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Xander felt his heart clench. All he could think about was the cafeteria.

The blood. The bullets. Vanessa.

His best friend's funeral had been the day before, and Xander was still reeling in pain.

It could have been him.

The bullet had been millimetres away from him, but it had hit Vanessa.

Xander burst into tears. He couldn't take it anymore.

He remembered all the times Vanessa and him had spent together. There had been no bullets then.

Xander was sitting on the sofa, sniffling. His eyes were unfocused as his mind wandered back to the cafeteria, where everything went wrong.

If only they had decided to play basketball or something during lunch that day.

Then, Vanessa wouldn't have died.

And Xander wouldn't have seen her leave the world right before his eyes.

The 14-year old let out a sob, clenching his fists. He just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be.

Please, God, get me out of this nightmare.

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

Felix felt empty. Like a deflated balloon.

He stared off into space, his eyes playing tricks on him.

It was a Friday. Ryder and Felix should have been at school, Ryder annoying the hell out of Felix and excited for soccer practice. He should have been with Felix, laughing and smiling and joking and alive.

Felix could hear his twin in his head, making fun of his mismatched clothes and just anything in general.

Felix could imagine his brother walking into the house after soccer practice, drained of energy and asking Felix for some water.

Felix could feel Ryder slapping him on the back for being too sensitive.

Well, would you have said I'm being too sensitive if you knew what happened?

Felix looked up at his room's ceiling which was filled with glow in the dark stars.

Ryder loved them... Well, used to.

The remaining twin turned to his side, the bed sagging underneath him. He faced what used to be Ryder's side of the room, tears pricking his eyes.

His eyes wandered from the drawings on the walls, to the clothes on the floor, to the books on his desk.

Felix could feel his heart clench, as bile rose up his throat.

He let out a choked sob.

I miss you so much, Ryder.

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

Janelle's room felt too small. The walls felt like they were moving in on her.

Janelle felt like she was being suffocated. Her room was too small. Too small.

Like the broom closet.

Janelle fell to her knees, her mind swarming with memories from that day.

The feeling of suffocation. Of being strangled.

Janelle could feel her heart rate pick up, her heart thumping wildly against her chest. Her breathing became uneven and fast as images from that day filled her head.

It had been the police dog that had found her.

He had sniffed her out and found her unconscious in the broom closet.

Without him, Janelle probably would have never been found.

The thought brought tears to her eyes and Janelle clutched her chest, attempting to regain her calm fearless self.

But that was the me in the past.

The room felt too small. Too little space. Too little.

Janelle hid her face in her hands.

I've lost myself.

Janelle lifted her face from her hands. Her eyes darted around the room in fear.

The killer. He could be anywhere.

He could shoot me.

Janelle let out a scream. She could feel imaginary hands tighten their grip around her neck, killing her. She couldn't breathe.

Janelle's mother barged into the room, panic-stricken.

Mom's here. She'll save me.

But Janelle could feel herself sinking further and further into an abyss of darkness and sorrow.

The walls were caving in, squeezing her lungs. Squeezing the life out of her.

"Janelle? Janelle!" Came her mother's voice as she shook her child, attempting to get her out of her daytime nightmare.

Please, save me, mom. Janelle tried screaming, but her voice was no more. And with that, Janelle sunk into the depths of darkness once again.

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Laila stood outside her older sister's room, silently crying.

The door had a sign with the letter A and a few blue aesthetic stickers.

Just how Ayishah liked it.

Laila's younger sister peeked out from her room and approached the crying girl, "Lai Lai, what's wong?"

Laila glanced at Azeeza, almost laughing at how Azeeza still got her pronunciations wrong.

Ayishah and I would have laughed at her together.

A sob escaped Laila as she crouched to Azeeza's level and looked the girl in the eye, "I... I just miss Ayishah kakak*."

Azeeza tilted her head at her older sister, her features twisted in confusion, "But, where did Ayishah kakak go? Mummy said she's sleeping."

Laila's lower lip began to wobble as she said the next few words, "Yes, kakak is in a long, long slumber, okay? We.. we won't see her... her again." Azeeza's lips formed a pout at that statement, her eyes still showing confusion. "But if you remember to pray to God, then all will be fine, okay?"

Azeeza nodded her head. "Then, don't be sad, kakak! All will be fine!"

That did it. Laila broke into sobs, hugging her little sister. "Yes...please... Let all be fine."

Azeeza hugged her sister tightly, and that night, she prayed to God with all her might. 

"Allah, pleeaaaaase make Laila kakak happy! I saw her cwying today and that make me sad! I don't like when evewyone sad. Is not nice. I want Mummy, Papa and kakak to be vewy vewy vewy happy! Then I'll happy. And please let us see Ayishah kakak one more time, pleaseeeee. I miss her so much! I nevew say bye! Pwetty please? I wanna see Ayishah kakak. Please please please, Allah. Thank you vewy much! Aameen."

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*Kakak = older sister (Malay)