M'kay so this whole fiasco started at exactly 8:14 this morning, before school started.

The first bell rings at 8:18, so I was sitting outside and looking through Tumblr (or was I reading on Wattpad? Was it one of those days? Pssshhh I forgot, insignificant). My friend arrives and we start talling, I check my phone and saw that it was 8:14, four minutes before the first bell, when I would have to head to Spanish.

Suddenly, my friend stiffens and goes absolutely still, and I, confused, look over at her.

AND THERE IS A BEE ON HER BACK!!! A BEE!!!! A MOTHERFUCKING BEE!!!

So to be completely honest, I am not very scared of bees, I don't really mind them. But I know that my friend is deathly afraid of them, it's a phobia.

So she says, "Ruka, I can sense a bee on me please let it be a joke!!!" And she is hysterical, freaking out, breathing heavily, but trying not to move.

Keep this in mind: I do NOT know how to comfort human beings, hell, I van barely socialize, its a miracle I have this one friend.

So I say, "Don't freak out. Don't move. There is a bee on your back."

And she freaks. But doesn't move. So she's like, whimpering in fear and trembling slightly.

But then the bee crawled UP TO HER SHOULDER!!! And she is hyperventilating and whisper shouting, "Ruka do something!!! Help me, do something something anything do something help me help help help something do please!!!!!!"

She was really terrified.

But I don't know what to do!!!!!!! HOW DO I COMFORT HUMANS HOW DO I GET A BEE OFF OF THEM HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?!?!

So I say, "Crystal, I don't know how to tell you this, but I have no clue what to do!" While wringing my hands in the air.

AND THEN THE BEE CRAWLS ONTO HER LANYARD!!! AND THEN TO HER NECK!!!

And I said, "Oh shit it's on your neck now don't move!"

At the same time that she shrieks and rips her lanyard off and throws it across the motherfucking campus.

And at the same time, the bee stings her.

And she screams.

(By the way, no one fucking turned their heads. Apparently its nothing special if someone screams at our school. Good to know.)

So now she's crying and I'm standing there like, "wtf do I do???"

I really suck at comforting people.

So she turns to me for a hug and I give it to her because I don't know what else to do. This is the first hug I've given in over a year. I wasn't supposed to hug Crystal until we both graduated high school. It's a reserved hug. And we broke that promise. Cause of a bee.

Then I take her to the nurse and pray on the way there that the nurse actually was there, cause there are a lot of times she isn't. And the bell rings and I'm like, "Shit I'm gonna be late to Spanish. Whatever, I hate the class anyway."

So the nurse performs her voodoo magic and I sit next to my friend without a clue what to do next, until the nurse says I can leave at last and gave me a pass. 

So I walked slooooooowly to Spanish on the other side of campus and when I get there, the teacher stares at me and says, "I just marked you absent." So I give her the pass and reeeeaaally want to say, "Well, then you better unmark me absent." I really hate this teacher.

But I don't say it cause I don't need after school detention.

Wow so all that actually happened on Friday two weeks ago, but I never got to publish it cause that's when the whole hospital fiasco shit happened. 

Damn