TW: Selbstverletzung

"...
I'm sorry.
I know I sweared.
But in the end, I lied.
All the time.
Didn't you see my body change?
Didn't you see my smile dissapear?
Didn't you see my life fall apart?
I didn't know how to tell you.
In the end you felt better with believing this lie.
So it's better for all of us.
Better if I dissapear."

The last words she will ever write.
Her last words they will ever read.
Broken she get's herself to the bathroom, unable to control herself.
She grabs the razor, not knowing what she's doing.
Her eyes fill with tears as she puts up her sleeves.

Noone ever noticed her wearing hoddies and long trousers all the time.
Noone payed attention.
And noone ever seemed to care.

So now she's standing in the bathroom.
The door is locked.
She looks at herself in the mirror.
Tears run down her tired face, but she doesn't feel any emotions.

'How comes you are doing it now? Did you finally see noone cared?
Did you finally get you're wortless?
I always told you.
Great you realised it now.'

Her inner voice is killing her.
She starts shaking, falling to the ground, crying her pain out.
But not making a single noise.

She looks at the razor, knowing it's wrong, but thinking it's right.
Thinking it's better.
Better for everyone.

She is just a dissapointment, she thinks.
Worthless.
Unneaded.
Unwanted.

She failed as a friend, she thinks.
As a daughter.
As a student.
As a person.

But that's not the truth.
They distroyed her.
It's not her fault.
It's theirs.
She should see that.
See her perfection and her worth.
But she doesn't.
Because they broke her.

Now she put's the razor to her arm.
Ignoring every reason to stop this.
And she does it.
One cut.
Two cuts.
Three cuts.
Blood is running down her arm, dripping on the floor and her clothes.

Now she's feeling something.
Feeling her strenght leaving.
It's one last cut.
One last thought.
One last tear.
One last breath.
And one person less on this planet.

One person less who could have changed the world.
One person less who had a chance to make this place a better one.
One person less who threw the biggest gift away, life.

Life is a gift.
The world isn't endless.
People won't live here forever.
If you are born, you are very special.
Because there are many trillions of people wanting to live, but not being able to.
They will never be born.
But you were.
Use this one chance to be the person you are meant to be.
The person you are born as.
You are needed.
If you wouldn't have been needed, you wouldn't have been born.