Thursday evening

Dear Valt,

I'm surprised you're back to normal so fast.

From all of your emotions and tears yesterday. I was starting to think you would never get over it. But it looks like you did some thinking and some moving on last night, because when you came to school this morning, the old, regular you had appeared again. You smiled at me like nothing had ever happened and was like for the whole day.

It did cross my mind that you're in denial, or you're trying to forget about the whole ordeal and start fresh. But I know you've never been good at acting, so why are you still so happy? I'm glad you're happy, but I guess I'm just confused why. 

It's confirmed Free and Lui are dating. Apparently Lui's feelings started out as a minor crush, but grew as they both continued to spend time together. Free only just started to return his feelings after they kissed at Lui's mansion. 

When Wakiya spilled this bit of gossip, I watched you for every reaction in your face. It's actually quite easy to read people if you're quiet and pay attention a lot. And like I said before, you've never been that good of an actor. But your face didn't cry like I thought it would, but rather have a big smile. 

"I'm happy for them!" you grinned happily. 

What am I supposed to feel? Glad that you don't care that much about Free anymore? Happy that this is my chance? Yes, I'm still pondering about my feelings. 

I still love you. A whole lot. It seems my love for you increases every time I see you. But I'm your best friend. Your closest friend. It would be crossing the line to date you. And if I got rejected, it might ruin our friendship. Unrequited love always does that. 

You know what? 

I'm giving up on you. I'll ignore my feelings for you, and hopefully one day it will fade. Hopefully. Because you clearly prefer me as your bestfriend, and I'm fine with it. I really am. So I'll just love from a distance. 

I've already written this before, haven't I? 

I'm just confused. I need to rant. I keep on telling myself I'll just be your best friend like you want. 

But why can't I do that?

Love,

Shu

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