I lay covered in sheets my arms wrapped around his body as he slept. This didn't solve anything so why was I so happy. I couldn't help it; I was smiling hopelessly as I watched him sleep. It was as though the last four years had never happened, like we had hit pause on our lives and only now did it start to play again.

We've spent too long away. Our friends have been calling nonstop now, I think they are getting worried and soon I would have to wake P'Arthit. I didn't want to; I wanted to keep living in this dream. This sweet dream, I never want it to end. I couldn't go back to yesterday, heck I couldn't go back to two hours ago. I needed this, needed P'Arthit too much. I knew I loved him before but now I knew I was crazy for him, I couldn't even picture a future without him. I was so done for.

I tried to keep all my worry from my face as he began to stir, his long lashes fluttered and opened then closed before he shyly tries to pull away. "Are you watching me sleep?"

"Yup," I said smiling, "you were drooling, and I just thought it was fascinating."
"That I drool?"

"That you don't care about your image when you sleep, you can't sleep outside like this P'Arthit."
he removed his hands from his face with a puzzled look. "Why?
"Because I don't want people to know how cute you look, drool and all"

"Kongpob," he admonished me and I kissed his cheek with a smile. I could feel his smile and when he looked at me I saw it.

"How can you say these things, don't you feel embarrassed?"
"Nope, not when it feels this good to make you blush."

He shoved at me and shook his head smiling. We heard our phones vibrating on the night stand. P'Arthit sighed before reaching for his. I watched him quietly trying not to make any noise.

He answered the phone with a "what?"

"Why do I have to tell you where I am?"

"Fine fine, I'm coming," so goes the one-sided conversation. I didn't bother picking my call finding it more fun to watch him.

"Kongpob?" my name came up. They were probably asking if he knows where I was. I expected a quick denial. P'Arthit looked at me and held my gaze as he said,"yeah, he is right here with me."

I almost laughed out loud from pure joy. He smiled at me and finished up the call. "They are going sightseeing, we should get dressed."

I grab for him before he could leave, "do we really have to, "I whispered into his neck as I pressed a kiss there and felt him shiver. I didn't know what tomorrow had in store for us, maybe we would just go back to not speaking but I couldn't get enough of being with him and if today was all I had of him then I didn't want to waste it sightseeing and pretending to not be together. It would kill me, really.

"Kongpob, "I could hear the hesitance in his voice even as he refused me, "we can't, everyone is going to wonder what happened and I already told them we are coming."

I kept holding onto him but I nodded. Maybe unlike me P'Arthit didn't think he had to worry about tomorrow. Maybe to him this meant little. It didn't solve anything I already knew that, but was I disappointed? Yes. "Let's go then," I sighed.

I got off the bed and started pulling on my clothes; we didn't have time for a shower.

"Kongpob, "he called after a moment of silence. I turned to him knowing I was being a little unfair. Maybe I should understand, maybe I should let him have all the time he needs to get comfortable. But I kept thinking that if he loved me he didn't need to take so much damn time.

When he said nothing I gave him an inquiry look. He said, "I love you," straight to my face.

Then he went on to dress as if nothing had happened. I was still frozen stiff when he started for the door then I jerked to life and chased him. I wasn't letting him get away. I grabbed his waist and dragged him complaining and yelling back to bed. We topple down with him on top of me. I pushed him to his side as we laughed and I stared into his eyes.

"Say that again, I didn't get it the first time"

He looked away from me blushing and refusing to meet my eyes again. "No way."

"Come on, please?" I tickled him and we laughed together as he squirmed around the bed putting us in a really pleasurable position. I tilted his face back to me and slowly kissed him. When I pulled back he was all red and cute and hid his face in my naked chest.

"I'm not saying it again. Why are always making me say and do things again? No way."

I was laughing at how adorable he was and he pushed me off him. I didn't try to pull him back this time. He made a fuss with straightening his clothes. "I'm leaving you behind. Come out when you are ready."

I guess he was too embarrassed to face me and so he went out without looking at me once. I was smiling all the same. I can't remember when in all these four years I had ever been this happy. Somehow everything was going to be alright. I slowly let my fear of tomorrow go away, pulled on my shirt and walked out the room.

