"C'mon, c'mon," Dick whispered as the ringing continued. One hand was preoccupied with holding his phone and the other hand was busy picking at the skin on the side of his thumb. He paced up and down his apartment as his breath picked up but he forced his focus on the phone rather than the clawing anxiety. "Please, Clark. Please just answer." As if hearing his plea, the man picked up and greeted him in a tired grumble. He definitely only just woke up and guilt began to nibble at his mind.

"Hey Dick, everything okay?"

"Oh thank God. Okay, I'm gonna be quiet for a minute here and then you're going to tell me if you can hear another heartbeat. Got that?" He didn't wait for there to be confirmation because he knew Clark would just do it and went silent, holding his phone away from his face so he didn't accidentally breathe too loud and overwhelm the mic.

"It's just you there," Clark reassured him after a minute or so of listening. He let out a loud sigh of relief and returned the phone to its place beside his face in time to hear the worst part of calling the super in the middle of the night. "You alright bud? Your heart is really loud."

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay. Sorry, fuck- It's the middle of the night and you've got your family and-"

"Dick, listen it's alright. Take a deep breath and tell me what's going on." He stopped pacing and did as he was told, sucking in a deep breath, holding it and then letting it go. Clark must've heard his heart beating as though he'd just come out of a fight or his voice was far shakier than he'd thought. There was probably no way he would avoid a conversation about what happened in the first place but he didn't doubt that his heart rate sealed his fate. His stomach still churned with guilt at calling the hero up at nearly four in the morning when he had a whole family and job to go to. "Do I need to call someone?"

"No!" he shouted before thinking better of it. Shouting no was as good as saying yes please I'll put you on a group call. "No, I'm fine. I just," he sighed, shaking his head at how stupid it all seemed now he'd calmed down. "An old nightmare. I thought... I thought Slade was in my home and I couldn't find him so I thought he had to be here. Somewhere. Watching."

"Working a case on him?"

"No, one of his coworkers but my stupid brain decided that the relationship was more important than I thought." He wiped the back of his hand across his forehead to get rid of the cold sweat clinging to his skin. Maybe a shower would put him right. Then again, he was terrified to close his eyes and open them to find the man's shadow casting on the shower curtain.

"Have you been sleeping much since you started the case?"

"Who are you? My dad?"

"Prefer worried uncle."

"That would imply you and B are a lot closer than you are nowadays. You're lucky he lets Damian have play dates with your kid. I only got playdates when I had to catalogue contingencies. You should probably think about that next time you let Damian stay over but knowing that kid, he already has his work done."

"You can't fool me by deflecting the question. Now tell me how much you've been sleeping lately, if only for my own peace of mind." He sighed at the dad's voice Clark was pulling out. Deep down there was this kid version of himself that would shrivel up and act like he'd been struck at the mere idea of disappointing Superman and the kid had been through enough with disappointing Batman so he answered albeit reluctantly.

"Three hours maybe? I don't know." By this point, the sleep-deprived headaches had become constant enough that he couldn't remember a time without them. He knew if he weren't living alone he would've been pushed to rest by now and someone else would take over but he was living alone so he was blessedly neglected by himself. He didn't like being taken care of like that even though he needed it more often than not. The logical part of his brain, which sounded suspiciously like Barbara, told him that he needed to reach out to someone sooner before it got to pacing his apartment looking for a ghost but he was always a kinesthetic learner and needed lessons drilled in a few times over before really getting that his body wasn't as invincible as he hoped. 

"You should get some rest," Clark suggested.

"I'm up now. It'll take hours before I'm calm enough to think about sleep but by then it'll be morning and I need to keep up with my schedule, I can't skip anything. Not to mention I have to get this case solved before the guy catches wind of me investigating and skips town. I can't go chasing this guy around the country."

"Can't you pass this off to someone else? It's clearly triggering for you, I'm sure they'll understand and want to help."

"I don't want anyone else getting this close to Slade. If he hears of me, he'll launch an attack and I'd rather it be me than anyone else. He... I can't let him do anything to them. I can't let them experience even a bit of what I did."

"They're all experienced heroes. Send Bruce in if you're not sure."

"No, he'll work on it with Damian."

"What about Jason?"

"No, he'll get provoked and do something stupid. No one else can do this."

"I don't know what else to suggest."

"I don't want suggestions!" he snapped, irritated that he had to defend himself. He'd already run through the possibilities of handing the case over to someone else and each of them was unsuitable. Sure his reasoning was a little biased but it wasn't like he just assumed nobody could take over. "Sorry."

"Dick, what do you want?"

"All I wanted was for you to tell me if you could hear anything and then you started prying into my life. I would've asked Bruce if I wanted to be interrogated like I'm doing everything wrong and it's my own fault for getting myself so worked up and inconveniencing everyone around me."

"Do you want me to go?" 

