There are no such things as heroes and I believe that to the very depths of my core.

All too often, when we judge others, try to understand them, we get blinded by bias. We think it's so easy to judge another soul because we only use a black and white rubric to fit others' actions into a box. We have selected categories for good and bad.

I thought that system was fine. It worked. It got the job done.

But I have contemplated this narrative more times than I can count today and I've come to the conclusion that I think all human morals can mix into grey from black and white and become blurred sometimes. The guidelines of good and bad depend on every person, and to some, they are the same. To some, good is bad, and bad is good.

And with that logic, nothing I do matters or can matter. Everything is just perceived differently to everyone. It's all perspective who you kill or don't harm or stop or violently beat down or act with violence as a means to end. I'm no hero.

There are no such things as heroes. I don't care if I'm right or wrong. I just don't care about any of that. All I know is that the past has happened. It was my fault. It was full of too much commotion. It was filled with too much guilt, and I'm tired of guilt. I don't care if I'm forgiven, because my emotions will still haunt my dreams. All of the greyness from the human mind has scarred my soul forever.

I fly above the ocean and think about the kind of hero I have turned into. I stare at my reflection. My red cape is ripped and so is the 'S' symbol on my chest. Am I really Superman any more? The cape flaps wildly in the breeze as I fly faster.

I look away from my changing reflection and instead look ahead of me toward the majestic island of Themyscira. It's a very large island that stretches along the horizon farther and farther as I grow closer to it. As I get closer, I see the beauty of her home come to life just like Diana had always talked about. Luscious green plants have colorful flowers and huge mountain ranges cascade into the sky. Some of the clouds even circled the highest peak. I could never picture her home before, but am taken aback now as I imagine her life here. Her family hasn't been destroyed like mine.

******

Everything about this undiscovered world was something Clark envied. It was the perfect world.

Superman lowered himself onto the soft sand and almost collapsed to the ground from exhaustion. He hadn't gotten much sleep lately and food was a distant enemy. He couldn't sleep or eat without thinking about his friends that were long gone and somehow feel guilty.

Clark tried to calm himself before he stood up again, but he was so tired that his lungs could only manage to keep his breathing quick and shallow. He lifted his head up to gaze at the scenery, to try and ease his mind, though to his surprise there were a dozen Amazonian spears pointed at his face.

A tall woman with long brown braids lowered her spear while the others held their positions. She had freckles on her cheeks and her eyes sparkled with a golden hue. Her pale skin was flawless as she came face to face with Clark.

"Why are you here?" Her voice was low and demanding.

Clark raised his shoulders back and gave a gentle, tired smile. "I'm here too see, Hippolyta."

The brown haired girl smirked and laughed. "You know we don't see outsiders here. Especially male ones like yourself."

Clark looked at the sand and replied carefully, dropping his head. The Amazonians were not as gentle as they appeared to be. They were almost like the mythical sirens. Manipulative and strikingly gorgeous. Though, Diana was one of the few exceptions that were truly kind, intelligent, and thoughtful.

"I understand that," said Superman.

The warrior pointed her spear at Clark's throat. "Then leave."

"I'm here about Diana."

The spear got closer to Clark's neck and the brown haired girl's eyes flashed with intrigue. "What about her?"

"There was an attack."

"There always is." Her words were like venom as her fingers clenched the spear. Her knuckles were beginning to turn white.

"Diana was helping us and then," Clark made his turn red in hopes this would help him to be in control. Why not have some grey power if it meant getting him what he was hoping for? He stared into the girl's eyes, "they took her."

The warrior was clearly fascinated by his words, but at the same time, fearful of his broad shoulders and large muscles. Though she did not show direct fear, Clark could see it with tension buried in her body language.

She cleared her throat and lowered her spear. "What do they call you on the outside? They call me Lux."

"It doesn't matter."

