Emilia was fuming. She ran her hand over her face, pushing the loose strands of hair away, as she fiercely scrolled through reddit on her laptop. She was trying to work out her Calculus problems and none of her solutions were making sense. She had been trying to get through the assignment since getting home an hour prior and it was going to hell. She was searching for any sort of quick problem solving solutions they wouldn't take her an hour a question- which was the rate she was at. As hard as she had been working lately, she felt so behind. She had been spending so much time SAT prepping and working on her college applications that she still hadn't even read half of the last chapter.

She finally found a document that looked somewhat promising and began printing it out, marking a check mark next to the full page to-do list she had created at the start of the week. She wasn't even a quarter of the way done with it.  She could have texted Miko or another one of her classmates for some of their notes, but she would rather die. She had garnered a reputation for being the overachiever and the one who others came to for notes. With her class standing still in jeopardy and seemingly half of her senior glass already garnering at least one college acceptance, there was no way she was going to lose that.

She let out a loud sigh as she stapled the pages, putting them to the side to look at in a few hours. Now that Lia had math, somewhat, in order she had to move onto her AP Government Exam that was the next day. She grimaced even at the sight of her textbook poking out of her backpack- knowing she hadn't even finished the last chapter and the exam would cover three. It was already nearing six. How could Dr.Sanders just let her sleep when she had a million things to do? And she knew this! This didn't even take into account the amount of SAT prep she had wanted to finish or the way her stomach dropped whenever she thought about the test being in less than 48 hours.

Lia went to grab her water bottle to take the two pills and get started on the government binge she had before her when a knock at her door interrupted her plans. She quickly pushed her book on top of the bag with seconds to spare when her father popped his head into her room.

"How's it going?"

"Dad, I don't have time for this,"

Lin leaned against the doorframe, pursing his lips as he could foresee the direction the conversation was headed towards, "Lia, we need to talk,"

Lia kept her eyes focused on the textbook she was opening, "I know mom sent you in here, and I know you want to talk about what happened at therapy and I already told you I don't have time,"

"Well, we are going to talk," Lin stated as he stepped into the room, and closed the door behind him. His tone wasn't loud or harsh, but it was firm. "And mom didn't send me in here. She told me about the call from Dr.Sanders and she's worried about you. We both are."

Lia rolled her eyes, as she flipped through her notebook and started writing down the bullet points from the text. Adults always manage to freak out over the smallest of things, "I fell asleep and then had to rush home to study, which I'm trying to do right now ... and what the hell ever happened to patient confidentiality?" She said frustrated, shaking her pen as it started to die not even a sentence in.

Lin ran his hand across his forehead as he sat down on his daughter's bed. He wasn't a stickler for cursing; Lia rarely let it get out of control. However, it was also a sign this conversation was going to go in circles, "Dr. Sanders didn't tell us anything you said," he assured her, "But she does have every right to call us if she has genuine concern for you. Lia, you're driving yourself into the ground,"

The teenager tried tuning out the conversation as she searched through her bag for a new pen, "You fell asleep during the middle of your session. You hardly come out your room anymore and you're getting more irritable by the day,"

"You'd be irritated too if you were days from retaking the biggest test of your life and nobody seemed to take that seriously," She muttered under her breath, although Lin still caught every word.

He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it as his daughter went back to writing her notes. He wanted to assure her that the SAT was not the most important test of her life and that she had already received a rather impressive score on her last one. That wasn't what she needed though, and he needed to give her the space to speak freely. He saw so much of himself in her: the good and the bad.

"We do take that seriously, mija," Lin chose his words cautiously, "You know how many parents wish they had a kid who is as hardworking as you? I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself, too" 

"I've seen you stay awake at all hours when you're writing or have a deadline," Lia countered as she continued writing, "Why is it any different when I have things that are just as important to me?"

"Because it doesn't seem like you're balancing it well," He admitted, "This semester seems like it's weighing on you more than even last year, and you had more APs then,"

Lia didn't think then was a good time for her father to find out she ended up taking more. "Last year I wasn't trying to figure out my entire future! And if you're that concerned, then you sitting here and talking to me isn't going to lead me to finishing my homework any earlier tonight,"

Lin breathed out a heavy sigh, his hands grasped his knees. "What are you working on?"

"History test tomorrow,"

"Part of growing up is knowing when to ask for help and using your resources." He stated simply, hoping his daughter would at least take the hint. It's not like he wrote a Tony award winning musical about history.

Lia flipped to the next page, resting her head into the palm of her hand, closing her eyes for a moment. The words that her eyes were skimming weren't making sense in her mind, on top of the feeling of suffocation from her dad being right on top of her, "When I want help, I'll ask,"

Lin bit the inside of his cheek. He and Lia had always had a special bond since he first met his daughter when she was fourteen. He prided himself in having a strong bond with his teenager, and having an open dialogue with her. Lately, that seemed to be changing. "Alright. Dinner's in fifteen,"

"I'm not hungry,"

"Have you eaten anything today?" When he was met only with silence, he knew the answer. "Finish that page then come out,"

"I just said I'm not hungry- " Lia replied shortly, looking up for the first time that night as her dad got off from her bed.

