Remus

When I woke up, I was immediately aware of a burning pain in my chest. I sat up in a panic to find that Sirius wasn't there, which only worsened my panic. But then I heard something clattering in the kitchen and I calmed down, realizing that Sirius must've gotten up to make breakfast or something. 

I unhooked my G-tube and crawled out of bed, wincing as I went. My lungs constricted painfully with each breath and I was shaking slightly, both with the pain and the nerves of what it meant. At that point, I was running off the logic that maybe if I ignored it, it would go away. 

With shaking hands, I looped my nasal cannula under my nose and pulled on a sweater. I had to grab the door frame on my way out and I inched my way to the kitchen where Sirius was standing frying eggs. 

"Hey babe, you want some eggs?" The smell hit me and I gagged, feeling nauseous all of a sudden. 

"No thanks," I said quietly, rubbing my chest to try and ease the pain there. I sat down at the counter and pulled my pills over to me, taking them as fast as my sore throat would allow. 

Sirius frowned, immediately on high alert.

"You're shaking," he noted. "Remus, are you alright? Honestly?"

My face felt hot and flushed. "M'fine, Sirius. Just..." I couldn't think of an excuse, so I didn't say anything at all. Sirius came over to me, eggs forgotten. He reached out a hand and felt my forehead. His frown deepened. 

"Remus, you're burning up, we should go to the hospital."

My veins seemed to freeze up in my body and I started coughing, struggling to suck in enough air. 

"No..." I pleaded. 

Sirius gave me a stern look. "Do you need something to drink? Here, let me get you a glass of water."

I felt like I had something to prove to him. I struggled to stand, immediately regretting it as blood pounded in my head and my legs shook. 

"I'll get it myself," I said, rounding the counter to get at the sink. Sirius huffed in frustration and went over to the stove. 

"Damn it, I burnt the eggs," he said, turning off the stove and setting the pan, eggs and all, in the sink, deciding that it wasn't worth another go. 

I hadn't yet made it to the sink when another wave of dizziness hit me and I careened to the side, catching myself on the edge of the counter. 

There was a ringing in my ears. 

"Rey! Remus! Remus, tell me what's wrong! Are you okay?"

It took me a minute to realize that it was Sirius fretting about me, holding me up by my shoulders. 

I suddenly felt like I was going to cry, all the fear catching up to the pain. "No," I whimpered.

My hands and feet were numb, a tingly sensation spreading through my limbs. My lungs felt that way too, except like it was a sharp, stabbing pain there rather than little needles. 

My vision started to blur and I met Sirius's eyes before my knees gave out, too weak to hold me up anymore. 

*******

Sirius

I let out a cry of surprise as Remus's knees gave out. He whimpered when I caught him, eyes rolling back in his head. 

I was breathing in short panicky gasps. I didn't know what to do. 

What would Lily do, what would Lily do, what would Lily do?

It might be scary, but if you're calm, he'll be calm, echoed Lily's voice in my head. She'd told me that back when Remus stayed over the first time. I tried to take a deep breath and calm down. 

I looked down at Remus in my arms and realized just how sweaty he was, and he was shivering and shaking, too. 

I shook him gently. 

"Remus. Rey, come on, wake up. We have to go. Can you walk?"

He blinked back to consciousness and nodded tiredly. I placed a kiss on his forehead, outwardly calm, though I was screaming on the inside. A part of me kept saying, this is it. This is how he dies, and I wanted nothing more than to tell that part of me to shut the fuck up. 

I helped him stand and he swayed. 

"Here," I said, wrapping an arm around his waist. "You lean on me."

We went quickly to his room and I replaced the oxygen cart with the bag for convenience, and then grabbed the keys off the counter, wrapping a scarf around his neck on the way out the door. 

It was tedious, getting Remus to the elevator and then through the small parking lot, finally setting him down in the passengers seat. I squeezed his hand and shut the door, running around the front of Lily's car to get into the driver's seat. I put the key in the ignition and turned it. 

But the car didn't start.

Panic bubbled up from the pit of my stomach as I tried again. And again. The battery had quit. Remus must've left the light on from when he was reading in the car. 

I felt close to tears looking over at Remus with his head leaning against the window, body shaking with fever and coughs. I looked around for a plan B, but of course James's van was gone. The only other vehicle was...my motorbike. 

"I'll be right back, I promise," I told Remus, but he didn't even really react. I tore out of the car and into the apartment building, skidding to a stop at our door and fumbling with the key. I rammed into my door to get into my bedroom and searched around, grabbing the keys to the motorbike. 