"Well then, I guess I'll have to call you a fugitive." She snapped her fingers and began to walk into the nearby foliage. Clark could feel the points of spears poking him in the back. They ushered him to follow the brown haired girl they all called Lux. Slowly, Clarked pushed himself onto his feet and walked into the plants like Lux had done.

Clark walked briskly in order to catch up with Lux. She was used to traveling in the dense jungle surroundings, but Clark was not. The jungle seemed to have grown wildly from the last time Clark had come. The leaves on all the plants had become twice the size of his head, and vines were a struggle he had to dodge constantly. The greenery was everywhere as colorful flowers perched on bushes and trees. Clark had lost his focus when he ran into Lux from behind.

Lux stepped to the side to reveal Hippolyta standing at the edge of a cliff face. It was high enough to look over her whole kingdom.

Lux placed her spear in front of her and kneeled. The rest of the guards did the same. Clark slowly lowered himself into a kneel as well. He had to take care in telling Hippolyta. No one else was going to tell her, so he had to.

Lux cleared her throat. Hippolyta turned to face the group behind her. Her eyes went back and forth between Clark and Lux. Unlike Lux, Hippolyta's voice was smooth and delicate. It had a warm and trusting tone.

"Explain this to me, Lux."

Lux kept her kneel. "Your highness, this fugitive just landed on the beach. He said he was here for you."

Hippolyta raised an unwavering brow. "Did he now?" She clasped her hands in front of her and faced Clark. "Lux, leave him here."

"But your majesty-"

"I know what I am doing." Hippolyta waved a hand that shooed them all away. "Now tell me why you are here, Clark of Metropolis."

Clark stood up and crossed his arms. "It's about, Diana."

Hippolyta tried to keep her façade calm and still, but the pupils of her eyes were telling Clark that she was panicking and wanted immediate answers.

"What about her?" Her reply was quick.

"Do you know much about what happens on the mainland?"

"I try not to bother myself with the affairs of man, you know that."

"But do you know?" Clark was getting nervous the more he talked. He didn't want to admit Diana's death in the fight. The way she died. The way she was just a monster and nothing else.

Hippolyta lowered her voice. "Yes. Diana sent me a message about the recent attacks."

"And that's all they were for a while. A group calling themselves, the Complex of Heaven, just did little things like fires and robberies. We were never able to catch them, but a couple days ago they attacked us. They lured the League into a trap and wiped us out."

Hippolyta was trying to hide her emotions, but her motherly fear could be seen in her speech. "Diana?"

Clark didn't want to tell her how Diana went. He thought that it would make things worse.

"I'm sorry," was the only thing he could say.

Hippolyta broke down. Her sobs began to echo throughout the mountains and all of the warriors turned to see what was wrong with their leader. Hippolyta grabbed her hair and fell to her knees. She choked on her tears, staring at the ground.

"I told her! I told her to watch herself with you men!" She was vicious.

"I know you did, and she was." Clark couldn't stand by and watch her fall apart. He lowered himself onto the soft grass and wrapped his arms around Hippolyta. She didn't give a response, but Clark could tell she appreciated it.

Lux burst from the bushes, poised to strike. Her eyes widened at the sight of Clark and Hippolyta.

"Get away from her!" Lux screamed.

Clark obeyed the orders and gently released Hippolyta. He began to fly into the sky and go back to the direction of home.

******

The night sky was cool on Clark's skin as he flew into the city. He sat on a flat roofed building and just stared at the city. He could see all of its potential and all of its pain. But he also saw the city he loved wasn't worth saving. These selfish people weren't worth his protection.

A bird fluttered in front of Clark. A dove. It had a message on its leg and Clark took and read it.

Dear Clark,

I appreciate you coming and telling me about Diana. I would offer my services in the future, but I realize that I must protect my people now more than ever. So don't ever come back.

-High Leader Hippolyta

Clark scoffed. She was right about humanity. They were selfish and cruel. After this, there would be no more League. After this, Clark would just go back to his farm.

He would enjoy the solitude of his land and he would regret the solitude of being a hero.