Bzzzzzzzt.

The static cleared and the camera focused on a face only feet away, holding a cardboard sign with tape and sharpie decorating the front.

A cough.

"Alright, I uh- Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained. Today we investigate Gravity Falls Anomaly number eighty-seven with my partner and monster hunter expert, Dean Winchester!"

Moving away from Dipper's face, it planned to the right, where Dean stood next to the Impala in his trademark green jacket, a dark plaid shirt and jeans. Dean watched Dipper with amusement. "What did you drag me out here for again? We had a long day yesterday, kiddo." He stretched, arm resting on the black cars hood.

Dipper grinned and turned the camera. It zoomed in on the Gravity Falls Gossipers.

Inside the window, sat the owner, facing right, reading an older version of the newspaper calmly. He sipped a cup of coffee, the blue cup about half empty.

"Today," he said, "we're investigating this guy! You asked some questions about him a while ago so I figured we could make it a bonding moment while we recover since we're less busy!"

Dean narrowed his eyes. "I don't remember asking about Righty, here, when-"

The younger Pines sighed.

"Play it back."

----

Bzzzzzzttt.

A camera probably held by Mabel slowly zoomed in on Dean's face as he exited the Gravity Falls Gossiper.

"Hey, Dipper," Dean said, "what's up with that guy? He only faces one direction and didn't give us his name. Does he have a horrible rash or a huge sunburn or something? He's creeping me out which says a lot because I have seen the unimaginable."

Dippers face went a little pale when he heard Dean's words, and the camera zipped towards the Pinetree on his hat, then zoomed back out. "Uh, he probably just wants some . . . right sided . . . alone time. Yeah. Newspaper printers, am I right?" He laughed, nervously. Then he got serious. "Seriously, though. Don't try to figure him out. Let's just say that the Bowling Alley down the street is closed for a very very similar reason."

Bzzzzzzzt.

----

Bzzzzzzzzzat.

"Where the hell did you even get that footage?" Dean asked, standing straight once more.

"Mabel just happened to be filming. But it doesn't matter. Now that I have you, maybe it won't be as disastrous as the Bowling Alley was!"

"Alright, I'm game. What's the plan?"

"No, no. First, what's unexplainable about this. Explain."

"Okay. Well, I've been following him around for weeks, now." Footage of the man jogging forwards and backwards, continuously facing right, played. The man took an elevator down, but didn't turn whatsoever. "If he's so normal, explain why he's always facing right! Seriously, I've never once seen the left side of his face! And neither had anyone else I've interviewed which is insanely weird, man. Why is that? You said you knew?"

Dipper shook his head, then swapped places with his sister, who handed him the camera. "No, no. Not yet. Next, theories! Mabel?"

She grinned, handing Dean an envelope that had a red stamp on it: TOP SECRET. She pulled out a piece of paper with a doodle of the man, one half normal, the other half of him on fire.

"Theory One: He's hiding an embarrassing sunburn!"

"Sure," Dean said.

"Theory Two: He's missing an arm! And a leg! Everything! That's would suck! Maybe it runs in the family?"

"I don't think-"

She waved him off. "And Theory Number Three, my personal favourite: he's normal!" The camera zoomed in on the drawing, the man with both sides intact, waving and smiling, an arrow pointing to him that said, normal guy. It got blurry as Dipper panned to the other side of the paper, then got back in focus as it showed a sketch of Dipper missing some screws and Dean looking on, worried. "And Dipper's just crazy!"

"That's not a theory," Dipper protested. He crumpled the paper as Dean hid a minor grin. "That doesn't count as a theory." His sister laughed. "Regardless, we find out now! Let's go!"

The boy waved Dean to follow, camera in hand, the full battery image flashing.

He hustled to the Gossiper door, burst in, and spun the camera on the man who simply seemed bored. "Hello good sir!" He said, as his opener.

"Hey," Dean said, "We're back. Don't mind him. Left something in the Guest Closet."

"I'm sorry," Righty replied, nothing, if anything annoyed, "cameras aren't allowed in here." Dipper's hand covered the lens quickly, then pulled away.

