My star sign is Leo and I'm not saying that I am a strong believer of horoscopes or astrology, but I sometimes believe that they are 30% accurate and therefore I believe that I can be jealous person from time to time.  I didn't mean to show any feelings of animosity towards Trent and after cooling off that evening, I realised that it was my fault for allowing my feelings to get the best of me.

The following day seemed a lot more promising than that dreadful Monday.  Well at least most of it was. I got to school then looked around for after school activities that I could participate in temporarily since my mom was my after-school transport. The only thing that sparked my interest was the Shakespeare's theatre which, fortunately, took place that afternoon. It was just for one afternoon but at least it was something that kept me out of trouble. Well sort of...

The atmosphere at school was a little less morbid than it was the day before. Some of Kristine's closest friends attended her funeral that morning and returned to school towards the end of our second class. I didn't go because I clearly didn't know Kristen well enough and if I did then I firmly believe that she wouldn't have done what she did.  At lunch I decided to sit with Jessica and her friends. It started to look like a much better option especially since Shannon and Tina were no longer fond of me. There was silence because they were still grieving after the funeral. The atmosphere shifted after Shannon and Trina showed up at our table. They seemed to be doing better than the people sitting at the table. "Do you guys want to go see a movie after school?" Asked Shannon.

'After tears?'  I asked myself. 

I thought it was little inappropriate of Shannon and Trina. Grieving must stop at some point but how can you be so close to someone and then just suddenly be over them after their funeral? "I'll, pass." Jessica was not in the mood for Shannon and Trina. " I think I'll join," said Brady. he looked very uncomfortable, but he probably agreed to go because Trina was going. "Me to," said Chad. We all knew why he went.

"Trent?" Trina asked waiting for a response. Trent just looked pissed. He took his time to answer and when he did, it still wasn't and exact answer. "I'll think about it," he said in a gruff tone. "Wow. We're all still hurting from thee funeral. Would you like to join us Kourt. I mean you didn't attend Kristine's funeral. Maybe you would be in the mood of doing something fun?" Shannon was starting to piss me off as well, but I didn't want to retaliate to what she had said. "No thanks. I'm going to Shakespeare's Theatre after school."

"Too bad." 

They both walked off quite proud of what they started. I felt so horrible about everything; Kristine's best friends thinking nothing of her, what I supposedly did to Kristine and for Chad and Brady because they were obviously being lured into something. Nevertheless, I continued to stay calm throughout the day and remained focussed on my work.  It's funny how my experience at Bellevue went from simple and structured to gradual decline into chaos. 

After my final class, I said goodbye to Jessica then went straight to the school's auditorium. Being on bad terms with my father did come with the benefit of being able to destress by engaging in an after-school activity.  I assumed that those few seats are filled up by theatre enthusiasts, future thespians and people deeply involved in the world of literature. The school's theatre was beautiful and seemed expensive too.

Well furnished with velvet carpets and seats. The proscenium arch stage had a black backdrop with burgundy curtains and two headlights on either side of the apron. I decided to take a seat near the end of the row so that I could leave as soon as the play ended instead of waiting for people to exit.

The lights in the auditorium became dim and the room was merely dark. Everyone was silenced as the spotlight illuminated one of the actors on stage. I noticed that I was the only person in the audience who was sitting alone while others were either laughing with a group of friends or were seated in pairs holding hands. Like the couple that was three seats away from me. The person in charge of the lighting and audio is doing a really good job.

 Minor details in a production or film gets my adrenalin pumping. 

"Did I miss much?" Someone whispered as they sat down in empty seat next to me.
"No, it just started," I responded.
'That familiar scent'.  His curls were wet which meant he had just got back from football practice. "Did the actors tell the audience to hold hands?" He asked.

"No. They're just holding hands because they are a couple, and you know that."

"I didn't know that."

 I had a feeling that Trent and I were going to spend more time arguing and less time watching the play.

"Besides, couples aren't the only people who can hold hands," he whispered.

Trent took my hand, and our fingers automatically intertwined. I had a tingling sensation run through my entire body. "See. We can do it too," he smirked.

Hamlet is known to be tragic. To me, it's purely built on a dark but true philosophy of existentialism. A dark philosophy about life but in my mind, it's a beautiful philosophy on the horrors of existence. Like Hamlet asked; ' is it honourable or noble of a man to accept the hardships of life or is it better to be free and take your own life?'