Nothing interesting happened on the trip out to see some places and take selfies, but when we returned P'bright pulled me to the side to talk to me.

He said,"Kongpob, you and Arthit look ok,"

I nodded, not quite sure what he meant. It couldn't be that he figured out that we had been together. That would have been too fast, too specific, although P'Arthit and I didn't try very hard to hide that we were sort of back together again. It would be annoying if P'Bright was trying to take credit for that, he had no idea the emotional turmoil I went through.

I glance towards P'Arthit and found him laughing with our friends in the beach restaurant we had chosen to have lunch/dinner

"I know..." he exhaled. "I was only trying to help and it was not just me. But really it wasn't the only reason for this trip you know. Actually, setting you guys up was just an added incentive to plan this trip. No offense."

I wasn't offended so I shook my head, "although I was a bit harsh I am actually grateful to you guys for this."

"You didn't look very grateful though,"

If he was talking about that morning then yes I was far from grateful. "I think you went a little too far setting up your friend to be molested by an asshole so I could get jealous and try to save him."

"What?" P'bright shook his head, "no, that wasn't me. I would never do that to Arthit."

I blinked, confused. "But you said the bartender called you."

"Yeah and when I got there I didn't see Arthit." He hastily said waving his hands about. "Yes I did get the bartender to get him a bit drunk but I thought you already took him to the room."

"So what happened in the hallway..."

"I thought it was just you and Arthit."

I gaped at him. So that asshole was just another asshole?

Kongpob and Bright finished talking and so I went to him.

"Hey," I said. "You and Bright have been talking a lot lately. What's going on?"

He smiled and leaned into my space and I leaned away, "why, are you jealous?"

I pushed his face away, "as if. Do you want to go back," I gestured to the party going on behind us. It was the last night of our trip and everyone was getting wasted, dancing and being loud. I watched Aim and Pem getting crazy with each howling at the top of their lungs.

A warm hand wrapped around mine, "nah, I think you've already had enough of alcohol and I don't want to waste this moment. Let's walk on the beach."

"Oh," I said and smiled. I didn't pull my hand from his, it was getting dark and everyone else was having fun. "Okay."

We walked a while without saying anything and it wasn't an awkward silence, it was comfortable and easy and suddenly it was four years ago again and there was nothing but our feelings between us and a somewhat unsure but somewhat certain future. I always thought that I would be with Kongpob forever. I never told him this of course, it was implied by my actions, but Kongpob—always with the right words—never stopped telling me.

I looked at him then smiling; he hasn't been that sweet on this trip, maybe he has changed. I hoped not, I liked him just the way he was.

"P'Arthit, "

"hm?" I answered absently, still in my thoughts.

"Is it selfish to not want this to end?" he asked. I met his gaze and he turned to look behind us. There was nothing there in the semi dark length of beach sand and bamboo trees, our friends still dancing away making a lot of noise we could still hear over the distance in bits. "To not want to go back?"

I thought he meant go back to our friends but I immediately felt that it meant going back to our lives before we came back together again. I said," no, " immediately.

He met my eyes as if expecting more so I gave him more in the way I could. "Kongpob, I can't speak for you, I don't know how you've been all these years. Maybe like everyone you've been fine or great."

I met his eyes and found that he was looking directly at me and so intensely. I swallowed and decided it was best not to look at him again. I couldn't think when I did and I might end up saying the wrong things. I wasn't good at this.

"But I was not. I tried really hard to go back to how my life used to be and I couldn't. Every time I ordered pink milk I would think of you. When I wake up you are the first thing on my mind and when I sleep I couldn't stop dreaming about you. I hurt so much I had to move away from that apartment because every where was filled with memories of you. I had to work harder so I would be too exhausted to think about you."

I-I was not okay; Kongpob and now that we are back together again... I know that I don't deserve it and that I didn't do nearly enough for you before, I have so much flaws you will have to put up with and I don't like the attention we would have to face, I'm probably going to run more times but none of that matters because I... love you"

I said it. And once it got out of my system I felt so free and so open and ready to face anything, a smile came to my lips. I met his eyes. "I love you Kongpob. And that's all I care about, you are all I care about and I won't let you go this time. Not without a fight.

