JUSTIN:

            The white walls of this room are blinding. They have been blinding for the past four months. No windows, no technology, no anything. I guess you could say that I’ve grown accustomed to the whole rehab bullshit.

            Basically rehabs are as horrible as everyone says they are. You are completely taken away from everything you’ve ever known and you’re stripped of the clothing you wear, you’re stripped of any connection you have with the outside world, and for months you’re forced to sit with a counselor or in some shitty group and discuss your problems. Granted, these past four months have been a life changing experience, but still. Rehabs are shitty.

            “So today’s your last day.” Nurse Patterson smiled, closing the door to my room gently behind her. “Are you excited?”

            My bags were sitting on the white sheets behind me because every damn thing in this rehab center was white. At first, the thought of leaving made me the happiest person alive. I used to count down the days in my head when I first got here until I lost track of time. Now I’m not so sure just how I’ll do on my own. It’s certainly going to be different.

            “Could you ask if I could speak to Dr. Mike before I leave? There are just some things I need to talk to him about.”

            “Of course.” She responded with that huge smile of hers. “Just one moment.”

            Letting out a sigh of relief once she was gone, I began to look around my room. I looked at the pictures I had brought in here of Scott and I and the guys. I remember saying my goodbye’s to them before summer started and I especially remember Scott bringing me to check in. When school ended, I knew that I needed to get out of Toronto and get away from the bitter remains of my past. Staying in Toronto would only make me worse and I needed help.

            “Justin.” Dr. Mike announced, closing the door to my room behind him. “What did you want to discuss?”

            I watched him pull over a plastic chair that was placed in the corner and guess what? It was white.

            “Well as you know, I start school back up again next week. Getting out of this place is exciting but once I’m back there I just don’t know what I’ll do if-“

            “You see Reina?” He asked. “Is that what you’re worried about?”

            My heart dropped a little at her name that has been mentioned in numerous counseling sessions. All I could do was just nod my head and stare down at my hands.

            “I just don’t know what to do when I see her. When we last spoke, it wasn’t a good experience. I mean, I think she was at the hospital when I overdosed but I don’t remember much. When I woke up she never came to visit me again but you already know this. Sorry. I just keep repeating myself.”

            I sighed, bringing my gaze down to the floor.

            “It’s always okay to talk about what you’re feeling Justin. You know what the right thing to do will be if that situation occurs but I want you to also remember what you agreed with me on. In order for you to stay on a healthy track and make a successful recovery at school you’re going to need to be by yourself for a bit. I know you have a resentment towards Reina but you also have to keep in mind that she did what she thought was best. Don’t you feel better now?”

            “Yeah. I feel better. There’s just no amount of counseling sessions you can give me to try and explain to me why she left though. There was no reason for it.”

            “I think she just wanted the best for you.”

            There was a part of me that felt like going on another rant session like I have in about fifteen of these damn talks with him but I didn’t because I wanted to get out of here. I still am bitter towards Reina and I don’t think I’ll be able to get over that easily. It’s going to take a hell of a long time to even want to see her again.

-------- 

            Scott was waiting for me as soon as I stepped outside of the gates. His back was leaned up against the door of his Honda Civic, a smile coming onto his face as he watched me roll my suitcase down the sidewalk. It feels like forever since I’ve seen him and although my mom wanted to be the one to pick me up, I said I wanted Scott to. It’d just be easier since we’re both going back to the same place.

            “You look so good man!” He laughed, his hand giving me a slap on the shoulder. “It’s good to see you.”

            “Yeah. It’s good to see you too Scott.”

            I felt awkward and out of place almost. I felt like so much has changed even though it’s only been four months.

            Once my suitcase was placed in the backseat, I clambered in beside him and when the radio turned on I had no idea what song it was. Like I said before, we weren’t allowed to listen to music.

            “So tell me how it was.” He smirked, most likely knowing my answer.

            “It was horrible. All I did was eat crummy food and go to counseling sessions. I wasn’t even allowed to watch hockey, Scott. They even banned hockey.”

            “Damn. Well hey, you already seem ten times happier. It’s really good to see you like this Justin.”

            “It’s good to feel like this. As horrible as that place was, it allowed me to take some time for myself. Some of the counseling sessions talked about ways to stop yourself from thinking about well, you know, and they work man. I’m telling you they do.”

            As he put his signal on to turn onto the freeway, I kept my thoughts about her at bay. I wanted to ask him so much. I wanted to ask him if she had a boyfriend or if she was still thinking about me. There are so many unanswered questions even though I don’t want to see her. Just because I don’t want to see her doesn’t mean I don’t care. It just means I’m taking care of myself too. 

            “How’s Casey?” I asked when he didn’t answer my previous statement. “Is she good?”

            “She’s great, as always…” He trailed off, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. “I uh, I popped the question.”

            “Really? I’m guessing she said yes?”