"No," he answered, his voice small. "I've thought about installing cameras," he said. It was a change of topic but he'd rather jump ship on the old conversation even if Clark would only bring it up later. He felt too vulnerable. "Then I just got paranoid about someone hacking into them. Joys of one of your brothers being your number-one stalker for a while. I could move but I doubt that would help anything and just make me more stressed." 

There was a beat of silence and he thought he must've accidentally hung up in his sleep-deprived state before hearing another voice, although muffled, on the other end of the phone. He tried to strain his hearing but he guessed Clark had his hand over the mic because he couldn't catch a word of it. He wasn't concerned since it sounded female and it was likely Lois asking why he was up. Heat rose to his face at the embarrassment of her knowing this strong vigilante was getting freaked out by a figurative boogeyman running around his home.

"Dick, if I do you a favour, will you do me one?"

"What's the favour?"

"Lois and I want a date night but as you know, Jon's powers are making themselves known. He's not got the best control of them yet and he's always insisting on using them to help people so he'd probably just sneak out so we can't get a proper babysitter. You're good with him and he knows you so we would both really appreciate it if you looked after him?"

"Uh, sure?" Where was he going with this? "When?"

"This Saturday. We'll be at the family farm so it'll be a bit of a drive but it would be great if you could come over. Can I count on you?"

"Yeah, yeah of course but uh, what's the favour to me?"

"You'll see. For now, though, I have to get some sleep and you do too." Bothering the poor guy, he must be exhausted with everything he had to do. Dick remembered when he was juggling vigilante work with regular work and looking after Damian and he'd never felt exhaustion like it. His body just felt like it was solid cement 24/7.

"Yeah, thanks, Clark. Gnight."

"Goodnight."

When Dick turned up on Saturday, he still had no idea what the favour to him was supposed to be. He still hadn't finished the case but he'd managed to get about three hours of sleep the night before because he was being left alone with a kid and he couldn't be too exhausted. The last thing he wanted to do was fuck up Clark's kid because, in a sleep-deprived stupor, he decided to overshare about a particularly gory murder case. 

He decided to take his motorcycle up since sometimes it felt wasted just being used in the city. Besides, all he needed was a backpack since he doubted he'd be staying overnight. He brought his laptop in hopes of being able to get some work done when he got Jon to bed and waited for Lois and Clark to come home, some treats for Jon because he couldn't help but spoil anyone younger than him (call it a big brother instinct), some clothes to put on when he changed out of his bike leathers and then finally his suit which he hoped to change into when he found a suitable hiding spot.

The drive had been nice. He forgot what the countryside looked like thanks to never having time to leave the city. It reminded him of the long drive to where Bruce had a cabin tucked away on the border of America and Canada. They'd spend a weekend or so there every year. Alfred called it a digital detox because there was no signal up there but Bruce had his ways. They stopped going a year before Dick ran away from home. He missed that cabin. He wondered if it was just rotting over there or if Dick wasn't invited anymore. Maybe he should ask to go but the thought of asking was embarrassing. Bruce would never agree.

Before he could dwell on that, he took a left on the dirt road that led up to the farmhouse and found himself smiling when he spotted Jon waiting on the porch. He'd been playing with something on the floor before snapping his head up and attempting to fly over to Dick before his dad appeared behind him and grabbed his arm. Dick imagined him saying not to distract the driver or something along those lines in that dad voice he always did. It didn't surprise him when he heard Clark was becoming a dad. He was basically built to be one. He was giving parenting advice to Bruce long before he had his own offspring. 

Dick parked his bike off to the right and took off his helmet, shaking his head to get rid of the helmet hair. 

"I see I've got a welcome party," he greeted as he got off. The next thing he knew, he was almost thrown onto the ground by Jon's tackle hugging him. Thank God for his amazing balancing skills. He patted the boy on the head and returned the hug. "Nice to see you too Jon. You've gotten taller. You'll be surpassing Damian soon."

"Like that's hard," Jon teased as he pulled away. "Don't tell him I said that."

"Not a word," he replied. He set his helmet down and made his way over to the porch where he received a near-bone-crushing hug from Clark which he happily returned. He forgot how nice hugs were in his self-imposed isolation. 

"It's good to see you, Dick. Thanks again for doing this."

"Well, I couldn't let you two down. You've been my OTP since I was ten."

"I thought that was Selina and Bruce?" Lois asked as she stepped out. She looked amazing as always and it was a wonder this woman wasn't some sort of vampire from how she failed to age. She was still that plucky journalist who interviewed him as a kid.

"They're a different brand of OTP," he replied. "Anyhow, has the mite eaten or am I gonna go bankrupt on the delivery fee?"

"I'm not a mite!"

"Oh, of course! Supers are more like black holes in human form," he teased lightly.

