Just so you know, Shu's writing these letters, but not actually sending them yet. 

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Monday evening

To Valt, 

I'm back. 

After three years in America. Partly because I missed you so much, partly because of my parent's job. Of course, I was immediately sent to Beigoma Academy, much to my pleasure. I was also placed in your class. Everyone has grown up since we were eight. But everyone is still the same. Honcho's lollipop seemed to have never fallen out, Wakiya's just as snobby and rich, Daigo's still short, Ken's puppets are identical from when I last saw them.

And you haven't changed one bit.

You still have the look of innocence in your eyes, and a bright smile that could be brought to your face so easily. Your hair is just as spiky, your skin still smooth and tan, and your birthmark is still a dazzling red. 

Perfection. 

So I still don't know why you decided to date him. When I found out you were gay also, my happiness was out of the roof. But when I found out you were dating someone else, him, my heart shattered. I don't know why him of all people. You and Daigo? Maybe I would understand. But certainly not your choice of Free De La Hoya, the basket ball captain, slacker in class and the person so many people fell in love with. 

Including you. 

Daigo and the rest told me before you had even walked in the class. Classic Valt. Late as usual. I had forgotten who he was, since he was older than us by two grades. Until I was told the colour of his hair. Golden. The colour of the sun. 

We used to nickname him "Golden Boy". We despised him for being so popular and emotionless, breaking so many people's hearts without a care. Apparently only I despised him, because according to Daigo you were head over heels for him.

That hurt.

A lot. Like a punch in the gut. 

A very hard punch. 

Although when you walked into the room, you should've seen the smile on your face as your eyes landed on me. It was like a beam of the sun on your face. The way your eyes shone and the corners of your mouth lifted up into a big grin, it was so pure. I felt a burst of happiness inside, although only a small smile was on my face. It almost healed the punch.

Almost.

Thinking about the old memories made me feel so, incredibly sad. So when you asked me if I remember you, I said no. Because it was too painful to admit that I still remember, and cherish all our memories together when you clearly didn't. But I still felt guilty when sadness engulfed you, shrinking little by little as your eyes turned watery. You nearly cried. 

I should feel glad you didn't cry. 

And I am. 

I just wish I was the one who made you happy again.

He came into the room at the same time coincidentally, garnering loving looks from both girls and boys. He was lucky our home room teacher was even later than you. He was taller than I remembered, but still just as handsome and emotionless. But when he hugged you tightly, I saw concern flicker in his eyes, but it disappeared as soon as you gave a small smile towards him, showing that you were okay. His dark eyes flickered to me, the new kid, and I'm sure he didn't remember me from three years ago. Something told me he was going to punch me if you didn't say, "Leave it."

The rest of the day was uneventful. I knew the teachers and the school, so I didn't need any introducing or guiding. What I needed was you. I felt like you were avoiding me at recess and lunch, and even in class. I so badly wanted to talk to you. But when we were alone, early in the class room, the right words wouldn't form in my mouth. So we ignored each other for a full ten minutes. 

Because the words I wanted to say was held back by the fear, by the knowledge of getting rejected. So I'll say it here.

I love you. 

- Shu 

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