            “Yep. We aren’t planning a wedding yet or anything but it’s official. I mean she already said she wants Reina to-“ He stopped himself, clearing his throat before I could say something. “Sorry man. I keep forgetting.”

            “Nah it’s cool. How is uh, how is she doing? You know, Reina.”

            “I don’t really know.” He replied honestly. “I haven’t seen her much since you two split.”

            “She doesn’t go over there for spaghetti nights at all? What about movie nights?”

            “Haven’t seen her. The only time I really do is when I pick Casey up at the dorms since they’re both taking summer classes but she never says anything to me. It’s sad man.”

            “Yeah. That is sad.”

            As the road blurred by us in a daze, I fumbled with the bottom of the t-shirt surrounding my body and couldn’t decide whether or not to stop asking questions. I wanted to know more but I didn’t want to seem obsessive.

            “Are you still mad at her?” He asked.

            “Yeah. I’m mad. I’m mad that she hasn’t bothered to write me a letter or something to explain what happened. I’m just mad that she’s ignored me for the past four months. Like what we had was nothing.”

            “But you’re still asking about her. That must mean a part of you still cares.”

            “Of course I still care. Do you know how hard it was to try and get over her in that place? I’m still not there yet but I’m almost there. I still think about her every damn second it seems like but now the thoughts aren’t as frequent. They’re a couple seconds apart so if that’s what you call getting over her then yeah, I’m getting over her.”

            “But maybe she doesn’t want you two to be-“

            “It’s not about her anymore. For once in my life I’m thinking about me and after all of these counseling sessions I just realized how much she fucked me up. She brain washed me like no one else has and I’m never giving her that power again. I don’t ever want to put my emotions in control of someone else so I need to stay away from her. That’s the end of it.”

            “Okay.” He nodded. “If that’s what you want then I get it bro. How long has it been since you’ve had McDonald’s?”
           

 --------

            Three cheeseburgers and two fries later, Scott and I had arrived at the frat house and as soon as Colby and Mark saw me they wrapped me in a bromance hug, completely squishing me to death.

            “Yo!” I laughed, trying to push them off. “Chill.”

            “You bout to tell us how it was?” Mark asked. “How many whack jobs were in that place?”

            “Mark.” Scott spat, sending him an evil glare. “Enough.”

            “No, It’s cool. There were actually more than you’d think. This one girl Tracy was in my group sessions on Wednesday’s and she repeated the same word over and over again.”

            “What was the word?”

            “I couldn’t tell you. She always whispered it and stood off to the corner. It was sketchy as hell but hey, I’m out and I’m here.”

            “They didn’t let him watch hockey.” Scott laughed. “He wasn’t allowed any kind of technology whatsoever. For four damn months.”

            “Dude how did you jack off?” Mark asked in confusion. “There wasn’t any porn?”

            “Is that really all you can think about Mark…?”

            Rolling my eyes, I picked up my suitcase and headed towards the staircase.

            “I’m sorry but I wouldn’t be able to go a week without sex.”

            “It can be done my friend, it can be done.”

            I left them at the bottom of the stairs to discuss how shitty my life had been for the past four months as I finally opened the door to my room. Nothing had changed since I left. My posters were still up, my comforter was the same blue plaid and my laundry basket still sat right by my dresser. So much has changed since I was last in here but it almost felt like a new start to me.

            Beginning to take my clothing out of the suitcase, I opened up the dresser drawer, only to feel my heart stop when I saw the familiar sweaters Reina had put in here that night after spring break last year. When we were over I couldn’t bear to part ways with it because at the time, I was a wreck.

            The smell of her flooded into my nose all too quickly and a part of my stomach twisted up as I stared at it. I expected her to come over and grab them since I haven’t been here but they remained folded and untouched, my hands grasping the material before I grabbed the two pairs of underwear that still sat in with my briefs. No part of me wants to keep this and remember her.

            It felt like clearing out a home after someone had just died. Our relationship died and that meant that everything that happened in that relationship died too. Not only did I end up putting her sweater and underwear in a garbage bag, but I put other things in it from our relationship as well. I threw the pictures I had of us in there and I threw the stupid box she had given Casey to give to me, which included the bracelet I had gotten her as well as the stocking. I threw out the nail polish she brought over here and I threw out the sweaters of mine that were her favorite to wear. I didn’t need to be reminded of this anymore and the only thing I could relate my feelings to right now was death.

            After an hour in my room, I dragged the now heavy garbage bag down the staircase and set it down. Scott didn’t even have to ask what it was because he already knew just from the expression on my face most likely.

            “You sure?” He asked.

            “Yeah... Just uh, give it to Casey when you see her.”

A/N:

Just Friends is back babies!

If you're reading this for the first time this is the second book to Just Friends. (You can find that on my Wattpad profile!)

I really hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter. I'm looking forward to releasing the rest of them! Love you guys.

Comment what you thought :)

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