With life's lessons I've become strong and weak,
They taught me to be me, made me love harder, longer,
While making me harder to love,
I'm harder to stand on a day-to-day basis,

The loss I suffer breaks my heart,
My suffering doesn't end,
My emotions... where are they?
Each loss takes more... I'm practically living stone,

The abuse, the fear, the love,
All ruined me, I'm no longer "normal",
But the soulless black sheep of the group,
Soulless, but rock solid, the black sheep everyone somehow finds fascinating...

All I wonder is why? For what?
I'm not interesting, I'm just me,
Another human who exists, yet didn't ask for existence,
With every day I exist I wonder, nothing more,

From abuse comes fear, and fear hesitation to love, to accept,
From abuse I'm a rock,
From fear I hesitate,
From love... I run,

Love can be a weapon to cause pain,
I refuse to love... because it hurts,
It hurts more than breaking your entire body,
I'm vulnerable, even with a shield around me,

I fear to love, I fear I'll abuse,
I fear pain in various ways,
Because all I remember is my loved ones leaving,
They'll all leave me at some point, don't deny,

For now, I'll be emotionless... empty,
For now, I'll shut most out,
For now... I'll help others instead of myself,
But I will accept one day, if they come back