Just a warning there are mentions of a panic attack in this chapter. If you find that triggering please skip it it's marked with a *

If you do find any mistakes please feel free to point out!

"May I have this dance?"

I'd always wondered what I'd forgotten in those three months that had not only changed me into a person that I wasn't familiar with but had also made me into someone who would do anything, anything at all just to remember.

Seeing Will in his silver and white mask, standing in front of me with his hand outstretched I realise that I've finally found the first piece of this puzzle.

Perhaps, the only piece that really matters.

Because I remember that night with absolute clarity now, it's no longer just a hazy dream I had. I'd run out of that party thinking, no, convinced that it had been Daniel Kensington who had been behind that mask.

And yet it's Will who is standing in front of me two years later wearing that same mask looking like it's made only for him.

His eyes look darker in contrast to the white and silver of his mask and my gaze falls on to his lips the only part of his face that's not covered.

That kiss...

How could I have forgotten it? I'd never been kissed like that.

Kissed in the way I've read about in books, the kind that you can feel all the way up to your toes, the kind that takes your breath away and leaves you unsteady on your feet.

The kind I've been desperately searching for all this while.

Be careful not to fall in love with me Juliet.

Am I?

Am I in love with Will Kensington?

That's ridiculous right? I don't even know him, there is no way I'm in love with him.

But...

Two years ago I might have been and I'm sure that there is much more to the story than just that kiss.

Red swishes at the corner of my eyes and Isabella comes to focus. She'd been there when he'd kissed me and if it had really been him behind that mask I'm sure she had been why he'd kissed me.

It just goes to show that Wills motives back then were just as unclear back then as it is now.

Isabella right now just looks at Will incredulously as if she can't quite believe what he's doing and her expression is mirrored by almost everybody else in the room. Even my father has raised an eyebrow and Parker looks absolutely livid.

Will is the only one in the room who seems perfectly relaxed completely unaffected by the clear tension in the room. His dark blue eyes hold mine steadily, not faltering at all.

What game are you playing?

He tilts his head towards his hand slightly as if to say, Why don't you find out?

My lip quirks up a little. He's put me in the worst position possible. While it's just an invitation to dance it breaks an unspoken rule that has clearly been established by both the Kensington and Windsors.

Will clearly doesn't care much for rules though, for him it's more like a challenge, almost like a game to be won the consequences of the methods used be damned.

The safest thing right now for me would be to just politely decline, shift the focus to Isabella because that's really what Juliana Windsor should do and that's exactly what I would have done two years back in the same position.

But now I'm different. I don't back down from challenges and I'm certainly not going to willingly back down from this.

Fuck what I should do, I'm going to do what I want to.

So I put my hand in his, rivalry be damned.

"Alright." I respond and Will's hand wraps around mine. I don't have the opportunity to see the reactions of the people around us my vision tunneling to Will and only Will.

It's like every rational thought has just flown out of my mind leaving just an error message. Error 404: Brain Not Found.

His thumb brushes my hand as he leads me forward towards the center of the room, people parting to make way for us.

"What are you doing?" I ask as softly as I can under my breath as we turn to face each other, the music playing is barely heard above the suffocating silence of the room.

I'm vaguely aware of how people are watching us, their stares settling heavily on me but it's the last thing in my mind as I look at Will, his dark blue eyes making everything pale in comparison.

"I'm keeping a promise." He says quietly so only I can hear him.

A promise?

He moves forward reaching out to put his arm around my waist, his other hand leaving mine to intertwine-

But before any of those things can happen someone's fingers wrap tightly around my wrist pushing me back.

I look up to see Tyler standing there glaring at Will not very subtly. He proceeds to roughly pull me away and places himself in between the two of us, his stance screaming protective and possessive all at once.

What the-

"She can't dance with you." Tyler says gruffly.

The music has stopped playing and along with that my little bubble with Will bursts. I'm made acutely aware of how everybody's gaze is drilling a hole into the three of us.

"And why is that?" I can't discern his expression behind the mask but Will hardly sounds surprised as he replies to Tyler, just amused.

"It's just that it's always been a tradition in my family for my sister and I to have the first dance." Tyler says curtly.

Tradition? What tradition?

"Tradition?" Will asks lightly,"I didn't know Juliana had attended one of these before."

I hadn't and everyone knew that. Tyler's flimsy excuse was stupid to begin with. I hope he's got a better one in his pocket because honestly he just looks petty now.

"I don't think that's any of your business." Tyler growls, diplomacy thrown straight out of the window, he's not exactly sober after all.

