"Fuck the world," I mutter under my breath as I walk through the crowded halls. I scan my eyes along the familiar faces of my high school, not finding the person I was looking for, who happened to be my best friend, Rian Dawson. I guess I'll find him later. It's hard to find anyone in the morning on the first day of school since the freshmen are scurrying around finding their classes.

I find my way to my locker, opening it, throwing in my textbooks that I didn't need for the first two periods of today. I don't recognize the two people who have lockers next to me, but the one on my right has a counselor with him.

"Jack Barakat!" she exclaims. "You're a junior this year, right?"

"Uh, yeah," I mutter.

"Great!" she exclaims painfully happily. Why do professionals always have to act so happy all the time? They have bad days too, right? Or when you become an adult, does life just suddenly become fun? The fake happiness of teachers makes me want to stab my eyes out.

"You can show Alex around," she says excitedly, snapping me from my thoughts, motioning to the brown-haired boy standing beside her. He must be Alex. No shit, Jack.

For the first time, I rest my eyes on him. He's wearing a gray beanie and his hair partially covered his light brown eyes. He was thin and stood uncomfortably. I didn't blame him. He'd just entered this hellhole of a high school. I feel my eyes light up as I see he's wearing a Blink-182 shirt, and I blurt," You listen to Blink-182?" I mentally slap myself, because no Jack, he's just wearing a shirt representing a band he's never fucking heard of!

"Uh, y-yeah, they're my favorite," he says quietly, biting his lip. He was nervous and it was honestly adorable.

Don't get me wrong, I'm bisexual, but when I say adorable I don't necessarily mean attractive. Like you know how when you think someone is cute but not necessarily attractive to you personally or they're not your type, but everyone thinks you like them because you just think they're cute? Yeah, think of it that way.

I'm not gonna lie, though, he was attractive.

I want to be his friend.

Yeah, we're gonna be friends.

"They're my favorite, too."

-=+=-

Friend-crush (n.): a crush without the romantic attraction; someone you desire to become friends with.

"I haven't seen you all day!" Rian says as I drag myself into the cafeteria, grabbing a tray.

"Hey dude," I reply, walking up to him. "Where's Zack?"

"He should be here soon," he replies, his face getting a very slight shade of pink. I raise an eyebrow and he quickly looks away from my intent gaze, causing me to burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, you like him," I manage between laughs.

"Shut up," he says sharply.

"Rian and Zack sitting in a tree, K-I-S-"

"For fuck's sake, Jack, are you in kindergarten again?"

"I wish," I reply. We get food on our trays and sit at our usual table.

Zack sits down beside Rian at the round table that was made for eight people, so I'm awkwardly just sitting opposite of them. We quickly fall into casual conversation, exchanging schedules to see what classes we had together, when suddenly, Zack says something about Alex.

"Have you seen the new kid?" Zack asks us.

"Uh, yeah, I have biology with him," Rian says.

"I have math, history, and music with him," I chime in.

"He's kinda weird," Zack says, quieter. My heart does a weird thing and I feel myself get defensive for a split second, but it subsides. "I mean, take one look at him and you know he's not normal. He's either depressed and anxious or a homicidal freak," he adds, laughing.

"Let's hope it's the former, not the latter," Rian elaborates, laughing as well.

I keep a straight face and look around the cafeteria, trying to find Alex. He might need some friends the first day, and although my friends were kind of being asses about it, I know they'll come around. I see him sitting on the floor with his tray still completely full except for a few bites here and there.

I get up and approach him, and he pushes further into the wall, sensing someone there, but not knowing it was me. "Hey, Lex, it's just me," I say calmly, the nickname just rolling off my tongue. He smiles slightly at it, raising his eyes to meet mine.

I could get lost in those eyes...

What the fuck? Snap out of it.

"Do you want to come over to my table eat with my friends?" I ask politely.

"U-uhm, no t-thanks," he replies, shaking a little. "I'm n-not too hungry."

"Nervous?" He nods, and I chuckle, taking his tray from him and throwing it away. I knew he wouldn't eat any. "So, what do you say we just walk around for a bit?"

"I, uh, I want to be alone," he says, my heart dropping.

"Oh, okay," I reply, trying my best to put on a smile. No one likes me, no one wants to hang out with me. Fuck, what's wrong with me?

I start to walk away when I hear, "Jack, wait." I turn around to see that soft, shaky voice came from Alex, who had gotten to his feet. "Let's actually walk around."