Chapter Twelve.

JUSTIN:

            The sunlight through the window hit my eyelids, a small groan coming out of my mouth because I didn't want to wake up. All you could hear was the chirping of the birds and the volume of the television from the movie I forgot to turn off. As soon as the movie came to mind, I immediately opened my eyes to find Reina sound asleep in my arms. Literally nothing else mattered right now except this.

            Her long hair was draped over my shoulder and her arms were wrapped tightly around my chest. I remember falling asleep with her last night but right now, I felt like I was on cloud nine. It's been so long since I've woken up to her like this. It's been so long since we were like this.

            "Well look what we have here!" Mark shouted, causing Reina to stir. I felt like killing him. All I wanted was to stay in this moment for just two more minutes.

            "Shut up!" I hissed through gritted teeth. "She's still sleeping."

            But she wasn't anymore because her eyes opened up before they settled on me. Once they did, she smiled and that made my heart stop. I didn't want her to get up. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms some more.

            "Mark you're so loud." She groaned, pulling me closer to her. "Go away."

            "Yeah." I chuckled. "Go away Mark."

            Rolling his eyes, he headed towards the kitchen and I let out a sigh of relief. I'm glad she didn't regret falling asleep next to me either.

            "What time is it?" She asked tiredly.

            "Like nine thirty I think. Why?"

            "Shit!"

            She unwrapped her arms from around my waist and stood up from the couch, searching around for her phone, which had fallen into my sweatshirt pocket by mistake.

            "Here." I said, passing it over to her. "What's wrong?"

            "I have class at ten. I gotta go."

            Our amazing morning was just ruined because of stupid school and when she looked at me as if she wanted to say something about last night I thought I should say something first. The problem was that I couldn't. I didn't know what to say because I told her we were friends, not anything more.

            "Bye?" She said, it coming out more of a question.

            "Yeah. Uh, bye Reina. Have a nice class."

            She was irritated with me and I could tell. I think she wanted me to ask her to come over later or to say anything but silence but it was awkward. We haven't done that in so long so I didn't say anything to her. I just watched her put on her shoes and leave.

 ———-

            "Strike!" Colby laughed when all the pins knocked down. "Hell yeah!"

            Grabbing another slice of pizza, I bit into it and just rolled my eyes at him. I had to admit, I was pissed because now I was in second, but in the end it was just a game. Mark was the one that was more pissed off than I was.

            "It's bullshit." Mark said. "He's cheating."

            "Mark shut up." I laughed. "He's not cheating. He's just winning. Stop being a sore loser man."

            It was guys' night for us. No girls, just all of us chilling out and having a good time. Lately it's been difficult to get just us together but Scott suggested we go bowling tonight, something we haven't done in months. I remember last year when Reina and I went bowling and she beat me. God, that was embarrassing.

            "I'm not being a sore loser. There's no way in hell he can get three strikes in a row."

            "Believe it." Colby chuckled, sitting down at our table. "It's your turn buddy."

            It looked like Mark was going to punch Colby at any given second but instead of that, he just stood up and went to pick up his ball.

            "What I'd like to know is what happened this morning." Scott smirked, tapping me on the arm so I would pay attention. "Mark told us what he saw. What's going on man?"

            "Nothing's going on. Last night she was tired so I let her fall asleep and then she just asked me to sleep with her. It's nothing."

            They could all tell it was something. I was speaking so fast because I was nervous and when they didn't say anything in response; I just let out a sigh and put my face in my hands.

            "Fuck. I don't know what I was thinking, okay? I'm trying to take things slow with her. I'm trying. She just wanted to lay on me and a year ago that was nothing. It just felt natural but I keep forgetting that I have to take things slow for my recovery. It's hard. Beyond hard."

            "Your dick?" Colby chuckled. "Bet that was too."

            "Colby do you have any idea how hard it is to go without sex? Like any idea?  Do you know what I wanted to do when her head was on my lap? I wanted to fucking whip my dick out and shove it in her mouth. Fuck, I was horny. I still am."

            "Jesus." Scott said, giving me a confused glance. "If you feel this way about her and you know you want to be with her then just tell her."

            "I can't. That's the problem here. The psychologist told me that I needed to-"        

            "Fuck the psychologist!" Colby said. "Just get laid!"

            "Colby you don't understand. All you care about is getting your dick sucked by anyone. Reina's more than that and I can't just get laid and pretend like there won't be an attachment. I have a huge attachment to her and the moment I kiss her or have sex with her is when I'm not going to be able to stay away."

            "You haven't even kissed her?" Scott asked. "Seriously?"

            "I know! It's killing me man. I don't know what to do about it. I haven't even told her the real reason I'm keeping my distance from her. I haven't told her about how I'm afraid that I'll cut again. I don't want her to think that it's her fault. It's not."

            "Justin it's your turn." Mark said, pissed that he didn't get a strike.

            "Maybe if you just-"

            "Scott can you and I talk about this back at the house or something? I don't feel like talking about it here."

            Standing up from the chair, I took another bite of pizza and went to take my turn. 

A/N:

I'm sorry it took so long to update and i'm sorry this chapter was so short!!

i will update sooner than i usually do because of updating so late.

Comment and let me know what you thought!!

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