"Then how is it any of yours?" Will asks, sounding genuinely puzzled, "I'm pretty sure my question was directed towards Juliana and not you."

"I am her brother." Tyler growls,"It's our family tradition to dance together. So like I said she's not dancing with you and that's final because I said so."

"Aaah because of course, your word is law for her." Will says sounding thoughtful and that's exactly when Tyler realises he's fucked up.

"That's not what I-"

But Will just continues his tone growing sharper with each word, "Tell me Tyler I'm curious, in a few books that I've read which can be dated back to the sixteen, seventeen hundreds, there were quite a few cases in which a man had to win a duel against the lady's brother in order to dance with her. Is that part of your family tradition too? I agree the sources are pretty dated not to mention sickeningly patriarchal in nature but tradition is what it is."

I don't even have the time to admire Will's way with words because the atmosphere has become even more stifling than it was before, almost suffocating and Tyler's grip on my wrist is bordering on painful. In any other situation I may have laughed at how Will has reduced Tyler into a bumbling baby in front of all my father's most important associates over a fucking dance but the entire air around me is painfully charged.

Tyler's other hand curls into a fist and it's clear that there is very little stopping him from punching Will in the face. If it really does end up escalating to a physical fight then....

The war between the Windsors and Kensingtons is no joke.

My gaze flickers towards my father and everything in me goes cold. Although he looks more or less expressionless and is doing nothing to stop the showdown that's inevitably going to take place, there is something utterly chilling in the way he calmly looks at the entire scene between Will and Tyler.

And suddenly I'm afraid. I'm terrified to a point that all I can think about is that Tyler needs to stop. He needs to stop now. Or else.... It's a panic that I can't quite place, anxiety and fear curling up inside me and wounding me up so tightly that I'm shaking. I tilt my head to look up at Will past Tyler's shoulders trying to ground myself.

Will's eyes meet mine behind his mask and something flickers in his eyes, the sharp edge to it softening slightly. I manage to shake my head almost imperceptibly and Will's eyes stay on mine for a second longer before flickering back to Tyler.

"I do apologise though." Will says the challenging edge of his tone fading entirely,"My fencing skills are rather rusty so if you do challenge me to a duel Tyler, I'll regretfully have no choice but to surrender today."

It's like the room collectively exhales, Will has clearly backed off from the challenge. Tyler is still stiff but there is confusion lining his shoulders at Will's clear surrender.

I look back at my father who meets my gaze levelly and my breath catches in my throat. His eyes flicker towards Will and something akin to amusement flashes in them before it disappears entirely.

"Perhaps another time then." My father says his tone light, almost nonchalant as he finally cuts in,"Your date seems entirely distressed over missing her flight."

Isabella nods fervently stepping forward,"Will we really must go now."

"Hmm." Will murmurs,"That's a pity, maybe next time. After all Juliana is here to stay."

Yes, I suppose I was but what difference would that make?

Because it's not like things would change now would it? No matter how much I tell myself differently there's not much I can do. In fact I should have just said no in the first place instead of letting it escalate to this point.

Rebecca Reynolds would have been able to dance with whom she liked without worrying about the consequences but I can't.

"Perhaps." I say quietly unable to look him in the eye, a horrible mix of anxiety and hopelessness swirling inside me because I feel utterly powerless. My previous bravado has fizzled down drastically considering I can't even pick the side I want to be in this entire war, my place has already been decided with absolute finality.

As Juliana Windsor.

"Well then I'll be happy to inform my parents that you accepted our invitation regarding the dinner." Will says his polite and courteous tone returning as he talks to my father.

"Of course." My father responds, "I'm looking forward to it."

Will glances at Tyler and I know that this is where Will would end with a final taunt after all I'm more than familiar with his dramatic ending remarks and yet all he does is walk forward towards Isabella ignoring Tyler entirely.

I suddenly feel even worse and it takes everything in me to not scream. I can't be sure as to why Will backed down so quickly but the very thought that there is a small chance that he was pulling his punches for my sake makes me want to throw up.

He offers his hand to Isabella who gracefully takes it and with a start I realise how good they look together. Isabella is the perfect height for Will and with her black hair and caramel skin she paints a perfect contrast against his pale golden features. Isabella looks like she is the princess to Will's fairy tale good looks. She looks like she belongs next to him.

Isabella's place in this war of politics and family feuds is next to Will .

It's why she can stand next to him and hold his hand.

Mine is starkly on the opposite side.

And it's why all I can do is stand frozen on my spot and watch Will leave with her.
___________

The rest of the party is unsurprisingly nowhere nearly as eventful as Will's appearance.