I spotted one of Remus's sweaters on the floor and I grabbed it, figuring that if I had to drive him to the hospital on the motorbike, that he would be cold. I searched around frantically for my helmets, throwing aside dirty laundry and flipping over chairs.

The living room was a right mess when I was through looking. That was about when I realized that James took both of my helmets to get them painted earlier in the week and they were still sitting in the trunk with him, on their camping trip. 

I cursed as tears really did start to fall. I sprinted out of my apartment, almost forgetting to lock the door, and ran all the way to get Remus. The whole way I reassured myself that I was a good driver and nothing bad would happen. Everything would be okay. 

I opened the door to Lily's car and Remus spilled out. I caught him before he could fall out of the seat, for I had forgotten in my panic that he was resting against the cool window. 

Remus's eyes were glazed and somewhere far away, but I managed to get him over to my motorbike. I got on and had Remus sit in front of me. Normally, I wouldn't have done this, but I feared that if he sat behind me, he'd slip right off and into traffic. 

I was expecting to have Remus straddle the seat, but instead he all but laid down on it, curling into my chest, his eyes slipping shut, so if I were carrying him, it would look like bridal style. 

My hands shaking, I slipped the extra jumper over is head and forced his limps arms through the holes. I let Remus sit the way he was and revved the engine, praying to all the gods that it would start. It did, and I rolled out of the parking lot and into traffic. 

At first it was a bit lopsided and off balanced, driving with Remus like I was, but I adjusted as well as I could. My heart was thudding against my ribs so hard I feared that Remus could hear it, despite being unconscious. 

It was a grueling fifteen minute drive. As soon as I got to the emergency room parking lot, I slowed down and eased to a stop. I turned off the bike, pocketed the keys, and put out the kickstand, easing off the bike with Remus cradled in my arms. He was trembling.

I bumped the automatic door opener with my hip and carried Remus inside. 

Nurses were there to greet me, just as they had last time we rushed Remus here. 

I laid Remus down on a gurney and he woke himself up coughing, eyes flitting around in panic. I grabbed his hand, even as the nurses were wheeling him down the hall. 

"Gonna be alright," I told him.

I talked to the nurses and doctors, but I was sure I was making no sense. They apparently got the gist of it though, and one of the doctors went to contact Remus's normal doctor in Oxford for more information.

When he came back, he looked tense and nervous. "We're going to transport him to Oxford. Let's get him in the ambulance."

I followed along numbly as all of this happened. The nurses loaded Remus up into the ambulance and I hopped in as well, taking a seat along the wall of the vehicle on benches that were cushioned but still uncomfortable. I grabbed Remus's hand again and squeezed it as the nurses placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth and stuck an IV in his arm.

I was shaking almost as badly as Remus was. 

The first thing I did when I had the chance was call Lily. My fingers shook as I dialed her number and let it ring. 

My heart seized in fear and I thought that I wouldn't be able to get ahold of her. What would I do then?

But then she picked up the phone. She was laughing at something. 

"James, quiet. Hey Sirius, what's up?"

I tried to speak, but I was interrupted by Lily's giggles. "Stop it, you, I'm on the phone."

She turned her attention back to me. "Sorry, Sirius, say that again?"

My voice wilted in a pathetic way. "Lily..." I whimpered. 

Immediately, all sense of lightheartedness and laughter were gone from her voice.

"What is it? What happened? Is Remus okay? Are you?"

A lump formed in my throat and the tears started to fall. 

"Lily, we're...it's...we're in an ambulance...going to Oxford," I was gasping and wheezing so much that Lily couldn't quite catch what it was that was the matter. 

"Both of you, shut it," she said to James and Peter, tone wobbly and serious. "Sirius, honey, calm down and tell me what happened."

"He was sick, Lily. Worse than usual. And then he...and he fell and...and your car wouldn't start, we drained the battery, I'm sorry. On my motorbike, I had to drive to the...to the hospital. And now we're in an ambulance because the, uh, the doctor said that...that uh, he needs to go to Oxford."

Lily was quiet. I felt cold and hot at the same time, my hands clammy. I squeezed Remus's hand, though which one of us I was comforting, I didn't know. 

"We're on our way. We're going now. I'm...it'll take...we'll be there in two hours. Maybe two and a half. Pack everything up, we need to leave now!" She said that last bit to the two boys. 

"Sirius, just breathe, honey. Be strong. I'll...I'll call my mum. Mum and Dad will meet you there. It'll...he'll be alright, you'll see," Lily's voice was strong, even though I knew she was trying hard keep it together. 

I found myself nodding, but then remembered she couldn't see me. "Okay. Okay, yeah I can do that. I'll see you soon."

The rest of the hour long drive was spent mostly in silence as both Remus and I struggled to breathe.