I scribbled down a couple lyrics letting everything that I felt come out. This was my escape from reality and there was no way I wanted to come out.

I finished the song I had spent writing all day and waited. I waited for Harry to come back to finish the song with him. We had written a couple of new songs today, but not including the one that I had in my hands. This one was written while he was gone, while I was alone. Harry had been surprisingly supportive during these past two weeks. Not that I didn't think he'd be supportive, but I didn't think he'd be so attentive to me.

Harry had been by my side 24/7 never letting anyone get in my way. Since I couldn't go right back to the stage because of my surgery, all shows were cancelled till I was authorized by the doctor. I tried convincing the boys to go on without me, but they refused.

The label was furious with the whole situation because they knew this meant losing money. James pulled some strings and convinced the label to just reschedule some dates instead of canceling the tour all together. In my mind I knew the label was starting to regret ever signing me onto the band, I was only causing problems. The thought about giving it all up crossed my mind, but that would mean that I would have to give up the boys all togethet and I wasn't prepared for that.

I glanced up to see the boy with chocolate dark curls pop his head in.

" you finished the song?" he half smiled.

I nodded holding up the notebook to my chest.

" let's hear it" he said.

" I kind of don't want to sing it in front of you" I confessed.

" why not?" he questioned.

" it makes me sound so vunerable and I think you've seen me like that way too many times" I shrugged.

The look in his eyes was soft. The same look he had been looking at me for the past two weeks. I still hadn't decided if it was a caring look and just a pity look. I hoped it was a caring look because I was sick everyone else's pity look towards me. It was hard for me to distinguish since Harry wasn't someone who had many different looks.

" you don't have to worry about that around me, you know I care about you" Harry cracked a smile.

" I know" I half smiled.

*

Leaving the studio was a nightmare. Ever since the story broke about Carter beating me, paparazzi had been crazy around me and the boys. I hated the cameras in my face the way they were forcing it. It felt like an intrusion, emotional painful.

They would yell questions, push each other just to try to get a shot of me in my worst moment. Due to all the bruises, I covered myself al much as I could, even wearing a scarf over my face. Unfortunately for me, they managed to got a shot of me in the lobby of my apartment building with a perfect shot of my busted lip and black eye.

Other than that, the pictures of my bruises and injuries from the police report had gotten released as way making my face on all the tabloids. Because of that, all I wanted to stay hidden, at least for a while. The boys were worried I was going into depression and I couldn't blame them. All I wanted to was stay home and talk to no one other than them.

As Harry and I made our way towards the car, paparazzi with their cameras flashing in our faces. I held my scarf to my hard as much as I could as the flashes burned my eyes. I could see Harry try to push the paparazzi away in front of me. Soon enough we were inside the car and Harry accelerated away.

" do you want to go to the hospital tonight?" Harry asked as he drove through the bright streets.

" not tonight.. the paparazzi is already following us and I don't want them to see us there" I shrugged looking out the window.

Visiting my father as often as I could while being back in New York, made me even more grateful for my life. I told him everything hoping that he could somehow comfort me, but he couldn't.

Suddenly I felt his hand over mine and I flinched immediately pulling away not realizing what I was doing. I glanced over at Harry and saw his grip tighten around the wheel.

" I'm sorry" I whispered.

" it's not your fault" he shook his head.

" but I should be able to open up more, I'm trying" I explained.

Harry glanced over at me and then back onto the road.

" you went through a lot, stuff that you should have never gone through. There's no rush Cailin" he nodded.

I wish I had met this caring Harry much earlier, instead of the impatient rude guy I had. Maybe I wouldn't have made so many mistakes. Betraying Lia. Letting Carter do everything he did to me. Hurting other people, hurting myself.

Forty-eight hours after I was put into the hospital, the cops caught Carter driving through LA. They arrested him and gave his statement. Of course he denied everything but the evidence was too much for him to get out easy. He made bail but he would have to go to court in a week to see what the judge would do to him. James tried to convince me to go and testify against him. I know I should have agreed but I wasn't ready to face him again.

Harry stopped the car into of our apartment complex and gave the keys to the valet. We took the elevator up to the apartment. As we walked towards our apartment door, both of us heard a group of people cheering a laughing. Harry and I glanced over at each other not knowing what to expect.

When I opened the door, all I saw were my friends smiling and laughing at each other. Everyone that I hadn't seen in so long. Niall, Liam, and surprisingly Lia. Lia stood beside Liam with her arms wrapped around his. I could tell she wasn't fully comfortable around the guys anymore. It looked like she had a wall up. I had seen the old picture she posted of us on instagram with the caption telling me to stay strong and that post was a surprise enough. Could that have meant that she forgave me?

