Y/N

_

"Don't look at me like that," Tony said, setting his sunglasses down on the table beside him, "you look like an abandoned puppy."

I had done what he had asked, and returned back to the tower for another one of his experiments. I didn't like that word, but I was more worried about making myself noncompliant to care.

If Tony said he could help me, I had to take it. He was the only one with enough tech and knowledge to do so.

"Do I really have to get inside that thing again?" I frowned, pointing at the glass box next to me.

"Yes, you do."

"Why?"

"Because you might lash out again, and I'd rather not have you running around the tower in homicidal rage."

"I'd only lash out if you read Sputnik again," I retorted, "so don't do that, and we'll be fine."

Tony narrowed his eyes, partially in disbelief and partially in disappointment. He only looked at me like that when he knew I was wrong about something. I didn't think I was wrong.

"That's where you're mistaken," he said, "I don't think that 'little chant' is the only thing that triggers you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Get in the glass cage, and we'll see if I'm right."

Letting out an angry huff, I did as he said, and stomped through the transparent doors. Once Tony had locked the door behind me, he pointed towards a tiny laptop sitting in the far corner of the box.

That definitely wasn't there before.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y picked a random selection of choices that have been tied to you before," Stark explained, "you have to choose between two options, and we'll see if your other side still has some control over your choices."

"So you want me to take a poll?"

"If that's what you call it, then sure."

Turning my head to look at the laptop, I watched as two squares popped up on the screen. One was red, and one was blue.

go to school or go to training

That was a simple question. Would I rather go to a hell-hole full of judgmental teenagers, or go to train my combat skills? Easy, training.

Tapping the blue button on the right, I waited for the next set of questions to appear.

work alone or work in a team

That was slightly harder than the last one. I liked Steve and Bucky, sure, but I found working alone easier. Got more stuff done in less time.

knives or no knives

Knives. They were incredibly useful.

kill for money or kill for revenge

Okay... what? This escalated quickly.

"Do I have to answer this one?" I said, turning to look at Tony, "I'd rather not kill anyone at all."

The man nodded his head, "just answer it."

Biting my lip, I read the questions again. Whenever I was sent to kill, it wasn't for money or revenge. I had no choice. This was giving me a choice to kill, and I had no choice but to choose.

I just couldn't bring myself to answer. Closing my eyes, I chose blindly, unsure of what I picked. The next question was worse than before.

Steve or Bucky

"I'm not answering that," I said, backing away from the computer, "I don't care what you say, Stark."

The man picked up a pen from beside him, and began to jot something down, "just answer it, it's not that hard."

"How is it not hard?"

"Just pick whoever you like best."

"I can't do that! They're both my best friends!"

Tony furrowed a brow, his eyes glancing down at my hand. It was only then that I realized I had it curled up into a fist. I didn't remember doing that...weird. He wrote something else down, and pointed at the laptop.

"Fine," he said, "I'll let you skip that question."

"Thank you."

"But that means you have to answer the next one, no exceptions."

"Fine, fine, sure, whatever."

I turned back to the computer, but instantly regretted what I said.

Peter or Bucky

"Are you insane?" I scowled, "I'm not going to pick between them!"

"No exceptions, [y/n]."

"I can't do that!"

"Why not?" Tony said, pursing his lips, "you've known Bucky for longer, haven't you?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Then why don't you just pick him?"

He had a point. I'd known Bucky longest, and he meant a lot to me. But I couldn't bring myself to choose him over Peter. Somehow, in the span of over a week, Peter made himself just as important as someone I had known my whole life.

And that's why I couldn't choose.

"I don't want to play this game anymore," I said, shaking my head, "let me out of here."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Tony said.

"Why not?"

"You have to answer the question first."

"Let me out!" I urged, planting my fist against the glass, "you can't do this to me!"

I didn't know why I was getting so agitated over this. It was just the familiar environment, I guess. Trapped, alone, forced to do something I desperately didn't want to do.

Tony started to write something else down, "you're getting angry again."

"I know! Because of this stupid poll you want me to take!"

"Calm down."

"Just let me out!"

This time I lunged towards the door, and tried to pull it open. The lock was too tightly bound, and I couldn't reach it from where I was.

"Don't let your defense mechanisms consume you," he said, "try to think of your tunnel vision."

Slumping onto the ground, I curled myself up into a ball and tried to do as he said. My blood was boiling hot, and I hated it. If I had gotten so easily worked up over a question, maybe I wasn't as in control of myself as I thought.

1943, 1943, I thought to myself, 1943, 1943...

It wasn't working. It wasn't working at all. I felt even angrier just thinking about it. It made me think about the life I could have had. It made me feel lost. It made me feel more alone.

"Interesting," Tony said abruptly, setting down his clipboard, "I think that's enough testing for today."

"You think?" I spat out, narrowing my eyes.

He didn't respond, but instead unlocked the glass cage. I brushed past him in spite, my mood worse than it had ever been in the whole week.

"You can go," he said, "I'll call you when I need you next."

Nodding my head, I walked towards the hallway, my nerves still jolted. I felt unbalanced. Really, really, unbalanced. Before I made it out the doorway, I stopped myself.

"What do you think?" I mumbled, turning around.

Tony raised an eyebrow, "what do you mean?"

"Do you think I can change?"

I wanted to know if he believed it. If he could believe it, maybe the rest of the world could. Maybe I was just seeking validation. Either way, I just wanted to know.

Tony picked up his sunglasses, sliding them gracefully onto the bridge of his nose.

"I don't think I can answer that," he said, "you're the only one who can."