut the door in a hurry and forgot to lock it.

"Stand up, we're going somewhere." He said, I knew he would come closer to me if I dint stand up immediately and if he came closer he might see the picture which I dint want him to see so I stood up and rushed towards him so he wouldn't come anywhere near the laptop.

"Don't you think it's a little bit late? Where are we going?" I asked, I dint even shut the laptop, God, what was I supposed to do, I just hoped no one would see it.

"Just come." Rahat looked at me in a suspicious way, I had to stop behaving so suspicious otherwise he would notice something.

I followed him as we started heading downstairs.

"Shit, I dint get the keys, go wait for me outside I'll be back in a minute." Rahat said as he rushed towards his room while I rushed back to my room and just folded my laptop so in case anyone came to my room they wouldn't notice it.

"I told you to wait for me in the parking, what are you doing here?" Rahat asked.

"I just forgot to shut the laptop."

"Okay whatever, now let's go... I'm so excited." He said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me along. Once we were inside the car, he started driving and I had no idea where we were going.

A short driver later, we were at an ice cream parlor, I think my brother had gone crazy or had forgotten that we were famous, showing up at a random ice cream parlor was going to gather a lot of people.

"Don't worry, I've made all the arrangements, no one is allows around here today." Rahat smirked as he stepped out, I dint get it, what was he up to? Why were we at an ice cream parlor?

Out of nowhere another car came and I saw Khushi come out of it followed by her brother Kabir and it started making sense.

"I just thought we could do something together tonight, because I'm so happy." She smiled.

"Hi." Khushi greeted us.

"So where do you want to sit, inside or outside?" Rahat asked.

"The weather's great, let's sit out?" Khushi suggested.

"Sure, sit here with bro, meanwhile Kabir and I will go get us some ice cream." Rahat smiled as he headed inside followed by Kabir as Khushi and I stood beside each other awkwardly.

"Who thought Rahat could do things like this." Khushi said.

"He would go to any extent to make you happy Khushi." I smiled at her and just then Kabir walked towards us holding two cones, he handed both of us each and headed back inside.

We both started eating our ice cream in silence, I had never thought that there would come a time when I would feel awkward around Khushi, but guess what, here it was. I looked at her and she was struggling with her hair, the wind was strong today so her hair kept coming on her face every now and then.

"Give me your cone I'll hold it, tie your hair." I suggested. She nodded as she handed it to me and started finding a hair tie in her bag while I stared at the cones, and let's say this was the stupidest thing I'd have ever done. I interchanged them and when she was done tying her hair, I gave her mine and ate hers.

Maybe because I knew this was the last time I was going to look at her as the girl I loved, from tomorrow onwards, I had to look at her as the girl that was going to be my brother's fiancé.