Hospitals are always horrible, they remind me of Zach. And how he was in the hospital, Zach felt like my everything and my whole world.

Now what should I do, choosing always makes things worse. Sometimes I wish I can just have both. But sadly that's not how the world works.

You can't just have the love of your life and your new love. Specialy not when your me, the unlucky Carmella Coltberry.

As the minutes pass the sun dips low and the sky turns colors as the breeze outside kicks up to a colder tempature.

Ryder walks in with a bag, he pulls out containers and hands me one. I see that inside is fish and chips.

And that he got the same thing too, "thanks." I say weakly, he nods and then furrows his eyebrows. "What's wrong?" I shake my head.

I can't tell him I miss Zach because that's who he faught and now hates.
"No, tell me." He growls, I let out a sigh and somehow tears stream down my cheecks.

Panic settles over him as he looks like he doesn't know what to do. So he gets up, places my food on the table by me. And lays on the blankets by me on the bed as I cry.

"Carmella?" "Yah?" I ask, "I think I love you." He says, I smile and he plants a kiss on my lips.

"I think I love you too." I say, he smiles and lays back down till' i'm ready to eat.
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"Bye Ryder see you tommorow." I say as he leaves the room waving goodbye. The door clicks closed and i'm left alone in the room.

The machine continues to beep to the point where I feel like throwing a rock at it. The door opens and I think it's Ryder. But it isn't, it's Zach, a smile on his face.

"Hey, whatcha doing here?" I ask with an unhidable smile. "Came to see you of course." He hands me a bouquet of dark pink roses and a light pigmented yellow flower.

"Thanks so much." He smiles nodding and sits on a chair by me leaning in.
"So, how have you been? I was really worried when I was imformed about this."

"How were you imformed about this?" I ask, "believe it or not your boyfriend told me." He says.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Ryder did?" I ask shaking my head in confusion, he replies back with a nod. "Why though?" "He knows that I still love you." Zach says, "oh shut up." I say rolling my eyes.

He laughs, and looks at the veiw begging to be looked at through the huge window.

"It's so pretty." He says, "yah." We talk for longer and reflect on memories he falls asleep in the chair and I drift of in the bed.
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"Mrs. Coltberry today you have the privilege of being realised. You may change into these clothes that Ryder Rhodet brought. Check out at the front counter, and leave for as long as you can." She says. I nod and get up as soon as she leaves.

I take off my gown and wash up, after braiding my hair in two long braids both close together in the back. I put on my outfit.

Black leggings, a blush pink cropped halter top, black flats, and loose big jean shirt unbuttoned. My choker wrapping loosley around my small neck. I leave the room and walk to the elavator.

When the doors open on the first floor I go to the front desk and handle a few things before going to the campus.
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My roomate greets me with a big hug and hands me a gift as a welcome back present. "Ugh I missed you so much. There was an amazing halloween party missed." She says bulging her eyes.

We make our way to my bed and sit on it as she fills me in on all I have missed. "You know Sasha Dempsy?" She asks, I nod slightly remembering.

"She got preagnant with Dylan O' Bryan's kid. Twins, she is four months in right now. She found out two months ago she was two in a half months in." She says as she opens a container of Oreo's.  My mouth waters as she bites into one and sets the container on her bed, I grab one and eat it.

We sit there eating a whole pack of cookies, gossiping, and talking about cute boys and who we are currently dating. Like me per say. I throw another sandwich cookie in my mouth and someone knocks on the door. "one, two, three, not it!" She shouts, I roll my eyes and snatch another cookie as I make my way to the door.

I open it to see Ryder and I smile while holding my cookie, "hey come in." I say, he does so and I close the door. "Want some Oreos?" I ask, he shakes his head and sits on the chair tucked into my roommate's and I desk. "So how are you guys?" "Good." We say in unison, Loren closes the cookie packet and puts it on top of our mini fridge. "Is there something you wanna talk about, like our-." he stops me and nods nervously.

We walk out the room and walk around in the campus halls, "Carmella, we need to focus more on us." He begins pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. "Not to be a controlling or jealouse boyfriend but I want you to hang with less guys and me more." He says.

"Why you don't trust me? I only love you, and by the way you should really stop smoking." I add on, he puts it in an ash tray and sighs. "I'm just saying I don't want you to, your my girlfriend." My eyes begin to sting, "doesn't mean you have the privlege  of controlling me, i'm my own person Ryder." I say as tears begin to fall. "Plus you didn't mind Zach meeting me earlier." I add on.

'What? I never knew about that." He says confused, then shakes his head. "whatever, I just want you to myself I can't risk loosing you. I've never had a feeling like this towards anyone and I don't wanna loose it." He says. Sensitivity fills his eyes, and he comes closer.

Trying to pull me in for a hug but I back away, "I think I need to think for the night. Maybe we can talk about this or something tommorow." I say, I make my way back to the room as I hope he'll cry me a river. Like I am for him, and like I'll always do for him.