SAM's POV

~Wednesday, Finals Week~

It's the last week of school, and all of the classes had final exams. Luckily, students didn't have to be in class during the full week. We only have to show up for our classes' selected date and time slots. Mrs. Raymond's Spanish 3 exam is scheduled for Wednesday - today - at 8:00am.

The thought of seeing Jake again after we broke up only a few days ago makes me anxious. I cried my eyes out after it happened. Even though I was the one that decided we weren't gonna work out, I'm still so surprised how fast everything went. One minute we're cuddling on the couch reminscing over high school and the next minute we're arguing over our feelings. And that kiss between me and Diggy... I don't know what to make of it. I told Becca about my breakup with Jake, but I haven't even told her how Diggy kissed me! I'm just hoping that we can forget anything even happened.

I tiptoe into Spanish class, breathing a sigh of relief as I notice I'm one of the first ones there with no sight of Jake or Diggy. I take my seat and glance at the empty seat beside me belonging to Jake. How are we gonna share a seat after what happened? I try to calm my breathing while taking a long drink of water.

"Morning, Sam," Julie takes her seat with a smile on her face. She looks like she had a good weekend. That makes one of us...

"Oh, hey," I reply, clearing my throat.

Julie takes out her pencils, perfectly sharpened, then glances my way. "Is this your first final?"

"Yeah," I nod. "How about you?"

"Same. I have this one and then my writing class later today."

"Cool," I nod while occasionally glancing towards the door and shifting in my seat. Then I see Diggy enter and my heartbeat starts racing as I avoid his eyes. He takes his seat next to Julie as they amicably greet each other.

"You ready for this exam?" He asks.

"100%," Julie giggles. "You ready for our writing exam later today?"

"Yeah. That should be pretty easy, no? We just have to write an essay, and we get two hours to do it."

"I wonder what the topic will be about..."

After a small pause, I hear the sound of his backpack zipping up before he asks: "Hey, Sam. You ready?"

I knit my eyebrows together while biting down on my lip. I nod. "Mhm..."

"How have you been? I tried texting you this weekend but you weren't replying..." He rubs the back of his neck and chuckles. "I started to get worried."

"Oh... uh, my mom is getting us a new phone plan, so our phone wasn't working, like, half the time, and then we had to redownload data and everything. It was annoying..." I lied while fidgeting in my seat. I couldn't tell him that I purposely avoided his messages.

"Oh... okay. It's working alright now?"

"Mhm." I nod and pretend to busy myself at my desk.

Diggy gives me a smirk with no further questions. That's right. He doesn't even know about the breakup either - at least, I don't think he does. I don't think Jake would've told anyone, but you never know.

Time quickly passes. There are only five minutes until our exam starts but Jake hasn't appeared yet. I don't know if I'm relieved or worried. Mrs. Raymond reminds us to turn our phones on silent; as I dig in my backpack to do so, that's when Jake suddenly appears beside me. My heart stops as I look at his tired face. He only glances at me with no words before eyeing Diggy. I expected Diggy to give him a friendly greeting, but he doesn't... thank goodness. I'm scared of what Jake would do if they interacted with one another.

The entire exam period was filled with tension and anxiety. I could barely focus on the questions because I was so aware of Jake and Diggy next to me. I really need to get out of here ASAP.

***

DIGGY's POV

As soon as that bell rang, Sam got up from her seat with her backpack in hand and gave her Spanish exam to the teacher before quickly leaving the classroom. She didn't say bye to anyone. She just left while avoiding eye contact, which is really odd. She didn't even talk to Jake like she usually does.

I glance over at Jake, trying to read his expressionless face. "Hey, uh... you know what's up with Sam?"

He eyes me while gathering his belongings, then snickers. "I think you'd know more than me since you love butting into other people's relationships..." Jake replies in a nasty tone which catches me off guard.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask with a frown.

"Nothing..." Jake sighs and exits the classroom along with the rest of the class. I'm too stunned to speak as I glance at Julie.

"That was tense..." Julie remarks.

"No kidding."

"What did you do?" She jokes as she bumps my arm.

"Me? I didn't do anything. I haven't spoken to Jake since prom..." Then the realization sets in. Does he know about the kiss?

"Hm. Well, he seemed mad about something. Let's get a snack before the next class, okay?" Julie grins at me as I follow her out of the classroom, lost in thought.

***

Our Writing 101 exam was a 500-word essay about our passion. It was pretty easy. I just wrote about my love for basketball and how I dream about playing pro after college. After I turned in my essay, I sat at my desk and read a book until it was time to leave. But I was stuck on the same page for an hour, distracted by the thought of Jake possibly finding out that I kissed Sam. That has to be why he gave me the cold shoulder - Sam, too. 