"Oh, oh, don't worry. It's not on!" Then into the camera, slyly, aiming it at Dean as he went down the hall, pulled out a beer bottle from the Guest Closet and came back, "he bought it!"

"So would you mind grabbing me that newspaper, there," Dean asked, returning, pointing, "the one on your left side."

Righty sighed. "That one?"

Nodding.

He shuffled, bent down, picked it up and handed it to Dean. "Anything else?"

"Whoops," Dipper cut in, reaching into his back pocket and heaving his wallet across the floor. Dean stifled a snicker. "Oh no, I dropped my wallet!"

"It's over to your left there," Dean agreed. "Your left side."

"Could maybe, turn around and-"

A longer sigh. Righty backed up, picked it up off the ground and returned it to Dipper who did a mental face palm. "Here you go, sir."

"Fine. Could you just get Dean the keys to his car, then, over there, on the shelf, behind the printing press?"

Dean felt the Impala's keys in his pocket and was about to say something but Dipper shushed him.

"It's a copy!" He hissed.

"I don't see why not," Righty replied, stepping away from the table, his newspaper and his coffee. "Let's see if I can reach them- How'd you get them over here anyways-"

Dipper shifted the camera lens to the man, walking over and Dean stepped to follow.

"Oh, well, don't worry about it it's-" and he grabbed the mans shoulder, spinning him around, "Aha!"

Dean gaped at what he saw.

The man was half robot, gears and metal clinking, churning, grinding. Buzzing noises and steam hissing as the man said, "Hey!"

"What the-" Dean started.

"Quick! Grab one of the little green men!" Dipper said, diving for the man in complete abandonment. "They'll escape!"

And indeed, little green characters lined the inner parts of the robot, pressing buttons and suddenly, one by one they gasped when the saw Dean and Dipper, whose hand was reaching for them, getting closer and closer. Dean sputtered.

"Is this a joke?"

"No! Get one!"

"You are joking, right?"

"Dean!"

"Guys," said one of the green things and Dean decided they looked like green blobs of jello. "We're blown!"

"No, no, no, no not again!" Dipper groaned, missing one of the green jello men by millimetres.

"Shut it down!" Another cried, pulling out a red, glowing cube. Dean watched, too fascinated to move. If this was some kind of prank, it was one of the most elaborate pranks he'd ever seen.

"The time has come."

"The time has come."

"The time has come."

"The time has come."

"The time has come."

One by one they swallowed the red cube and there was a flash and zap, then the jello man would be gone.

When they had all disappeared mysteriously, falling to the ground or screaming -- Dipper tried to catch one but it vanished in his hand -- the machine began to spark and sputter and Dean picked Dipper up.

"That's our cue to leave, Dipper!" He said, as it went up in flames, the sprinklers going off and a bell sounding.

The camera shook as Dean picked it up with his other hand, revealing Dipper to be hanging on with dear life on his shoulders.

"Oh come on!" He said. "I was so close-"

"Well," Dean interrupted, "that concludes anomaly eighty-seven or whatever this was. Uh, I think we might want to burn this tape."

Bzzzzzzzzzt.

___________________
A/N:

Yeah so this was ???? obviously not an actual update relating to the story line but I fell in love with Dipper's little shorts with Mabel, called Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained (which you can watch on YouTube) when the show ended, and I couldn't help but want to do a funny bonus with Dipper and Dean, showing them bond a little before season two, which is starting quite soon, actually!

Also I made this to show that the Guest Closet has been closed off permanently, signalling the seasons end and another beginning! N heck wowie was this fun to write haha

Right well hope you enjoyed this short chapter and I'll have the one with Mabel and Sam coming tomorrow or Sunday, we'll see when. I have a couple of kinks to work out for season 2 and making sure my outline is solid, as I already know how it ends and starts but not quite everything that happens in between so there's that

If you liked this, want more, can't wait for season two, please comment, vote and share! I've received so much support already and that blows me away and I would appreciate anything you have to say as I move forward!

{Song of the Chapter: The Kids Don't Want To Come Home by Declan McKenna}

Have yourselves a good day, but above all, let's go and kill some evil jerks, shall we?
Styx