Three Months Later

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I don't think I've been this nervous since the first time I performed for live television. But this time I was nervous just about everything.

This was going to be the first time I was going to be back into the spotlight. This was my first red carpet in months. This time I was going to be talking about me and my own career. This was my time to shine.

For the past three months, everything had gone perfectly. Things were happening my way which made everything ten times better. Liam had done a great job with helping me get my career back on track. After my contract with James' management company officially ended, I was able to look for a new label company since they didn't want me back.

It didn't take long before Liam found me a new record label, Interscope Records. The first contract they drew up, I completely disagreed with. It was like the old contract I had with Hollywood Records, they wanted to control me. So I made Liam make a new one, in which I had control over what kind of music I was going to release. After lots of meetings we all came to an agreement.

Before I knew it, I was back in the studio with all different types of producers. I had never written so many songs in my life. Being in the clean environment where I was able to talk about what ever I wanted to was inspiring. I didn't have the media controlling anything of mine.

Of course whenever I would go out with any of my friends, which pretty much only consisted of Liam, Niall or Jess, paparazzi would follow me. They would also makes comments. Most of the comments consisted of Harry. For some reason they would insist asking question of his life. But then there was one day when they asked me about the possibility of Harry and Lia getting back together. I didn't really know how to react. I hadn't thought of that possibility.

I looked out the window of my car and my stomach created even more butterflies. All the photographers were lined up for the next person to come out of their car. I was next. I looked down at my dress making sure everything was okay.

" everything's going to be fine" Liam said beside me.

I simply smiled over at him hoping that it was true. I needed everything to go perfect.

So someone outside the car, slowly opened the car door revealing me. I took his hand taking a step out meeting all the flashes of the cameras. Liam walked behind me. Stepping out on the red carpet for the first time in months felt a little weird. I had forgotten how rowdy the paparazzi / photographers were. Instead of getting nervous because of them, I ignored their comments posed to which ever direction I wanted to.

As I posed for the last two minutes, I heard cheers coming from the very beginning of the red carpet. I glanced over and saw the boys coming out of their car. I really hadn't seen them since Willow's funeral. Harry's hair had grown a little longer, down to his neck. Zayn had shaved his hair off leaving only half an inch maybe. Louis was the only one who hadn't seemed to change much.

I was then instructed to leave the red carpet and go towards all the cameras crews with interviews. As the interviews started, my eyes kept going back to the boys as the posed for the red carpet.

" how does it feel to be coming back into the industry after a couple of months of hiatus?" the lady asked with a microphone.

" um.. it's a little weird but I'm happy. It feel great coming back and being able to be myself in front of the world" I smiled at her then looking back to see Liam right behind me.

Being pushed into the next interview, I looked back to the boys again. As I saw Harry and Lia posing together in front of the cameras, my mind kind of went into shock. Harry had his arm snaked around Lia's waist as she laughed at something he said in her ear.

So they made it official as a couple in front of the world, in front of me.

*

I looked down at the sea of people in the audience and felt like I could finally breathe. My performance had just finished and the crowd had given me a standing ovation. Never in my life had I felt so proud of myself. Here I was starting my career over with people accepting me this way.

I mouthed thank you towards the crowd.

Seeing all the familiar faces in the crowd made this experience even more real. I saw all the famous people I had already met standing for me. Then I saw my... the boys standing as well. They clapped along with the crowd making me feel even more accomplished.

I looked over at Harry and saw him with a smile on his face. That smile meant a lot more to me than I actually wanted it to.

I was quickly instructed to leave the stage and back into my dressing room. There I changed into my third and last outfit of the night. Olivia had done an amazing job with the outfits tonight. Liam hired her full time to be my stylist. I trusted Olivia when it came to dressing me for the public eye.

After taking off my pale pink dress, I put on a pair short black shorts with a red blazer over it with absolutely no bra on. Olivia simply put on bouble sided tape to ensure that no nip slip would happen. I took the clips out of my hair as well letting my long dark hair fall down my back.

As soon as I was done, one of the producers came in, in order escort me back to my seat in the audience. But as I make my way out of my dressing room, I come face to face with Harry. I watched him having a conversation with Olivia who had come out of the dressing room before me.

The producer calls my name causing Harry's eyes to meet mine. He stays still for a couple seconds as well as myself. It's been around four months since the last time we saw each other, let alone speak to each other this close to one another.

" you're performance was amazing" was the first thing he said to me.

" thank you" I smiled.

I looked back at the producer and noticed that he was in a bit of a rush to get me into the audience. As much as I wanted to have a full on conversation with Harry, just to catch up, I knew a couldn't. For many different reasons.

" we'll catch up later" he nodded.

" of course" I smiled at him once again.

So little words but so many feelings.

I turned back to the producer and followed him down the hallway. Looking back for a split second, I caught Harry still looking at me as I walked away.

The award show continued with amazing performances by other artists. Funny comedy sketches as well from the hosts. The next award to be presented was Best Pop/Rock Group. I knew All Oblivion was nominated, hoping that they would win.

Ronny came out from backstage and made her way towards the middle of the stage in order to present the award. Ronny and I never got back to the friendship that we used to have. I guess it just flamed out. I needed new people in my life and we both understood that.

As she began talking about all the nominees, my eyes kept looking over at the boys who were in the front row. They all looked fine. They always did, I was always the one who was a wreck when it came to award shows. Ronny looked down at the tablet in her hands and announced the winners.

" All Oblivion!" Ronny smiled.

Immediately I stood up cheering them on. I noticed the the producers had put a camera in front of me in order to catch me reaction. I didn't mind it though. I expected it.

I watched all three of them stand up from their seats and hug each other. Lia also stood up next to Harry and gave him a kiss. I did my best to keep the same face I held before. The last thing I needed was for people to have an opinion. Even though they would have an opinion anyways.

They made their way towards the stage accepting their award from Ronny.

Louis was the first one to come up to the mic.

" for the second year in a row, this award has been given to us. We want to thank our fans who have stuck by us through this crazy journey we've been on" he said.

Then Zayn began thanking the record label and producers. I noticed how he didn't mention James and his management company. I began to wonder how that relationship was going.

Then Harry stepped up to the mic.

" we also like you thank one last person. Cailin. Without you, we wouldn't have grown into the group we are today. Without you we wouldn't be standing on this stage today. No matter what, you will always be considered one of us" Harry said looking directly at me.

His words made me emotional. I could see my vision become blurry due to some tears forming. All I could do was smile and say thank you even though they couldn't hear me.

Just about everyone in the audience had their eyes on me watching my reaction. But I didn't care.

The only thing I cared about were the boys in front of me, my boys.