Sirius

It's been a month since school let out. Since then, I started to write myself a bucket list. Seeing as I almost lost the love of my life, I wanted to make sure that I did certain things before...

I wasn't exactly sure. Before I die? Before Remus dies? Because whether I like it or not, no one lives forever. I learned that this year. A person can lose everything in the blink of an eye.

My bucket list looks like this:

*Kiss Remus a lot

*Marry Remus

*Travel the world with Remus

*Make love to Remus a whole bunch

*Initiate project Lily Potter

*Get Remus to willingly ride my motorbike and hopefully even enjoy it

*Conquer my fear of heights with Remus

*Enjoy the little things in life

*Tell Remus I love him everyday

*Cherish every moment I have with Remus

*Make the most of this life and make sure that no one that is special to me ever doubts that they are loved

I smiled at my list. It was everything I wanted to accomplish before I die. And for the most part, it's attainable.

I looked over my shoulder, out the open door. Remus wasn't in sight, so I slipped the list into the drawer of my desk and dug around for the box. I pulled it out and opened it, looking at the ring inside and smiled.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow has to be the day. I've planned to take Remus on a date to the London Eye, where there's a whole festival set up to celebrate something that was probably important, but all I cared about was going there with Remus and proposing.

"Siri?" Remus called from the living room of my apartment. I dropped the ring back into the drawer and closed it, leaving my room and walking back into the living room where Remus was sitting, reading a book.

"Yeah?"

Remus looked up from his book, beckoning me to sit next to him. "What were you up to?" He asked sleepily.

"Just thinking," I told him.

*******

Remus

When Sirius asked me on a date, I was excited of course, but I was more relieved than anything. It was a sign that things were back to normal. Maybe even better than normal. Because as I'm getting ready for my date, wearing the same old sweater, jeans, red converse combination, I'm not grabbing for my oxygen bag. I'm not hauling my oxygen cart behind me. I don't have in my nasal cannula. It's just me.

I feel free. Free of the sickness that has plagued me for as long as I can remember. And I know it's not gone, it will never be gone. But at least I'm free of it for a little while. And I'll take all the time I can get.

There was a knock on my door and before I could turn to get it, Sirius stuck his head in through the crack.

"You ready to go?" He asked me.

I nodded, taking his hand.

He led me out to the parking lot where James and Lily were already in James's van. Lily had her camera dangling around her neck and both of them seemed jittery and excited. I was less so.

"Oh. You guys are coming along."

Lily laughed, "Don't sound so excited. We're just your ride, you won't see us again for a few hours."

Sirius slid into the seat next to me, grabbing my hand again. He twisted the ring on my middle finger between his fingers. He looked oddly nostalgic.

When we got to the festival at the London Eye, the sun had already set. I had to admit that the lights were breathtaking.

James and Lily bid us farewell, disappearing into the crowd.

Sirius turned to me with a mischievous grin on his face. "Are you afraid of heights?"

"Um, no...why?" I asked.

"No reason," Sirius said, grabbing my hand and pulling me along through the crowds until I found myself standing in a line at the base of the London Eye.

"Ooooookay," I breathed out, the brisk air in my lungs feeling wonderful, giving me a sense of adventure. I squeezed Sirius's hand and nudged him with my shoulder.

He used my hand to pull me closer to him, pecking me on the lips.

"You're beautiful," he said quietly, just for me.

I blushed, reaching up to run my fingers over the fading but still very much there scar cutting my face almost in half. I thought about all the other scars too, from countless surgeries. Beautiful isn't the word I would use.

Sirius grabbed my other hand away from my face. "Stop it, you are. I love everything about you. You're perfect to me just the way you are."

I blushed, accepting the complement instead of denying it like I usually would've done. "You're pretty handsome yourself," I told him.

He grinned at me.

Soon enough we were sitting in the Ferris Wheel seats, buckled in and ready to go. We started to lift off the ground and I rocked the cart back and forth a bit.

