One Month Later ..

She was getting married today , a day that was supposed to be filled with laughter was filled with silence from her parents who fail to see how she could agree to marry a stranger ,from her brother who looked simply confused and from her brother in law who looked angry at her arrival in his life .

It has been one month since she met Arun ,and in this one month she had realized his solution would suit her just fine because he was a stranger ,he won't look at her with worry as her parents ,he won't be heart broken by her pain . To him ,she was a stranger as well .

After that night ,no one told her how hard it will be to survive every single day , for the first five days she hoped the nightmares would stop but it didn't , the next ten days she hoped her parents would stop looking at her with sadness it didn't , fifteen days later she hoped her brother won't be scared of her but he was still scared of her and by the end of a month she was done hoping that it will get better .

So when she cut her hand ,it was a subconscious act to make it all stop ,her family concern and her nightmares . The psychologist she visited daily told her that what she went through won't disappear in matter of days but it will get better each passing day but it didn't not even one bit ,every day was repeat of yesterday .

But most of all the reason she decided to end her life had stemmed from the fact ,she didn't want to face the world . She can take her family worry but she didn't feel like she could walk out of her home without losing her mind ,she didn't want to face anyone else including her best friend Lavanya ,who may be not so good at reading people but  can read her like a book if she just saw her in this state. 

Deep down she knew that she can't stay hidden forever and the fear that someday she have to face everyone again scared her ,most of all she was scared to face him ,  Arnav Khanna , the man she loves deeply and the man who broke her heart when he walked away from her life 

Arnav Khanna ,the man who loved her until he didn't and yet she knew if he arrives back home and learns it has been a month since his sister or cousin talked with her ,then he will take it on himself to find her . She didn't want to see him because she can't lie to him about anything .

Those fears may have been irrational or could have been avoided she had a family who listened to all her demands ,they would have let her remain hidden however long it took for her to recover but sometime fears didn't understand reason . So she decided to end her life before facing him . 

When she woke up alive in am hospital bed ,she decided to try again . A month later she wondered how she could have been that stupid to think dying was the solution when it would have devastated her family and him . She knew that but the reason that made her want to live had nothing to with them,  but everything to do with her baby .

When doctors told her ,she was pregnant. She knew deep down it was a scarier prospect , there would be questions like who was the father and there would be people who look down on her. But her family would support her ,she knew that they will help her raise the baby and that what they suggested when they heard the news.

They were willing to move town to make sure Gauri got a fresh start ,her father was DCP and he was willing to transfer from his post of importance for her , her mother had been working as an interior designer on her own but for the last two months she didn't take any new clients for her,  because of her but the real reason she couldn't ask them to move was because of her brother ,Ishaan Singhania . 

Ishaan was her brother ,they adopted him few years back and he had a close friend in his orphanage Meera ,now Meera Laksh Maheshwari . Cousin of her best friend , Lavanya . Her brother life revolves around Meera and she can't ask him to drop everything and move for her .

Her parents assured her that Ishaan would understand but Gauri knew he can't , a twelve year old couldn't possibly understand her reasons. He was too young , he lost his parents in an young age and it took him a long time to accept them as family but it would be cruel if she took away Meera from his life as well .

Her parents decided that they will live separately then ,her mom with Gauri and her dad with Ishaan back in town. As if it was foregone conclusion or Gauri could brave it out and live in the same house which she wasn't ready for ,she had been so thankful that no one asked her if she want to abort her child .

After enduring a unloved childhood ,Gauri wouldn't even for a second make her baby feel unwanted if she can help it . And so the arguments went for over a week until Arun stepped in with the solution . Marriage to him ,she laughed at him when he told her during one of his visit .

They met few times already when he visited to make sure she was fine and Gauri knew he gathered enough information about her from the conversation he could hear around her . Until it made sense as he told her about his life ,and how he needs an anchor to live as well .

" That absurd  ," her mother spoke up,  when she overheard them talking and if looks could kill her father would have killed Arun by his fierce gaze .

" A blind man can't lead another one,  " was all his father said ,it stung a bit to be treated as blind by her family but she understood what he means to convey ,both of them aren't emotionally stable and is in no way capable of dealing with everything .

" True ,but only a blind person know what it is to be blind . None of you could understand your daughter suffering better than me . Our pain may have been different but as you said we are both blind and I can help her, "  he answered back which didn't convince her father but for Gauri it changed her mind .

" No ,we are not getting you married to a man we met just last week , " her mother protested for which Arun offered to let them stay in his house for as long as it takes them to change their mind ,and in her list the fact his home was miles away from her home added an advantage to his offer . 

And they stayed in his house for two weeks before Gauri made up her mind to marry him. In those two weeks he had won his parents approval though they were reluctant because to them ,she was far more precious . Still Gauri had made up her mind because in this two weeks she found a friend in him and so she said yes to marry him . 

" It isn't too late to change your mind,  " her father voice spoke up,  as she turned to see him ,he still kept a healthy distance between them because awhile Gauri was making decisions about marriage that didn't automatically solve her new found issues with physical contact.

" This is what i want dad, " She answered back to him,  trying to make them see this was her decision to make, she isn't marrying someone else because she was scared to be a single mother, it wasn't about filling the father name tag in the school application of her child. 

Her biological father was no longer in her life and even when he was present,  he didn't give a single care about her because she was a girl child, she learnt the true meaning of having a father when her mother remarried and Adharsh Singhania became her father in both name and heart . 

    She knew the true meaning of being a father . And she really believed Arun would be a good father to her kid just like her father even when they were related by blood . 

" I trust him dad, " Gauri spoke up,  as she looked at her father trying to make him believe that he got nothing to worry about her marriage.

" But you don't love him,  " her father answered back with a hint of sadness, it wasn't a question because he knew her heart was forever locked away with someone else. Initially when she started considering marrying Arun, they all tried to bring his name in the conversation trying to make sure she wasn't walking into something without thinking about its consequences.

The truth of the fact was she knew the consequences, if Arnav learnt about her marriage. He would think she betrayed him by falling in love with some one else this quickly. She knew that but she wanted him to hate her ,so that he can move on . It had been her dream to marry him from the age of 16.

   And always scribbled it as Gauri Khanna in her notebook ,  until today when she signed her name as Gauri Prasad few hours later. The ink didn't dry on the paper before the tears began to fall as she broke down in the register office for all the dreams she lost. 

P.S: "That it for now , Let me know your thoughts and Feedbacks. Hit  the votes if you liked it "

Love

Juanita Reid