You've got to give it how effortlessly Will managed to turn what was one of the most important events if not the most important event for the Windsor family into something of a shit show between him and Tyler where he came out as the winner. In fact even the way he backed down had made sure that he still had the upper hand all the while looking like the more magnanimous and mature one.

Tyler predictably goes missing (so much for our tradition of having the first dance) storming away and thankfully Parker also disappears and is nowhere to be seen. My step mother Amelia, who had taken a back step during the confrontation has plastered a smile that could be qualified as utterly fake at best, while my father carries on as if the entire incident had never even happened. Most of his associates follow suit it's clear that Will's unannounced entry and his clash with Tyler had made its effect, the buzz of gossipy whispers lingering in the air.

I'd been more or less forgotten in the narrative, my role deemed unimportant in the midst of the battle of the two heirs. On some level I should be angry at how entirely patriarchal this bullshit was but the entire exchange had shaken something deep in me, my insides still reeling from how badly anxiety and sheer dread had curled up into my heart.

It had been Will two years ago at Daniel's birthday party and my feelings for him ran deeper than I had originally assumed. There was a very real possibility I had been in love with him back then and it's scary to think that maybe I didn't stop.

But what's hit me harder is the fact that love or my feelings might really not matter in this case. All the warnings I'd been given before I had never taken it seriously. Jason's remark about how deep this rivalry ran has finally struck home. Before it had been abstract concept something that existed in movies and books but now it was tangible, sealed by the flash of emotion in my fathers eyes for that brief second he looked on to see the escalating tension between Will and Tyler.

I can barely concentrate as I interact with the few people who approach me all of them managing to mention how bold and shameless the Kensington boy really was. It's clear that they want my opinion on him, to add to their gossip and I give them exactly that by saying he's arrogant and shameless. I play my part almost robotically somehow managing to smile and talk to them as if I am riveted by each word.

To take a break I plant myself in one of the more secluded parts of the hall and I really don't know much longer I can tolerate the entire thing until my dad finally aproaches me, his diplomatic smile still on his face. In the aftermath he looks entirely unfazed by the whole event but I still can't help but feel uneasy. I'd never seen that side of my father before and coming face to face with it had been jarring.

"Considering all the drama that has gone down to ask you to dance I think I am going to refrain myself from asking you for one." My dad jokes and I feel myself relax slightly letting out a small laugh. Whatever had happened before had clearly passed.

"This place is quite a circus isn't it?" He says handing me a glass of orange juice and I look at him incredulously.

"Your a minor sweetheart I'm not going to give my kid alcohol no matter how much the night calls for it."

I actually laugh and sip on it. Parker's earlier transgression has me actually hesitating for the second sip but I realise how stupid I'm being because this is my father and it is just plain orange juice.

"Regarding Havard." My father starts,"I'm sorry for it being sprung on you so suddenly. It's not the way I wanted you to find out but something's couldn't be helped."

"I want to go to Georgetown." I say stubbornly,"It's why I moved here."

"I'm well aware." He says,"But it's an option you can consider to get away from the politics present here."

My argument actually dies in my throat because to be perfectly honest I'm not too sure that I want to be stuck here in this house for the next four years.

"Let's talk about that later at length. What I came to talk to you talk to you about was how well you handled the situation today." He says and I look up at him wide eyed in surprise,"I had half expected you to flat out refuse him considering what I had heard about your rivalry."

Fuck. Clearly past Juliana had been better at hiding her feelings.

"But you took the higher road which is what someone in your position should be expected to do." He pauses,"I just wish I could say the same about your brother."

He seems disappointed which is not exactly surprising considering Tyler hasn't painted himself in the best light by reacting to Will's remarks. I search my father's face to understand what had gotten me so afraid previously but I draw up blank. Out of all of us my father seems to be the least effected. Maybe I'd misread everything after all I hadn't been able to think properly then.

"Tyler doesn't like him and I can't blame him. Will is condescending and his way he twists his words is enough to get under anybodies skin." I state.

"Is that all you thought about Will?" My father asks lightly holding my gaze in a way that I can't quite look away.

This is my test, I realise.

"He's smart, I'll give him that." I say trying my best to structure my thoughts in a way that I won't give away much,"You said he has a sharp tongue before and I agree, but it's not just that. He uses his words and his actions with purpose, everything is carefully thought out towards some end goal."

"And Tyler will never quite measure up to that will he?" My father muses.

"Tyler is incredibly possessive." I say,"I suppose you can call it a side effect of his stubborness or perhaps even some misplaced sense of loyalty and Will simply exploited that. Asking me to dance with him obviously hit a nerve with Tyler after all in Tyler's perspective it's his house, his family's party and his sister, Will showing up out of the blue to mess with it doesn't sit will right with him."

