KHUSHI

I wasn't the one to usually make stupid decisions, I mean my little brother Kabir was the ceo of stupid decisions, but I guess I gave him competition by making such a decision.

Who in their right mind would decide to get engaged to a guy they don't even like much just so they can forget the one they like? Me, I am the stupid person.

Until I met Arnav, I had no idea what love was like, what it felt like or how people were supposed to act about it. All I knew was studies and career and I was a hundred percent sure when it came to those, I never made any stupid decisions.

Right now, I had no idea what had gotten into me or why at the first place I actually even agreed to be with Rahat, I guess while trying to get a hint of Arnav's feelings I ended up trapping myself in something I shouldn't have. Well my mother obviously dint think that way, for her, Rahat was the perfect son-in-law she could ever have and since I told her that Arnav would be coming with his family in the evening, she was over excited about it.

I always had a pretty clear plan, study hard, work harder and become successful, love was never planned, it came out of nowhere and now all I could feel was trapped, I wouldn't blame anyone for this situation though, I had put myself into this, I agreed to get engaged to Rahat hoping I'd get to see Arnav jealous and finally know what he feels for me, which I did.

I learnt that he has no feelings for me and now I was going to get engaged to Rahat. Holy Shit!

"Why aren't you dressed?" Mom asked as she walked inside my room.

"You mean why am I not wearing a saree or stuff? Please mom all that happens in the movies." I shrugged.

"I dint mean that way Khushi, can you just change into better clothes and not your pajamas?"

"Sure mom, it won't take me ages, I'll change later."

"I don't get what's going on in your mind but we'll talk about that later, right now I have to make preparations, you better be ready on time." She gave me a serious look and then walked away leaving me alone in the misery I had put myself in.

Can I just rewind my life back to the point where Arohi convinced me to go for the interview please? So I can go back to being me, not the stupid person I had become who was making such huge decisions of her life very stupidly.

Seriously, what was wrong with me?

*****

I heard a knock at the door of my room, I was expecting it to be mom again but when the door open, quite surprisingly it was Rahat. He was dressed in a navy suit with white shirt, his hair was styled so perfectly and damn he did look hot.

"Don't worry, I asked your mother if I could talk to you." He laughed.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked.

"You. You know you are such a confusing woman. I mean all this days I was chasing you, trying to win your trust, trying to show you how much I love you but you just wouldn't give in and then finally when I realize that I've been way out of line trying to force you for things and actually stepped back, you agreed to get engaged to me. Why?" He folded his arms and looked at me keenly.

"I talked to Arnav, he thinks you can keep me happy." I sighed.

"So that's it, that is the reason you agreed for this?"

"Isn't that what you wanted Rahat? For me to be with you? Here I am, so why are you questioning things?" I asked. This guy was confusing, when I wanted him to leave me alone he wouldn't and now when I agreed for the engagement he was questioning it.

"Did Arnav say something to you? Did he blackmail you in any way? Not that he would ever do that but he loves me so much, I know he can do stuff to see me happy." Rahat asked.

"What? No! I just had a good talk with him and he convinced me that you are the guy for me so yeah, that's it. Now would you go out? It's weird for both of us to be alone in this room for so long."

"Fine, I'm waiting outside." He shrugged as he headed out. I felt so trapped but I dint even know what to do, my decisions had brought me here. So I had decided from today onwards, I wasn't going to make any decisions, I'd just accept what came along instead of making another stupid decision.

I looked at myself one last time in the mirror as I headed out of my room and to the hall, Arnav and Rahat were seated there with their parents and mom was busy engrossed in a conversation with them.

My eyes stopped on Arnav and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't look away from him. It was painful that he was seated here with a proposal for me, only that it wasn't for himself but for Rahat. Why did destiny play such cruel games?

Who am I blaming? This are the results of my decisions, destiny clearly has nothing to do with this.

"Come Khushi sit." Mom tapped to the empty space next to her, I smiled and walked towards her as I settled down beside her and once again my eyes were on Arnav.

For the next few moments, everything seemed to have faded away, all I could see and hear was Arnav, how he was talking, how he kept brushing his fingers over his hair every now and then, how anytime he would look at me, he would just blink his eyes and look away trying to avoid looking at me.

How I wish he felt for me the same way I felt for him.

Yeh lamha bhi, guzar jayega... yeh dard, seene me hi dab jayega...
Yeh baatein adhoori reh jayegi... tum aur mein, adhoore reh jayenge...
Kaash aisa bhi hota, tum mere hote, mein tumhara hota to yeh ghum na hote...

"Khushi." Mom shook me.

