WARNING: includes self harm and depression.
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Changbin always felt he wasn't good enough and seeing other people he thought he was useless. When he joined Stray Kids he started to believe he is good but after they debuted people started criticising Changbin for his looks and never realised how talented he is. Changbin was being self conscious. He was lacking in dance due to the stress of the lyrics. He couldn't keep up with anything. He had found another way to get rid of his stress which was cutting.

Changbin's POV
I couldn't stop crying. I am in my studio trying to write lyrics but my useless self can't think of anything. I pulled my hair in frustration. Why did this always happen. The thought in my head were getting louder.
'Useless'
'Ugly'
'Waste of space'
All of these words were spinning around my head. I slammed my head on the desk wanting them to stop but it didn't. It got louder.
I stumbled over to the bathroom looking for the razor. I needed it. I grabbed the razor and slide it across my skin feeling the sting. I watched my blood dripping from my wrist. I cut my wrist a few more times. My eyes were blurry from the tears and couldn't see how many cuts I did. I felt dizzy as I cut more into both of my wrist. I drop the razor on the floor and watched the way blood would drip out of the cuts. I deserved it. I suddenly heard knocking at the door. I tried getting up I couldn't I was scared. The members are going to think I am a freak. I tried so hard to get up but I wasn't able too. Tears started pouring out.
"Changbin hyung are you ok?" I heard someone say. I crawled out the bathroom. The knocking got louder.
"Hyung are you ok?" I heard.
My vision started to get blurry and I collapsed on the floor.
"Hyung I am going to open the door."
I tried saying something but nothing came out.
The door open and I saw Felix.
"Hyung" Felix said. I felt his hands cup my face.
"Hyung every thing is going to be fine ok. Keep your eyes open for me." Felix said.
Felix caressed my face while calling someone.
"Chan Hyung can you come to C-changbins studio p-please." Felix stuttered.
He end the call and looked at me.
'Your a burden'
I vigorously shook my head. More tears spilled down my face.
'Felix is disappointed with you'
My arms felt numb.
Felix got some cloth and tied it around my arms to stop the blood.
I tried moving but I couldn't.
"L-lix I-I am s-sorry"
"Binnie it's fine I am not mad. How about I take you home ok." Felix said.
I nodded my head and he lifted me and carried me out my studio and walked to the dorms.
I had difficulty breathing and I was trying to keep my eyes open.
"Felix" I whisper. " I can't"
"Baby we are nearly home just wait." Felix said not realising that he said baby.
My cheeks went red. My eyes started closing and I went limp.

Felix's POV
I couldn't believe what I saw in Changbin's studio. I still can't forget the image of Changbins arms cover with blood and his face covered with tears and pain. I heard changbin saying Felix I can't. I quickly tried to get home as I couldn't wait for Chan to come.
"Baby we are nearly home just wait." I said trying to keep him up. After a few minutes I felt him go limp. I quickly ran over to the dorms and knocked the door hard. Woojin had opened the door and I immediately ran over to my room. I placed him on the bed and saw the cloth covered with blood. Woojin rushed in and saw Changbin. Woojin started crying. I quickly got the first aid kit and saw Chan who was holding on to Woojin. I opened the box and took out the things I need. I pulled the cloth of Changbin's arms and took a wet towel to clean the cuts. After that I wrapped the bandage around both of his wrist. I looked at Changbin's face that showed pain.
"I-is he o-ok?" Woojin asked.
"Yeah baby his fine don't worry he will wake up soon" Chan said with his soothing voice. Woojin cling onto Chan.
"It's my fault" Woojin sobbed.
"No kitten it's not your fault it's no one's" Chan said calmly.
"No it is. I should of realised he was hurting." He spoke into Chan's hoodie.
"Woojin hyung none of us realised so it is also our fault but it's fine I will make sure to make him happy." I said. I looked at Chan and he nodded. Chan took Woojin into their room.
I close the door and sat on the bed beside changbin. I caressed his cheek. If only I realised earlier that he is hurting this wouldn't of happened. I laid down next to him and pulled him closer. After a few minutes I fell asleep looking at Changbin.
~time skip~
I felt someone grabbing my shirt and heard soft whimpers. I immediately opened my eyes and looked at the source of the sound. I sat up and wiped the slow tears that were falling down Changbins face.
"Binnie hyung it's fine." I said.
"S-sorry." Changbin stuttered. I pulled him into a hug and whispered into his ear.
"Hyung everything is going to be alright I promise."
I kissed his forehead and looked at him and saw his glossy eyes staring at me with his tinted cheeks.
"Lix why are you doing this to me?" Changbin asked.
"What"
"Why are you acting like this? why are you calling me baby? Why did you kiss my forehead? Why are you making me think that you like me?" Changbin sobbed.
Huh I am confused. Does he like me?
I pulled Changbin on my lap and said,
"I love you. You may think I am joking right now but I have loved you for a long time. I will do anything to make you happy again so if you like me...., Would you like to be my boyfriend?"
Changbin stares at me for a minute and said.
"How could you like me. I am ugly and useless. I don't deserve you."
" I don't deserve you. You deserve the world." I said. Changbin looked down and whispered a quiet yes. I smiled and pushed his face up and leaned in and kissed his puffy lips.
"Baby I love you."
"I love you tooo"
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A/n ~ I hope you enjoyed this. Thank you for 40 followers. I really appreciate it. Love you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ( I am listening to She's In The Rain that song is beautiful.)
~ 🐿