Chapter Thirty Five. 

            Our trip in Las Vegas was halfway over and I can honestly say it’s made me fall even more in love with Reina if that’s even possible. Yeah, I know, it makes me sound like a little bitch, but I’m just being honest. Her and I have never been stronger and I don’t know whether it’s been our little romantic nights in the tub just talking about everything and anything or our sex that’s so damn good now that we’re alone in a soundproof hotel room. It’s just everything and damn, she gets better and better every single day.

            “Dude, you’re spacing.” Scott said, taking another bite of his sandwich. He and I had decided to grab something to eat while everyone else went down to the pool. Scott and I haven’t really had much time together to chill so it’s a good thing.

            “Sorry. Just thinking about stuff.”

            “I’m guessing all of that stuff has to do with Reina?”

            The smile that came onto my face spoke it all and he just rolled his eyes, grabbing a chip from his plate and popping it into his mouth.

            “I would say I’m surprised, but I’m not. I’ve gotta admit though, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy before man. I’m happy for you.”

            “Well I could say that same about you and Casey bro. You two seem to be happy as ever.”

            Nodding his head in agreement, I took a bite of my pizza and grabbed a napkin to wipe my hands off on. It’s kind of crazy how last year Scott and I were completely single and just two players and now we’re tied down to girls we can’t go a day without. The both of us never in our right minds thought this would ever happen.

            “About that.” Scott smirked, letting out a loud sigh. “I’ve been thinking a lot about Casey and everything and well… I kind of think she might be the one.”

            “As in…”

            “That I might want to propose to her.”

            “Dude what the hell? Are you high?”

            It came out before I could stop it and he actually seemed kind of shocked, giving me a confused look before he folded his hands on his lap and clenched his jaw slightly. I’m not sure what he expected me to say.

            “You don’t think it’s a good idea?” He asked.

            “Well no offense but you guys haven’t been together that long. How long has it even been? Like seven months for you guys?”

            “Yeah but dude I’m telling you. Whenever we’re together it’s just something different. She makes me feel a way that no one else has and c’mon, tell me you haven’t thought about marrying Reina at least once.”

            “Um, no.” I immediately replied. “I mean I love that girl to death but that kind of commitment is just… I’m not ready for that yet. We’re still young Scott. We could be in love today with these girls and then wake up the next morning and find another girl that makes us ten times happier. This could just be something temporary so don’t rush into things. That’s why divorces happen.”

            “Justin the point of being in a relationship is not wanting to be with anyone else. You shouldn’t be having doubts and you shouldn’t be wondering if tomorrow you’ll wake up and find someone better. What I want is to wake up to Casey every morning. Do you not want the same with Reina?”

            “Dude that’s not what I’m saying! Reina’s the girl for me and I know she is but I’m saying give it a couple of years. At least until we’re out of college for crying out loud. It’s way too soon man.”

            “Yeah well it isn’t really your decision Justin. It’s mine.”

            “Then why the hell bring it up?”

            Rolling his eyes in disbelief, Scott didn’t answer me, he just continued to eat his sandwich as I continued to eat my pizza in silence.

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            Later that evening when Scott and I met up with Mark and Colby, they all said that the girls went down to the party being held at by the pool, which I was completely unaware of. Las Vegas just keeps on getting better and as it was just my boys and I in the suite, all of us were drinking as I changed into a different set of clothes. Reina mentioned once or twice that she liked khaki shorts on me so I chose a pair of those along with a red tank top. I just want to see her if I can be honest because it’s been all day. 

            “Where the bitches at?!” Mark shouted, laughing hysterically from already being tipsy. “Hurry the hell up Justin! Let’s go.”

            “Yo, chill. I’m coming.”

            Looking myself over in the mirror once more, I spiked my hair up with my fingertips and fixed my tank to make sure that I looked good. I wanted Reina to do nothing but rip my clothes off tonight. I have a feeling that when I see her I’m going to want to do the exact same thing.

            “Justin you’re being a fuckin’ girl right now.” Colby spat, punching me jokingly on the arm. “What the hell man?”

            “I said I’m coming. I have a girl to impress, unlike you two.”

            “Believe me, that’s not a bad thing.”

            They both started to laugh from still being the stupid idiots they were and I just rolled my eyes, grabbing the hotel room key off of the nightstand and following all of them out.