Sirius shrieked and grabbed my hand tightly. "Don't do that," he panted.

I raised my eyebrow with a smirk. "Are you, sir, the one afraid of heights?"

Sirius blushed and looked over the side of the cart. "Oh god," he said, sitting back a little too fast, making the cart shake again. My fingers were turning purple. "Maybe a little," he said.

"Are you okay?" I asked him slowly, squeezing back.

He nodded and changed his mind, shaking his head no instead. He brought his other hand up to his mouth in a fist.

"I might throw up," he informed me.

"Please don't," I kindly requested.

"I'll try not to aim for you."

"Funny."

Sirius wouldn't open his eyes the entire way to the top and would groan at every movement of the cart.

"So what made you want to get on this thing in the first place? I couldn't tell you were nervous when we were waiting in line."

Sirius shrugged, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. He couldn't be bothered to use his hands as the right one was in mine and the left on the rail.

"I was trying not to think about it. It's one of my goals. To conquer my fear of heights. Preferably with you by my side."

"Aw that's sweet, but you're gonna make yourself sick. I'm sorry, but I'm not kissing you if you have vomit breath."

"Ew," Sirius said, scrunching up his already closed eyes.

"Ew, indeed," I said.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. The view was gorgeous. I could see all of London, it seemed. Looking at all the small, pretty lights on the ground was beautiful but it didn't quite compare to the stars that were shining from above.

I nudged Sirius when we got to the top. We'd have about a minute to sit there and I wanted Sirius to see the view.

Sirius tentatively opened one eye and then closed it again. "It's alright, you're fine. If you want to conquer your fear you've gotta open your eyes. Take in the view."

"I trust you," Sirius said, squeezing my hand even tighter. I definitely felt a few knuckles crack.

Sirius opened his eyes and looked straight up into the sky. He took deep breaths and looked down at the city. His hands shot out to steady himself until he relaxed.

"Wow. This is quite amazing, isn't it?" He finally said as the cart started to move again and we headed slowly toward the bottom.

I leaned my head on Sirius's shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me, although it was shaking slightly. Sirius was sitting very stiffly.

"I'm proud of you," I told him.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

*******

After the Ferris Wheel, Sirius took me to get Candy Floss and we walked around some more. I caught sight of Lily and James at the mini doughnut stand. Lily was spinning around and taking pictures of the London Eye and the people milling about and the lights.

I noticed that Sirius was once again jittery. His hand was sweating and he kept wiping the other on his jeans. He was awfully nervous about something.

I noticed he was leading me away from the main crowds, away from the festival. He took out his phone and typed a quick message before putting it back in his pocket.

At the edge of the festival, where Sirius was taking me, was peaceful and quiet. It was well lit with fairy lights and the sounds of the festival were faded and far away.

Sirius stopped walking and took my hands, turning to face me instead. Whatever Sirius was nervous about, I was nervous too.

Sirius's eyes were wide and his breath coming out in short bursts. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them and looking me deep in the eyes with a smile.

"Remus, I love you so much, you know that."

I nodded, feeling flushed.

"It's just...in March, I thought I'd lost you. I was so scared. I love you more than anything, and I don't ever want to be apart from you. I want to travel with you and conquer all my fears with you. I want to tell you I love you in the morning when I wake up and at night before I go to bed. Remus, you mean the world to me."

I couldn't speak for the lump in my throat. Sirius was still smiling that sweet smile, the rarest one he has. My eyes were watering.

Sirius got down on one knee. "Remus John Lupin, will you marry me?"

"Yes," I said, emotion pouring out of me. "Yes, yes, yes. I love you," I said, pulling Sirius up to kiss him as he slipped the ring on my finger.

"I love you," he said.

*******

Wow that was sweet and all, but super cringe. Maybe not, I s'pose that's up to you, but I thought it was cheesy. Well I guess enjoy! Thanks for reading, it's not over yet, so hang in there!