~Noah~

"Wake up!" The light was suddenly flipped on, forcing me to do as the voice instructed.

"Woah, woah, what the hell?" I mumbled, putting my hand over my eyes and trying to prop myself up on my elbows. The lights were practically blinding and even when my eyes were able to somewhat adjust to the lights, I was still pretty much seeing spots.

Through my squints, I saw Lilly standing in the doorway, wearing a baby blue tank top and matching shorts. I tried not to take notice of the fact the she kept glancing down at my bare chest. I mean, I was no body builder, but I'd still take what I could get.

"Lilly?" I asked, still confused and disoriented. I slowly started to gain my bearings. I leaned over and looked at my phone. "It's 1:30. What are you doing in here?"

"OK? OK? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"Agh, keep your voice down!" Not only we're my ears sensitive from just waking up, but I didn't need everyone else in the apartment knowing about whatever the hell was going on between us. I fully sat up now. "What are you doing? Why are you here in the middle of the night?"

"Because I need to talk to you," she snapped, plopping herself down on the edge of my bed and looking over at me.

"Okay...?"

"Exactly!"

There was a long pause before "What?!"

"You don't say a word to me almost all day and then you just randomly text me, all cryptic and weird." She looked down at her phone to read out the texts from only a few hours ago. After she was finished, Lilly looked over at me questioningly, seemingly hoping against hope to get some sort of answer. I locked eyes with her for a moment, then I hung my head and let out an exasperated sigh. I put my hands over my face and rubbed my eyes.

"What? What do you want me to say?" I asked sharply. I was getting pretty annoyed, so say the least. "Did you want me to confess my love for you? Would you rather me have completely swept you off your feet before he did? I didn't really have much of a chance! I tried to, but now you're sending me mixed messages here! First you agreed with me earlier, saying that I shouldn't have tried to kiss you. Now, you're upset with me because I didn't do anything!" And she has the audacity to wake me up in the middle of the night? No one interrupts my sleep!

"Really? I'm the one sending mixed messages? Imagine how I feel!" she exclaimed. "You kissed me, then said you had made a mistake!—Did you really think that I actually agreed with you? Of course I didn't!—After that, you tell me you didn't regret trying to kiss and practically undress me with your eyes!"

I felt my face heat as I realized apparently how evident it was that I was staring at her yesterday.

"And then, you send me these weird texts where you're super passive-aggressive and obviously upset that I had just been asked out and that I didn't turn him down."

"Look, I don't know what to do, okay? It's hard enough trying to work out my apparently obvious feelings for you without everyone else putting so much pressure on me! I've got the record label breathing down the back of my neck when I just can't write anything right now, your brother is pressing me about you, and everyone else—"

"Wait, what?"

"What?" I looked at her, disoriented by my train of thought's sudden derailment.

"What has Dylan said to you about me?"

I could feel the color drain from my face.

Between you and your brother, I am going to die tonight.

"No, I didn't mean—" I didn't have time to finish my sentence as she got up and briskly walked back down the hall towards the living room.

Groaning, I got up and followed her, but not before grabbing my glasses. I got into the living room just in time to see her shaking her brother awake.

"WAH!" he shouted as he nearly fell off the couch.

"What did you say to Noah about me?" were the first words out of her mouth as soon as Dylan seemed to be awake and back upright.

"Yeah, thanks for the concern. I'm fine by the way."

"Answer the question, Dylan."

"Be more specific," mumbled Dylan, obviously annoyed and rubbing his eyes.

"I don't know. Noah?" She turned to me, standing beside her.

I pursed my lips, contemplating if I should go through with anything I was about to say. I mean, on the one hand, Dylan already knew what I was about to say. On the other hand, Lilly didn't. I very easily could've just walked away, saying I didn't know what she was talking about, and went back to bed.

Do it. Be an asshole about it. She's being a crazy bitch about it. Get even with her over it.

You would be insane to ever do that. It's just your sleep talking.

No, it's me.

Shut up, you! Just say it! Your feelings for her are way more powerful and important than whatever is going on with him!

"In the parking garage yesterday, when I told you what happened."

"YOU KNOW?" she practically shouted.

"SSSSHHHHHH!" Dylan and I shushed in unison.
Dylan sighed and sat up, putting his feet on the floor. He leaned forward so that his elbows were resting on his knees. "Lilly, look, before you get mad—"

"You know I love any sentence that starts with that."

"When Noah told me that you two kissed back in high school and that he tried to yesterday... I told him that he had to take you on at least one date."

"WHAT?!"