I haven't talked to Sam since prom either. Like I promised, I didn't tell anyone about our kiss. Not even Khalil! But I can't keep secrets from him for too long. He's my best friend, and if I can't be honest with him, who else can I be honest with? Definitely not my mom or dad. And definitely not Julie, although she was the one who encouraged me to talk to Sam in the first place. I just have to wait and bottle these feelings up until I get some feedback from Sam.

***

After our exam, I agreed to walk with Julie to the gym to peep at the cheer squad's rehearsal. I was a bit surprised to see her interested in the squad again since she got kicked off the team. I guess she's in a good mood. Or maybe she's nostalgic. When we enter the gym, the girls are in a huddle near the sideline, getting a pep talk from Becca. Julie and I remain near the back of the gym and observe from the bleachers.

I glance at her and ask, "Do you miss it?"

She looks at me with bright eyes. "Cheering? Yeah..." She grins.

"They should've never kicked you off the team. You were amazing out there," I say.

"Thanks, Daniel... but it was for the best. It gave me time to think about what I truly wanted to do. And time to take care of my health," Julie says while rubbing her pregnant belly. She still doesn't look six months. "You know, those rumors really messed me up... I've never felt so depressed in my life. It felt like everything was falling apart."

I shake my head as the cheer squad breaks into applause while hugging each other. I spot Becca chatting with some of the girls while Dana runs over to Chris waiting for her on the sidelines. They embrace and share a kiss. "I still can't believe what he did to you. Saying all this stuff like he cared about you only to throw you under the bus."

"I learned my lesson. Trust actions, not words. Chris never treated me with respect. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. I'm ashamed to say that I ever liked him," Julie reveals, then she places a hand on my thigh and grins. "But I'm not ashamed of ever dating you. You showed me that I was worthy of respect, and defended me even when I was wrong. You showed me the true meaning of love and friendship, and I'll never forget that."

Her eyes sparkle as they fill with tears. I grin back at Julie and dab her eyes with the sleeve of my jacket. "Ah... stop crying. I forgot how sensitive you can be."

Julie giggles as she shoos my hands away. "My mascara." She quickly pulls out a tissue from her bag and dabs at her eyes. "I'm not sensitive... I'm human."

"Ah... touche," I chuckle in response.

A few moments later, Becca walks up to us on the bleachers with a huge smile. "Mi familia! Hi!" Julie stands up and gives Becca a hug; I do the same as we climb down from the bleachers onto the gym floor. "What are you doing here? Did you have a final?"

"Mhm. I wanted to see you one last time before graduation," Julie says with a smile.

"Ah, that's so sweet!" Becca replies.

"Do you have plans after this?" Julie asks as we start walking out of the gym.

"No. Just studying for my final tomorrow. Why? Y'all wanna get into something crazy?" Becca's face brightens up as she starts shimmying.

"You read my mind," Julie giggles.

"Say less! I'm down for anything. What about you, Diggy? You wanna hang too?"

"You know what? I'm gonna let y'all bond 'cause it sounds like a girls' night. I might kick it with Khalil later, so don't worry about me."

"Aww..." Julie pouts while looking at me.

"Hey, suit yourself!" Becca squeals which causes Julie to giggle.

"I'll walk y'all to your cars though," I grin as we head further down the school hallway.

"Aw, what a gentleman," Becca remarks.

"I know, right?" Julie giggles.

***

SAM's POV

~The Next Day~

"Sam! You got a letter in the mail..." My mom's voice shouts from downstairs.

"Who is it?" I bark back while getting up from my bed and walking downstairs. "Is it money? Lord knows I could use some more..." I reach the bottom of the stairs where she's waiting for me with a serious look on her face.

"I think it's from your dad..." My mom replies as I carefully take the letter from her hands.

I return upstairs and decide to read the letter while lying on my bed. The return address is from 'Charles Goode' from the 'Northeast Rehab Center' in some city in New York. A rehab center? Is this where my dad is now?

I take a big breath before ripping open the letter, taking out a couple of pages of lined notebook paper folded in fourths. I glance over the handwriting, easily recognizing my dad's perfect penmanship. He was always into writing letters growing up. He'd make a habit of writing his friends and relatives personal holiday cards to send out each year.

I take in another big breath before reading the letter.

