I'm at a college in America. It is my second year and I have only a few friends since it is hard to balance the tasks of school and a social life, apart from actually having a life to live, and a job.

I have 3 close friends. My best friend, Hani, met me at the cafe I work at and we became fast friends, sometimes spending hours talking over coffee. Jihyo, my roommate is my other friend. She does theatre things with me and we constantly sing loudly in our room, sometimes getting complaints from other students in our dorm.

Finally... there is Jaebum. My best guy friend. He and I have known each other for 2 years, and we are constantly together. The thing is, I have a big crush on him, but I don't know who he likes, because the only thing he won't tell me, is who his crush is.

That changed one day though, as we were walking together on the day before Christmas, in the cold crisp evening.

"Y/n... uhm... I have something to tell you..." Jaebum began, shyly rubbing the back of his neck as he turned to look at me. I smiled at his cute flustered action and eagerly awaited his news.

"Uh... well... there is this guy..." He said looking into my eyes. His cheeks were pink, but I thought it was probably the cold. His pale face with the slight blush looked like something out of a movie, it was so perfect. As he spoke, his words finally sunk in.

"Jaebum... are you... gay? Are you coming out?" I asked softly, internally hoping it wasn't true, though I would accept him anyways. However, his eyes widened and his face turned red at my words.

"N-no!" He exclaimed, a surprised scowl lighting up his beautiful features as he shook his head desperately. He gave an awkward chuckle, making heat rush to my face in embarrassment from wrongly assuming what he was going to say.

"I wanted to tell you that there is this guy who has a huge crush on you!" He said, an exasperated look appearing on his face. I chuckled awkwardly at first, the embarrassed feeling at my assumption still making my cheeks feel warmer, before what he said hit me.

"Someone has a crush... on ME?" I yelled, excitement filling me, my crush on the man in front of me momentarily forgotten. No one had ever had a crush on me, so I was astounded that suddenly someone finally did.

"Yeah, he's a good friend of mine, and I just found out." Jaebum said awkwardly. He looked at the ground as he spoke, making me wonder why he was acting this way, though his small fidgets were adorable. I began to feel all warm inside, despite the cold day, but I shook my head and returned back to the conversation at hand.

"Well, that's wonderful Jaebum-ah, but who is it?" I asked, pausing and looking earnestly at Jaebum. He looked into my eyes and smiled a bit, a far away look coming into his eyes before he chuckled and blinked a few times.

"I am not at liberty to say. You'll have to wait Y/n." Teasingly, he poked my nose, making me scrunch my face up. I crossed my arms and pouted.

"Yah! That's not fair! You can't just tell me something like that and expect me to be fine!" I yelled, throwing my hands up. He smirked, my frustration making him cocky. He gave me a small smirk and drew a little closer.

"Too bad." He teased. I felt his warm breath on my cold cheeks, and his closeness made me flustered.

"W-Well... what is he like?" I asked, hoping I could guess based on the description, and attempt to hide the fact that my heart was pounding at his closeness. To my disappointment, he backed up and looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath of the crisp air. I watched him, my eyes taking in every detail about him. How his eyes looked especially beautiful this evening, the way his neck curved perfectly, the way his hair looked ruffled just right, and the way his lips slightly parted as he took another breath. He looked down at me, making me quickly advert my eyes.

"Uh... well... he is Korean, like me... he likes Kpop, like you. He isn't SUPER athletic, though he does work out and he likes to dance. Oh and he can sing and cook well too." Jaebum said, with a wink. Chuckling I nudged him.

"He sounds great so far... I guess I haven't met him though, because I don't know anyone like that."

"Oh... I think you met him once, but I could be wrong." He said, looking like he was thinking hard, but his eyes held a light that made me wonder if he was talking about himself. I shook it off though, too concerned as to who this person was and how I could not have known him or remembered him. Surely if he like K-pop then I'd know, since not a ton of guys at school actually liked it.