Maybe that's what it was like for Kristen. Maybe there were too many things that were overwhelming her, and I wish that I could've considered that as a factor at the time. 

I loved to research philosophy. Exploring different reasonings and explanations often gave a better insight of things. The absurdity of it all is that everyone tends to think their reasoning is correct, but what do we know? Could everything around us not just be purposeless? Or is it just the way we choose to see things?

In my seventeen-year-old eyes; there was no meaning to anything, not even our lives. I guess that people are the only reason why people think life has meaning. We give it our own.

Imagine desperately looking for a meaning every day. I try to fill the void with paintbrushes, pottery, books, music and all things creative. But it still seems pointless.
I am healthy, with absolutely no illnesses, but I feel as though I am hanging onto my life by a loose thread.

After sitting through a beautiful play, the lights in the theatre dimmed once more and everyone started making their way out through the rows and aisles of the auditorium. Everyone except us.
"Trent," I tapped his shoulder. He grumbled under his breath. "Come on Trent. Show's over, get up." He removed his head from my shoulder then rubbed his eyes.

"Damn," he yawns. "Waste of a ticket don't you think?" I ask.
"Not really. I had the best seat in the house."

'The best seat in the house? What was the point of having the best seat when he missed such a beautiful play?' I asked myself.

"Ok well it looks like you're going to be here for a while so I'm just going to head out," I said, getting ready to make my way for the exit. Trent helds the back of the chair in front of him as an attempt to block my path towards the exit. "Where do you think you're going?"

I couldn't tell if Trent is joking or being serious because it sounded like a threat, yet his tone was suddenly soft. "My mother will be coming for me soon," I answered.
He stood up in front of me. 'Gosh he's tall.' His eyes were glued to me, and I felt slightly intimidated by the way he towered over me.

 Dead silent.

"We still have time then," he smirked. "Come with me." He grabbed my hand and lead me down the aisle of the auditorium, towards the stage. "I really have to go," I panicked.

He deliberately ignored me. He left me at the centre of the stage. "Stay here."

I watched him make his way to the extreme left of the stage then disappear behind the curtain.
While I waited to see what would happen, I notice a piano in the corner. 'Do I still remember how to play?'
I took a seat on the bench in front of the piano and starred at the keys.

The stage lights turn on one by one. White light lit the stage area then changed from white to blue. "Ok that's cool now, turn it off," I called out. The last thing I needed was for someone to walk in and scold us for messing with the stage lights.

"Relax short stack." He reappeared from behind the curtain. "I noticed that the lighting impressed you during the play."

He sats beside me on the bench then pressed on of the piano keys and that was all it took to tempt me. Pressing a few keys turned into playing a song that I was taught by my piano teach when I was nine. Trent just watched me play.

"The little things mean the most," I responded.

He put his hand over mine to stop me from playing. I remained silent as I stared at the keys. I felt his warm fingertips touch the bottom of my chin and slowly turn my head in his direction.

The stage lights made his eyes appear lighter than usual. The tingling sensation returned in my core as he slowly drifted closer to me. I was nervous for several reasons which was why I decided to take action.

"Shit, my mom must be worried!"
I backed away fast and to be honest; I regret making the decision. "Thank you so much for watching the play with me!" I called out as I left the theatre.

The mistake that I made was overthinking for no reason. I could be in the best situation and still ruin it for myself just because I always thought of the worst scenarios, I would find myself in.

I headed up to the gate and spotted my mother's car in the parking lot. Without thinking, I bolted to the car. Running wasn't even necessary because it's not like Trent was chasing me for a kiss. My mother started the car after I got in, and just as we were about to exit off the school premises; I saw Trent. My first instinct was to hide. 

So, I ducked down behind the dashboard.

"You seem very jumpy," she said. "What's going on?"
"Just drive," I whisper.
"Is he bothering you?" My mother asked.
I didn't answer until we were off the school's lot "Something like that."
"This is exactly why your father wanted to put you in a girl's school," she snickered. "So, what's his name and is deal?"

I didn't want to have that conversation with her because I assumed that she would never let me hear the end of it.

"That's just Trent. Don't worry about him. It's nothing serious."
"Wow. Okay. I was only curious. It's not like I'm after him," she laughed.