I sat on the edge of Jacob's bed, Cam sitting opposite of me with a blank look.

I couldn't remember how long we'd been sitting like this, face to face without saying a word. Cam had shifted a few times in his computer chair, his eyes drifting from me to the ground and continuing to do it until he finally decided to break the silence.

"Say something." He whispered.

"Why did you do it?" I responded.

"Do what? Kiss you?" He questioned, his head bowing seconds later.

"Not exactly. W. . . why did you kiss me like that?" I tugged at the bottom of my french braid, my eyes falling on to the red rug beneath the wheels of Jacob's computer chair.

"Like what?"

"Impulsively. Like you were acting on your emotions before you thought about them." I answered, realizing just how nervous I was when I caught a reflection of myself in his glasses.

The way he had his head turned, the light was bouncing off his glasses and reflecting my hunched over body in them.

"I knew I couldn't do it if I over thought it, Blake. I. . . I had to it, I had to see what your reaction would be. But I learned my lesson, I know-"

"I didn't pull away because I was repulsed by it, Cam." I cut him off, getting everything off my chest before I could talk myself out of it, "I pulled away because I was shocked, afraid. I didn't understand what was going on."

His head whipped up, his eyes widening behind his thick rimmed glasses. For a second I saw the Cam that I used to pass notes to in middle school, the Cam that always had some sort of sarcastic comment to anything I wrote.

I saw my Cameron for the first time in years.

"You don't have to lie to me, Blake. I'm. . . I think I can work it out now that I-" I grabbed his hand, watching as the words died and his lips started to part in surprise.

Before I could let my thoughts stop me, I forced myself forward and kissed him.

At least that's how it played out in my head, it was far from what really happened.

Instead of having the wonderful grace of closing the gap between us, I tripped over my own foot on the way and landed face first into my best friend's lap.

I felt his entire body tense at the same time mine did, but when I looked up I was shocked to find a smile breaking out across his face. He started laughing as my cheeks flushed, my heart pounding against my chest.

"That was a lot more graceful in my head." I mumbled, starting to move away. He was still too busy laughing to say anything, and after a second, his contagious laughter got to me and I joined in.

He held his hand out to me once he had gained his composure, helping me up. To my surprise he didn't let go of my hand but pulled me closer until I fell on to his lap.

"Was that your attempt to kiss me?" He whispered, brushing a strand of hair off of my red cheek.

"No." I lied, looking away from him in embarrassment.

"Blake, if you wanted to kiss me, you could have just asked." He laughed.

"Touche." I replied. His thumb lingered on my cheek for a second before moving to my jaw, his hazel eyes glistening as he stared down at me with a curious expression.

I closed the gap between us and let my lips fall against his, surprised when my body took control and started to move on its own.

Cam's arm tightened around my waist, pulling me against him as he deepened the kiss.

Everything in me knew this was wrong. I shouldn't be kissing him, my best friend, the only person in the world that knew me better than I knew myself.

But the small part of me in the back of my mind, hidden in the far corner, liked it. I liked feeling Cam's arms tight around me, his lips moving in unison with mine, how close we were.

"Damn." Cam breathed into my ear, catching his breath with a smile. "I guess I can understand why it was so hard for Jacob to resist temptation."

*

It was odd, spending the night in the living room with Cam like nothing had happened upstairs a couple hours ago.

Like we hadn't just made out after I had done everything wrong and made an absolute fool of myself. Like a part of me hadn't liked feeling so close to him, intimate.

Instead, we talked about Cam and his weird obsession with the crappy shows on TLC. We talked like old times, with the exception of him stopping every few minutes to clean a spot on his glasses that didn't seem to want to come off.

"How's being a nerd going for you?" I asked now, laying my head against his shoulder as I shoved my hand into the bag of pretzels on the floor between us.

"It's only been about a month, I'm not sure yet." He shrugged, "I don't see how you can do it, Blake. Keeping your grades up, all the homework and tutoring, and still finding time to volunteer at that homeless shelter on weekends." I smiled, poking his cheek with my pretzel stick.

"It's a great feeling, accomplishment. And seeing how happy they are, it's worth giving up going to the mall." I saw a hint of a smile on his face as he tossed another pretzel in his mouth.

"What about you, Bad Girl? How does it feel?" I shifted a little, staring blankly at the sitcom on the TV.

"It sucks," I responded honestly, "and I don't see how you can do that on a daily basis. Ray is the only one that gives me the time of day, unless they wants to get in my pants or talk a bunch of crap about me behind my back." Cam stared at me, an expectant look on his face. After a second, I got it.

"Oh, crap. Cam, I didn't realize you had-"

"It's fine, really. Like I said, it's just a shitty label that I have to try to live up too. If anything, it's my fault for pretending." I searched his eyes for a second, feeling his hand circle around mine.

"What happens now, Cam?" I asked. He stayed quiet for so long, his eyes trained on the TV, that I didn't think he was going to ever respond. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he turned his head back in my direction.

"I don't know, Blake. I guess we just wait and see what happens next, right?"

*

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of talking. I untangled myself from Cam and my sheets and tiptoed toward my door as quietly as possible. I peeked out, then slipped out of the room and into the hall to see where the mumbling was coming from.

". . . worried about her." I caught the end of my mom's conversation, finding her sitting in the middle of the couch, her face buried in her hands. My father was a few feet away, rubbing her shoulders in a comforting gesture.

"I'm sure she's fine, Missy. She's a teenage girl, she's probably trying to figure things out." He responded. Mom shook her head, a few strands of dark hair coming loose from her messy bun.

"No, James. You don't understand. Blake used to come to me with everything going on in her life. But now. . . I haven't spoken to her in over a month, it seems like she's slipping away." I felt my heart clench a little at the words that left my mom's mouth in a choked whisper.

"She's just trying to adjust to all of this. She's trying to adjust to the thought of me being here, and that boyfriend of hers probably has something to do with it." James wrapped his arm around mom, kissing the top of her head.

Standing there watching them, I could actually feel a little hope starting to spread through my chest. Hope that maybe my life would start to fall back into it's normal routine again. That maybe James would stay for the new baby, that my brother or sister would get to have the father I never did.

"Cameron's not her boyfriend, honey." Mom said with a chuckle "Although, I'm still waiting for the day for them to realize they're crazy about each other."

"See, sweetie. Blake's got a lot of people that love her, and she'll come back to you once she feels that she needs to. I know I have no place to talk about how my daughter is, but if she's anything like you, I know she's probably a little hardheaded and trying to figure everything out on her own." I started to back away as she laughed quietly again, hugging him so her head rested against her chest. I felt a smile tugging at my lips as I quickly moved into my bedroom, shutting my door all the way this time.

I tried to be as quiet as possible as I made my way back to the bed, being as quiet and gentle as I could in hopes Cam wouldn't wake up. I couldn't have been so lucky.

His eyes fluttered open, squinting as if he were trying to get a clearer view of me.

"Everything okay, Blake?" I nodded, kissing his cheek gently before laying back on my pillow and wrapping my arms around myself.

"Yeah, Cam." I looked toward the door, "I think everything's going to be fine." 

***AN***

Hope you guys enjoyed! 

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~ChasingMadness24