"He hypothetically bullies no that's too strong, more like annoys this girl. But the girl hypothetically is still really nice to him even though she's seen him at his lowest. She is the most amazing girl he's ever seen, beautiful, strong, kind and funny. She is so angelic and badass. I really love her- I mean he HE really loves her a lot. Ahem, this is all hypothetically of course" right now Don's cheeks were rosy pink,heh maybe this guy can really love someone. I'm not gonna lie I kinda had my doubts, like who wouldn't. Have you seen him his looks live a mass murder. But I guess I shouldn't have judged a book by its cover. Haaaa man, I kinda miss Genos and Saitama.

I bet Genos would be able to give better advice than me. Anyways. "Well Don, I think your hypothetical friend should try the classics. They usually don't go wrong for most girls. He should try buying her gifts, maybe a necklace or two, buy some flowers and take her out to eat or something. And make sure he hypothetically is a gentleman from now on, no more annoying that poor hypothetical girl. Most girls don't like that"

Birdies face lit up at the advice, he was nodding his head frantically and shit. Saying something about how he'll tell him while gently pushing me out of his room. Noice. Here I am in the hallway with nothing to do. With that I just made my way to the kitchen, may as well make good use of that free food deal.

~~~
Y/n pov.

It's been a while since I last saw the pink bird. It didn't feel like he was avoiding me, just genuinely really busy. I was making my way down the familiar pink hallways. There's a few family portraits hanging and the pink walls. I'm not gonna lie, they look a bit...unique. Okay, no. They look full on like serial killer murders. They really have to work on their angles, maybe their lighting as well. For some reason Don always seems to be in the centre with some kind of pink lighting on him and him alone.

Trying to brush off the slightly traumatic family photos I continue down the hall. Then I spotted something that definitely wasn't there before I came. There were pictures of me and the family. There one of me and Senior pink throwing gang signs, me doing Baby fives hair, running away from Trebol and his damn snot. I'm still a bit salty about that. Hey, there's even a picture of Dellinger and me doing a runway walk in the hall. I really made a lot of memories with these guys.

As I tilt my head up higher to see the other images I find a massive framed picture of Don and I. I'm holding him in a headlock while laughing at something. I can't even remember what was so funny then, but Don's wearing a genuine smile and trying to swat my hands away. It's really funny before I wouldn't even want to touch that guy with a ten foot long pole, how strange. I might miss this place when I leave at the end of the week. Only two days left.

About to continue on my way Don pops out of nowhere and puts his hand on my shoulder. "E-Excuse me, Y/n a-are you busy right now?" This man was shaking in his socks and sweating bullets. But somehow he pulls through and says what he says. Turning around you faced him.

"No not really, I've got nothing planned for today "

"W-Well *ahem* if you are so free I wanted to know it you would like to accompany me for a d-da-d *deep breath* date today?" He gave a nervous awkward smile. When he finished, his hand was no longer on my shoulder but instead he had a death grip on his left arm. I'm like 1000% sure there is no blood circulation around there.

"Hmmmm I don't see why not, just let me get ready then we can leave" after that I skipped my way down the hall.

After my back was turned Doffy held his hand in a fist and proceeded to do victory fist pumps. He was jumping up and down. His feathered coat was barely staying on his shoulders, he was elated. If you were really listening you could probably hear his hell yeses down the hall. Wasting no more time he bolted to his room to also get ready. He needs everything to be perfect. His hair, clothes, shoes and he once read somewhere that if you smell good there is some kind of higher chance the girl you like will like you too. So he definitely had to get some nice smelling cologne on too.

~~

Making my way downtown with a glock, someone fina get shot da da da da da da~ I finally reached my temporary room. It was quite simple, not too much or little. The only thing that really stood out though was the mountain of plushies on my bed. But we don't talk about that. It was hard to decide what to wear like I mean we're going out with Don here, but then again he seemed a litt- lot nervous. So I guess I can be nice and wear something a little nice for him.

After removing my whole ass wardrobe I settled on a plain white dress that had small embroidered yellow ducks on the rim of it. But of course there was no way I would actually wear death traps for a whole day so I put on a pair of yellow and while J*redans and biker shorts underneath your dress. Y'know always gotta be prepared for UNEXPECTED events.

Finished I made my way to the foyer. I had a little hop skip and trip in my step. Face planted down the stairs, yessir. Did anyone see me? God I hope not. Should I use this to learn not to skip down stairs? Probably. But will I? Absolutely not.

As I reached the foyer I spotted Don already there. Lying is bad so I've gotta say bird man was looking fine~ even if he decided to keep that feathered floof ball on his shoulders. He was wearing a classic black suit with a tie. But wait what was that...huh it looks like y'know those symbols that every Disney princess has, well like that but one for Doffy. It was embroidered on the breast pocket of his suit. It really stood out because it was a hot pink. But I mean hey-ho at least it matches his aesthetic. He was also wearing his signature glaces and it kinda looks like he got a haircut but I can't really be sure, his hair looks about the same length.

The closer I got the more I realised his face is really burning up. Even the tips of his ears were pink too, maybe he's sick. "You good Don?"

"I-I-I'm just amazing..." he was dazed. I turned around to see if there was something really pretty back there or something. That's strange, there's nothing there. Brushing it off you took his hand in your and went out the door. While being this close to him you could smell the odd combination of fresh coffee and that new car kinda smell coming from the bird. Weird but I like it. Maybe if Saitama uses something like this he can finally get a girl or something.

We both entered the limo and I just waited to see where Don would take us for our supposed "date".