"Yeah?" I looked at her in confusion, it seemed like I had completely zoned out so I dint even know what was going on, all I could think of and see was Arnav, only Arnav and it was heartbreaking that I was seated here to finalize my engagement to Rahat.

"Are you okay with the date?" Mom asked.

"Yeah sure." I nodded, I dint want to look like an idiot who dint know what discussion was going around so I just agreed with whatever she said.

"Great then, I promised Khushi I'll make all the preparations, so I should start immediately." Arnav smiled, it dint look like a genuine smile though, or maybe it was just me thinking useless stuff in my mind.

"What's the rush?" I asked.

"It's two days from now, if I don't rush when will I be done? I expect you to be home tomorrow morning usual time, you won't work for us but you will work with me, tell me everything you like, everything you've dreamt of, we'll sit together and make a list, I'll plan the perfect engagement for you." Arnav said.

I looked at him in surprise, two day from now? Why did they decide on that date? Well is I wasn't staring at Arnav and lost into him I'd know why, and I so stupidly agreed for it, great Khushi! I was officially stupid, there was no other word that could describe me better right now.

"Khushi go get the sweets I had left in the kitchen." Mom said to me, I nodded as I stood up.

"I'll help." Arnav said as he came with me to the kitchen, right now all I wanted to do was go to my room, lock myself inside and cry. All this was too painful, why was I even pushing myself into this?

I still had time, I could still say no for the engagement, I could stop being stupid, just because Arnav dint have feelings for me dint mean I had to get engaged to his brother, what was I even trying to prove?

Jeez why was I so confused, why dint I know what to do and what not to do. Someone kill me already!

I looked around trying to find the sweets mom had sent me to get but I couldn't even find them.

I saw Arnav walk towards my left as he picked up a box of sweets, it was right in front of me yet I couldn't see it.

"I'll take it." I said as I tried to take it from him.

"No it's okay, I can take it too Khushi." He said, the both of us kept on holding on to the box arguing about who will take it. Right now it wasn't even about the box, I just wanted to stand here, look into his eyes.

"Why don't you look happy Khushi, your engagement with Rahat has been finalized now, you should be happy." He asked as he stepped a bit closer and looked me into the eyes.

I dint want him to be this close to me, because it was doing something to my heart, it was giving me goosebumps, I wanted to pull him into a hug and break down, I wanted to tell him that I wasn't happy because he was the one I wanted to get engaged to, not his brother.

"Wow, if someone looks at you two like this, they would think you are deeply and madly in love with each other." Rahat said as he walked towards us.

Arnav and I looked at each other awkwardly then took a step backwards, Rahat stood beside me as he put his arm around my shoulder and looked at me.

"Shouldn't I be fed this sweets first? That too by you? We are getting engaged in two days Khushi how exciting is that huh?" He seemed so happy, I wished I could be as happy as him.

"I'm waiting." He said as he opened his mouth wide open. I shrugged and opened the box, took out a piece and fed it to him, he took a bite and smiled at me again.

"It tastes better when it's you feeding me." He smirked.

"You are such a flirt." I rolled my eyes as I tried to walk away, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back as I crashed on his chest, my first instinct was to look at Arnav, I don't know why.

"I'll let you lovebirds alone but be quick with your romance." He smiled as he walked away. Dint any of this make even a bit difference to him? Oh Khushi, how long will you hope? I mean I knew very well that he was with Tina yet I was hoping that he was going to have feelings for me, I had to stop hoping, nothing like that was ever going to happen.

"Strange." I heard Rahat say, diverting my mind from Arnav I looked at him.

"What's strange?"

"This feelings I have for you. All I want to do is hold you tight in my arms and shout to the world that you are going to be mine, officially. Can I hug you Khushi?" He asked, I opened my eyes wide and stared at him in surprise, he was asking for permission?

"Is Rahat Raizada asking for permission to hug me? I'm shocked." I laughed.

"Well it's not like I don't ask for permission, just that the girls I have been gave me the permission before I even asked for it but you, I don't know how to act around you, you kind of scare me, what if I end up offending you, so I better not take chances." He laughed.

"Impressive."

"So can I... hug you please?" He pouted like a baby.

"Okay sure." I nodded, it was just a hug and now that I had agreed to get engaged to him, I had to learn how to be comfortable around him.

He immediately wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Oh Khushi, I love you so much." He said, I couldn't say it back because I dint feel that way, even this hug, it dint make me feel a thing. Why was I doing this to him and me again?

I saw Arnav walking back towards the kitchen but he stopped at the door when he saw us hugging and turned around immediately.