D A V I N A

“Aren’t you excited?” My mother questioned as the brush she held slowly made its way down my long, dark locks.
I was the last born, and with that came a lot of attention from my mother, at least. She wanted me to reach my fullest potential in her own way, but at times, it made me feel as if it meant I were to morph into her. She had been promised to my father, and while I never doubted their love, I knew it had taken hard work to find love where there was not at the beginning.

I never wished to be wed to someone I did not love, nor to be wed at all but while we didn’t follow all the traditions of royalty, being a devoted wife was one thing we stuck to.
Today was the day I would be meeting the many suitors, or should I say the ones that were left after my mother’s selection process. It had gone quite differently for my sisters because they had fallen in love with the right man who came knocking at our door and were fortunate enough to have him approved by both our father and mother. I never cared to be wed so I would have to learn to love whoever I chose or was led to choose by my mother.

Sometimes, I doubted that my sisters had the cliché love at first sight experience at all, more along the lines of them being consumed by the idea of love and soulmates. I bit my tongue instead of pointing out that perhaps their judgements were clouded, and it served best as they seemed to be well settled down. But from my own experience, all is not always as it seems and living on the same land, with me being quite observant perhaps they should have waited for the second sight instead.

I huffed as my mother tugged harshly at a tangled lock and felt as if she could read my smug thoughts, guilt ran through my veins at being amused with how my sisters may have poorly chosen their suitors.

Where were we before I drifted to my sisters’ choice in men?

It was not that I didn’t trust my mother’s ability to choose the wealthiest or most high regarded men within the lands for me to meet with, it was simply that I did not know what I sought after in a man. I knew I did not want to play second fiddle to him, standing in his shadows my entire life though nor have to pretend that I was happy for the town folk while being miserable behind closed doors.
My birthday was right around the corner and I feared the time stamp it set on my life, I feared my freedom being stripped away by a man that believed a wife to be the one that sat at home all day. I did not see anything wrong with that, I loved my home and being kept away but I also loved riding my horse in the woods, going into town in disguise and visiting the magical waters. If I were barred from those things the world would soon come to know it was all a facade and that the mirror down in the dungeons was right all along…

“More nervous than excited, Mother.” I finally answered with a short sigh and surprised myself at how honest I was.

“What is there to be nervous about, it’s the boys that need to be shaking in their boots in anticipation of meeting my beautiful Davina” She said rather confidently, and I offered a soft smile before I moved towards my bed where the beautiful dress was laid.

“I don’t want to be a princess stuck in a suffocating life just to appease society” I uttered more to myself, but my mother never let a whisper go by without being heard.
“You will be whatever princess you wish to be” She stated, and it was the thing I loved most about my family. My mother never forced us to fit the mold but when it came to traditions she could be overbearing, even if she bent them here and there.
“Yet I am being squeezed into this?” I raised the dress that was quite heavy and covered every inch of my body. We were known for showing our skin and wearing the latest fashionable pieces not known amongst royals yet I felt like I was being taken back to the olden times with the weight of the dress and the corset I was strapped into.

“Just be patient, Davina. Our beauty has conquered in a society that is run by men. My daughters are not only beautiful but intelligent, graceful and more. Show off too much of what you were blessed with and a man’s ego becomes destroyed so do this for now and make yourself appealing to the eye” She took the dress from my hands and lowered it for me to step in.

I could hear the annoyance in my sisters voices that our mother never did this with them, but even though I wasn’t the fairest of them all, I was the youngest and the last one she deemed to need her.
I sighed as I pulled on the sleeves before I was tightened into the dress this time.

“There are so many contradictions. The men ogle us at gatherings because of how sexy or ‘beautiful’ we are yet when they wish to wed us we are forced to be suffocated beneath all this fabric. We do not live in the snow…”

“I can hear your whining down the hall. What is going on… Oh.” My eldest sister, Anthea, entered the room and took in the dress my mother had helped me into much to my annoyance. “Is it that time already? My baby is all grown up”

“Unfortunately.” I groaned which caused a giggle to escape her while my mother tightened the dress even more when I hadn’t even known that were possible.

“Mother!”

“Maybe having better posture will stop you from making crude comments in the presence of your suitors” The humor evident in her voice which caused my sister to smirk and me to shake my head.

“I am always respectful!” I playfully narrowed my eyes as I knew I could be all over the place but that was only ever with the ones I held dear to me.

“I know. I simply want you to realize how important this is for you. I know you may not want this as much as any one else but while we have broken barriers, there are certain things that we cannot shake.” She reminded me of the societal customs and the concern in her voice was not lost on me.

“Like getting married and having a boatload of kids to run around and annoy everyone within the castle…” Anthea mused as she made herself comfortable on my bed, the very kids I could hear running around downstairs that would soon be sent outside and hushed to be hidden from our guests.

“Easy for you to say. You fell in love with your prince I will have to learn to love mine” I pointed out, her union was in fact one I admired due to the fact that they indeed seemed to be made for one another, kindred spirits.

“There is nothing wrong with that” My mother added and I hoped I hadnt offended her by my complaint.

“There is not but for someone that is not even the least bit a fan of being in love with another it would be quite difficult”

“That’s why they call it growing up. We must suck it up sometimes and do what society wants, and hopefully it will lead to greater things. It could be love at first sight?”

“Maybe” I sighed and moved to the large mirror and took myself in.

I felt like an imposter all over again, so neatly put together beneath layers of fabric, my true self suffocated within the corset.
Is this what my life would be like once I was to wed to another?

°°°

“You do know that its okay to breathe, right?” Anthea whispered as she stood closely beside me for moral support I gathered as she hadn’t left my side as we stood waiting for the arrival of my first suitor.

“Kind of hard to remember that when the life is being squeezed out of me” I muttered as I tried tugging at the strings behind me, and she quickly pushed my hand down.

“The way you are nervous you would swear that you actually cared about these things” She rolled her eyes.

“I do” I whispered and tried my best to not reveal the weight of the emotion behind the answer.

“Since when?” She questioned a little too loudly which caused our parents to glance back at us from the door. She smiled apologetically before turning her attention towards me once more.

“Since my birthday is almost here and I will have to be wed to whoever ends up appeasing mom here tonight and spend the rest of my life pretending that I love them” I sighed heavily but even that felt constricted by the contraption meant to suck the life out of me.

I noticed the brief concern for me on her face which caused me to look away, “You shouldn’t say things like that. Maybe you wont have to pretend. There are many cute boys…”

Boys…

“I don’t want cute boys, I don’t want anyone. I would be perfectly fine being the spinster of the family” I half groaned and felt as if the room were becoming smaller, I hated being confined.

“Do you really think mother would allow that? You’re too gorgeous to be locked away anyway…” She shook her head just as I heard my mother announce that the first suitor had arrived.

♡♡♡

It's been almost two years since I updated this book and I am very very sorry about that. I am excited for this one, I am not sure if anyone is into it at this point but pls let me know in the comments if you are keen on this book continuing 💜