The clattering sound of cutleries against fine chinaware, the cool jazz music playing in the background and the sound of people talking in hush tones overwhelmed me.
This year the dinner location is at a restaurant owned by Sean's father.

I kept on looking from the bright chandelier that hung high on the ceiling wall to my slim silver bracelet wristwatch. It's been fifteen minutes into the dinner and yet no sign of him. My heart couldn't stop beating frantically in my chest as I waited for the unexpected.

In a way I am happy he hasn't showed up, but I can't help but think what could be more important than spending time with family.

Our sitting arrangements hadn't changed, Lauretta sat beside me, the still empty chair meant for Sean was across me and beside my brother, Ashley sat beside my sister and our parents sat at the far end of the table. Everyone was indulged in one discussion or the other.

"Kat," Laura whispers in my ear, "you better eat something, your mom keeps sending glances your way."

I nod my head then pick up my fork, not bothering to turn my head to see if it is true. I already know it is.

Just as I'm about to munch on a bite of the collard greens on my plate, the sound of Mrs Jones voice makes me stop.

"Sean!" She announces. "I'm so glad you made it."

I look up and I'm stunned at what I see. Sean is in a black suit without a tie, his curly hair is neatly swept back in a very gentlemanly way. He has changed a lot, his boyish looks were gone; a man now stood before me.

I can feel the power and confidence oozing out of him as he made his way to our table. Apparently I wasn't the only fan girl Sean has as I caught the few glances sent his way by other ladies in the room with us.

The closer he got, the quicker my palms get all sweaty and suddenly the room temperature seems to have risen to great level where I can feel my insides just boiling up with excitement, fear and nervousness. I'm a train wreck.

That's when I realised, at this very moment that there is no turning off these stupid feelings I have for him.

I am too dumbstruck to notice when Sean made his way round the table exchanging greetings with the rest of the family. Only then when he stood behind me, waiting for a welcome hug from me did I realise.

Slowly getting up from my seat, I now stand in front of him eye to eye with the help of the heels I have on. His eyes show expectancy on my part, a welcome hug maybe. He tries to come close but I take a step back and give quick curt nod of my head as the only greeting he gets from me and his eyes widen.

Boy Sean I can handle but manly Sean, I'm not so sure.

He holds eye contact with me, his eyes daring me to look away after the stunt I just pulled. I don't, neither does he.

"It's nice to see you too, Katrina."
His deep manly voice says, nearly a whisper and I gulp at the use of my full name.

'Kat' is what he has always called me. He started it and everyone else followed.

Nodding again, I turn away from him and regain my sit, hoping our little exchange went unnoticed by everyone else and leaving him to continue his greetings till he was eventually done and sat down.

"Do you have hugophobia or something?" Laura whispers in my ear, chuckling at the end of her question.

I guess it didn't go unnoticed.

A small smile is thrown her way as a reply and I continue to poke my food with my fork. I'd get a handful from Laura later but for the now, silence would be nice to help me get my emotions under surveillance.

"Why did you arrive so late?" I hear Mrs Jones ask. "I know I thought you better than that." She chuckles and the other parents join in.

I sigh, The jokes that parents crack.

"I had something to take care of," Sean replies calmly.

"It couldn't wait?" My mom asks.

"Sadly no."

And so the night began, everyone chatting and eating at the same time. Laura began telling me of some guy she recently met, Matt is his name I think. It was kind of hard to concentrate on listening to her with the constant feeling of a particular pair of light brown orbs staring down at me.

Besides, I didn't see the point of listening if she is going to loose interest in the guy after a week or less. Lau is just like me; we got bored of people easily.

Checking my watch for the umpteenth time this evening, I see that it is just past eight. Against my better judgement, my head slowly and carefully lifts up from my lap to catch a glimpse of Sean. From just catching a glimpse to full time staring, he looks so different from when I last saw him, much more handsome.

Suddenly Sean's' head turns and his brown orbs take my grey ones captive. I feel my heart jump in my chest as a small smile is thrown my way causing me to quickly break the eye contact and return to my food poking.

Did he think I was a creep for looking at him like I want to devour him?

"Kat," Laura lowly whispers beside me.

When I showed no interest in whatever she had to say, she stepped hard on my foot under the table.

"Ow!" I glare at her.

"She's talking to you," she adds in quickly in a not so quiet whisper.
Slowly lifting up my head, I  notice quite a number of eyes all staring intently at me. Guess I owe Laura an apology and a thank you card.

I flash an apologetic smile at the crowd.

"So do you have any plans for your eighteenth birthday darling?" Mrs Jones asked, again.

I awkwardly clear my throat.

"No, not yet."

My mom glares at me before speaking up. I am clearly going to get a handful once we get home.

"Of course she does, she's throwing a party," she announces.

As soon as the words leave her mouth, my gaze returns to my my plate. I don't bother checking to see if Sean is looking at me, I don't have the balls to. But I secretly wish that he is.

Times like this I really wish my mother had a switch, cause listening to her ramble about how great the party would be is giving me a headache.

****-----******

After saying our goodbyes, we drove back home in silence.
As expected the moment we were inside the house my mom started giving me a lecture on dinning etiquettes and how rude it is to not listen to people when they talk to you. I already know that and I accept full blame for my actions, I never intended to appear rude to Mrs Jones.

"Honestly I've tried my best with you, why can't you just—"

"—be like your sister." I complete for her.

"Exactly. You're not her," she says, her voice bitter, "why can't you be good enough to be called my daughter!"

Her voice echoes in the now silent living room. Her words hung in the air for a while and like a dagger, each word pierced my heart. I've heard this speech so many times but it didn't stop me from feeling the painful pain in my chest each time she says it.

"I get it mom, I'm not Janet, and I'm not as perfect as you or as you want me to be." I spit at her.

'Don't let it get to you,' Janet always tells me. 'Mom loves you, she only says mean stuffs cause she wants the best for you.'

But what does she know? She's not the one suffering the bitter words of the woman who carried her in her belly for nine months. I am. Today is the first time I am taking a stand and talking back at my mother and it surprised everyone.

The deadly silence that enveloped the room was very uncomfortable. My mother's mouth was partly open, her eyes were wide open as she stares at me with disbelief.

"Apologise to your mother." My father says in a stern voice, breaking the silence in the room.

"Dad—" Gabriel tries to intervene but is shut down by a simple look from my father.

My fists are tightly clenched by my sides, I want to scream at him for intervening in the matter but I don't. I can't.

No one ever went against my father's wishes and I wasn't planning on being the first one to do so, just to know what happens. After all, I am still living under his roof.

Setting my pride aside and with so much hurt and anger I mutter a quick apology under my breath.

"I didn't hear it," father says, his voice loud.

"I'm sorry," I say again, much louder than before.

My mother nods in acceptance, unhidden victory glittering in her eyes.

"Anything else?"

There is no response from either of them so I take it as a no, hence my cue to leave.
I stomp past my stunned siblings and head straight to my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

I sit on the chair in front of my vanity and stare at the mirror.
I push back the tears that threatened to fall and feign a smile.

"I won't cry, not this time, not anymore."

The sound of my message tone gets my attention, so I pull out my phone from my clutch bag to see who the text was from.

Sean: You looked beautiful tonight.

Please vote and comment, would love your feedback.
Dedicated to BritneyJai for her amazing support.

Thanks again
ijay__