"What do you call a child whose mother comes from a planet light years away, whose father  fought crime with a middle-aged man for years, and won't have any cousins or friends for at least a decade because of their three uncles, one is ten, one is very homosexual, and the other one doesn't think he'll ever get to have kids because it'd be too much of a strain on his crippled girlfriend?"
"Confused, probably. Seriously though, Alfie. Secondly, Barbara is not crippled, she got shot directly in her spine." Tim protested. "I just don't think it'd be a good idea to put her through labour. She can barely get out of her wheelchair to wash; it doesn't seem sensible."
"You still manage to 'have some fun' with her though, don't you?" Dick nudged Tim in the ribs.
"Stop, I don't want to have this conversation. Why are you ruling out the possibility of Jason and Roy having kids?"
"Errrrmmm.. because they're both men probably."
"So what? You do know adoption is a thing, right? They are the perfect couple, they would make perfect parents. Anyway.. do you even want kids?" Tim questioned.
"In all honesty, I don't know." Dick sighed."I just want to make sure I make the right decision for everyone. It just seems like a hella lot of work really; you can see what effect it's had on Bruce."
"Bit harsh," Tim commented. "I reckon he was just as mopey and broken before we all came along.  Anyway, if Starfire told you not to tell anyone about this, why are you discussing it with me?"
"I don't know!" Dick threw his arms into the air. "I can't cope with the stress of it all. I only just realised that I'm genuinely going to have to get married, and now a kid comes along into the mix just to complicate matters even more. We're superheroes, for gods' sake. Normal things aren't supposed to happen to us."
"Hang on." Tim theatrically stroked his chin, as if deep in thought. "If she's from another planet, and is therefore an alien, doesn't that technically mean it's bestiality?" He giggled to himself. Dick slapped him. "I can't believe you. This is not the time for joking. Do you want to come to Blüdhaven with me to fight some crime?"
"What, so we can talk about this, but if it gets too real you can just take your frustration out on some henchmen? Always."

-----

Nightwing and Red Robin crouched on the rooftop of the library, engulfed in darkness. "Follow my lead." Nightwing commanded, before he gracefully twirled across gargoyles, windowsills and canopies before silently descending to to the steps of the Blüdhaven City Library. "Way to tell me what we're here for." Red Robin muttered. He unfolded his wings and jumped off, gliding to the entrance. Nightwing held up his left fist to signal Red Robin to stop. He brought up a holoscreen on his left arm and began typing vigorously, deactivating the alarms and cameras. "So what's the deal here?" Red Robin questioned. "Who's got anything to gain from breaking into a library?"
"It reopened a while ago, after I started restoring order to this city. It's got a great section on Law & Order; you should come here with Barbara some time."
They cautiously entered after Nightwing hacked the door locks. They both silently shimmied along the side of a bookcase and turned the corner at the end. Red Robin was shocked to see Two-Face and eight identical goons surrounding a huge diamond. "Why are you here, Dent?" Nightwing questioned. "I thought you gave up crime when you escaped from Arkham and found out you couldn't blow up the twin towers."
"Nice to see you too, boy blunder." Dent remarked, accompanied by the played-out slow clap. "I wasn't aware you had a sidekick. Or is this another one of Batman's rejects?" Red Robin threw a batarang that narrowly brushed past Two Face's shoulder, as it pinned one of the minions to the back wall by his collar. "Where's Bats?" Two Face taunted. "Is he too old for this now?"
"Batman is devoted to Gotham." Nightwing retorted. "If you want to commit crimes in my city, you're gonna have to do it against me."Two of the henchmen immediately charged towards Red Robin, who pulled out his staff from behind him. He struck the first goon in the side of the head and then brought his legs out from underneath him in one swift movement. "What are your general thoughts about having kids then?" He asked Nightwing. A broad man scowled, and charged at Nightwing. Nightwing waited, took a slight step to the left, and hit the goon in the shin with his escrima sticks, releasing a huge voltage current into the man's leg. He fell to his knees and Nightwing kicked him down to the ground. "I would love to have kids. I really would." He replied. Red Robin allowed a henchman to approach him. The mountain of muscle threw a punch at Red Robin, just for him to catch it and twist his arm round. He slammed his palm into the man's elbow, and felt a sense of satisfaction as he heard it crack. Another heap of a man crept up behind Nightwing, but he used his escrima stick to hit him in the chest and shock him into unconsciousness without even turning his head. "It's just... we've both got action packed lives, y'know? I don't know if there'd be any time for a kid." A goon walked up to the side of Red Robin and went to throw a punch at the side of his head. Red Robin grabbed the man's arm and used his own weight to propel him into another minion, knocking them both to the ground like bowling pins. "I feel like if I had to look after a kid I wouldn't be able to fully concentrate on helping the city, or I'd concentrate too much on the city and ignore the kid." Nightwing eyed up the one remaining goon and disposed of him by the means of three sharp kicks to the head in quick succession. "Plus, if it was a boy then Bruce would probably try to turn it into the next Robin." Red Robin noticed Two Face attempting to make a quiet exit, and threw a batarang at his back. It stuck to him, and a net opened out, trapping the villain. The two heroes causally strolled towards him. "I'm still only twenty-six, that seems young for kids. I don't know how old Starfire is, that's probably something I should have asked her before I proposed." They tied Two Face's arms to his sides and his hands behind his back, and his legs and ankles together. Nightwing carried him over his shoulder back to the entrance of the building, where the police were waiting. "We got here as soon as we got your message." The policeman who looked to be in charge said to Nightwing. "Thanks, Gannon." Nightwing replied. "You can take it from here. Make sure these people go straight back to prison, where they belong." As the police squadron departed, Tim Drake began to think about the events he had just witnessed. "Hang on a second," He said, raising one finger in the air. "Why the hell was there a diamond that big in a public library?"