I walked down the hall with the familiar hospital-y smell. How many times had I walked down this very corridor? Hyunjoon's condition wasn't getting worse, but he wasn't getting better. If he got even the slightest bit healthier, they'd consider discharging him as long as someone kept watch over him 24/7. I had talked to a close friend about it beforehand and they didn't mind helping out. I was eternally grateful that he could work from home.

I knocked on the familiar wood colored door and waited for an answer. None. How much sleep did Hyunjoon need? I decided not to bother him and took a seat in the waiting area they had set up. I looked around and took in the familiar sight. Ceiling lights were perfectly aligned and alternated with the actual ceiling. The walls were a boring white which would've made the area dull if it weren't for the light blue chairs in the waiting area.

I saw a few nurses hurry past me then enter Hyunjoon's room. I moved to get up then stopped. I'd only get in their way. I remained seated as I nervously bounced my leg. It wasn't easy sitting still and letting others care for your loved one who was suffering. Especially in times like this when you have no power and can only rely on the professionals. I covered my face with my hands in utter defeat.

After a while, the nurses had come out. I rushed over to them and bombarded them with questions.

"He's okay. He got a bit excited and probably triggered himself." he explained. "Do be careful not to excite him too much. The effect could hurt him this time."

I nodded then headed inside. I walked a little ways in and saw Hyunjoon sitting up straight in a daze. He was staring at the wall in front of him.

"Joon?" I called out as I walked closer.

He sat there unmoving. It was like his consciousness was somewhere else. I reached for his hand then interlaced our fingers. Hyunjoon let out a tiny grunt, but kept his eyes on the wall.

"Joon..." I said worriedly as I started to stroke his hair.

Hyunjoon tipped over and let his head rest against my stomach. I kept stroking his hair and couldn't help but wonder what was on his mind that kept him in such a daze.

"Will I never go home..." he finally said after a long silence.

I didn't think he knew. I kept quiet as I thought of the best response.

"You will go home, just not now. Don't worry about when, and focus on getting your body to destroy this illness." I said as cheerfully as I could.

"I miss our late night walks, the morning kisses and cuddles, the love making." he said sadly.

It sounded as if he was going to cry. I bent down some and confirmed he had indeed started crying. It's been three weeks since he had been admitted into the hospital and the fourth week was slowly creeping up on us. I sat on the edge of the bed then had him cry into my chest. Seeing him upset made me upset too. I never liked seeing nor hearing him cry. It felt like being stabbed multiple times like Julius Caesar.

"Come on, crying isn't going to help you get out of here is it?" I said as I patted him his back.

"No..." he muttered into my chest. "But I needed to cry..."

He pulled away from me then moved to wipe his eyes. I stopped him then handed him a tissue from the tissue box on the table. His usual happy self had come back after wiping his eyes free from tears.

"So, what got you so excited that had nurses running?" I asked curiously.

"You." he responded without hesitation.

"Me? Yet you didn't act like that yesterday." I reasoned as I helped him lie back on the bed.

"I don't know... Hearing your familiar knock just made me really happy..." he said as he looked at me.

I wasn't sure if my heart was swelling with joy or throbbing with pain. Perhaps it was both. I kissed his forehead and received tiny giggles in return. He has to get better. He just has to.

"So, did Eunseol ever confess to Soobin?" Hyunjoon asked suddenly.

"No. Believe it or not, Soobin and Kris were rumored to be seen together in an empty office apparently. Said they were closer than what best friends consider comfortable. Never thought Soobin swung that way." I said as I remembered what I overheard.

"Kris does? Since when?" he asked in surprise. Could he not tell from all the times he's visited me at work? "Wow..."

"You really didn't know...? I'm sure he literally said out loud once that 'he was too gay to move'." I said as I thought back to it.

"I thought he meant happy." countered Hyunjoon.

"Fair." I replied with a shrug.

He started to laugh and I found it slightly unnerving. What was so funny? I opened my mouth to ask, but he already started explaining himself.

"I'm starting to miss my life..." he said with a bittersweet smile.

Hyunjoon looked close to tears. He gripped his bedsheets tightly then looked up at me. His eyes were watery despite his face being pulled into a look of displeasure.

"I want to go home." he said as a tear fell out of his eye.