"Can you pleeeeease tell me?" I begged, folding my hands in a prayer like gesture. He shook his head and casually shrugged.

"Nope. He'll tell you when he's ready." He began walking again, the sky growing dark. I ran to catch up with his long strides, my mind still whirling with questions about this mysterious man.

"Fine. Tell me this. Is he cute? Is he cuddly? Does he like lots of hugs and kisses? Does he like cute couple things?" I said, spouting off questions, making Jaebum give me an affectionate nudge.

"Whoa Y/n..." He chuckled. "Uh... Yes he's cute... I guess. Yes he is very cuddly. Yes, he loves lots of hugs and kisses. And yes, he is into cute couple things, especially cooking together, watching movies and just spending time talking."

"Wow, you seem to know your friend really well, Jaebum..." I said, throwing him a side glance. His face was pinker than earlier, but again I passed that off as just the cold. There was no way that he could have feelings for me, but his eyes searched mine for a second longer before he spoke again.

"Yeah, we grew up together." He said simply, quickly shrugging it off and breaking the precious eye contact. I glanced at the ground, not really knowing what else to say. The idea of having a secret admirer was wonderful, but then I myself was a secret admirer and I had no idea who this person was. How in the world could I ever get over the person I had known for such a long time in order to like someone who I didn't even know?

"Oh, that's cool." I said, the awkwardness in me starting to set in. Jaebum nodded again looking up at the dark sky, before he stopped at my dorm building.

"Well... Merry Christmas Eve Y/n." He said, looking into my eyes and smiling with his eye smile. I smiled back, with a small blush, again mesmerised by his beautiful features. Jaebum stared a second longer, making me wish he'd lean in and kiss me, but instead he began to walk to his dorm. I watched him walk away, my heart filling with longing, before a chill shook me from my trance, and I begrudgingly went inside the building.

I walked into my room, dropping my keys on my table and then began to take off my thick layers of clothes. Thoughts whirled, but the one that stood out was about Jaebum.

'How can I ever get over him? This guy sounds great, but I want all those qualities for Jaebum. I want him to cuddle with me. I want him to hold me. I want him to wake me with kisses.'

I sighed and got into a warm shower, taking care to be quiet so I wouldn't wake my sleeping room mate. The water seemed to wash both the cold and the worried thoughts away as I quietly hummed a tune. I got out, keeping my mind blank so I could focus on sleeping, and not 2 seconds after my head hit the pillow, warm darkness wrapped around my consciousness, slipping me into a dreamless sleep.

>>>

The next morning I awoke with a start, the knowledge that it was Christmas making me smile and excitedly sit up. I immediately grabbed my phone to text Hani, but instead I saw I had two from her.

WoniHaniHani: Meet me outside your room at 10:30.

WoniHaniHani: And look nice.

I smiled. Of course she wanted me to dress up on Christmas.

I wondered where she was going that required me to look nice, since she hadn't mentioned or hinted at anything earlier this month. Normally she can't keep secrets well, so I was surprised that she had been able to keep whatever this was a secret.

Me: Alright, also, Merry Christmas!

I shot back before I turned off my phone and got out of my nice warm bed, wanting immediately to hop back in and snuggle in my blankets for an hour or two more. The feeling increased when I touched the cold floor with my bare feet. I noticed it was 10:00 so I only had half an hour to get ready.

I dressed in a warm dress, the long black sleeves covering all the way down to my wrists. The skirt was shorter, but I wore long black socks that went up past my knees.

I walked to the bathroom with my phone and turned on Awake (Christmas Version). As I was jamming, I did simple makeup, making sure to take care on my eyeliner.

"Y/n? Are you ready yet?" Hani called from outside my bathroom door. Her voice made me jump and I quickly turned off my music.

"Yes!" I called back, smoothing my dress and walking out. She looked me over, giving me a satisfied nod when she approved of how I looked. I smiled and she grabbed my arm, yanking me out the door. She led me outside before covering my eyes with a blindfold and linking her am with mine to guide me.