"I'm sorry Lia, but I'm not going to let you skip eating to study. It's not healthy," Lin stated, his tone defeated, as he left the irritated teenager to herself.

Lia grabbed the nearest object towards her, the notebook, and threw it at the closed door. She was glad the door was closed; she knew it was a juvenile thing to do. She couldn't help it though. A few weeks ago, her dad spoke to her as an adult after she threw a college party gone wild. Now, because she was working hard and trying to get into one of the top colleges in the country, he was treating her like a kid? He was not only acting like a hypocrite, but had taken away valuable study time!

She looked down at the page in her notebook, scribbled with half sentences and bullet points from the last few pages of the text. She leaned her head back in the chair, as she mentally mapped out the remaining hours in her day to account for, undoubtedly, having to redo the notes. That wouldn't even account for everything else she still had to have finished by the morning.

Lia pressed her index finger to her temple as she felt a headache starting to come on. She tried to refocus her concentration on her reading, but trying to retain the different ideologies of federalism versus anti-federalism was easier said than done in the moment.

She spotted the bag of pills under her textbook and pulled them out. She wouldn't have time to reup before tomorrow. She would need to pull her fourth all nighter that week, but with the amount of stuff she had to finish, what other option did she have?She had never taken three at once, but she had to ensure she wouldn't fall asleep that night. Lia grabbed her water bottle and swallowed the remaining pills. She could go back to her normal dose after the SAT; sleep could wait.
————————

Vanessa was placing the ceramic dish of chicken cutlets on their dining room table when she saw her husband step out from the hallway. They shared a quick look, and she could tell from his expression the conversation hadn't gone over well with their daughter. She knew how stubborn Emilia could get, but something had been feeling off. She flashed him a sympathetic smile. Lin mirrored one back before sitting down with the twins who were enjoying an episode of 'PJ Masks' that Vanessa had turned on so she could finish dinner. She would ask him about the conversation later.

Soon the sounds of the television were lost in the giggles as Lin draped Sebastian and Stella over his shoulders, bringing them to the bathroom to no doubt wash any remnants of goldfish off of their adorable faces.

Vanessa placed the last plate on the table when, to her shock, she looked up to find her eldest coming out of her room.

"Nice to see you joining us," Vanessa remarked with a small smile. She was met back with nothing but silence from Lia.

"V," Vanessa's eyes looked up towards her husband who was coming out of the bathroom, twins in tow. A quick shake of his head indicated to her to not push anything with Lia. She went over towards Lin, grabbing the outstretched arms of Sebastian and set him in his booster seat as Lin did the same with Stella. It was rare that the five of them had a night in together. If she had to walk on eggshells, so be it.

Dinner went along with little issues, sans a tiny tantrum from Stella not wanting to eat the broccoli on her plate. For the most part, the twins took up the majority of the conversation as they jabbed on about the events of the day while their parents tried to make sure they got some bites in between. Lia remained quiet, taking a few small bites of her food, looking as if she was being tortured. She wasn't even interacting with her siblings, something completely out of her character.

"So, did you get all the details worked out this afternoon?" Vanessa asked before she took a sip of her wine.

Lin nodded, "Yeah. We'll fly out to California the day before the induction and stay for the week." He wiped at his mouth with a napkin, "I spoke to my dad earlier and he thinks they'll just fly out the same day as us."

"That's great! I texted Cita earlier, and she thinks they're going to stay a few extra days to spend the time with Hunter." Vanessa cut up another cutlet of chicken on her plate for Sebastian.

"Thank you!" Seb replied enthusiastically before stuffing his face with chicken.

"Remember to eat slowly, buddy," Vanessa reminded gently, "That reminds me though. Lia, your aunt mentioned that Hunter's not coming here anymore for break?"

"Yeah," Lia answered shortly.

"I thought you guys had made plans?"

"I'll see her next month," Lia shrugged, "We both have a lot going on,"

Vanessa and Lin shared a look. They knew that was code for Lia had, more than likely, told her cousin not to come because she wanted more time to study.

Lin cleared his throat, "Maybe you could stay out a few extra days when we're in California, then? I'm sure Hunter will want to give you the run of the town,"

"Maybe," The attempt of the peace offering seemed to not do anything as Lia kept her eyes on her plate, tapping her fork incessantly against her plate.

"We'll talk more about it," Vanessa commented.

"You know, speaking of phone calls," Lin probed, hoping a change of subject would do some good, "My agent got a call from your school today Lia,"

Lia's eyes immediately looked up at her dad. "Why?" Did the school find out about the drugs? Or her extra classes? And what did that have to do with her dad's agent?

