Chapter Twenty One. 

            The sound of my door opening immediately woke me up because like I said before, I’m a light sleeper, and my mom had her eyebrows raised up at me as her tiny frame leaned up against the doorway. I wasn’t quite sure how she’d react that I had a girl in bed with me but it wasn’t like I was in high school anymore and it wasn’t like I wasn’t serious about Reina and she knew that. She knew how much I cared about her so when a little smile emerged onto her face I sent one back and rested back more into the pillows.

            “Merry Christmas.” She whispered, trying not to wake Reina up. “I take it everything worked out okay?”

            “Yeah.” I whispered back. “We talked things out and now I’m not lying when I tell you I have a girlfriend. I actually have one now.”

            “Well I am beyond happy for you Justin. Your father and I really do love Reina. We think she’s a great girl and we’re excited to get to know her more although you know I don’t exactly approve of this.”

            Looking down at Reina sound asleep on my chest, I let out a sigh of relief and pulled the blanket up more so it would cover her shoulder. My mom has never seen me like this with any girl before and I know she hasn’t because back in high school all I ever did was mess around with girls and no matter how many times she tried to tell me to knock it off I never would.

            “She is pretty great, isn’t she?” I bragged, focusing my attention back on my mom who still seemed upset. “I’m sorry about her sleeping with me but after everything that happened last night we didn’t want to be apart. Nothing happened.” I lied.

            “The only reason I’m not going to get upset is because I somewhat understand and because it’s Christmas. Have you told her about your past yet Justin?”

            As soon as I heard her I tore my gaze away again and looked back down at her sleeping peacefully, her hands clenched tightly around my waist as I let out a sigh and shook my head no. She told me last night that she was crazy but the truth is, if she found out what a complete mess I can be at times her opinion would change immediately and this whole relationship would be right out the door. I’m trying to hold it off as long as possible.

            “No and she doesn’t need to know. Don’t tell her anything about it mom, alright? I don’t need her running off for the second time because of the stupid mistakes I’ve made.”

            “Honey self harm is nothing to be ashamed of.”

            “Mom, please. I’m better now and I’ve been better for almost two years. Please just don’t bring it up around her.”

            Putting her hands up in defeat, she let out a sigh and silently agreed.

            “Fine. Breakfast is ready and it’s Christmas breakfast so you need to eat with us as a family.”

            “I’ll be out in like a half hour. I’m just going to let her sleep for a little bit more if that’s okay. We had a long night last night and she seems pretty worn out.”

            “Sure.” She replied, slightly shocked at how caring I was towards her. “I’ll put it in the oven.”

            As soon as the door to my room shut she started to stir and she snuggled up more to my chest underneath the covers before she let out a little groan. If she woke up now we’d have a half hour to talk, which would be nice, and thankfully she slowly blinked her eyes open. Reina looked so tired and she got a little pout on her face from how annoyed she was that she was awake until she finally looked around her to try and register everything that happened yesterday.

            Yesterday was probably the most confusing one of my entire life and I don’t know about her but I was still trying to process the fact that we were together and that everything was different now. Granted, it was a good thing, but still. It was going to take some time to get used to.

            “Noo.” She whined, resting her forehead on my chest. “I was hoping you’d still be asleep.”

            “Breakfast isn’t for another half hour Reina. You can sleep for another twenty-five minutes or so and I’ll just wake you up.”

            “Yeah?”

            “Yeah. Go back to sleep.”

            My fingertips brushed underneath her eyes to examine her bags, her eyes fluttering closed as she nodded her head and smiled when I did that, me smiling too because waking up to her was different and being in love with someone is more than different.

            I let her sleep for the twenty-five minutes and then I gently nudged her to wake her up and she let out another groan, blinking her eyes open again before she sat up and looked at me tiredly, beginning to laugh when I stared at her in amusement.

            “I don’t look too hot in the morning.” She sighed, letting down her bun from the top of her head. “Better get used to it.”

            Rising from the bed, she slid the leggings she wore last night back on after taking my briefs off and then she slid the sweater back on over her head, sniffling a little bit from the morning air that seemed to be getting to her. I began to get dressed as well and I realized that she hadn’t put underwear on but I didn’t comment on it in fear that she’d get mad. All I did was open the door so she could walk out into the kitchen and she smiled once she saw all of the Christmas decorations up.

            “Everything looks so beautiful!” She commented, sending a smile to Pattie. I think my mom still felt a little bit awkward after she caught us in bed together but she seemed to brush it off as she placed both of our plates on the dining room table.

            “Merry Christmas you two! After you finish eating we’ll open up gifts.”

            Apparently everyone else had already finished theirs so it was just Reina and I alone at the table, her sitting next to me as she began to dig into her pancakes and kept looking over at the tree one thousand times it seemed like. Her infatuation with Christmas is unreal and I just honestly don’t understand why.

            “You act like you’ve never seen a tree before.” I joked, nudging her slightly with my elbow. “Why do you keep looking at it?”

            “I just like Christmas. If I can be honest I’ve never seen Christmas like this with a family or like with a breakfast for Christmas and the tree surrounded with gifts. It’s out of a movie almost and it’s just pretty. I don’t know.”

            My heart broke for her because I had completely forgotten her past and I felt like an asshole for even making that comment. I always do this all the time it seems like but she didn’t seem upset at me. She just was still looking around at everything and I gently grabbed onto her knee.

            “It’ll be like this every year.” I reassured. When she looked at me after I said that she seemed a little scared almost, biting the inside of her cheek in such a shy way and staring back down at her plate.

            “Uh, yeah.” She replied. “Maybe.”

            “Maybe? What do you mean by that?”

            “Nothing. Just forget I said anything.”