"Hani~ what is this for?" I asked tentatively, taking slow awkward steps. She ushered me along quickly, almost causing me to stumble multiple times. She didn't answer my question, instead falling silent as she led me up some stairs and into a building. I stumbled in and my footsteps echoed, giving me the impression I was in the college gym. Hani's hands left my arms and suddenly all was quiet. Nothing moved, no one spoke, and I began to panic.

"Jackson:

Hundreds of confessions without success,
I feel so unconfident should I just go back.
I say I'll confess for sure,
but it's pointless with no actions in the end  Can't keep my head up in front of you."

The sudden start of the song made me jump and try and look around, but with the blindfold on it was pointless.

"Jinyoung:

I'm in love with you, why are these words so hard
I keep hesitating to say over and over again.

Yugyeom:
Why is it so hard just to write a simple letter,
I keep writing and tearing it over and over again."

Jinyoung:

You may not feel the same way as I do
I may never see you again,
that's what I'm afraid of.

Yugyeom:

Don't have the courage to tell you                  With this song let me                                        open my heart to you."

Someone reached from behind me and pulled my blindfold off. My eyes were met with the college gym decorated entirely with Christmas decorations. A large christmas tree stood in the middle of the gym, decorated brightly, the star at the top twinkling as two of Jaebum's friends sang. Suddenly Jaebum himself walked out from behind it, the other guys happily dancing around as he held something behind his back.

"Jaebum:

I love you, baby I,
I love you (for a very long time)
I love you, baby I,
I love you (I do)"

Jaebum began singing, taking my hand in his as he did. I blushed and covered my mouth in surprise as he looked happily down at me, his voice making me melt despite the cold air I had been walking in moments ago. I didn't know what to do with myself other than watch the 6 guys dance around or look at Jaebum's awkward but handsome smile. Another of Jae's friends bounced over and interrupted Jae's gaze, pulling my attention away as well to watch him rap and dance.

"BamBam:

All day long I wait for your reply
I keep writing and erasing to make sure
there's no mistake in my words
I accidently say things that I don't mean
The dramatic lines
that I practiced in front of the mirror
Are all forgotten when I stand
in front of you, flustering me
My hands hesitate in front of yours"

I looked back at Jaebum to see a small blush on his own cheeks as we listened to the lyrics of the song. I inwardly was loving every moment but outwardly I had no idea what to do with myself. My heart was pounding and I felt all hot and blushy, and I could tell Jaebum was feeling similarly because his hand was getting warmer. I didn't know if I should move or talk or stay still or... well, I didn't have any clue what to do.

"Jinyoung:

My heartbeat sound getting louder,
you might hear it yeah
You may not feel the same way as I do

Yugyeom:

I may never see you again, that's what I'm afraid of.
Don't have the courage to tell you
With this song let me open my heart to you."

Jaebum pulled away and took the thing out from behind his back. It was a small piece of paper folded neatly. I wanted to open it but he shook his head to wait, before singing his line again, smiling and blushing the entire time. The words, however simple, were still sweet and conveyed exactly how I felt towards him, and how he felt for me.

"Jaebum:

I love you, baby I,
I love you (for a very long time)

Youngjae:
I love you, baby I,
I love you (I do)

Mark:

My heart beats like a DRUM
My arms just wait for the day to hug you tight
My calendar just waits for the day marked red
My confession just waits for my courage
Though I am still a timid fool
I hope this song I wrote for countless nights
Deliver my sincerity
Take one side of the earphone in your hand..."

Jaebum gestured for me to open the note and as I did, the music paused. I looked down and saw a small heart with the words "Would you be my girlfriend?" I looked up at him with a shocked expression and he just smirked before I looked down at it again in disbelief.

"Really?" I whispered, even my voice was unsure if this was actually real. When he didnt say anything at first I worried he was going to laugh and say it all was a joke. But instead, Jaebum chuckled and shook his head.

"Of course. There was no friend. Just me. And you saying yes would mean the world to me, because..." and the music turned on again.