"And you knew all of that and still accepted the dance?"

Because I fucking wanted to. I wanted to so, so badly.

"Now that was a challenge for me." I say simply the words falling out of mouth easily. It's not exactly a lie but it's nowhere near the truth either,"Refusing would have made me and by extension our family seem petty. The fact that our arrogance can't take a step down to put aside a political rivalry for a dance doesn't paint us in the best light. In fact if anything it just makes him look like the one who is above it." You'd warned me to-"

The words sound like paper in my mouth,"-stay away from him but there's a difference between that and backing down with my tail between my legs. I'm not afraid of Will Kensington, weary yes but not enough to backdown from a challenge he has clearly presented me. I am a Windsor after all."

My surname tastes like ash and saying it out loud to my father is like the final nail in the coffin, the absolute realisation where I have to stand.

"But your brother ruined that with his reaction."

"I didn't think Tyler would react that negatively but clearly I had underestimated his hatred for Will." I say,"Even if I hadn't accepted Will's offer to dance I'm sure Will would have found a way to gaslight Tyler in one way or another, after all that was what Will had been aiming for, I was just a means to an end."

I'm keeping a promise.

At least that's what he had said to me and yet...

"Your brother doesn't measure up to Will." He says,"And he doesn't quite measure up to you to either. If he had half the tact or presence of mind as you did things would be very different."

I don't say anything. I knew Tyler had fucked up today and me inadvartently pointing out his flaws hadn't helped. I had tried my best to use euphimisms where I could to cover up Tyler's impulsive childish behaviour (if his ego had just shut up and let me have that dance. It was just one dance after all.)

My father puts his hand on my head with something of a proud smile on his face.

"You did well sweetheart, you handled the situation in the best way you could." I deflate a little, the worry and anxiety slowly bleeding out of me at his compliment.

"I think it's best if you get something to eat and retire for the night." My father says,"It's been a long day and the event is winding down any way."

I let out a long sigh, thank god.I couldn't take this for any longer.

"Thank you." I say,"I'll see you tomorrow."

My father nods and with one last pat on my shoulder he heads towards Amelia. I on the other hand head up the stairs away from the crowd ready to just burrow into my bed till noon the next day.

I don't really have the appetite to eat and frankly I just want to go to sleep after a good long bath and just tune out my head.

But that's easier said than done. As I climb up my mind keeps going back to Will, the mask he wore, the way his hand felt in mine, a promise-

And then I'm suddenly angry.

I had the situation handled. It would have been fine if Tyler hadn't butted in. Even my father had agreed. I hadn't been the one who had fucked up saying yes to the dance it was Tyler who had by butting in.

She's my sister? Ha! What a goddamn joke.

Before I can stop myself I find myself pounding on Tyler's door.

"Oh look who it is, Princess Fucking Perfect." He mutters under his breath when he opens it.

"You made such a scene in front of everybody by letting Will Kensington get under your skin.... And for what? A dance?" I scoff,"And that's after you yourself drilled it into my head how important this party is for our image or whatever so I thought you were smarter than-"

"I was protecting you." He mutters and I stop abruptly.

"Protecting me? From what?" I say incredulously, "I wasn't the one who was about to punch Will and probably get punched by him in a room full of people."

"No instead you were going to fall into the perfect honey trap that the bastard had laid down for you." Tyler murmurs.

I shake my head,"No you were the one who fell into the trap."

"You have no idea."

"No Tyler you have no idea." I say,"Anyone with eyes could see what he was trying to do. When dad didn't do anything to stop it why did you?"

"You should have said no and you know it."

"He asked me to dance Tyler." I say,"A stupid dance, he wasn't going to kill me. For godssake stop acting like he's some sort of monster beca-"

"That's exactly what he is, a monster." He spits out and I fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"No Tyler." I say gritting my teeth,"He's just smart. He was trying to provoke you and you were letting him."

"What the fuck was I supposed to do?"

"Not act like a child for starters." I say,"Been smarter than to just outright confront him with a pathetic excuse. Especially when you can't even hold your against him. So don- "

Don't behave in the way that makes our father look at you like that because it frightens me.

"I'm sorry that lying and manipulating hardly comes as easy to me as it does to you." He spits out.

I flinch,"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You have no idea what he's capable of. Just because you can speak pretty words doesn't mean you understand him." Tyler snaps, "You're just as naive as you were back then-"

"You keep telling me that I know nothing and yet you refuse to tell me anything when I ask." I say, "Not about Rose, not about Will. I've had it Tyler, I've had it with all this cryptic bullshit. I don't need your protection, I don't need anything from you unless you can fucking explain! So spare me all-"

"What would you do if I stand in front of you pointing a gun straight at you?"

