I was sat on my horse looking at the gates. This was not going to be fun. We were going back into the Shinganshina district to transport materials from the Trost district to the broken gate of wall Maria. This was the main focus of the Survey corps now. Fixing that wall and reclaiming wall Maria. Even after a lot of discussion that was what the higher ups had decided. Humanity had to take that wall back otherwise they were too exposed to another attack. We should be back by nightfall but there were a lot of Titan's in the derelict town and there were going to be loses and many casualties. I kind of missed being out in the open. Riding Bonnie through the thick trees like we used to before the wall was destroyed. It was freeing, even though danger was around every corner it was different to be in a place so green and not surrounded by a thick grey wall.

"Hey Drew are you alright?" Petra asked me as she leaned over.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"You've been looking a little pale this morning and you seem distracted."

"I'm fine honestly." I reassured her with a small smile. Jake was somewhere behind me along with the other three guys that were on my squad. Captain Levi and Hanji were right in front of me like they were before and I couldn't just make out the top of Commander Erwin's blonde head. In the middle of the soldiers of the Survey corps was two large wagons. They were full of building material for the wall as well as food, water and medical supplies for the injuries that were sure to occur. I saw Garrison soldiers at the top of the gate begin to open it and the Commander motioned for us to move out. Bonnie and I moved along with the crowd and passed through the gates to be met with Titan infested lands. Groups of soldiers began to split off from the main group and go the ways in which they were told to go. The Levi squad were to take the front right. We had to make sure that while the materials were being dropped off no Titan came out of nowhere and ambushed the Commander and the others. Captain Mike's squad were to take the front left. There were three squads per side and four in the middle. There were to make sure that nothing came up from the middle and there were to help any squads which needed it. Captain Levi turned to the right and we followed him. As we turned the corner we were met with a 5 meter class Titan. Captain Levi was the first to act. He switched to his 3DM gear and shot into the air. He used the Titan's own neck to turn himself around and made a cut deep into it's skin, killing it with ease. The rest of us did the same and regrouped on top of a broken building, leaving our horses behind. The Captain stood still watching as the Titan's moved above. In the distance we could hear shouted and could see small far off figures whizzing around the large humanoid creatures.

"What do we do now Sir?" Asked Gunther seeing the Captain wasn't moving.

"We stay put."

"So we don't help any of them?" Said Jake in disbelief. The Captain gave him his cold glare.

"You're already on my shit list Jake don't push it."

"But I don't understand why we don't help." He said getting angry.

"Because they are our orders. We are to take out any Titan's that come at the Commander from this side. The other squads will deal with the others because that it their job."  

"If the Levi squad are so skilled then why are we standing around not doing anything when we could be helping the others and saving lives?"

"That's the way it is Jake." Said Petra. "We can't save everybody but if we stick to the plan that the Commander made then we will complete what we came here to do."

"What good is completing it if people died that we could have saved?"

"You said you did 9 years of serving this cause before right?" Said Eld.

"Yes I did."

"Then surely you know that we must follow orders. These are our orders as of now."

"In all these 9 years I have never just sat by and let people be slaughtered like this."

"Everyone of those soldiers joined the Survey corps because they were willing to lay down their lives for humanity and they are. This is what the Survey corps do you should know this."

"That doesn't make it right. Laying down your life for something and needlessly dying are two very different things. I had a squad. A squad which I fought beside for 7 years then one mission they were all wiped out, every single one of them except me. I was the only one left alive and I can't explain how guilty I felt about surviving. I want to help people I want to help bring as many people back to their families as I can."

"You can't protect everyone. We already have someone in this squad that does that and they nearly gets themselves killed every time." Said Gunther as I just looked at the floor. This conversation was hard. I agreed with everything Jake was saying but I also knew that as a soldier I had to follow orders.

"They should do. That is right, why are they any more important than those others soldiers?"

"You might change that comment if you knew it was Drew that laid down her life to save everyone else. You still think that she should just lay down her life for others now?" Said Oluo.

"Things gets complicated when you let feeling get in the way but were human we can't help it. That's why we get so angry and upset when she goes of like she does. We care for her, she is a valued member of this team and we don't want to lose her." Said Gunther. I smiled weakly at him.

"Drew do you really do that?" Jake asked. I sighed and turned to look at him.

"Yeah I do because I think just like you. I think that I can save everyone but I coming to realise that I can't. I still try I can't help myself. I really can't just let them die but even I am not so naive to believe that I can save everybody. The reality of the situation is that Titan's rule this world. Humans are herded in like cattle. Cattle that they can dip into when ever they want. I believe that one day can change but for now that is the world we love in. We humans are prey no matter how we look at it but if we follow orders, if we put our faith in the Commander then we can get through this."

"What makes you so sure that the Commander knows what he is doing anymore than we do?" Said Jake angrily.

"I don't, you can't ever be sure that the plan you made is right, but we have to put our faith in someone or we will fall apart and hope will be lost completely..."