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JUST CREEPIN'

KAMARION MONTGOMERY
SEPTEMBER 31st; SUNDAY

"MAN I DONT believe this shit. So y'all really done?" Sahid questioned his cousin as they sat in the back yard of his large house.

It was the next day, but it was only ten in the morning so half of them weren't sleep and the other half were. Sahid and bam were amongst the few that were awake.

Bam didn't know Sahid was awake when he made his way down stairs to the back yard where he rolled up a nicely sized blunt and lit it.

It seemed as if after he took his first pull, his cousin appeared. That didn't surprise him though.

He just really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

He had one of the worst nights in his entire life. He felt like something was just chipping at his heart and he slept in so much discomfort. He struggled to sleep and only got a few hours of it.

He wanted to see if he could go to sleep, but his hair appointment with Kourtney was in an hour and a half.

He was starting to wonder if she could just do it at his house today instead of her shop this one time, because he felt like a walking zombie.

"Yeah, I guess so." Bam didn't want to say it , but it was obvious at this point. Jourie had made threats to move on multiple times but now she was serious.

After yesterday he thought he really had a chance, especially after talking about where they went wrong but he was proven wrong again.

Some times he wished he could talk to his dad about it. That was really who he wanted to open up to, but out of respect for jourie he never did.

Samir was the only person he went to advice for, and he couldn't even do that because it would do nothing but break jouries trust even more. He swore he bent over backwards for her, just for them to not work out on the end.

"Maybe we wasn't meant to be." He stated after a long excruciating moment of silence. "Maybe she was right. Shit happen for a reason. Maybe it was a sign that we just don't need to be together." He continued.

"She was way to scared of our own parents finding out about us. We would've never worked." He kept trying to convince himself because that how he felt.

He wanted to believe deep in his heart that she had made the right decision moving on from him. Maybe he could find somebody who he could actually bring home to meet his parents.

"You really feel that way, or you just talking to make yourself feel better?" Sahid asked him. He never thought he'd see the day where he'd give up on them.

After three long months they were no closer to being back together.

"I just want her to be happy. I wanna be happy too. I wanna be able to bring my girl home to my parents , and have a bond wit my siblings. I wanna be able to take my girl out in public and do shit for her, and I wanna be able to post her. Shit I wanna be able to scream how much I love her on top of a roof top if I wanted to. Ion think I can ever get that with jourie." He expressed.

"She care too much about what everybody else thinks instead of herself. She don't wanna tell people bout us because they gone judge her. She love me but she don't wanna be with me no more because she think people gonna judge her for getting back with me after what happened." He kept going.

"Would you judge her Sahid?"

He shook his head honestly. "Nah man, the heart want what it want sometimes. As long as you and her sure that y'all won't make the same mistakes who am I to say anything about y'all relationship?" Sahid gave his honest answer.

"You think yaya would judge her?"

Sahid spoke again, "nah, she already know the deal."

"You my sister would judge her?" He continued.

"Man hell nah." Sahids face scrunched up.

"My point. Y'all the only three people in our life that know about us. I mean Shanell got her own thoughts, but I'll never rat jourie out like that. If she don't want nobody to know then that's what it is." He went on. "I feel like I took consideration of how she felt more then she did me. If she just wanted to be in the dark for the rest of our lives, then we shouldn't even have took it that far. Now I love her more than I do myself, and I don't know what to do wit myself."

This was the most he had talked about it since it went down. He was trying to get everything out, so he could work on himself too.

He didn't know why he did what he did other than he wasn't feeling heard. There was no communication and no matter how much he tried they never got to a mutual agreement.

"So what you gone do now?" Sahid asked him genuinely.

"Whatchu mean, like in general?" Bam turned his head taking the blunt back from him. He took a long pull, and let the smoke spill from his nostrils. "Ion know, might start working at the rec or something to take up my time some more. I'll never get over her wit all the free time I got to think about shorty." He shrugged.

"Working at the rec is crazy. Never thought I'll hear you say that shit." Sahid laughed shaking his head.

"I mean jourie stay at my house more than her own. She barely go to the rec. I gotta stay away from her ass. I swear she be having me in a trance." He spoke truthfully.

"Damn bam, what about y'all lil dog?" Sahid was trying to find any reason he thought bam would use to spend time with her.

"We can be cool for the dog. I like that lil fucker, sadly." He admitted. They had only got her yesterday but she was cool, and liked to cuddle up under him. He liked that.