"What?"

"A normal person would be scared. They would care that they could die any second." He ignores my question and continues.

I'm confused by the sudden change of topic,"What are you-"

"Do you know what a monster would do?"

I sigh letting him continue whatever the hell he was doing,"What?"

"He would stare at the person holding the gun and dare them to pull the trigger."

I still, realising what he was getting at.

"Rose told you about it didn't she?" Tyler says, "The time the school bus got hijacked."

I nod slowly.

"I was on that bus." Tyler says,"He was there as well. And I remember how unbothered he seemed. Our guards were shot dead, we were about to die and Will didn't even flinch when the gun was pointed right at him."

"He didn't care that he would die, he didn't care that we all could die." Tyler seethes,"It was like he was a monster who couldn't even feel enough to be afraid."

"He ended up saving all of you didn't he?" I reply sharply,"I don't know what world you live in but the real monsters are the ones trying to kill you, not the person who saved you."

"Saved us?" Tyler lets out a short laugh,"He didn't save us, he gambled. He played with all our lives because it was nothing more than a game for him."

"In fact he sees everything as a game." Tyler continues,"And the rest of us are just pieces that can be discarded if that's what it takes for him to win."

My nails dig into my palm,"Get to the fucking point."

"But you... You're different for him." He says,"You've been different from the start because unlike everybody else you get under his skin."

Jason's warning had been eerily similar.

"So what?" I say,"Jealous that I can handle standing up against Will Kensington when he manages to drag you through the mud?"

"This is not a game, Juliana!" Tyler shouts,"You don't understand what he's capable of."

"Maybe I don't but that's only because you refuse to tell me. All I've gotten is some vague stories and warnings from you Tyler and that's not enough." I say firmly, "Tell me why you have this personal vendetta against Will. Tell me why you don't want Rose to know about Parker. Give me actual reasons Tyler."

Tyler's frustration is clear from the noise that comes from the back of his throat, it's a whine almost, but I'm not backing down.

"Use your words Tyler." I say sharply,"Convince me, prove that you're a politician's son. Give me one good reason why I should be scared. I'm not afraid of Will Kensington so give me one reason I should be."

Tyler doesn't respond immediately choosing to remain silent and I can't help but scoff.

"See you ca-"

"What is it about him?" Tyler asks his voice so quiet as if he's murmuring to himself,"That you can't seem to see what everyone else can. Everyone stays away from him, everyone sees him for what he is and yet you're blind to it. You enjoy provoking him, you enjoy playing his wicked games not understanding that you're the one who is ultimately being played."

"I'm not afraid of Will Kensington."

"You should be." Tyler says,"Because the rest of us are. Will doesn't play by the same rules the rest of us do. The best we can do is avoid him and stay the fuck away from him."

"Then why did you go and openly challenge him like that?"

"Because he doesn't have this sick twisted fascination with me like he does with you!"

My jaw tightens,"Hear this loud and clear Tyler I don't need you to fight battles for me especially ones that you have cooked up in your head. I can handle Will Kensington."

Tyler chuckles darkly,"If you could really then you wouldn't be standing in front of me asking for answers to things you once knew."

I freeze,"What do you-"

"I mean it Juliana stay the fuck away from him." He says,"Whatever you got caught up in with him last time made you only lose your memory."

"Are you implying that he had something to do with my accident?" I say,"That's fucking ridiculous. I mean-"

Tyler grabs me by my shoulders painfully,"Why the fuck are you taking his side?" He shakes me by my shoulders, his fingers digging into my arms.

*
Suddenly my throat constricts and I can't seem to get enough air,"Tyler let me-"

But Tyler doesn't stop,"Even this time around you can't seem to understand! What is it about him? Why can't you stay away. It doesn't work no matter how much I warn you!"

I can barely hear Tyler now my ears starting to ring and my breath coming in more shallow everytime.

The room is getting darker and it's cold, it's so so cold and small. The walls are closing in and the door, I can't reach the door.

He's going to kill me. He's going to kill me. He's going to-

His hands are getting closer to my neck he's going to-

"GET OFF ME!" I scream shoving Tyler as hard as I can. His grip loosens and he stumbles back, stunned.

I stand there shaking vaguely registering the light of the hallway I'm standing in. It's not that room but it's still-

"Jules shit I'm-" He starts foward but I shrink away my back hitting the wall behind me.

