" the deal was for you to make your relationship public, becoming Hollywood's it couple making it last for at least a year" James said to Harry.

" I know" he responded.

No...no...no...

At this point I couldn't breath anymore. I couldn't function. I wasn't reacting. All I knew was that I wanted to get out of there. I literally wanted to disappear. I wanted to crawl into a shell and never come back. 

This couldn't be my reality. 

This had to be a nightmare.

I quickly walked away from the door, not really having a destination. My mind was to jumbled up that I couldn't really think straight. My mind went to a different time. My mind took me a better and easier time.

The day I moved to New York City seemed to be the best day of my life at the time. I was only sixteen and felt the freest I could have ever been. My mom wasn't in my ear as much as she had been back at home.

But I was leaving home, that was the tough part. Leaving Niall was the toughest part. I hated that I was leaving my best friend. He had been with me through so much. He was the shoulder I cried onto. I didn't want to leave him with his family. His family wasn't there for him as much as mine was. Yes my father was already in a coma by now but my mother still treated him like a son and always welcomed him into our home.

" everything's going to change" he said.

" what do you mean?" I asked.

" you're going to build your career out there, a career that you've been working for" he tried explaining.

" you will too someday" I said to him

" knowing you, I just know you're going to accomplish a whole lot more than you're expecting" Niall smiled down at me.

That sentence had stuck to me ever since I left for New York City. I wanted it to be true so badly. I didn't just want to be a model. I wanted to be a performer. I wanted to make other people happy in the process. I wanted to speak to people in so many ways. Mainly through music.

But now I open my eyes and see an empty lobby. I couldn't move from the chair I was sitting. I could still hear the music coming from the venue where the party was being held. But still couldn't really process what was going on. I couldn't process what I had heard.

" what are you doing out here?" I heard from across the lobby.

I looked up only to see the guy that had flipped my life upside down once again. It all began flooding through my mind what the whole conversation meant. I knew exactly what James meant. The worst part was that Harry knew exactly what he was doing.

It started to make sense all of those odd moments with Harry. It made sense that all of a sudden he wanted to make our relationship public. He had made it public by kissing me in front of the world. I knew it was weird from the start but I was too love with him to follow my instincts.

Suddenly I was up on my feet and running the opposite direction from Harry.

" Cailin!" he called out.

But that didn't stop me. I knew I couldn't go through the front doors because paparazzi was filled out there waiting for their perfect shot. So I had to find a back door. I ran towards the back. I pushed the door open taking me outside to the fresh air.

The down side was that my heels had made me slower than I usually was, meaning that Harry was right behind me. When he grabbed my arm, I knew I couldn't run anymore.

" what is going on?!" he shouted.

I tried saying something, but nothing came out. All I could seem to do was stare at him. I could feel my eyes burning and started to tear up.

" what happened?" he asked again.

As he continued asking what the hell was wrong with me, all I could think about was how I was just a business deal. I was just a job. I was just a piece of meat being sold into the industry.

Tears were running down my face but my facial expression hadn't change. I was still staring at him like a rock.

" please tell me what's going on.." he begged.

As he looked me in the eyes, I could see fear in them. Then there was the moment where he suspected I knew about everything. I knew he suspected, because there was a sparkle in his eyes. His deal was ruined.

" why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.

Harry quickly let go of my arm. He paced around the pavement running his fingers through his hair like every other time he did when he was nervous, mad, or even sad.

" Louis told you? Zayn did? Who the fuck told you?!" Harry yelled.

That was the moment Harry admitted it to me. That was the moment I broke down. All the tears that were built up were finally crashing down on me. I felt like I was been punched in the stomach. I couldn't breathe.

" please don't cry..." he begged.

" what did you expect?" I shouted over my tears.

" it wasn't supposed to be like this.." Harry said but it sounded like he was saying it more to himself.

I watched him kick a trash barrel in frustration, but it didn't scare me this time. I guess I was too upset over the situation to actually even care about violence.

" how could you use me like that?" I cried.

" it wasn't like that" he said with tears streaming down his face.

I hated watching his tears. It reminded me of so many truthful moments with him. This wasn't one of those moments. This was the unmasking of a lie.

" then what was it dammit?! You did the same thing to me that you did to Lia! You used me. You used my emotions to get the best of me!" I yelled as I walked closer to him.

" please listen.." he tried saying but I quickly interrupted him.

" you used Lia while sleeping with me on the side. Now it was my turn to be used right? You were sleeping with Bella on the side right? What is she? Your next victim? Is this what you do Harry? You use girls for your own fame?" I shouted at him as I pounded him in the chest.

But he stopped me by grabbed my hands as soon as he began to talk back.

" it wasn't the same thing! I didn't think much of it at the time! We were just hooking up and James found out. He somehow convinced me to make us public saying that it was going to good for the band, that's how the deal was made. That's why we went public" he shouted.

" do you hear yourself?" i said in a hushed tone.

Harry didn't say anything. Instead he stayed quiet waiting for me to say more. That's when I slapped him across the face. With his face still turned to the side, I could tell he was surprised by my action. I didn't want to the girlfriend that hit her boyfriend. But then again, this was all just a business deal and I was a pawn in all of it.

" how could you use me like that for your own gain?" I shook my head then taking a few steps back away from him. I turned my body around I started walking towards the door to go back inside.

I wanted to leave. I wanted to get out of there. I wanted to be miles away from Harry. I needed to find a car and get back to the hotel. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I needed to be alone.

My mind was still processing it all. But how could my heart process this kind of heartbreak? Was that even possible? How could you fall in love with nothing but lies?

" I didn't know I was going to fall in love with you!" he shouted stinging me in the chest.

That stopped me in my tracks. I put my hand on my chest trying to keep myself together. But my hand quickly made it way into contact with a piece of cold jewelry. The moment I touched it, I knew it was the necklace Harry had given me only a couple of hours ago.

My fingers played with the pendant as I turned back around to face Harry. I looked at him carefully. He had tears rolling down his face. His hair looked like it had been pulled a million different directions by himself. He looked like he didn't know what to do.

Neither did I, to be honest.

I just knew one thing.

" you know what I wanted from you the most, Harry?" I said to him.

He waited for my answer quietly and still.

" all I wanted was the truth" I said as I tore the necklace from my neck.

I slowly walked towards him, grabbing his hand and opening his palm. I put the beautiful necklace in his palm and closed it for him.

" it's over" I whispered as we were both left with tears streaming down our faces.

~

holy shit, I cried the entire time writing this chapter....

so heartbreaking to write but I had to write it.

During the chapter I listened to "so cold" by ben cocks. I think it was kind of perfect for the scene.

So finally you guys have a little insight to why Harry's being acting weird sometimes. The next chapter will explain a little more as well. 

What did you think of Cailin's reaction?

What about Harry's reaction?

What do you think will be Cailin's next step?

also, I know I have been horrible at replying at comments that you all leave on each chapter but know that I read absolutely everything! haha

Spread the love <3