"And you know what's crazy to me? I think she was more scared of telling my parents then hers." He thought about it. "Her parents cool, but she swore mine was gone look down on us like some demons demons." He shook his head.

"And it's crazy because my grandma on my mom side and my papa on my dad side was together when my parents got together. Ain't that like the same thing?" He looked at Sahid for his opinion.

"Shit that might actually be worse. At least y'all parents ain't getting married or no shit like that.y'all got y'all own set of parents." He co-signed his cousin , causing bam to nod.

"I'm over it though. She wanted me to leave her alone and she got it." He came to terms with reality, taking another hit from his blunt. He passed the remains over to Sahid and waited for him to finish.

"You hungry now?" Sahid asked him randomly.

Bam nodded eagerly. "Got munchies and cotton mouth like a bitch." He picked up the black ashtray he had sitting next to him on the ground and ashed what was left.

"Auntie cooked ?" Sahid asked.

"Shit, you know it." Bam slid the glass sliding door open and was the first one to talk inside followed by Sahid.

"Oh y'all were outside? We thought y'all left or something." Jourie spoke sitting at the table with everybody else not including Lanayah. She was still sleep.

"I made food." Kamaria stated, sitting at the table with her phone in her hand, and a fork in her other hand.

"Preciate chu ma." Bam muttered softly, kissing her on the cheek before he and Sahid made their way to where to food was in order for them to fix some.

"Leave some for yaya. She still sleeping." She reminded them. She could already see it in his face that he had been smoking.

"Yes ma'am." Bam responded to his mother, and started fixing his food. Once he finished he looked around at the table seeing his cousin had took the seat in between kennedi and his father, so he would have to sit between jourie and kamaria.

The kitchen table was big, but it could never fit all of them at once since there were just so many of them. Usually he would be ecstatic, but he didn't know how to feel now.

"You okay bam." Samaria tilted her head with furrowed eyebrows staring back at her older brother.

He nodded silently even though he was struggling to keep his eyes open. Being high on top of no sleep was a combination for destruction.

"Nigga high as hell." Samir called out, using his fork to pick up a piece of the waffle he'd just cut.

Bams lips twitched and he laughed since he found it funny.

"So, Samaria you still talking to that lil boy?" Kamaria asked her daughter and everyone's eyes flew to Samaria.

"What lil boy." Bam looked at his sister. She looked right back him never daring to break her gaze.

"Nah we cool off each other." She answered accordingly which was true. She wasn't feeling how possessive he was over her. Some people liked it, but she wasn't one of them.

"Oh damn. What about you jourie?" Kamaria shifted her eyes to the other girl instead. She wanted to ask Samaria more but just like her father, she wouldn't answer the questions and she knew.

"She was talking to some boy at the pool yesterday. He called her a sherm head." Samir frowned again thinking about it . It made him sick.

Everybody gasped. "Who called you a sherm head jourie?" Kymani looked worried. He knew exactly what that meant thanks to his grandpa.

"Nooo, guys he said don't be sherm. Like don't be weird." She cleared it up quickly. But Samir wasn't hearing it.

"What ever. Shit shouldnt even be in yall vocabulary.
Don't bring his ass around me." He muttered shaking his head.

Jourie groaned sadly, and dropped her on the table. He had already unintentionally made a bad impression with an important person in her life who's opinion she valued a lot.

Samir didn't mean to be so harsh but he couldn't help it. He hated that word so much and he had a good reason to do so.

Bam sighed, "well I'm finna go take a nap before I gotta get my hair done." He informed them finishing off his plate. He had ate it so fast no one barely realized he was done.

"Who's doing your hair?" Kamaria frowned.

"Kourtney."

"Oh, she can just come over here." She stated picking her phone up.

"Aight ma that's cool wit me." He told her standing up from the table. He made his way upstairs, in his room. Once he got inside, he removed his hoodie from his body.

He kicked his shoes off, and flopped in his bed, lifting his head to put his phone on the charger. "This shit gone drive me crazy, I already know." He muttered to himself.

He looked at his phone, and noticed that Shanell was calling his phone. Her number wasn't saved anymore since he cut her off but he still recognized it .

"Yo," he spoke once he answered the phone putting it up to his ear.

"Bam, can you please drop this shit already. I told you I'm sorry for fucking with your god sister." She started immediately.

"You not sorry you just want me to forgive you. Why you keep acting like this? Me and you ain't been together in almost four months. You cut Shanell." He reminded her.

"You wasn't saying that when you was cheating on your girlfriend with me! Whoever that dumb ass hoe is!" She yelled in his ear, and he knew it was about time to wrap it up.