Everyone looked up to see Harry and I walk in. They all smiled and cheered. Niall was the first one to come over a hug me. A little piece of home, just what I needed. Then Liam came and picked me off my feet making me feel like I had the best friends in the world. But the one person that I really wanted here wasn't, Willow. I had spent months hating the girl for stupid reasons and now that she wasn't in my everyday life anymore, my feelings had changed drastically.

After I heard the news of Zayn breaking up with Willow, my heart was shattered. I knew it had nothing to do with them. Zayn was just pissed off at her because of me. I had tried calling her but she wouldn't pick up the phone. I didn't go to her house becaseu I didn't want paparazzi to follow me. I just wished I knew what happened when they broke up. Zayn had been silent about the whole thing and wouldn't say a word about it to me.

As Niall talked to me about how he was planning on moving over to to New York, my eyes traveled to where Lia was since she still hadn't said anything to me. To my surprise she was having a conversation with Harry of all people. As she spoke, I could see the small smile on Harry's face. The smile he always had on when he was near her. The smile that I hardly got to see anymore ever since they broke up.

I excused myself from the small get together with the excuse of wanting to change clothes but in reality I just wanted to make sure my make-up was still in place, covering up most of my bruises. Thankfully most of them weren't even purple or black anymore, they were turning green and yellow. I walked into my room anf went straight to the mirror. Everything was in place. Now everyone knew about my bruises but it just made it more embarrassing. I hated that everyone knew my secret now.

A soft knock came from the door.

" come in" I said a loud expecting Liam or even Niall.

But to my surprise, in walked Lia with an innocent look in her eyes. I felt a knot build up in my throat. She closed the door behind her and looked up at me again.

" I know me being is really unexpected but I really needed to talk to you" Lia began.

Harry immediately entered my mind. She was here to tell me that she was going to take him back. She wanted him back after everything. I had my chance but I wasted it. She was here to warned me to back off. Panic started to run through.

" I'm sorry" she whispered.

" what?" I reacted.

" if it wasn't for me, you probably wouldn't have met Carter back then and wouldn't have dated him. He wouldn't have put you through hell" she shook her head looking down at her hands.

I stayed silent. Not because I agreed with her, because I didn't, but because I was shocked she would ever come and apologize to me. I always thought that I would be the first to come and apologize to her.

" Ofcourse I was mad at you but believe me when I say this, I never imagined Carter would ever do anything like that to you" she looked up.

" he's a better actor then anyone ever thought" I chuckled at my own sadness.

" he was doing it for a while huh?" she asked.

I nodded confirming her suspicion.

" you have a lot of support around you, especially Harry" she forced a smile.

" Harry and I aren't together, if that's what you're getting at" I shook my head.

" it's not really my business. I forgave you and Harry. Harry was forced into a situation that should have never happened. I was just delusional. I knew what was going and forced myself to believe I was going crazy" Lia confessed.

" I'm sorry" I whispered.

Lia deserved better. She shouldn't be the one explaining herself. Yet here she was. Lia James was from another time, I swear. Her heart is too good for her own good.

Lia began turning away from me and towards the door.

" Lia, what's going to happen with your movie?" I asked.

I knew that the premiere of Carry On had been pushed aside due to all the bad publicity. The producers and director were scared to release it and flop because of Carter. Whether anyone liked it or not, his career was down the drain. As much as I was glad that Carter wasn't having it easy, the one who was suffering from the consequences was Lia, someone who had nothing to do with the situation.

" as of right now, I don't even think they'll release it anymore" she shrugged.

I knew how much this movie meant to her. It was her second movie that she was starring in and everyone was expecting her best work coming out of it.

" you don't deserve that. I'm not going to let that happen" I shook my head.

Ideas ran through my mind on how to get the production company to release it and have a premiere. Petitions. Social Media. Telling fans to go out and see it. With all that meant that I needed to come out of hiding.

With that decision, I got my phone out of my pocket. I logged into all the social media that I had avoided these two weeks.

I looked back up at Lia and saw a confused expression on her face.

" I'm gonna help you" I told her.

" how?" she asked.

I walked over closer to her and raised my cell phone so the camera could get both of us.

Click.

~

I dont have time right now to write an authors note but I will later tonight! I know it's short but I havent had time this week :( I just wanted to post cause I know you guys have been waiting so patiently, love you guys so much ♡