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            As soon as we got down to the pool the music was flooding loudly into our ears, flashing lights all over the place with a dance floor directly over the pool. It was so sick and they even went as far as to light up the palm trees as well, allowing you to get a slight glimpse of everyone here, which was tons. There were plenty of girls for Colby and Mark to screw so they seemed to immediately be in their glory, splitting up so they could find a piece of ass to hit as Scott and I tried to find Casey and Reina.

            It was hot as hell out here, especially with it being jam packed with people. We both had to turn to the side to brush by people and as I tried to brush past two girls, one placed her hand on my shoulder to try and get me to talk to her but I wasn’t interested. The only girl I’m interested in is Reina.

            “It’s so loud!” Scott shouted, a laugh coming out afterwards. “I can’t hear a damn thing!”

            I nodded my head in agreement and was thankful that our fight seemed to blow over between us. After giving it some thought, if proposing to Casey was what made Scott happy then I’d be all for it because I think she’s a great girl and I think they’re a great couple. Maybe they’re ready for that step but as for Reina and I, no way in hell were we even close.

            “Scott!”

            Casey’s arms wrapped around his neck and he kissed her deeply, pulling her body against his and rocking her side to side in this cheesy love story shit type way. It was a little repulsive and when I looked behind Casey to find Reina she wasn’t with her, which was weird. I expected the two of them to be together.

            “Where’s Reina?” I said loudly into Casey’s ear. “She’s not with you?”

            “No! We split up a little while ago. We tried to stay together but there are way too many people here. I thought she’d be with you!”

            Ignoring the slight twinge in my stomach, I just nodded my head and let the two of them go back to whatever the hell they were doing and tried to scan the rest of the party but this place was huge. There was a bar, a freaking huge one, surrounded with drunken girls that were dancing on top of the table. Then to the right of that you had the campfire pits where Casey and Scott just took a seat at but Reina wasn’t there either. I have no idea where in the hell she is but it’s taking everything for me to not get an anxiety attack right now. She can’t just be by herself in the middle of Las Vegas and expect me to be okay with that.

            “Hey sexy.”

            Feeling a smile form on my face, I turned around but it wasn’t Reina. It was some random ass girl who was drunk off her right mind, her fingertips running down my chest before I pushed them away and started to walk off again. Honestly I really thought that was her for a second but of course, it wasn’t.

            “Hey.” The same girl spat, gripping onto my shirt. “Don’t be such an ass.”

            “I have a girlfriend.” I spat back. “I’m kind of taken.”

            As soon as the sentence left my mouth I saw Reina but she wasn’t alone. She wasn’t with Casey and she wasn’t with Scott. She was sticking her tongue down some asshole’s throat and I felt the bile and the tears and the fucking vomit come into my throat and into my eyes all at once it was like I couldn’t fucking breathe.

            “Well that’s all you had to say then…” The girl trailed off. “Are you okay?”

            “I’m fine!” I yelled, my nostrils flaring and my eyes raging. “Just leave me the fuck alone!”

            The girl seemed terrified and she quickly left in a hurry as I stood there and watched him grasp onto her ass as she was running her fingers through his hair and it’s like all of our memories flashed into my head at once. When she came to my house and told me she loved me, when we had sex for the first time, when I gave my all to someone for the first time and thought it’d be the last. Or the time when we bought those stupid hot dogs or our stupid meet up at McDonald’s or the amusement park or the movies or the fucking shit memories that seemed to go to waste now.

            This girl didn’t love me. Reina never loved me. I had my doubts this entire relationship and now it’s proven that she didn’t love me. If she loved me, she would have done what I just did to that girl. If she loved me, she would be trying to find me and not trying to find a random asshole to stick her tongue down his throat.

            What did I feel like doing? I felt like going right over there and punching the living shit out of that guy or even killing him. I felt like embarrassing her in front of the whole entire damn place but it was too loud to even do that. What I felt was the depression coming on. What I felt was the worthlessness of myself, the insecurities, the feeling of not being good enough. She wanted more and maybe that guy was more than me. He was fit, he was good looking, and I wasn’t much of anything. As my fingertips were digging into my palm I got that feeling that I always got. The feeling that only a blade could take away.

            Pushing my way through the crowds of people, I tried not to let the tears fall and I tried not to let the disappointment come into my head because I know what I’m about to do and what I’m about to do is fucking relapse. 

A/N:

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. 

I AM THE QUEEN OF CLIFF HANGERS. 

I'LL UPDATE SOON... MAYBE.

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