In the letter, my dad explains how he moved back with his family in New York to attend rehab for his gambling addiction. He's currently at a treatment center in rural Putnam County. He describes it as a nice little place along the lake, surrounded by trees and nature. The patients share rooms with each other and have three meals a day. He says that it's nice. He says that the place gives him time to think about his past and his regrets, like hurting mom and I by gambling away the family's savings, and hurting his other wife by staying out late and gambling some more when they lived in Las Vegas. He revealed that the wife he left us for divorced him and refused to help him pay back his debts... serves him right, no? So he had no one to turn to except for his family in New York.

He went on to give this long apology about being immature before he divorced mom, and he regretted not reaching out to me after all these years. He had a long list of regrets. He wished he could watch me play basketball as a Freshman, come to my games, and take me to the school dances. He was happy when he saw me on television signing my acceptance letter to UCLA, and he bragged about me to his roommates at the treatment center. He said that seeing me on TV gave him hope to be a better person and to shake his addiction. Finally, he said how he hoped to be invited to my graduation before ending the letter with 'Love from your proud daddy, Charles'.

After reading the letter, I remain in bed looking up at the ceiling. I don't know how to feel. I've been curious about my father since he left us, and now I feel like I have some answers that I didn't have years ago. For example, I didn't realize he had a gambling problem. I feel sorry for him but I also feel numb. If only he was honest about everything, him and mom could've stayed together and worked it out. He didn't have to leave us and marry another woman because it got too hard. I mean, he caused this mess himself, so he should clean it up. I wanna have sympathy for him... but my heart is guarded. If he really loved me, he would've shown me while he was away. He would've updated me about how he was doing. He wouldn't have left in the first place!

His absence affected me a lot. After he left, trusting people, especially guys, became harder, and my whole mood became sour. High school was supposed to be a highlight of my life, but instead, it was more bitter than it should've been because I was missing the love of a parent. I was on guard 24/7. I didn't care about anything except basketball; I completely nose-dived into the sport with no regard for others around me. But look at me now... I'm stronger and better even without him. It's too late. I don't need him anymore.

Plus, things are so different now. I've finally gotten used to Antonio as a father figure, and now my dad decides to reach out? It's weird. There are too many emotions and questions within me. Part of me wants to cuss him out and remind him of his wrongdoings... the other part doesn't want to fight anymore. I just want to start my adult life with no regrets! I'm going to be a college basketball player - my dream since childhood. I'm gonna live in another city for the first time in my life. I'll be away from Mama G for several months. It's all so new. In addition, I just broke up with my first real boyfriend... and it hurts. I have to adjust to this new lifestyle and I don't have the energy to add another layer of drama on top of it.

"Sam? Can I come in?" My mom knocks on my door and lets herself in. She studies me for a second before speaking. "What's the letter say?"

I sigh and toss the letter aside. "Just a bunch of this and that. You can read it."

She steps to my bed and takes the letter, scanning it quietly.

"He wants me to invite him to graduation," I say. "Kinda too late for that. I don't think he deserves to see me in person. He hasn't even been here, but suddenly he wanna show up to my celebration like he cares? Skip that!"

"Oh, I feel you... but that's still your father. He just wants to celebrate your achievements because he's proud of you," my mom explains.

I cut my eyes at her. "Are you taking his side now?"

"No, baby, not at all. I'm just saying... at least he's showing interest. Even if it feels too late. Ultimately, the decision is up to you. I'm not gonna force you to invite him. I don't even think I'd want to see him myself..." my mom mumbles the last part.

"Good." I fold my arms and scowl.

"But... " She continues, "Consider sending him some graduation pictures. That way it's like a win-win. He can see you and have something to remember you by, but you're still keeping your comfortable distance. And he can't try to complain that I'm keeping you from him or some nonsense like that."

"...I don't know..." I sigh. "I'm just over everything."

My mom reaches down and rubs my head. "Well, think about it. There's no rush. The ball's in your court. I just hope you know how very proud of you I am, and that feeling will never go away for as long as I live." She places a kiss on my forehead.

"Thanks, mom..."

***

~Two Days Before Graduation~

Me and Becca were sprawled out on my bed chatting about the past week. We'd just finished eating massive ice cream sundaes and passed out due to our food comas. Both of us were feeling sleepy.

"You still haven't told me why you and Jake broke up," Becca says while rolling onto her stomach, eyeing me. "I never would've expected that!"

"Sorry, I haven't told you yet. A lot happened - plus, I had to study for finals. It was a hectic week!" I groan while hugging a pillow to my chest.

"Tell me about it! I'm super glad everything's over though. We're finally graduating high school in less than 48 hours! Ahhhhh!" Becca squeals.

"Shhh! Antonio's taking a nap..." I remind her.