After that I realized what he was going to say next so I held him as he started to move and started to explain myself and apologize. "Look, Kongpob, I know I wasn't really as stubborn as I should have been but honestly back there I was stupid and I didn't know—"

He dragged me by my shirt and kissed me. I stayed there in stunned silence staring at his face and closed eyelids. He pulled back and moved in to wrap his arms around me. "Shut up, P''Arthit before you ruin it."

I blinked and tried to step away but he wouldn't let go," Kongpob," I said in warning but he wouldn't listen.

"Aioon," I stopped. "I haven't called you that in so long. I have permission to now right?"

I wasn't sure what he was on about, "yeah, but only when it is just two of us."

He smiled and turned me around so he was pressed front against my back. "You are not going to let go?" I asked.

His arms were still wrapped snuggly around me. People were passing. "Nope."

I sighed and looked at the blue water frothing waves licking the beach sand. He tucked his chin on my shoulder, tickling me with his hair. "You," I complained.

"I love you Aioon," he whispered and kissed my neck. I twisted around to smack him for that but he escaped too fast. "Kongpob! You idiot." I couldn't stop smiling.

We played around the beach first trying to pour sand on each other then Kongpob tried to drag me into the ocean. By the time we were done we were very dirty, wet and our friends had long retired to the hotel.

I kept trying to bring up our future and what would have to happen tomorrow. I was worried we were not clear enough and that we needed to state plainly what our future would be, but I knew what I wanted: a future with Kongpob, a life with him again. I would give anything.

"Let's go back," he told me and I nodded, stood to my feet and stumbled when he suddenly wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Kongpob, "I complained. We were going back to the hotel and there sure were going to be people there staring at us; our friends and strangers all curious and appalled by this display.

"What is it P'Arthit?" he looked oblivious and so I shrugged him off but he grabbed me again and wouldn't let go. He started walking and pulling me along to the hotel.

"Stop it, Kongpob!" I finally had enough and shoved him off me with my shoulder." What are you doing?"

I was amazed by the expression on his face, somehow I had hurt him. "What did I do?" I asked.

He scoffed and smiled," do you really have to ask?"

I wanted to understand but I really didn't. He shook his head at me and walked into my space. Honestly, what was wrong with him?" I thought you said no more running?"

"Running?" I blinked up at him." who is running?"

"you." He slipped a hand around my head and tried to tug my face to him, I resisted.

"Kongpob," I said in a complaining tone. "Can you not? We are in public, it's not right." I looked around to be sure that the pin pricks of eyes I felt on me were my imagination. We were at the centre of the hotel and of course with the bright lights and everything on us I felt as though I was on stage and I started to feel my throat closing up and my chest become too tight. It is four years ago and I am on my way to the stage where Kongpob was singing. He looked so sad with his eyes finding me every few minutes and I knew he was hurting as much as I was and that I didn't want to lose him. I knew this but I could not move. I could only stare and beg in my heart that he would just come back to me, and wish that we were never found out and dragged into this scandal and before I knew it Konngpob was off the stage and gone from my life.

That same feeling came to me then and I couldn't see Kongpob for a few seconds as I focused on the scorn and the mocking and laughter I could hear so loudly and growing closer still.

"P'Arthit!" he shook me and I saw his face again looking at me with concern.

"I'm sorry, "he whispered and I saw he was shaking, his one hand was still around my waist.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He looked incredulously at me.

"you were spaced out and looked...terrified for a moment there," he studied me and his eyebrows pressed down and I thought he would kiss me, "I'm sorry," he said instead and stepped away from me, released me from a hold I discovered had felt really good.

"Why are you sorry?" I couldn't understand him again.

"I pushed too fast. I'm just... too worried that you might go back to hiding what we have again and I pushed you. Are you mad?"
"no," I said," Are you?"

He blinked and speechlessly shook his head.

"Good," I said and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips. I heard gasps and squeals but I tuned them out so I could focus solely on this wonderful man who has endured so much for me and whom I loved more than life.

Author's Note: thanks so much to everyone who stuck around with me to the final page of this story, I am so glad to be here even though it is very sad. this would be my first ever completed story. it is a very short story and there might be a sequel but I can't promise anything. I hope you had fun with this one. There might be one more chapter to wrap this up in a bow so look out for it :)