I can't quite catch my breath anymore and my vision is starting to darken around the edges. I need to get out of here, I need to get out of-

My knees give out from underneath me and I crumple to the floor.

He's the monster. He's the monster.
It's your fault.

No. No. No.

The panic rips at my chest as if it's something alive is trying to crawl out. There is no air and I can't breathe and I can't get away and I-

Please be okay, please, please, please.

My lungs burn and I can hear yelling in the background but I can't think and it hurts, oh God everything hurts.

Stop, stop, please, please stop.

And thankfully it does.

*
_____________________

Yes! It's finally making sense!

It's not exactly a lead but it's a start. I pump my fists in the air absolutely overjoyed, I mean why shouldn't I be?

I let myself do a little victory dance, things were finally starting to fall in place. They were finally going my way.

"Is that supposed to be some form of dance that the world has not discovered yet?"

Will's voice freezes me into place and I stop turning red. I didn't think he'd be back so soon and I'm grateful that I'm facing away from him because I've always had a habit of embarrassing myself in front of him.

It's okay, just scrap up whatever bits of dignity you have left.

I clear my throat, "It's abstract jazz."

He chuckles softly.

"And is this abstract jazz of yours a partner dance?"

"Depends on who is asking."

"I am."

I finally turn around to see Will leaning against the door frame his arms crossed, his lips curved into an amused smile. His hair is still damp from the rain, the strands of his hair looking like shafts of molten gold in the light. He looks calmer now, more settled as if the previous day's events had never happened.

Something in me settles.

His eyes are fixed on me, filled with a sort of intensity that makes it hard to breathe. I look away almost instantly because there is something about his gaze that makes my heart pound and my palms sweaty.

Lately I've realised that Will makes my heart pound in a way that I'm not used to, in a way that's almost terrifying to think about.

It's nothing, it's nothing.

My eyes flicker inevitably to his hands which still hold the scars of what happened yesterday and the voice in my head becomes louder.

It's nothing.

"Butterscotch." His voice is quiet, "Look at me."

I do.

Will is perfect in a way that hurts. It's not only the way he looks, sure his golden blonde hair, arresting blue eyes make him look he's just stepped out of a fairy tale but it's so much more than that.

Despite the fact that Will rarely chooses to acknowledge anyone, preferring to ignore everybody there is something about the way his presence fills the room, the way he commands attention without even trying.

It's the way stands, the way he smiles, the way he manages to surprise me by showing sides of himself that I wished I'd never seen. It's the way he looks at me, like he can see who I really am. In front of him I find myself becoming the kind of person I desperately wish to be, someone who isn't bound to her family by a surname she never asked for.

It's the way he says that stupid nickname that he's kept for me.

I'm supposed to stay away from him. And perhaps if it were anybody else I would be able to stop myself from falling further into the hole I was digging for myself but since it's Will, because it's Will ,I just can't.

At first it had been simple curiosity from my side. After all Will's story was similar to mine, he hadn't lived in DC for the majority of his life either and I thought that maybe Will would be like me, a fish out of water, second guessing every decision he made and praying not to be exposed as a fraud.

But now I know Will Kensington was everything I wasn't.

It's not like he could be like the rest of them either, in fact if there was a comparison drawn I'd say that I was a better fit in this world where everybody was obsessed with keeping their image by appearing outwardly perfect when in fact they were a total and complete mess.

But Will isn't like that. He isn't like anyone I've ever known.

He is unafraid, uncaring and unbothered by everything around him. His entire attitude was entirely opposite to mine, because I was someone who cared too much and I was terrified of the consequences of being anything less than the perfect daughter of the Windsor family even though I was nothing but an absolute and complete fraud.

Will on the other hand simply doesn't care about much at all and I suppose it's a good thing because considering how ruthless he is in his pursuit of the things he does want, the consequences of getting them be damned.

But it makes you wonder what could truly make him waver, make him falter in his indifference and actually make him care.

"Are you afraid that I'll hurt you?"

His blunt question takes me entirely by surprise and my eyes widen as I'm thrown shakily out of my head.I have no doubt that he is talking about what happened yesterday, especially considering that he caught me staring at the scrapes on his knuckles for a moment too long.

I meet his gaze and there is a shadow of something darker in his expression and I can't help but shiver at it. Will is almost always painfully blank and the few times there is a hint of a genuine emotion not just a pretense of one it throws me completely off balance.

"No." I say softly but the answer sounds meek and unconvincing.

Within seconds he's closed the distance in between us. The space between us is practically non-existent and I step back flustered, only to hit the wall which effectively traps me.

