" It's so different here. The people here are amazing. I'm loving it all" I said into my cellphone.

" I'm happy for you. I'm stuck working during Christmas" Niall sighed.

" what do you mean?" I asked.

" my dad felt the need to give me more responsibility at the company so that means I have a lot of paper work to turn in right after Christmas, the day after tomorrow" he said.

I didn't expect him to spend the holidays with his family. He hadn't done that in years. I remember the first time he spent Christmas with my family. He had never truly experience a Christmas family gathering before. It was amazing to the the smile on his face that night.

During that time, Christmases like that were so normal that I ended up taking it for granted. I remember my dad always trying to make me sing with him by the fire place in front of our family and friends but I would always shrug him away too embarrassed as a kid.

Waking up today, I would give anything to be able to sing with him by the fire place.

" have you heard from Willow?" I asked hoping for an answer that I wanted.

It's been almost two months since I last heard of Willow and it worried me. I know that I should have tried harder to reach out to her.

" still nothing Cai.." Niall said.

" she'll come around" I hoped.

Soon after, Niall hung up going back to work. If staying in bed all day could ease my mind, that's exactly what I would do. But that doesn't happen in real life. I picked myself off the bed and walked over to the window. I pulled away the curtains to see the beautiful outskirts of England. I could see the sun already setting. The timezone here was completely messing up my day.

I quickly put on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. Tying my hair in a knot, I quickly made it out of the room. Knowing that Harry's room was right across from mine I went straight to it. I felt like a little kid again trying to sneak into a boys bedroom. I shook my head with a smile at my attitude.

Just as I was about to open his door, I heard him having a conversation with someone.

" what do you mean?" he argued.

I could clearly hear him pace around the room.

" it's not like that! I don't want it like before" he sighed.

What the hell was he talking about?

Before he could accuse me of easedropping, I slowly opened the door causing Harry to look at me with a shocked face. I looked back at him confused by his reaction.

" I gotta go" Harry said before hanging up the phone with James.

" who was that?" I asked closing the door behind me.

Harry subconsiously ran his fingers through his hair making me know that he was nervous about something.

" just Jess" he sighed.

" okay" I said not wanting to push him for an answer.

Harry threw his phone onto his bed and avoided my eyes. I was starting to feel like coming to England was becoming too much for him. Last night with the reunion with Louis family might have been a little too much for him.

Even though Louis' mom had set up separate bedrooms for Harry and I, I expected Harry to sneak into my room in the middle of the night. I kept waking up in the middle of the night hoping to see him beside me.

" do you wanna go out tonight?" he asked.

" where?" I asked back.

" this bar in town. I used to go there all the time" he shrugged.

*

At night, England seemed even more beautiful. Harry drove us through town and I couldn't help but gawk at it all. All the lights reminded me of LA but had an older feel.

An hour after driving, Harry parked at a bar parking lot. As I began opening the car to get out, Harry sat still in his seat. His whole mood was different, it was completely off.

" what's wrong?" I asked closing back the door.

" nothing" he whispered.

" please don't lie to me" I begged.

Harry stayed quiet. Once again he ran his fingers through his hair. He was too quiet. I just knew something was wrong.

" do you already regret bringing me to England?" I asked looking down at my hands.

" don't be ridiculous" Harry said before getting out of the car.

Harry's way with words still seemed to leave me in shock sometimes. This was one of those times. I couldn't understand how Harry could be so delicate in one moment to then become so rude and hurtful the next.

By the time I got out of the car, Harry was already at the front of the bar. I watched him walk into the bar leaving me behind. I sighed as I walked in a couple feet behind me. I saw him heading straight to the restroom. This is the last thing I needed, to be alone at a bar where I knew absolutely no one.

As I reached the bar, I asked for a shot of tequila to the bartender. I needed something to supress my confusion over Harry. After the shot of tequila, Harry still wasn't back yet.

I looked around the bar and he was nowhere in sight. Instead what I see surprises me. I see a girl who I recognize. It was someone who I had seen in the States before. It was Bella.

The Bella who Harry had brought to Zayn's birthday. She was gorgeous and tall, looked much more like a model than I ever did. She made me feel insecure, especially when it came to Harry. She knew him longer than I did.

Did Harry invite her here too? Was this their usual spot to hang out?

But I was his girl. I knew we hadn't made it official to the world, but it was a serious relationship to me.

I watched the girl laugh with her girlfriends. Wondering about her past with Harry only made me hate her more. I started to imagine her as his girlfriend or even just a hook-up girl for him. How many times had he had sex with her? Did he have any feelings for her?

" hey hun" someone interupted my thoughts.

I looked over to see bearded man with a bottle of beer in his hands. Instead of answering, I just looked away and tried to ignore the man.

I looked out at Bella again, only to see Harry walking over to her. He smiled at the girl and pulled her in for a hug. Her skinny arms wrapped around him help tight, pressing herself upon him. Anger ran through my veins watching the whole reunion. All I wanted to do was walk up to them and slap her in the face and then slap him. But what would I say then? Our relationship was a secret.

I was starting to feel like this was a terrible idea.

" you don't have to be a snob, sweetheart" he chuckled.

" just because I don't want to talk to a stranger doesn't mean I'm a snob" I rolled my eyes.

" well then what are you doing here alone?" he asked.

" I'm not alone" I answered looking over at him.

" I don't see anyone with you" the guy smirked.

I didn't have a comeback to give him. Harry on the other side of the bar. I felt alone here. Abandoned in a way for a reason that I didn't even know of.

" she's here with me" someone said behind me.

I turned around to finally see Harry. Relief washed over me. But the relief quickly turned into anger because I knew that Harry only came back for me because he saw this guy talking to me.

The bearded guy shrugged his shoulders and went back to drinking his beer.

" you can go back hanging out with your new girlfriend, I'm fine here" I spat as jealousy ran through my veins.

" what are you talking about?" he sighed.

" that chick that you brought to Zayn's birthday? You were just with her, weren't you?" I rolled my eyes.

Harry's eyes drifted off to where Bella was standing and scoffed at me.

" what is going on with you?" I glared at him in return.

His fingers slowly ran in between his hair.

" you don't want to know" He shook his head.

" what makes you think that I don't want to know what's going on in your head? You know I care about you, yet you continue to treat me as if I was still you hook-up girl. Maybe you still think of me that way" I said.

I looked up at Harry and he was just shaking his head. I wanted to tell me something but something else was holding him back. This time I didn't want to ignore it. I wanted to push him until he gave me an answer.

" Harry!" I heard a girlish scream.

I looked over with a glare and saw Bella skipping over towards us.

" hell no.." I whispered to myself.

" come dance with me! Just like we used to when you lived back here" she smirked at him. Harry's eyes drifted to me and back at Bella not really knowing what to say.

" if you want go ahead Harry. It's not like you have a girlfriend" I glared at him.

Bella smirked continued as her hands made its way up Harry's shoulder.

" do you?" I pressed him.

As much as I wanted an answer from him, I didn't get one. Harry stayed quiet. His silence pained me more than I expected. His silence meant that our secret wasn't just to protect our relationship. His silence meant that our secret was so that Harry wouldn't have a real relationship with a commitment, he could do what ever he wanted without a single person judging him.

" have fun" I shook my head before walking away from him.

All I wanted to do in that moment was to go home, to New York. But I was stuck here in England all because of Harry. The only thing I could do right now was stay close to Louis' family and away from Harry.

" Cailin!" I heard him call out after me.

Instead of turning around, I just kept walking. As soon as I stepped out of the bar, I came face to face with paparazzi. Their cameras started flashing against my eyes and my frustration only grew more.

" Cailin!" Harry shouted behind me.

" what?!" I yelled back turning around not caring about the paparazzi taking pictures of this whole fiasco.

Harry's hands grabbed my face and kissed me. Harry's lips were against mine the way it had always been before. But this time it was different. This time it was in public. This time it was in front of paparazzi.

This time it was in front of the world.

~

Finally Harry kisses Cailin in front of people!

EI think that most of you all were waiting for this to happen and here it is!

What do you think is going to happen next?

What do you think is going to be Cailin's reaction?

What do you think is going to be the world's reaction?

Why do you think Harry was such an ass this whole chapter?

anyways, thanks for reading this story, it really does mean the world to me <3

I want to send a special thank you to @MariamAbass because comment only every chapter from started to finish keeping me amused with every comment! Love you so much!

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