If you're cold, go stand in a corner.

They're usually 90 degrees.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar?

They each got 6 months.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

They're really good at it.

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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.

It's something I can really see myself doing.

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Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the "P" is silent.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

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Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says "Eyooooummmmooyyyoooooo."

Then the second whale said "Frank, what is wrong with you?"

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving and the other one is handling the gun.

Two soldiers are in a tank. They drown.

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What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

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What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

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Two friends are talking, and one has to go. "Can you call me a taxi?" He asks.

The second friend replies "You're a taxi."

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What's grey and can't fly?

A parking lot.

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I have a heart of a lion!

Also I have a lifetime ban from the zoo.