"It was only because I didn't want anything bad to happen again!"

"Oh my god, Dylan! First of all, I don't need you handling my love life for me! And second of all, what happened in high school is in the past! I can't escape the nightmares, but it's not going to happen again!"

"And how do you know that?! How are you so sure?!"

"Why are you so overprotective of me? I'm eighteen years old, I'm an adult, I can handle myself!"

"BUT WHAT IF SOMETHING DOES HAPPEN AGAIN? HUH?" His voice broke. "What if... what if the next guy you go out with is like him?"

For a second, I thought I was the "him" they were talking about got slightly... offended? I think? I wasn't entirely sure how I was feeling, nothing was making any sense.

I suddenly realized something, though: Dylan's eyes were shining. He was on the verge of tears. I actually couldn't remember the last time I had seen him cry.

I felt a pang of... some sort of emotion rush through me as I watched this scene play out. I wasn't sure what emotion it was. It wasn't guilt. It wasn't necessarily sadness. More... sympathy.

The next words that he spoke came out as little more than a whisper as a single tear slipped down his cheek.

"What if we hadn't found you?"

We? Who is we? Am I part of the we?

"Oh, Dylan," Lilly muttered softly as she sat down beside him.

Dylan put his head down, resting his forehead in between his thumb and index fingers.

"You know that's never going to happen again," she reassured him, a hand on his shoulder. "I would never let it."

"I know, I just..." His usually deep voice came out as practically a whimper as he took a shaky breath. Lilly immediately wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace.

I felt like I was invading, like I wasn't supposed to be seeing this. It seemed like a very personal sibling moment, relating to something that obviously happened years ago, something traumatic.

A part of me wondered if it had anything to do with whatever they were being so cryptic about. That event that happened in high school that they both refused to tell me anything about.

I had no clue what they were talking about, but I felt it was pretty safe to assume that I had never been through anything like it. I especially couldn't relate to the sort of protectiveness Dylan felt over Lilly since I don't have a younger sister; I grew up an only child.

The silence grew louder in the apartment as I stood there, awkwardly shifting my position every couple of seconds.

After many moments of quiet...

"What?" I finally asked, not being able to stand there anymore. I knew I couldn't just completely walk away.

Lilly looked up at me and solemnly shook her head. I pursed my lips and nodded understandingly.

~<3~

"So, what do we do now?" I asked Lilly in the hallway. Our doors were exactly opposite of each other. We were both standing in front of ours respectively and, just seconds prior, were silently staring at each other, trying to figure out what to say.

"What do you mean?" she whispered in response.

"I mean... about us." My heart started pounding. Even though I knew what I was going to say, I expected those words. Still, just the thought of "us". Of Lilly and I, together.

"Lilly, I..." I ran a hand through my bed head, a crazy tangle of brown hair that sat atop my head every morning.

I was trying to find words to describe what I wanted to say but I just couldn't place any together that would've accurately portrayed my feelings for her and how I actually felt. I couldn't portray my reasoning for everything that I've done in the past couple days in words.

I stole a glance up at her and she was smiling widely, obviously trying to contain laughter.

"What?" I asked, letting out a breathy chuckle.

"Nothing, it's just... with your hair all messy and curly and your big brown eyes, you look like a dog," she giggled.

"What?" I laughed.

"Y'know, those super curly brown haired dogs." We stood there quietly giggling together in the hallway and it suddenly felt like we were kids again, like we didn't have a care in the world. Like everything wasn't as complicated. I felt the laughter bubbling and fizzing around in my head like when you drink soda too fast, but in a nice, warm, fuzzy way.

It's hard to explain.

She reached out and ruffled my hair. She had obviously meant for it to be a playful gesture, but in this dark hallway, this late at night and with everything else that was going on, it seemed oddly intimate. It caused the laughter to quickly subside and silence to fall between us once again.

"So, what were you going to say?" she finally asked.

"Oh... well... just that... uhh." I had realized that I completely forgot what ever I was going to say. I couldn't believe how flustered I got around her.

"It's fine." There was a smile tugging at the edges of her mouth. "Sleep on it. Maybe you'll have the words by then."

I smiled at her gratefully. "Thanks," I responded, practically in a whisper.

We were both about to turn back to our rooms when she took a small step forward, stood on her toes, and planted a small kiss on my right cheek. I completely stopped in my tracks and my breath quietly caught.

Oh my god...

"Goodnight," she said with a warm sense of finality.

"Night..." I murmured, my lips only barely moving.

And with that, she turned back around and walked back into her and Gabbie's room for the night.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED???