" I love the weather out here" I said as I drew invisible circles across Harry's chest.

" me too" he said quietly.

Outside the window, the sun was shinning like any other LA day. Nothing like New York. New York's weather was crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way. LA was just a place I liked to visit. But I liked the New York busy life style.

" what's it like in England?" I looked up at him.

" what?" he asked like I caught him off guard.

" well you've never told me about your life back there. How was it like in England?" I asked again.

I could sense that he was hesitant to answer my question. I could hear his heartbeat quicken, his breathing become thicker. It was something I always wondered about but it was never the right time to ask. His life before All Oblivion was something Harry never talked about.

" It was tough" he whispered staring straight ahead.

The way his eyes looked when he said those words made me wanted to ask a million more questions. But I knew that was push him to far. We would probably get into another fight and he'd end up saying something hurtful towards me. I could ask him a little more another day as much as it killed me.

We stayed in silence for a couple minutes before he spoke.

" Christmas is in two weeks" he said.

" I didn't even realize" I shrugged.

" you think you'll go to your mom's?" he asked as he played with the tips of my hair.

" no, I haven't really celebrated Christmas in a years" I shook my head.

Christmas was only a childhood memory to me. It was celebrated when my dad was there to make me excited about it. After the accident, Christmas just became a forgotten holiday, especially since the accident was so close to Christmas.

" really? I expected you to be this Christmas obsessed kind of girl" he chuckled.

" you know, not all girls are like that, right?" I laughed.

He shrugged with a smile on his face.

" so I'm guessing you celebrate Christmas" I sat up from the bed.

" every year" he smiled

" with your family?" I said as I saw another opportunity to ask him about his family

" Louis' actually" Harry surprises me. I knew the boys were close but I had never thought of how much. I just assumed they we best friends from school or neighborhood. But with Harry spending Christmas with Louis' family, that meant their relationship went much deeper.

Even though Harry thought of his family for a milisecond, I knew that didn't ruined his thoughts of Christmas. If I could talk about Christmas twenty-four hours a day just to see this side of Harry, I would. I loved seeing this sparkle in his eyes.

" you should spend it with us" Harry invited me.

His invitation surprised me. It took me a second to digest it. Yes, this wasn't exactly his family I would meet, but I would be spending Christmas with him which to me was a hell of a big deal. Even if I didn't celebrate Christmas.

I simply kissed him on the lips and smiled at him.

" why don't you celebrate Christmas with your mom?" he asked.

" because it was my dad's favorite holiday" I said looking down at my hands.

" do you wanna know why I love Christmas?" he asked.

I looked over at him and saw him looking directly at me. I nodded hoping to get an answer I could understand. Harry slowly put his hands in between mine.

" because it was my mum's favorite holiday" he said before giving me a quick peck on the lips. He got up from the hotel bed and walked into the bathroom leaving in complete shock sitting on the bed.

I got the answer I waited to long to have. It just wasn't the answer I expected.

Harry's mother was gone.

~

" so when were you going to tell me about you and Harry?" Liam smirked as he looked over at me.

" what are you talking about?" I said as a smile escaped my lips.

" I haven't seen you this giddy since, ever" he chuckled.

" I have no idea what you're talking about" I teased as I lifted my chin up with a smile.

I picked myself off the auditorium chair and stood in front of Liam. Liam had taken some time off of his new job in the PR to visit his sister and I. After about a week with Lia, he chose to come to two shows of ours.

" did Lia tell you anything?" I asked.

" Lia avoids any conversation with me that involves you and the boys" he shrugged.

I looked at him confused, assuming that he knew a lot more about her feelings about everything.

" she knows that we're really good friends and doesn't like it. I don't think she trusts me anymore that way" Liam says.

" I'm sorry Liam" I shook my head.

" it's okay, our relationship was going down hill anyway" he shrugged.

I picked up the bike that was beside me and jumped onto it. Before I ever even got into the band, the boys always had bikes and games to occupy themselves while on tour opening for people. James said it kept them out of trouble.

" so how's everything else going, other than Harry?" he asked as he walked beside me while I rode the bike in circles.

" Harry's been kind of a distraction for me to be honest" I said looking away from him.

" what do you mean?"

The first thought that came to mind was my dad. I still had to make the decision on what to do. I have broken the news to my mom but she quickly changed the subject saying that it was my decision, it would always be my decision. When he had the accident, the doctor warned us that he would probably never wake up and gave us the choice to turn off the machine to get it over with. My mother was so devastated and wanted to get past it. She made the decision to turn it off which made me infuriated. I made a scene at the hospital. I threatened her saying that I would never have any sort of relationship with her if she did such a thing. That was when she gave me the responsibility of the decision when it came to my father.

Little did I know that it would be this hard.

Then there was the whole Carter situation that wouldn't leave me alone. Everywhere I went I was asked about Carter. I wanted nothing more to do with him and yet people kept bringing it up. In interviews it was even worse. I would clearly tell James to warn them that I wouldn't answer any questions about Carter and they still brought it up. Luckily for me, the boys would stand up for me and change the subject in the interview.

" a lots been on my mind" I shrugged as I rode circles around him.

" like what exactly" he pushed.

" I have to turn off the machine that's been keeping my dad alive" I confessed.

" I'm so sorry Cai" he said immediately.

Liam's decision not to ask anymore questions is what made me love him even more as a friend. He understood how my emotions worked. I wondered if he was the same. Other than telling me on how his relationship with his sister went sour, I don't really know much about his life which made me feel selfish. Every time we talked it was about me and my stupid problems.

" how's everything with you and Ronny?" I asked.

" she's been really busy with her new album so it's been really hard to see each other lately" he said.

" I'm sure you guys will get through it" I nodded.

" I'm not so sure" he shrugged.