I stand there, my breath caught in my throat, my heart beating so loudly that I'm sure he can hear it too. His gaze drops to my lips and I shrink back further trying to pretend that I hadn't noticed the look in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" I manage to squeak out. I take in a sharp breath in biting down hard on my lip hoping to god that I can just disappear.

"Don't do that." His voice is barely a whisper, his eyes still on my lips.

I want him to kiss me.

"Will." My voice sounds pleading almost and his gaze snaps back towards my eyes.

He immediately backs away leaving me with my back against the wall barely breathing, wondering what just happened.

Oh my god.

What the fuck was that?

Shit.

Shit.

"You are afraid." He says softly and I blink at him.

Oh I'm fucking terrified.

"You're scared of me." He repeats his usual deadpan tone back.

I burst out,"Of course I am.You can't just walk up to someone and corner them against a wall like you're about to ki-"

Kiss them.

I look away hoping he didn't see my face which was a violent shade of red. I rather he thinks that I'm scared of him than the fact that I just had a mini freak out that he would kiss me.

"I'm not some sort of mercenary out to kill you Butterscotch." He says quietly,"But I'm sorry that I scared you."

"Apology accepted." I say quickly clearing my throat. I am too much of a coward to correct him about what I was actually going to . He takes a few more steps back to sit on the bed with his head down, running his hand through his hair. I stare curiously slightly unnerved because it's not often that I see Will looking anything less than perfect.

In fact I don't think I've seen him look so frazzled with the exception of the incident yesterday.

Was he still thinking about that?

I don't move from my spot but ask,"Are you alright?"

"Define alright." He says without looking up.

I pause for a second thrown off by his question.

"Oh." He says before I can answer,"About last night. I suppose I'm fine."

"I don't believe you." I say,"You didn't look fine."

He looks up,"Look fine?What exactly does looking fine mean?"

"Certainly not that."

He halts for a moment realising his hand was still running through his hair and pats it down before saying, "Well then I suppose I'm fine now."

And yet somehow I know he isn't.

"I don't think I believe you."

He raises an eyebrow,"That's not a surprise you almost never do."

"Can you blame me?" I huff,"All you do is lie."

"And you don't?" He counters and I keep quiet because he's absolutely right. We aren't even friends, just uneasy allies who don't really trust each other.

"How about we both tell the truth for once." Will says,"I'll start."

I eye the door considering making a run for it. I'm not sure how much truth I can handle with things that are pertaining to Will Kensington. If he asks me what the hell just happened a few moments ago I don't think I'll be able to give a proper answer.

"At the club, you said that you felt sorry for me." He says,"That.... surprised me."

He pauses before continuing,"People have hated me, they've been scared of me yes, but no one has ever said they felt sorry for me."

I don't immediately respond because I'm a little stunned by his admission. I'd thrown a few choice words his way and they definitely weren't the nicest but I didn't think that Will would care, much less actually choose to bring it up.

"I'm sorry." I say,"I didn't mean it-"

"You're lying again Butterscotch." Will says,"I know you meant what you said."

I keep quiet looking away.

"I felt troubled." Will says as if the words are foreign in his mouth,"It was strange. I couldn't get it out of my head. Juliana Windsor felt sorry for me."

"Why didn't you just say that you hated me?" Will asks,"After all you are supposed to hate a monster not feel sorry for it."

My eyes widen and before I can think the words just slip out, "You're not a monster!" I say vehemently," That time... I didn't mean it like that. I really didn't."

"But you've seen enough by now to know that maybe you were onto something that time." He says calmly unfazed by my outburst.

My gaze unconsciously drops to his grazed knuckles and for a moment I weigh his words.

"I know you don't particularly like me Butterscotch." He says faintly but there is something heavier in his words,"And you have every right to be afraid-"

"I'm not afraid of you." I say firmly.

"Why not?" He asks,"That's just stupid."

"You would never hurt me." I say weighing the words carefully in my mouth but it comes out with a lot more conviction than I expect.

"Just moments ago you were trembling because I got a little close to you."

I wish that was fear. Things would be so much less complicated if I was just afraid of Will. Then maybe I would actually be able to stay away.

"That's different." I manage to grit out,"But I mean it Will, I'm not afraid of you. You would never hurt me."

At least not in the way you think.

"You say that with so much certainty."

"It's because I truly believe it."

And I do. I really really do.

Will looks at me almost as if he's surprised,"You're not lying."

"I'm not." I confirm,"We did have a deal."

He smiles and it's that genuine honest to god smile of his, the one that reaches his eyes ever so slightly. It's like a sucker punch to the stomach and honestly I'm reaching my limit with Will Kensington and wide array of small smiles and laughs.