"Is that all Shanell?" He replied calmly, enraging her even more. She hated when he acted like this.

"No, I miss you. Please bam." She found herself begging, but it did nothing to move him.

He felt so numb, he couldn't even pretend to care. His life was in shambles and he needed to get it under control. She wasn't making it any better.

"Bye Shanell." He hung up on her, but then his room door creaked open. He huffed loudly feeling like he couldn't catch a break.

"Kamarion." Jourie closed his door behind her. She knew it was risky but she felt some type of way, and she didn't know why. "Can we just talk for a minute."

"Wassup jourie." His tone was void of any emotion.

His eyes were closed at this point but he was still aware. She sat on the edge of his bed staring at him. "I just can't see how any of this is my fault." She started.

"It's not and I never said it was jourie." He felt like he was repeating himself over and over again. "If you don't wanna be with me I've came to terms with that shit." He stayed causing her heart to drop.

"You just gonna hold the shit over my head until the day  I die. It's no point. I've never once tried to excuse what I did to you. I say it all the time. I fucked up and I can admit that—but now you using that to your advantage because you know I'll do anything you want me to. That's how much I love yo ass."

"You might think different, but me being me, I feel different. It's not fair how you treating me any more. If you don't plan on getting back with me just keep it real. You wasting my time knowing this not what you want anymore. As soon as you find somebody else it's over for me. So I'm doing you the honors." He finished off , rolling over on his side.

"Why didn't you just break up with me bam." Her vision grew blurry. "Why did you have to cheat on me."

His eyes snapped open, and he sat up quicker than intended.

"I didn't break up with you because I still wanted to be with you even though you hurt the fuck out my feelings. That's the type of hold you got on me. With Shanell it was just sex and that's not an excuse but it is what it is with her. I love yo ass jourie I don't know how many times I gotta say it. But I felt slighted at the way you was treating me. You was brushing me off and dismissing my feelings and if I would've did that to you , you would've probably felt worse than I did. But since you got me wrapped around yo finger and I love you so much breaking up never even came to mind. I bent over ass backwards to make you happy, doing whatever you wanted. You don't know how many times I wanted to go to my dad and ask him for advice or tell him about something exciting that happened with us but out of respect I didn't because you don't even want him to know about us." He rambled.

"You can't sit here and tell me you don't understand how I felt. You always made up excuses and I always listened to you." He went on. "Like now, you making up excuses of why you won't get back with me but you won't let me try to fix it. You using me jourie, and it's fucked up. I fucked up big time when I cheated on you, but you been fucking me over and I'm just ready for it all to be over and done. So you got it now. You win. Ima leave you alone now." He laid back down closing his eyes.

Tears streamed down jouries face as she listened to his words. She wiped her face thinking about how he always owned up to what he did to lead to demise of their relationship, but she never did the same. Now, she wasn't sure if they would ever back together again, and that hurt more than ever.

She's never felt so horrible until now. It was like now they were really done. He had even told her to move on. She was growing physically sick by the second and it was like they were breaking up all over again.

Her eyes darted to his phone when it lit up and started ringing. She recognized the number since Shanell played on her phone until she blocked her.

"So you telling me you still not fucking with this bitch but she calling your phone?" She snapped before she snatched his phone from his nightstand, and he didn't even try to stop her. She sniffed wiping her face answering the regular call at the same time.

His eyes fluttered open slightly but they were way to heavy for him. "Hello." Jourie answered his phone and there was a long pause as she put it on speaker phone.

"Who is this? Give bam the phone." Shanell instantly got jealous.

Jourie stayed quiet. "And why he got a bitch over there he foul as fuck! Knowing we was just fucking last week. Tell that nigga I'm pregnant, bye." Shanell lied, before hanging up.

Jourie felt her entire heart shatter. "L-last week?" She stuttered feeling like all the food she had just ate was about to come right back up. She could feel her world crashing down on her.

"You just preached to me about how you fucked up and was trynna do better but you still fucking that bitch and now she pregnant." The girl had a deep frown.

"She's lying, jourie. And you a fool if you believe that shit." He answered nonchalantly which had her about to go crazy. He never acted this way.

"Well you sure ain't trynna do shit to defend yourself. It's cool though, we done like you just said. Imma go fuck another nigha." She tossed his phone standing up.

"Because she lying." He replied, but she was already gone, and this time he wasn't going to chase her.

Don't ask me bout no other book this my favorite one rn!

Thoughts and predictions?

MYA OUT🫡