~~~

Plan (a) Operation Glitter Glam

Doffy thought this was perfect. First he was gonna take you to the most expensive jewellers in Dressrosa and then you would go clothes shopping. You would see how rich, powerful and amazing he was and fall in love with him. Easy, it's just that simple. He obviously thought wrong.

Y/n pov.

The car ride was a bit quiet but I didn't really mind it was a comfortable type of silence, well at least for me. When the driver stopped and pulled over we were in front of this massive building. I had to tilt my head way back just to see the shop name. We are better. I don't don't know who named their shop that but they have a screw or two loose. I get being confident that your stuff is good quality but that's just plain rude.

Surprisingly Mingo confidently grasped my hand. He then led me into said shop I was staring at. It was some type of jeweler, but they looked horrible. Every single product that I looked at had a disgustingly large diamond or gem on it. I swear to God there was one as big as my hand. I don't know about anyone else but my neck would get tired if I had to carry that.

We were greeted- ehhh more like Doffy was greeted I'm not even sure they noticed I was there. Oh wait, someone did notice me. There's this lady off the side glaring daggers into the back of my head. How pleasant.

"I want all the finest jewels for my lady, bring them out at once" his voice slightly echoed throughout the room. The staff started to rush around to collect the ones with the biggest gems then three of them went to the back room. Right now I'm not that impressed, they brought a nice comfy throne like chair for Doffy but oh I got the premium express. I GOT A FUCKING STOOL THE KIND YOU WOULD STAND ON WHEN YOU CAN'T REACH THE TOP SHELF OR SOME SHIT. At this point I'm just seething. There ain't no way I'm sitting on that, that's just plain disrespectful.

The three staff that came from the back room came back, but they were struggling to push the case. With a very exaggerated and loud sight I walked over and pushed it myself. By pushing it I mean I lightly tapped it and it rolled all the way over to Don. I can't believe it, I must be an actual saint. Like how am I so amazing?

Hahaha... I really think that whoever the GENIUS was that created the necklace in the case I just helped push needs to get his or her brain checked out. It was the size of a basketball on a chain and they're calling it a necklace. They presented it only to Doffy because y'know I'm air and invisible. For the first time since coming here Don finally looked to my side most likely to ask if like the basketball.

He turned his head then froze. His eyes locked in on the stool they gave me to sit down on. A vein bulged on his forehead, this man was pissed. Without another word he took me in his arms, princess style and walked right out of that store. When we were outside he took out his phone and called someone.

"I want the 'we are better' jewellery store gone in the next ten minutes. I don't want to see any evidence that it even existed in the first place. And get rid of its staff too" venom was dripping off of every word he said. Like damn, I get closing down the store but offing people as well is pushing it. But then again they were assholes. Hmmmm what a hard decision, to kill or not to kill. Technically speaking I'm not a hero in this world, so I'm not responsible if they end up dying. Yeahhhhh imma let fate decide whether they manage to live or not.

"Ayo Don, what are we doing now?" Like some kind of switch was flipping he changed. He spoke softly and had such a kind looking smile on his face. Bipolar much.

"I think we'll just go clothes shopping, is that okay my dear?"