"Oh, sorry. Girl, it's 4 o'clock. He's napping at this time of day?"

"He's been working overtime like crazy this week so he can take time off next month for him and my mom's honeymoon/family vacation..."

"Oooh! That sounds fun! Where ya going?"

"We're gonna go on a cruise from Manhattan to Georgia, making little stops along the East Coast for two weeks."

"OMG! How fun! I'm jealous!"

"You can take my spot..." I offer.

"You don't wanna go?" Becca asks, looking shocked.

"Mm. Not really in the mood..."

"I think it'll be good for you. Lots of time to just relax and let all your worries flow with the sea..." Becca smiles. "It'll give you time to rejuvenate before you have to head to Los Angeles for basketball camp."

"Eh... we'll see..."

"Okay. Seriously. Spill the beans! I'm tired of seeing you so BLAH these days. Your mood would totally be better if Jake was here."

"Well, he's not... and it's all my fault."

"What do you mean?!"

I roll over to my side and look at her. "I'm the one that broke up with him."

"What happened?"

I sigh, feeling irritation in my veins. "Diggy happened."

"Come on, chica! My brain is like mush right now. I don't have time for guessing games!"

After a small moment of silence, I squeeze my eyes shut and reply: "Diggy kissed me..."

Becca lets out the biggest gasp and covers her mouth. Her eyes are so wide I think they're gonna bust out of her head! "Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh..."

"Shut up!"

"Okay..." I shrug and roll onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. She hits my arm.

"Don't shut up. Tell me more!"

I sigh. "I kissed him back... that's why we broke up."

"No way! You kissed Diggy?! When the heck did this even happen?!" Becca exclaims while quickly sitting up, jumping to her knees. 

"During prom." I explain to her the sequence of events leading up to the kiss. "I told him not to tell anyone because I was scared of what would happen. But I felt too guilty, so I told Jake."

"No way..." Becca gasps. "How did he take it? What did he say?"

"Honestly, he was more mad at Diggy than me. He trusted that I wouldn't have stepped out on him, which is true! I would never kiss some guy while I was in a relationship. I felt so horrible."

"But ya did. Like, how the heck did that happen? And with Diggy?!"

"I know! I feel so bad about breaking Jake's heart..." I pout while squeezing my pillow even tighter.

"Jeez... so you broke up with Jake because of the kiss?"

I nod.

"I mean, did it mean anything? Did you feel anything?" She asks.

"...maybe? I don't know. It happened so fast. It was weird."

"Hmph. Well... if it didn't mean anything... I wouldn't have broken up with him. Unless you're planning to start dating Diggy now." She shrugs.

"No way! I don't even see him in that way..." I reply with a shiver. "And I had to do it, Becca, or my conscious would've eaten me up..."

"Hm. You may not see Diggy in a romantic light, but does Diggy see you in that way?"

My eyes widen as I remember our conversation. "Yeah... I didn't tell you... he also said that he liked me more than a friend."

Becca gasps and hits my arm. "NO WAY! SAM! NO WAY!"

"Shh!" I frown while glancing at my closed bedroom door, expecting Antonio to barge in and complain about the noise.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Shhh, Becca!"

She suddenly snickers to herself while clapping her hands and bouncing on the bed, a smirk on her face. "Hahaha! I knew it! I called it years ago! I told you I always felt some tension between you two. Ugh!" She pauses, suddenly looking sad. "It sucks that Jake had to be in the middle of it though. He's such a good guy..."

"I feel like a horrible person..."

"Wait. Have you and Diggy spoken since then?"

"Nope. Nothing," I reply. "What am I supposed to say? I didn't even tell him we broke up because of him..."

"I think y'all need to talk it out. Like, what is he supposed to think if you say nothing? He could get the wrong idea and assume you broke up with Jake to be with him, and then he'd get his hopes up just to have 'em shot down again!" Becca explains.

"...that's a good point," I reply with a raised eyebrow. "But Dig knows I don't like him. I told him."

"Did you?"

"I mean, not in those specific words... but he should know! He's the one that kissed me, not the other way around. I didn't initiate anything," I say in defense. There's no way that Diggy would think I ever liked him. Ever.

"But you kissed him back, right?" Becca replies with a roll of her neck. "You might be able to fool yourself, honey, but you can't fool me. I think it's time to be truthful to yourself and figure out where your true feelings lie."

I search Becca's eyes as her words float around in my head. 

I don't like Diggy...

He's my best friend...

But I can't seem to forget those butterflies in my stomach when he kissed me...

What does it mean? Have I been suppressing feelings for him this whole time?

There's no way! That would be crazy... right?