Chapter Four. 

JUSTIN: 

            In English I knew I messed up badly. Well maybe not messed up, but I definitely hated to see her like this. The whole entire lecture she’s been on the other side of the room and even when I continued to stare at her, she wouldn’t look back at me. It’s been like this for the past month though so why was I expecting things to suddenly change today? I’m the one who was a dick but I had to be. If I didn’t act like a dick, she’d try to get right back in and it wouldn’t be hard for her to. She’s the only one that has that ability.

            It felt like I was caught between two things. On one hand, I wanted her more than anything but on the other I wanted to better myself. Reina was a good influence on me but it was my accusations and assumptions that made me bad, which I finally decided last week. It was me who thought she was cheating and that’s why I had cut myself. It had nothing to do with her but still. If we were to try things again and get back together, what happens when I make another assumption? She means that much to me that it’s so easy to fear that I’ll lose her. It wouldn’t take much for me to fall right back into the same place that I was.

            God, why was I such an-

            “Justin Bieber with Reina Waters.”

            Snapping out of my thoughts, my eyes widened at our professor who was reading off of a list of some sort but I wasn’t even paying attention to what it was about. All I heard were our names called out.

            Reina looked at me finally, for the first time in four weeks, and I just stared at her with a blank expression on my face because I was clueless as to what just happened.

            “And Adam Wesley with Drew Barkley. Your presentations are due on the eighth. All of the instructions are listed on the syllabus.”

            Class was let out after that and as everyone was collecting their things I felt like I would throw up. This was so not what I had in my plans and immediately my palms were getting all sweaty and all of our classmates were talking about when they would meet up but I couldn’t even move. She was just standing there awkwardly with her backpack placed over one shoulder until she finally hit her breaking point, rolling her eyes at me and heading for the door. She knows I hate it when she walks away from me.

            “Reina.” I said bitterly, jogging slightly so I could catch up to her. “Can you fucking slow down for a second!?”

            “What?” She spat. “Don’t worry Justin. I’ll do all of the work and just put your damn name on it so we don’t have to see each other. I got your hint.”

            She was walking quicker than she was before and I could hardly keep up with her. I hated for her to be mad at me and second by second my heart was being pulled on. A year ago I’d spin her around and kiss her to make it better. A year ago I’d whisper in her ear and tell her that she’s the most beautiful girl ever and she’d still be mad, yeah, but eventually I’d wear her down and we’d be back to normal within minutes. Now I’m just not even sure how to handle the situation because I can’t do any of those things.

            “Fine.” I finally muttered, heading in the other direction. “Fuck you too then.”

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            The week after our assigned partners had been given, I still hadn’t spoken to her. I just hope she ends up putting my name on it or else I’m probably going to fail the class but knowing Reina she’ll do that. I don’t think she hates me enough yet to let me fail.

            “Yo.” Scott said, sitting down on the couch across from me. “What are your plans tonight?”

            “Nothing I can think of besides Netflix. Why?”

            “Capa’s throwing a party. I know you haven’t been to one in awhile so I was thinking you’d wanna go?”

            Sending him a sly smile, I eagerly nodded my head.

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            Five drinks in, my mind was starting to blur. I was feeling good with my boys and this night was already heading off to a good start. The music was blaring loudly in our ears, the drinks were never ending, and the pool had it’s own party going on as well. We were currently on the patio and Casey had come with Scott. At first I thought Reina was here but she reassured me that she asked her to come and she said no. Thank God.

            It was beginning to disgust me how in love Scott and Casey were. His arms were wrapped around her shoulders as her back was against his chest and I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol talking but god damn I miss my baby so much.

            “Hey.”

            Looking behind me, a tiny blonde with a high-pitched voice was staring directly at me and for a second I wanted to laugh from being so excited. Nobody understands how long it’s been since I’ve had sex but she seemed like the perfect girl to start with. Hopefully I haven’t lost my game.

            “Damn.” I smirked. “Hi gorgeous. What’s your name?”

            “Libby.” She replied. I could tell she was drunk. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

            Biting on her bottom lip, she was tugging at my shirt to go back into the house and my god she smelled so good. I wanted to fuck the shit out of her or out of anything for that matter from how long it’s been but when I went to go with her Scott tapped my shoulder.

            “What?” I asked.

            “Think about what you’re doing man!” He shouted over the music. “Don’t forget about Reina.”

            The mention of her name makes me want to start crying. I wish people would just leave me alone about her already because I’m trying to get over her. I know that’s probably impossible but for the time being I need to get laid and right now Reina isn’t mine. I don’ t think she even wants to be mine anymore.

            “We’re over!” I shouted back. “Stop acting like my dad!”

            She tugged on my hand again and I let her drag me into the house. We were searching for an available room and before we could even reach the staircase my arms were around her waist and I was kissing her neck, a giggle coming out of her mouth in return. I was ignoring the fact that it wasn’t Reina’s laugh. Or I was trying to.

            The first door on the right was open so she decided on that one, closing it and locking it behind her.

            “What’d you want to talk about gorgeous?” I teased, snaking my arms around her waist once more. “You know how beautiful you look right now?”

            “I-I wanted to talk about how fuckin’ sexy you are.” She giggled again, tugging on the hemline of my t-shirt. “Take this off.”

            One night stands were always my favorite and I let her take it off, laughing almost when she eagerly looked at my body.

            Don’t forget Reina.

            Pushing Scott’s words out of my head, I attached my lips with hers but the damn sentence kept repeating. Now all I could think about was her. This kiss felt lifeless. I haven’t kissed anyone since her but it was boring and it was so bad. She kissed nothing like Reina.

            I thought maybe it would get better if I saw her body so I unzipped her dress and watched it fall to the floor, disappointed beyond belief with what I saw. I’m not saying she was ugly. To another guy, she’d be beautiful. But to me, it wasn’t Reina. I felt like crying almost when her hands were on me because the feeling I wanted wasn’t happening. The only person that this feeling can happen with is with Reina and I can’t fucking be with her.

            Her hands were running down my chest and then her lips were on mine again. The pain was in my heart but I continued to kiss her because I can’t let my life revolve around one person no matter how difficult it is. I have to eventually get over this and eventually; I’m going to have to do this with someone else besides her. 

A/N:

I decided to update a little early. idc idc idc

comment and lemme know what you thought :)

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