"Leftovers are in the fridge if he gets hungry but he's already eaten his dinner," Lois told him. "I'm guessing it'll be your first homecooked meal since your last visit home?" He decided to leave her assumption uncontended. "He goes to bed at eight and no sweets past six. We'll be back around midnight."

"Call us if he gets out of hand, okay? There's no shame in it."

"I raised Damian for a year and lived, I'll be fine."

He was fine. 

Jon was very different to Damian but the basics were the same. Keep the kid entertained and you won't die either by the sword or from annoyance. Jon chattered on about getting to be a hero, what new powers were coming in and plans he had with Damian to patrol together. It was nice to have one conversation about being a hero that didn't include any doom and gloom. There was no fear for the future, fear for his personal life or fear for his city. He was just happy to be a hero and Dick found it made him feel happier about his own vigilante life. 

"Have you thought about joining one of the teams yet?" Dick asked. There were quite a few now but he'd be lying if he said he didn't have a preference for the Titans as a former member and leader.

"Nah, me and D are gonna make our own. How many people do you need for a team?"

"Two I suppose."

"Then I'm already in one," Jon said as though it were obvious. "Supersons. Oh, you can be in it too since sometimes we're not allowed out without an adult!"

"Sounds fun," he replied although he had no real intention on crashing their missions. Damian deserved his independence from the family and he didn't think he could take the stress of two deadly children under his care. He'd lose his mind. Well, lose the rest of it. "When are you thinking of ditching the onesie?"

"It's not a onesie! You can't say anything either, I've seen your first Nightwing suit."

"It was cool back then."

"Yeah in the 1900s," Jon teased.

"Take a look at the clock and tell me what time it is since I'm too old to see it," Dick said, nodding to the ornate grandfather clock that was likely older than both him and Jon combined. Throw Damian and Clark in the mix and it might actually get close. The super glanced at the clock with a smile but frowned when he saw the time. 

"Aw already? But we just started talking!"

"We've been talking for two hours and the hour before you were insisting on showing me your cartwheel," Dick reminded him. "C'mon, if you get ready fast enough, I'll tell you about the time I went to an alternate dimension instead of reading the books Lois left."

"How fast?"

"Four minutes, teeth brushed not just changed into your pjs." Jon nodded with a determined grin and sped off up the stairs. 

The acrobat smiled to himself and noticed a distinct lack of that weight on his chest he'd become all too accustomed to. He wondered if that's how Bruce felt in the beginning before he wore out his welcome. Maybe he never felt it at all. Clark must feel it though. It must be nice to come home to something normal. A house with a loving wife and a bright child. Never alone for too long to turn sour or bitter.

Before he could linger on the thought, Jon was tugging at his hand with his head tilted in confusion. 

"Dick? I called your name like five times," he said, his eyebrows pinched with concern. Had he been thinking for that long? He wasn't used to people catching him in thought so he wouldn't be surprised if he'd been stood there for a while just thinking. 

"Sorry bud, got lost thinking about a case," he lied. Jon didn't need to worry about all that stuff when he was so young and so new to being a hero. Let him find out in his own time how much this job took. To be fair, with Clark as a father, he wouldn't have to worry about it as much. "Do you want a glass of water to take to bed?"

"No that's okay." The younger chewed his bottom lip thinking on something but knowing better than to just come out with it. Dick knew the look well, remembering it on his own face enough times as a kid. He could easily pretend he didn't see it in case Jon had caught his lie but that didn't feel very fair. 

"What's up?"

"Could you stay in my room for a bit? Just till I'm asleep! It'll make me feel better to hear you."

"Hear me?"

"Your heartbeat. I listen to Mum and Dad to fall asleep but they're not here. It helps to focus on something steady," he explained quickly, rushing out the words like it was some dark secret. It would be a little annoying but if it made him more comfortable then Dick would do it. He could just read reports since he doubted the sound of typing would be soothing when the world was already so loud. "Sorry, it's stupid. I can hear it from down here but-"

"It's not stupid. I don't mind," Dick assured him. "What I will mind is if you're up by the time your parents come in so let's head up yeah?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Dick."

"Don't worry about it."

"So how did you end up in another dimension?"

"Honestly, I'm still not sure of the science but I do know it's not the weirdest thing that's happened in my life."

When Clark and Lois came in, the former dipped his head into his son's bedroom and smiled when he saw his plan had worked. Dick was finally asleep, deep enough to snore lightly, tucked up in the armchair beside the bed. That angle would do nothing for his back so Clark carefully picked him up and carried him to the guest room. As he tucked him in, the acrobat stirred and made a confused noise from the back of his throat. 

"Just go back to sleep," Clark told him softly, running a hand through his hair and chuckling to himself when Dick went right back to sleep. He was tired. Tired beyond his years. He needed some rest in a place he knew he didn't need to worry about protecting himself. "Favour returned kid." A good night's sleep in a place where he could just be Dick Grayson and nothing else was the best thing he could ever offer him.