KHUSHI

I sat on my bed all dressed up and ready to go for the date with Rahat, yet I couldn't stop thinking about Arnav. Yesterday when he told me that I was just like all those other girls, I felt so hurt, that he could think that way about me, and I was also mad but then there was no point of being mad at someone who wasn't related to me anyhow right? No wonder I forgave him easily.

But those words, were still there, replaying themselves in my mind and haunting me, I just dint like that he could think that way about me.

"Enough Khushi!" I said to myself as I stood up. I was done wondering about him, I was done caring why and what he thought of me, all I wanted was to stop feeling whatever I was feeling for him, and if dating Rahat was going to help me with that I was definitely going to do it.

I looked at my phone, it was still early, I don't know why I got ready so early, there were still fifteen minutes left, Rahat had told me he would pick me up at eight o'clock sharp, so all I could do was to wait for him.

As I waited for him, I remembered about the kiss that happened at the masquerade ball, and I really wished I could find out who kissed me. At first I was quite sure it was Arnav, but then after learning about him and Tina, I don't think he would do that.

Maybe Rahat did it? He was very clear about his liking towards me. But how was I supposed to find that out?

Or maybe it was just a stranger who saw me and kissed me and disappeared, why would anyone do that though? I really wanted to know who did it but there was no way of finding out.

I heard the sound of the car hooting outside the house, so I got out of my room, I found mom at the door already talking to Rahat.

"Don't worry aunty, I'll bring her back home on time." Rahat said to mom.

"You can bring her late too, I'm just glad that she agreed to be with you. I can't wait for you both to get married already." Mom said. Wasn't she took over excited for this?

"I'm sure that too would happen soon." Rahat smirked as he looked at me, I rolled my eyes and walked out, he unlocked the car as we both got inside.

I was sort of expecting Rahat to open the door for me, but then I remembered he was the bad boy kind of a guy who clearly dint believe in all this cheesy romantic stuff.

"So where are we going?" I asked.

"To have dinner." He said, I nodded as I looked out through the window, the drive wasn't really long but neither of us spoke anything until we arrived at the hotel.

We both stepped out after parking the car and headed inside where he had a table booked for us. Once we were settled we both picked up the menu and started deciding what to eat. All this while I could just think of how things were different with Rahat and with Arnav.

Arnav had made a lot of effort just for a casual dinner with me, and Rahat hadn't made any for an actual date with me. I was clearly the old fashioned kind of a girl, I liked effort more than anything, which Rahat dint seem to be putting at all.

Once we gave out the order, a few girls approached Rahat, they were basically his fans and they could stop gushing about him, and taking pictures with him. Once they were done they finally left us alone.

"You see how lucky you are? I mean all this girls want to be with me, but I fell for you." He smirked.

"Oh I feel very lucky." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Why do I have a feeling that you still don't trust me Khushi? I mean you're behaving very strange with me. When you're at my home for work you're always very normal with me, even yesterday we had so much fun, we were actually very good friends, but then in a situation like this you behave as if you don't trust me at all." Rahat asked.

"Because I really don't. I mean all this you're doing somehow makes me want to believe that you are genuine but I don't know, a part of me just doesn't want to." I sighed.

Being friends with Rahat was fine, playing all those childish games with him was great, but when it came to the thought of being involved with him romantically, it just sounded scary and at that moment, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't trust him.

"So tell me, what do you want me to do for you to trust me Khushi. I even sand a song for you at the concert, I'm really trying hard. Have you even seen me fooling around with any other girl off late?"

"I know Rahat, it's not like I don't want to trust you, I just can't."

"And all I want is your trust Khushi, and your love. I mean it when I say I love you." he looked at me very seriously.

"Should I tell the whole world about us? Should I post pictures with you on social media and caption it in a way that everyone should know we are together? Or should I get engaged to you so you can start trusting me?" He asked.

"I don't know, actually get engaged to me so I can believe it." I laughed.

"Okay fine, I'll talk to mom and dad and we'll get engaged very soon." He said.

"What? Rahat I was joking."

"But I wasn't, I'm ready to get engaged to you Khushi."

"But I am not. I was just joking Rahat. And getting engaged isn't a joke, it's something big, it comes with a lot of responsibilities and it happens when two people really love each other. Right now I can't even bring myself to really like you, let alone love you."

"And you would never really like me if you don't trust me, and earning your trust is by making this official, I am ready for it Khushi, are you?"

"This was supposed to be our first date, please don't ruin it." I said nervously. I mean going on dates with Rahat and trying to get over my feelings for Arnav was another thing but getting engaged to him when I dint really feel for him wasn't something that I wanted to do.

"I am just trying to make you trust me Khushi. It's not marriage, just an engagement, if after some time you feel like you can't love me at all, we can break it off, but at least if we get engaged you'll trust me enough and maybe actually put an effort and try to like me." Rahat said.

Why couldn't he get it, getting engaged was a big step, it wasn't like dating and then breaking up, this was something different? Before I could try to explain it to him though, my eyes fell on Arnav who just walked in with Tina, she was holding his arm proudly and walking beside her. The both got a table and settled down and seeing Arnav with Tina just created some kind of a rage inside my heart.

I dint like seeing them together, but well I couldn't do anything about it. Although I couldn't stop wondering, if Arnav was here on a date with Tina, why dint he do it privately? I mean when we both went for dinner, he made sure we had privacy, he did it somewhere where we wouldn't be disturbed, if he made so much effort for just a casual dinner, why dint he do it for a date?

I couldn't take my eyes off him no matter how hard I tried to look away, I would just end up looking at him.

I saw Tina place her hand on his and she said something to him, to which Arnav smiled back very brightly, I hated that!

Jeez Khushi! Calm down. You are not his girlfriend, you can't act like a jealous girlfriend here. I wish there was a way in which I could turn off whatever I felt for Arnav, I would have surely turned all my feelings off.

I just dint want to feel this way for him knowing that he was with Tina, I had to control my feelings, I had to stop them from growing and I had to do anything and everything it was going to take to do it.

"How about for now we just date? Then when I feel like I'm ready we will get engaged." I said to Rahat.

"If that's what you want, I'm not pressurizing you." He looked at me in confusion.

"Don't worry, I'm sure one day I'll be ready and we will get engaged, just not now."

"I hope so, now you deserve a hug for that." Rahat said excitedly as he stood up and rushed to hug me.

Okay I knew it was a stupid decision, and I wasn't the kind of a person to make stupid decisions. I mean I was this strong girl who wanted to study, build her own career and here I was agreeing to get engaged to Rahat, I mean not that we were getting engaged now, but I had made a sort of a promise which I shouldn't have. What the hell was I really thinking?

Since I met Arnav, a lot about me had changed, the old me wouldn't have ever made such a stupid decision, but the new me that was jealous of Arnav and Tina was ready to do anything to stop feeling this way even if it meant getting engaged to Rahat someday in the future. Great Khushi! Now you're going to regret this so much.