"I think I like it better when you are honest with me." He says.

"Th-then I'll try to be honest more often." I stammer, my heart picking up speed again.

"I doubt you will." He responds lightly,"If you can't stop lying to yourself I'm not naive enough to believe that I'll be the exception but none the less I will enjoy it while it lasts Butterscotch."

I want to protest or at least be offended but I can't. He's right, right about everything except the fact that he really might become the exception to every rule I've built for myself.

"What do you expect me to do Will?" I sound defeated.

"Dance with me."

I look back at him like he's grown two heads,"What?"

He shrugs,"I asked you if it was a partner dance for a reason."

"You're crazy."

"I'm curious."

I snort,"Of what? Abstract jazz?"

"Yes." He says plainly, "But more so about the brilliant mind that came up with."

"You're weird."

"You invented a dance form called abstract jazz to save yourself from embarrassment over what was clearly a victory dance." Will states standing up,"I hardly think you're one to talk."

"I hate it when you make valid points." I grumble.

"Then you must hate me a lot."

I don't think I can hate Will Kensington even if I tried so I simply shrug,"The jury is still out on that."

His smile is so faint that I almost miss it.

"Dance with me." He persists offering his hand.

"You can't be serious." I say and it almost comes out like a whine.

"A simple dance won't hurt you."

But it already hasn't it?

It was you, wasn't it? I want to ask, You were the one behind the mask that day weren't you?

But I can't because I'm so afraid that he'll say yes. Because if he does, if he's the one who kissed me that day then I don't think I would be able to lie to myself anymore and I can't- I absolutely can't admit the truth.

"I know it won't." I manage to scoff out,"Don't flatter yourself so much Goldilocks, you give yourself too much-"

Before I can finish my Will grabs my wrist and pulls me to my feet, making me crash against his chest rather unceremoniously.

"Hey!" I exclaim angrily looking up at him but then realise how close he is and my voice immediately gets smaller, a blush spreading across my face ,"That's not very nice."

He sighs,"If it's alright. May I have this dance?"

"In this tiny cramped up room?" I observe the small motel room we were hauled up in,"We can't dance here. It needs to be in style in a ballroom otherwise it's just not conducive for abstract jazz."

Will arches an eyebrow as if to ask, oh really?

"Well then I suppose I will very regretfully have to settle for ordinary dancing."

"But the room-"

"It's a promise then. I'll ask you in front of hundreds of people in the middle of a ballroom, like you want." He asks and there is something almost teasing about his tone,"I don't think people would approve though."

No they wouldn't.

"Tyler would probably kill you if you tried this in front of him." I state.

"I'm one hundred percent more afraid of you than your brother Butterscotch. Tyler will just end up making a fool of himself." Will says encircling my waist with his arm looking down at me with a small smirk, "You'll probably have to come to his rescue."

I laugh putting my hand on his shoulder,"Probably. I'm sure I'd be quite a dashing site in shining armour saving everybody who is in distress. I think that I would be pretty good at that, don't you?"

"Yes you would." Will says softly taking my hand in his gently intertwining them together,"You're good at saving people Butterscotch."

His hand is warm and they manage to engulf mine completely. They fit together perfectly somehow and I find myself thinking that maybe I don't want to let go. I look up at him, my eyes glancing over to his lips and I-

There's a frantic knock on the door. I jump away from him, our intertwined hands falling loosely in between us, my heart beating so loudly that it drowns out the sound of the knocking.

"I wonder though." His voice is faint, almost sad. He looks up from our intertwined hands and my breath catches because there is something so uncharacteristically vulnerable in his eyes,"If you would be able to save a monster too."

And then he lets go of my hand.

________________________________________

Wow it's been a while hasn't it? This chapter will forever be the one that will haunt me. The entire (almost) dance scene was such a mess to write that even though I came back to it several times I could never just go through with it. There are literally 7 different versions of that scene and I hate all of them. I did settle on this one with quite a bit of debate but I am still not completely satisfied.

It would just be so much easier if Will was in every single chapter of this book. Writing him is always fun.

This chapter was actually longer around 12K but since I wanted to give you an update as soon as I could considering being totally MIA. So I cut it.

Hopefully this means the next update will come soon. (It definitely won't take two years I assure you)

Also something to delve upon, when you dream or think about a memory it's usually because right before that you were thinking about something similar.

So why would Rebecca think about this particular memory after that in particular.

I love you guys! Thank you for your overwhelming support it's the reason I came back.

I hope you liked the chapter!! I'm sorry if it didn't live up to your expectations I'll try my best in the next one :)