Remus

I was anxious for Sirius to get back to the hospital. Over the few days he was gone, I kept having nightmares. No one told me my heart stopped during surgery. It was something I just knew.

As the days went on I was allowed to leave my hospital room as long as a nurse or Mrs. and Mr. Evans was pushing me around in a wheelchair.

I got to eat my meals with them in the cafeteria every day, so that makes me happy. In the afternoons, my physical therapist takes me to the exercise room and helps me with my breathing.

First it was walking around, and by the second day I was walking on the treadmill. They made me wear a face mask everywhere in the hospital except for when I was eating or in my room, which was reasonable. I couldn't risk getting sick with my weak system fresh out of surgery.

Every night I would FaceTime Sirius for a long time. We'd talk about basic things, what happened in classes that day and what I'd been up to at the hospital. But he seemed distant and distracted. I tried to confront him about it, asked him what was up, but he got defensive so I didn't ask again. Something was definitely bothering him though, and I was determined to figure out what.

It was that Saturday morning when my friends showed up for the weekend. I was sitting in the cafeteria drinking coffee with Mum when I felt Sirius hug me from behind. "Guess who," he said. I could hear the smile in his voice.

I turned in my seat to give him a kiss.

"I missed you," I told him.

"I missed you, too," he said, kissing me again. Mum cleared her throat. I turned back around, blushing, to find Mrs. Evans smirking.

"You two are cute as hell, but it's too early for all this. I'm going to go, Petunia asked me and your father to meet her and Vernon for lunch and I have to get ready."

I felt my face go warm at how she called Mr. Evans my father and how she referred to herself as my mother. It made me feel so loved and wanted in this harsh world. Maybe my biological parents didn't love me, but these wonderful people did and that's more than I could ever ask for.

Sirius shoved me over on the seat and sat down next to me so we were both only half on the seat. He laced our fingers together in between us and rested his head on my shoulder, closing his eyes. He hummed in content and pressed a kiss to my collar bone.

"Hey stop it's 'too early for all this'," I said and Sirius snorted, leaning up to kiss me again. I smiled into the kiss and Sirius stood, using our interlaced fingers to pull me up.

I had gotten rid of the wheelchair yesterday afternoon, so I still wasn't super steady on my feet so Sirius walked close beside me with an arm around my waist. We took a break in our walking for me to take a quick breath. All this moving around was a little hard on my new lungs. I need time to adjust and adapt.

I pulled my mask out of my pocket and slipped it on over my nose and mouth and nodded to Sirius and we continued our trek. When we got to my room, the other three were waiting for us.

Lily stood, smiling. She pulled me into a hug and rocked us around, careful not to squeeze me too hard. "How are you feeling?" She asked me.

I returned her smile, but she couldn't see because of the mask so I let it hang around my neck. "I'm good. Totally fine. Everything's going smoothly." It was a lie, obviously, but I hoped my genuine tone would cover that up.

Lily seemed to buy it and went to sit on the bed next to James. Soon we were all sitting on the bed, talking about the last few days and how finals were in a month and a half and Lily had already started revising. James scoffed at that, but Peter's wide eyes filled with fear.

"Should I be revising?" He squeaked.

"Yes," Lily and I said at the same time James and Sirius said, "No." We all laughed, but Peter didn't look comforted in the least.

After awhile later, Lily moved to the chair beside the bed and pulled out her laptop to work on homework and James and Peter sat on the two chairs by the window and played some sort of multiplayer game on their phones. Sirius and I took advantage of all the new space on the bed and Sirius stretched out and I laid next to him, head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

*******

Sirius

I laid there next to Remus, smiling sweetly down at his sleeping form. He had my shirt clutched tightly in his fist, eyes rolling around under his eyelids as he dreamed. He must've been tired from our walk that morning because he was out like a light. Lily stood over us for a minute with her phone camera out and snapped a few pictures.

James and Peter had since left the hospital for a little while for dinner and it was just Lily, Remus, and I in the room. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were still away with the Dursleys.

As we laid there in near silence, with my arm around Remus, I tapped my fingers on his arm. It was a persistent tap tap, tap tap, tap tap.

After awhile, my legs started to fall asleep from the way Remus was laying on me, so I sighed and shifted, stopping my finger tapping.

Maybe that's what did it.

Remus shifted against me, letting out a whimper. I frowned as Remus's fingers tightened around my shirt and his breathing quickened.

Lily glanced up from her laptop.

"Remus?" I asked quietly. His breath was coming out in sharp, short, panicky gasps and suddenly his eyes shot open and he sat up suddenly.

He was shaking badly and I hurried to sit up. I pulled him into me and rubbed soothing circles on his chest to help sooth his breathing.

He put his hand over mine on his chest and leaned his head back onto my shoulder, finally calming down.

"Hey babe, what's the matter? You're alright now, it was just a scare is all."

Lily stayed seated and watched, trusting me to handle things.

Remus took a long while to answer, instead giving himself time to control his breath and rest.

He closed his eyes and I feared he'd fallen asleep again when he spoke. "I've been having nightmares," he admitted.

I frowned, laying us back down against the pillow as Lily left the room. "What about?" I asked quietly, gripping his hand tightly in between us.

He kept his eyes closed and curled farther into my side. "I just--it's weird things is all. Sometimes I'm in the hospital for my surgery and sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I'm somewhere...else. Last night, I was in this dark tunnel, and I could see the sun at the end of it. I started walking towards it, but then I heard my grandmother's voice. She said, 'Not yet, Remus. Go back.' I woke up in a fright then too."

I digested all of this. The first one made enough sense, based on the trauma of his surgery. But the last one left me with a bad feeling. Did it relate to when he'd died, just for a few minutes?

"Do you think your surgery jogged your memory of your grandma and your subconscious had her talk to you?" I asked.

Remus shook his head. "That's the thing. She died years before I was born. I never met her. But I heard her voice and I just knew it was her."

I stayed quiet and the silence stretched for another several minutes.

"I know I died, Sirius," Remus whispered at last, hand squeezing mine. I blanched.

"What? How?" The doctors had given us strict orders for the time being not to mention it to him.

I heard Remus sniffle and I felt his tears on my shirt. "I just know. It's just something I can feel."

He was shaking again. I held him tighter, all I could do at the moment was give him comfort.

"I'm sorry," I said. I wasn't entirely sure what I was apologizing for, but it felt right. Remus sighed against my chest and fell back asleep.

*******

ℍ𝕖𝕪 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕘𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥?!? 𝕀 𝕗𝕚𝕘𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕦𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕤 𝕠𝕟 𝕞𝕪 𝕜𝕖𝕪𝕓𝕠𝕒𝕣𝕕!!!!ᴛʜɪs ɪs sᴜᴘᴇʀ ɪᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ʙɪɢ ɴᴇᴡs ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴛʜᴘᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴀʟʟ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴋɴᴏᴡ. ITᔕ ᔕᑌᑭᗴᖇ ᗴ᙭ᑕITIᑎᘜ(TᕼIᔕ Oᑎᗴᔕ ᗰY ᖴᗩᐯOᖇITᗴ ᗷTᗯ) ᗩᒪᔕO ᕼOᑭᗴ YOᑌ ᗴᑎᒍOYᗴᗪ Tᕼᗴ ᔕTOᖇY TᕼᗩᑎK YOᑌ ᗩᒪᒪ ᔕO ᗰᑌᑕᕼ ᖴOᖇ ᖇᗴᗩᗪIᑎᘜ!