            We didn’t say anything for the rest of the breakfast. Afterwards we all gathered in the living room and she sat down next to me, my arm coming around her shoulder as she kept some distance in-between us on the seat. Yesterday seemed to be completely vanished and this morning seemed to be non-existent.

            “Reina.” I whispered before my family joined us. “Did I do something?”

            “No Justin, you didn’t. I’m just confused right now.”

            “Confused about what? About us?”

            “Time for gifts!”

            My mom rushed in along with my brother and sister and as my dad passed them out I was frozen in place because I felt like I had just completely screwed up and I have no idea what I did. If it was that comment I made about the tree then I’d have to apologize later to her I guess but at this point I couldn’t do that. Right now we were with my family.

            “Reina this one’s for you.” My mom said, gently passing it to her. Reina’s eyes widened when they settled upon the gift and she stared at them in disbelief for a second, her fingers wrapping around the box.

            “For me? You guys didn’t need to get me anything. This is so nice of you, thank you.”

            As the wrapping paper unraveled, a pink sweater was revealed and I could already tell it was something she’d wear because I could picture her in it. Pink was a really good color on her and she clutched the fabric in her hands, almost getting teary eyed for a second. I don’t know how many Christmas gifts she’s ever received in her life but judging by her reaction it can’t be many.

            “I love it so much.” She said. “I feel so bad because I didn’t get anyone anything. I’m so sorry.”

            “Oh honey don’t worry about it. I saw it at the mall when we were all there and figured I’d pick it up for you. I wasn’t going to let his girlfriend not open anything on Christmas. You’re becoming part of the family.”

            She didn’t know how to respond to that. All she did was glance back down at the gift and smile, looking over at me for the first time since Breakfast.

            “Thank you. Honestly, thank you.”

            The space that was between us on the couch got taken up by her when she moved closer to me and her arms came around my waist, her head resting on top of my shoulder. I wasn’t going to let what happened earlier slip away that easily but for the time being she seemed to be okay with me so I wrapped my arm around her shoulder again as we watched my brother and sister open their gifts, me opening a couple of sweaters as well and some new video games for my xbox back at the frat house.

            “Now Reina we have a family tradition that every year on Christmas we go caroling as a family and then we always come back to watch some Christmas movies with some hot chocolate afterwards. It’s completely okay if you don’t want to go but I promise once you get there it’ll be-“

            “That sounds great.” She smiled. “I’d love to go.”

--------

             Reina came into my room later that night before we were leaving to go caroling and when I saw her behind me in the mirror I was stunned by how beautiful she looked. Her body was draped in a red dress along with a pair of tights and some high heeled boots, a black pea coat around her to top it all off. I was in dress slacks and a nice button down shirt and as I fixed my hair she came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, placing a kiss to my shoulder as I tried to finish up. It’s hard for me to read Reina because at times she acts like this is what she wants but other times like earlier today she acts so distant and completely closed off. I don’t know what to think about it all.

            “You look nice.” She said. “I like this shirt on you.”

             “Thanks. Hey can we uh, talk about this morning for a second?”

            I turned around so I was facing her and she bit her lip a little from getting nervous, letting out a small sigh as we walked back into my room and she took a seat on top of the comforter.

            “Reina I’m sorry if I made a comment or anything that upset you but I’m just not sure what you’re confused about. I don’t know what you’re thinking and I just would like to know.”

            “It’s not about the tree comment.” She muttered, staring down at her fingertips. “It’s about the whole future comment you made. How Christmas will be like this every year.”

            “And why did that make you upset?”

            “Because it’s scaring me that you’re thinking about a future with me already Justin, okay? I’m not this perfect girl that you think I am and I’ve never exactly been committed before, neither have you, so what makes you think this is going to work out? I’m not saying it’s not going to but we can’t predict the future and I just think you’re taking this way too fast. I’m still trying to figure out how to do this and I still don’t know how this is going to go. When we get back to college things could be different and we just don’t know and I’m scared of whatever this is. I’m scared of what I’m feeling for you.”

            Sitting down next to her on the bed, I let out a frustrated sigh and just stared down into my hands as well. I keep forgetting that she’s not exactly as infatuated with me as I am her yet and it’s like Reina is just different from any girl I’ve ever met. She doesn’t exactly get attached to people and as much as she says she is, I can tell she still has a wall up and it’s going to take a lot of prying to get her to knock it down for me. The thing is though that I’m not planning on going anywhere and I don’t think she understands that.

            “You’re right.” I admitted. “I’m sorry for taking things too fast and from now on you can just take the lead, alright? I’ll go with whatever you’re comfortable with and no, the both of us haven’t committed, but this is what it’s all about I think. Telling each other how we feel so we can work on it and I’ll work on it Reina. I won’t talk about the future if it scares you. We’ll just take it one day at a time.”

            What I said must have been the right thing because she sent me a smile and grabbed onto my hand, pulling it into her lap so she could trace her fingertips along my palm.

            “Thank you.” She responded shyly. “I just need some time to process it all because I mean, it’s only been two days.”

            For me it’s been about three months so I’ve had the time to grow accustomed to my feelings but she’s only had like a week to figure this all out so I don’t blame her. I just keep forgetting that and it sounds kind of stupid that I’m expecting her to think of our future together after one week. To try and get her mind off of things, I stood up and dragged her to her feet.

            “You look beautiful Reina. Is this a new dress?”

            I ran my fingertips down to the edge of it and she nodded her head, leaning up to gently kiss my cheek before she wiped away the lipstick remains and glanced towards the door.

            “Are you any good at singing?”

            “I’m better than you think.” I teased, opening up the door. “After you Reina.”

A/N:

hm.... justin's past.... thoughts?

predictions?

Hopefully you guys liked this chapter :) I'm so excited to release the rest of the chapters!

Comment please :) 

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