"Shall we?

Jaebum:

I love you, baby I,
I love you (for a very long time)
I love you, baby I,
I love you (I do)"

The other 6 sprayed fake snow on us as he took me in his arms and hugged me. He felt so warm and I immediately wanted to just fall asleep there, not caring about anything else. But before I could say anything, he leaned close and kissed me. His lips were like marshmallows, soft and gentle with a warmth I immediatly fell in love with. My heart felt like it stopped and all I could sense was his lips on mine as his moved slowly to kiss deeper. My eyes closed and I relished the moment as long as it lasted, which of course seemed like hours, but I knew were only mere seconds.

"Does that help with your answer?" He asked as he pulled away, before looking at my wide eyes and beet red face. His breathing was slightly increased, and I could feel his heart pounding underneath where my hand rested on his chest.

"Yes... Yes it does." I said, my voice finally coming back, but only as a whisper as I tried to wrap my mind around what had just happened.

"Okay, because you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He said, a small, awkward chuckle emanating from his smiling mouth. The other guys around us laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Oh please, you wouldn't believe how much he talked about it!" The youngest looking one said, earning a playful glare from Jaebum.

"'Oh I wish she knew. I wish Christmas was closer. Agh can't I just do it now?' He never stopped." The youngest one mocked, pretending to pout like Jaebum. Jaebum looked like he wanted to go hit the younger, but he just rolled his eyes and turned to me.

"So?" He asked, his eyes searching mine desperately. I cleared my throat before taking a deep breath and kissing him again. After the kiss, I pulled away and looked at his shocked face.

"Does that answer your question?"

"Uhm... no I think I need another one just to be sure." He said cheekily, puckering his lips in hopes of receiving another. I pushed his lips away and laughed when he looked at me with a pout.

"Yes, Jaebum, I will be your girlfriend. I actually have liked you all along so it wasn't that hard to convince myself. If anything, you had me trying to convince myself to like your friend!" Jae chuckled, and shook his head.

"I should have known. You were always staring a little too long, or were always just there beside me, which is wonderful. I think that's why I fell in love with you. You've always been there, and you are such a beautiful person." He smiled, watching me look down and blush from his complements.

"Thank you Jae, this was really sweet and... I love you too." I said, hugging him once again.

"Anything for you. Now... how about we go out for lunch? I know a good place that sells crepes with lots of chocolate and whipped cream downtown." Jaebum said starting to walk with me to the gym door.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea!" I exclaimed, already almost tasting the chocolate in my mouth already as I imagined eating the thin french pancake. (for lack of better words to describe it)

"Hey! What are we gonna do?!" Called one of Jaebum's friends, who stood near the tree with the others. Jaebum turned around and grinned.

"You can clean everything up. Thanks for your help!" He said, and we both walked out of the gym laughing as the other 6 yelled their protests.

"Thank you again Jaebum... I'm really glad you confessed." I admitted, looking up into his brown eyes as we walked to his car.

"I don't think I could have waited any longer to be honest. Seeing you last night when it snowed, made me even surer that I wanted you to be mine." He said, giving me a small smile before poking my nose, making me scrunch it up. He chuckled and opened the door for me to get in.

"Well I'm glad you did. Now, let's get going! I want some chocolate crepes!" I exclaimed, causing Jaebum to roll his eyes and get in his side.

"Is that the only reason you said yes?" He chuckled, making me look over and smack his arm lightly.

"No! I really do like you!" I exclaimed, laughing as he rolled his eyes again.

"Uh huh... just checking." He said, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"Ah... but that is a bonus." I whispered, giggling.

____________________________________________________________________________

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Screaming continues for a long time*

I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN LIKE 8294874879387462938745 years!

IT IS TRASH AND CHRISTMAS THEMED BUT OH WELL AT LEAST IT'S PUBLISHED AND SORTA LONG!

So, yeah... here it is. Love you all!

Aluna💙

(This was from a while back... at Christmas...)