"They are planning graduation already, and wanted to know if I'd be interested in being the commencement speaker," Lin couldn't help the grin that came onto his face when he said the words. He had always been a proud Hunter graduate and due to various scheduling conflicts, hadn't had the chance to give a commencement speech at his alma mater. For it to line up with his daughter's graduation had him over the moon.

"That's amazing, babe!" Vanessa exclaimed.

"I was pretty shocked when she told me,"

"I don't fucking believe this," It was the first non-prompted full sentence Lia had spoken all dinner.

"Emilia!"

"That's a bad word!" Stella shouted over her mother's chastisement.

"Lia," Lin tried to take the sudden change of temperament down, although her words did sting, "I did tell my agent that I would check with you first,"

Lia's face held a hard glare, "Why does it matter? Every other day of my life is the goddamn Lin- Manuel Miranda show! Why not add the one day that is supposed to be about me to the list!"

"That's a bad word, too!" Stella repeated with the same fervor as Lin looked taken aback, not having at all expected the outburst from his daughter.

Sebastian, the empathetic toddler, bursted into tears from the commotion, only adding to the chaos.

"Go to your room," Vanessa said glaring at her daughter as she quickly got out of her chair to comfort her son.

Lia swung herself out of her chair, "Gladly!" She pushed the chair in, shaking the entire table before storming off to her room. The slam of the door was the last thing the stunned family heard. Vanessa let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding as she ran her fingers through Sebastian's hair. She felt her stomach churn when she saw her husband's face.

"Lin," She started to say, but stopped when he put his hand up.

"I'm fine V," His cracking voice indicated otherwise, "I just need a minute," She could see the welled up tears in his eyes before he headed out onto the terrace. Her first instinct was to follow him, but knew she couldn't. She still had the twins to console, and knew that was the main reason Lin had left the room. She was left with two toddlers who were in tears, as Stell had begun to cry when she saw Sebastian weeping, Stella, and overwhelming feelings of anger and frustration towards her eldest daughter.

———

The bedroom was dark, sans the side table lamp that was on, but the seventeen year old was still wide awake at three in the morning. Emilia was pounding away at the keys on her laptop as she finished up the conclusion of her second SAT practice essay of the night, or rather, morning. She had done nothing but school work since she was sent to her room at six. Other than a twenty minute chastisement from her mom on her "disrespectful and hurtful behavior" she had been alone. She didn't care. She had every right to be pissed, and whenever she thought about it she felt herself get upset all over again.

She constantly felt in her father's shadow no matter where she was: school, the city, even halfway around the world. The minute anyone found out who he was, the conversation would segue itself to be about him or one of his projects. It was even the reason she had decided to switch her major from English to undecided, something she hadn't discussed with anyone. It felt like a slap in the face to have the one day that was going to be about her and her accomplishments, turn into the graduation where Lin-Manuel Miranda was going to be the prized commencement speaker.

She took another sip of her Monster as she scanned over the open browser, correcting any grammatical errors. She pressed the submit button once she was pleased and placed another check on her to do list, smiling as she did so.

It was the first night this week where she didn't feel even a bit tired as the hours went on. This was usually around the time where she would need a quick power nap, but she was on fire! She had completed and reviewed her history outline, finished the remainder of her calculus homework and got through two SAT practice essays. At the rate she was going, she might even finish her SAT math and reading problems by sunrise.

She searched her desk for her SAT workbook to start on math but didn't see it anywhere. Finally spotting it in the corner of her room, she got up from her chair to grab it. Almost instantly, she felt dizzy. She tried steadying herself by grabbing her bed post, chalking it up to not having stood up for the past few hours. She took a few seconds until the feeling of the room shaking slowed down.

Lia took a few steps across the room to grab the book, but the feeling returned. Her hand met the bedroom wall to balance herself onto something. It was barely seconds before she slid herself to the ground, feeling her legs begin to quiver. The room grew hot and she felt her chest beginning to pound. Lia tried to remember the directions that Dr. Sanders had given her whenever she was having a panic attack.

Blue cup.

Purple jacket.

Black rug.

Lia felt the tears stroll down her cheeks as she realized whatever was happening to her wasn't a panic attack. Her eyes scanned the room swiftly as she tried to regain her focus, but nothing was working and her vision blurred from her tears. Her chest was growing tighter and she felt each breath of air harder to grasp onto than the last. She was terrified and knew she needed help.

"Dad," her voice was shallow as her breathing grew harder, "Dad," she tried repeating louder.

When she saw nobody enter her room, Lia knew in her mind that her voice wasn't carrying. "Dad!" She shouted, feeling the pain in her chest tighten. Her tears streamed faster and her throat felt tight. It was when she saw Lin enter her room, a look of fear on his face that she felt a smidge of ease. Then, the room went dark.