I couldn't focus for the rest of the day. I zoned out a couple times and it was blatant.

I decided to spend my break on the library floor, going through some biology books. Specifically, the female reproductive system. 'An entire human inside a tiny space' I thought to myself as I flipped through the pages. It made me feel sick, but I forced myself to read more because it was my way of trying scare myself into not making any decisions that I would regret.

"Kourtney?"

I slammed the book shut then stood up promptly. "Hey Natalie, just doing some studying. I'm   going to participate in the science fair," I added. She stood in front of me with her arms around a stack of books.

I honestly forgot about her. She always kept to herself and always stayed out of trouble yet somehow found herself in our situation in the very end. "I'm glad I didn't take bio," she said. "The reproductive process kind of freaks me out," she laughed. 'So, it's not just me,' I thought to myself. 

" We haven't really kept in touch lately. How have you been?" she asked with the most convincing friendly smile. "I'm good. Just been a busy." I was starting to feel nervous. At the time I always felt as if Natalie was able to sense things, but I later realized that it was just my conscience telling me that could tell her anything and that was exactly what I did most of the time. I suppose I felt guilty for keeping something from her especially something that was related to one of her friends.

"How's you and... Mr you know who," she giggled.

It slowly started to occur to me that my relation was all she really cared about. 

"We're good." My response was subtle but forced. "Thats good," She smiled." I have to put the rest of these away," she said referring to the books she was still trying to hold onto.

I went to my last class for the day and that's where I had to face Trent. He met me outside the library so that we could walk to class together. He was aware of the fact that I wanted my space, but he still had his concerns. "We didn't talk the entire day," he said. 

"I know. I just don't feel too good," I responded.  

It wasn't a lie.  Being around Trent made me feel worse about the whole situation but not because I was keeping something from him. It was just paranoia. "It's the end of the day. Just rest when you get home." He reached out for my hand, and I allowed our fingers to intertwine. He was very affectionate and that did scare me.

Our Visual arts class was just a practical period that Mrs Kooper set aside for us to work on our year projects. I seemed morbid as if I had come back from a funeral. He respected me and my wishes and tried his best to ignore it while we discussed how we will go about executing our exhibition. We made a list of what we needed and agreed to get all the supplies on the Saturday of that week. Doing so did take my mind off of Shannon for a bit. The class was over before I knew it and from there, he walked me back to homeroom.

"So, have you decided where we should go on Saturday? You know, before we get our supplies," he asked.

I felt fear arise, but I did feel the need to go out and forget about reality. "I actually didn't think of a place yet," I answered bleakly. I was still trying to get used to the 'freedom' thing.  "Well, the world is your oyster, but since we can't leave the country or the state you have fewer options," he chuckled. I laugh. My emotions were so better you would think that I was the one who received that frightening news.

"Come on Kourt. Surely there's somewhere you're dying to go. Lazer tag, hiking, beach? Pick, choose and refuse. Please don't say 'the mall' " he complained in a girl's tone.

"I definitely won't say the beach. I have never experienced a good time at the beach," I responded sounding more and more morbid.

"How come?"

"Well, many reasons. Either blue jellyfish or crabs or sand in my eyes or slipping on wet rocks or losing my favourite beach ball to the ocean, etcetera. I just never had a good experience."

"Great so the beach is," he said.

He always did the opposite of what I asked.