"Uhh yeah that's fine"

In less than two minutes we were already at the next store, I didn't even have time to properly look at how the store looked outside he just went straight in. Without doing much else Doffy let me down and said to browse around and that when I was done to come find him.

He was swept away by the staff and brought to some kind of VIP waiting room. I went around looking at their clothes, well that is if you can call them that. There were space suits, they had the helmet and all, and then there was underwear that they somehow thought was outing wear. After a while of browsing- harshly judging every piece of clothing I come across- I realised I was being followed. Not the oh man there's a creepy dude following me no it was the I know you're trying to steal shit follow.

I went to multiple different isles and everything, I get it I'm black you don't get much of us around your parts. But that doesn't mean I want to steal your subpar sorry excuses of clothing. It seemed like she finally got tired and just decided to confront me.

"Excuse me lady, I'm gonna need you to put back all the products you thought you could steal"

I just turned and stared. Whom. The. Fuck. Did she think she was? "I didn't steal anything so I'm so sorry to tell you I have nothing to put back" my voice was calm and controlled but you could hear the aggravation in my tone. She made offended screeching noises. Ahhh... I might need to visit the doctor after that, for both physical and physiological damage.

"Are you calling me a liar"

"No, I'm calling you a two bit bitch that probably spends her free time eating sand. Probably had a fried sand sandwich for lunch didn't you?" If you couldn't tell I'm wholeheartedly enjoying insulting this woman. It was clearly written all over my face.

Her face however was reaching astronomical red levels. I'm pretty sure I could see steam coming off the top of her head. She turned on her heel and went into the private room Don went into earlier. I could hear her mutter very colourful language under her breath. Not long after she entered the vip area did Mingo and the manager come out with her.

"Don't worry Mr. Doflamingo sir, we'll show you how we deal with the peasants that think they can steal from our store. I'm sure you'll enjoy the process " the manager kept prattling on and Birdie just looked like he wanted to unalive himself right then and there. When he caught sight of home he noticeably perked up. Just as he was about to greet me the manager spoke up instead. Don does not appreciate being cut off and either do I. I was mid sentence and everything

"Are you the mana-"

"Now listen here you rat, my employee told me that you have stolen a considerable amount of our merchandise and as if that wasn't enough for you you proceeded to emotionally damaged my favourite employee "

"Are yo-"

"Now I'm going to have to ask you to firstly return the items and then you need to get down on your hands and knees and apologise "

"Can I spea-"

"After your finished doing that I'm going to require you to pay 1 million berries for the inconvenience you've caus-"

"SHUT UP"

The manager was too stunned to speak. She looked like a deer in headlights. Guess no one ever spoke to her like that. Liking her expression I finally had the room to speak.

"I haven't stolen shit, if you think I did, feel free to eat sand like your "favourite employee" and choke on it. Now Don, I don't think I want to stay here any longer can we leave"

Just as she was about to retort Doffy went to my side and started apologising for bringing me to such a low class store. Safe to say she was stunned again. We left without any resistance from the staff.

Plan (a) failure

~~

Bonus

-Doffy has a little devil in his head that gives him advice, so when he thinks it's almost like a conversation and the little devil speaks in plural to show that they are one.

-At this point in time Sabo has finally 'died'. But the boys still can't find the transporter snail Y/n gave them, so she doesn't know.

-Rumor has spread that Mihawk is looking for his wife, the news coo presume they've had a fight and Mihawk is trying to make it up to her.

-The thing embroidered on Doffy's suit was his sunglasses

-Doffy is worried that Y/n is going to leave him, he has abandonment issues

-Turns out Dellinger see you as a big sister figure and also doesn't want you to leave.

-Garp often wonders when you're going to show up for marine recruitment, he vividly dreams about you and the boys being too marines

A/N : Okay guys I'm really sorry for not updating. A lot of stuff has been happening. Got sick, recovered, exam study, the start of the mock finals(that are still going on right now). There's actually a lot more to this chapter but it's not finished. So I decided to upload the part of the chapter that wouldn't feel weird if I didn't upload the rest. I also tried something a bit different with my writing style. If you've noticed I've tried to write it almost completely in the first person. I feel like we've been on the Doffy ark for a while now, so in around one or two more chapters we will be going onto the next character.I'm not sure when's the next time I'll be able to update but I'll try my best. I hope you enjoy what I've written.

Author-chan~

~3005~